NFL Picks. Week 8, 2015

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WEEK SEVEN!
DON'T YOU DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE BE SOUR, FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL THE POWERRRRR!

IT'S A NEW WEEK, YES IT IS.

We can try all we want to make this game interesting, and while the Dolphins might be able to score some points... I don't see this game being very competitive because Brady.
Yup.
Because Brady.
That's a thing now.

I just don't trust Kansas City.
They should've blown the game against Pittsburgh last week and I just don't trust them to beat a team like Detroit.
If ever there were a game for Calvin Johnson to run wild... It would be this.

This feels like a game that the Ravens can win.
But coming off of a short week...

I'm just kidding.
The Chargers got destroyed by the Raiders last week.
We can pretend their fourth quarter garbage points matter, but in all reality, this game was nowhere near as close as the score indicates.

The big kick here is that the Chargers have to travel across the country, and even against a shaky team like the Ravens, that's a hassle.

I bet Conner thinks he's got me on the ropes here.

The Browns are just not good.
Last week, the truth finally caught up with them.
They're just a bad team.
The Cardinals... while not as good as we originally assumed, are still good enough to get the job done.

The pixelation of his photo just feels accurate.
Two mediocre teams competing for mediocre prizes in a mediocre way.

Hey Teddy, 1,339 yards, 5 TDs, 4 INTs?
That's cute.
Not 1,460 yards, 11 TDs, and 3 INTs, but hey...

Nobody said you were Derek Carr.
Just keep handin' the ball off buddy, you'll be happy someday.
And yes, I'm a little bitter.
And feeling... slightly vindicated.

You want to think the Steelers will be all forces go for this game... but I just don't see it
Even if Big Ben is back in time, he'll be playing a well rested Bengals team.
I don't know, I just don't trust them.
They've got all the pieces to be a great team, but the coaching staff has become a problem.


Hey geniuses...
If you're on your third string QB...
And they haven't stopped the run all day...
And you've got Le'Veon Bell?
RUN THE BALL.

Oh good God.
Does someone have to win this game?
Jeez.
I don't even wanna pick it.
I'm gonna take the Texans because please, oh please, for the love of Seth Rollins, do something JJ Watt.

Back to back impressive wins by the Saints... Obviously they've turned a corner, yes?
Yeah.
Sure.
Or they've just hit two overrated teams.
I'm gonna go with that.
JPP comes back this week, and he should breathe some life into a stagnant defense.
As for Eli...

That offense needs to focus on running the ball first, flashy one handed catches later.

Remember in How I Met Your Mother, when the characters would ask Barney Stinson what he did for a living, and he would just laugh and say please?

That's how I feel about this game.
Colin Kaepernick?
The 49ers Defense?
Lol. Please.

I'll take 3 doses of Gurley and a crazed pass rush for the win, Alex.

Do you really think I'm going to pick the Bucs after the historical comeback they blew against the Redskins?
The Redskins?
The Redskins?
The Redskins?
Hey, when they blew that huge lead to Indy back in 03, at least that meant something.
Peyton Manning?
Dungy revenge game?
Sure.
But the Redskins?

Falcons win.

Betcha thought I'd be picking Raiders from now on, eh?
Welllll guess again.
The Jets have a stifling defense and that damn Ryan Fitzpatrick might become the first player in NFL history to beat a franchise on four different teams.
That dude just doesn't respect the Raiders.

Sure, they might still come out and play like they did today, tearing the team apart... but...

This team stifled the Patriots offense, and guys... the Raiders aren't the Patriots.

This is a bit of a swing pick.
The Dallas D.
That rushing attack...
But then I realized, I was living in a fantasy land.
In this fantasy land, tams with awful quarterbacks go up against talented secondaries and have good games.
I was living in a fantasy castle... or should I say Cassel?

Seahawks win, Cowboys implode, and for some reason, nobody acknowledges that Romo makes Dallas a contender.

It's glorious.
After this game, one of the teams I hate will stop being undefeated.
Sure, I could play up on the "Rodgers can't play on the road" narrative, but I prefer another.
Manning is done.
He's well done.
He's over easy.
Scrambled.
He's washed.
The offense is stagnant, and even if Rodgers does struggle, I don't think the Broncos will be able to keep up with the Packers.

I want to pick the Colts.
I really do.
I'm waiting for the Andrew Luck era to begin.
But...
Honestly...
It won't be this year.
Hell, Derek Carr's outplaying Luck this year.
Getting tired of me hyping up Derek Carr?
Don't worry, after they play up the "Leonard Williams Revenge" Narrative this week, there might not be much of a Carr to hype.

Another fluke win.
Another blah blah blah Scam MVP blah blah blah.

You know, I used to be so good at making these picks. I don't know what's happened this year. *sigh*

Miami @ New England: Everybody wants to make a big deal about how Miami has played the last 2 weeks. Newsflash: WHO HAVE THEY PLAYED?!? This week, they get to play a good team, on a short week. We'll see how good they really are. Patriots win.

Detroit @ Kansas City: Another one of those games where I could easily see myself picking one team and getting screwed. I guess I'll take the Chiefs because they're at home? Does either team deserve to win this game?

Tampa Bay @ Atlanta: What happened to the Atlanta offense? They haven't been the same the last 3 weeks. Nowhere near as explosive of effective. I mean, 10 points against Tennessee? That's bad. Luckily they get Jameis and the Bucs this week. Atlanta wins, but I don't necessarily think it will be a decisive win.

Arizona @ Cleveland: Arizona is the better team, so even though they have to come west to east, they should win this game against JOHNNY FOOTBALL and the Browns. Cardinals win.

San Francisco @ St. Louis: The line on this game was Rams -9.5 this morning. I think the Rams are just inconsistent enough to the point where they shouldn't blow the 49ers out. But, I still think the Rams win, and make the situation in San Fran even worse.

New York Giants @ New Orleans: The Giants barely were able to hold off a Cowboys team at home last week which was without Romo, Dez, and was led by Matt Cassell. And even so, the Giants are first in the NFC East. As for the Saints, they went to Indy last week and controlled the Colts from the start. Is Drew Brees starting to get himself back to form? I had wrote the Saints off for good a couple weeks ago.....but I'm back on the bandwagon this week. Saints pick up a big win at home in the dome.

Minnesota @ Chicago: This is going to be an ugly football game. I don't really have faith in either of these teams. I guess I'll take Chicago? Sure, I'll take Chicago.

San Diego @ Baltimore: Go figure, I pick San Diego last week, they get destroyed, and I mean DESTROYED, by Oakland. Now they get to fly east, to take on my struggling Ravens, who keep coming SO CLOSE every week, yet can't find a way to get it done. This team is better than 1-6. I think they'll play like it this week. Ravens win, I hope.

Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh: Big Ben is back for the Steelers! I think this is a Pittsburgh team that's poised to make a big second half run too with Roethlisberger back at the helm. This is the first of 3 straight home games for the Steelers (they get Oakland and Cleveland next) and there's a chance for them to bite into the AFC North lead the Bengals have, even though Cincy is undefeated at 6-0. If Cincy can win this game, I think they truly are for real. But, I don't think they will. Steelers win, in a victorious return for Big Ben.

Tennessee @ Houston: Good lord. You talk about ugly football games......coin flip type game here. First to 13 points wins? I'll give it to Houston for the win. (what's remarkable is that if Houston wins, and Indy loses, the Texans will be tied for first in the AFC South......)

New York Jets @ Oakland: The Jets were so close to pulling the upset over the Patriots last week....then they remembered they were the Jets. This isn't really a bad football team. Then, there's the Raiders, who put a beatdown on the Chargers last week. Every single time I've picked the Raiders to win this year, they've let me down, badly.....this is your last chance! I think the Raiders can, and will, win this game.

Seattle @ Dallas: Which Seahawks team will we see this week? Will Dallas have Dez Bryant back? Will Greg Hardy go crazy on somebody else on his own team? Why am I asking so many questions in this pick? I think we see the good Seahawks team show up this week, and Seattle wins.

Green Bay @ Denver: The battle of the undefeated teams! Looking forward to this matchup, as is most of the country. Did NBC strike gold or what? Both teams unbeaten, and coming off of bye weeks, should make for a great matchup. But unlike most of the country, I'm going with Green Bay in this one. There's just something about Denver this year that has been off, even though they're unbeaten. I like Rodgers to put up some big numbers and I think Green Bay goes to 7-0.

Indianapolis @ Carolina: You keep waiting for the Colts to have a breakout week, and you keep waiting for the Panthers to have a down week, and neither of those things has happened yet. I could easily see this week being that week where the Colts breakout, but I still think the Panthers find a way to stay unbeaten. What's sad is that the Colts, according to my picks, will still be tied for first with Houston at 3-5.....wow.

Speaking of wow, the amount of picks I'm behind is just......wow.

We've got a couple of interesting disagreements this week!

I picked the Lions while he picked the Chiefs.
I picked the Vikings while he picked the Bears.
I picked the Giants while he picked the Saints.
I picked the Jets while he picked my Raiders. (It's always one or the other, we never agree).
I picked Cincinnati while he picked Pittsburgh.

Five games!
If Fleegle were get a sweep here (meaning my Raiders won and are one game out of first place!), it would be huge for him.