Ride at Amusement Park- Monologue

 

This ride? You’re sure? I don’t know…I don’t tend to like rides that go upside down. Okay, okay, so ten bucks if I hate it. No I’m seriously holding you to that. No screw you; I’m not going on then. Ha-ha okay good, ten bucks then. They board the ride and get strapped into the seats. Why the hell did they choose a boat for this to be set on? Am I supposed to feel like I went on some vacation cruise that goes completely awry? Whatever. This is dumb. I hate you. Sir! Excuse me sir, playing with all the ride gadgets, am I supposed to take these flip flops off with my legs dangling? Hello? Could you please answer me? To friend, who is this asshole? Ride begins. Okay, great…guess I don’t have to take them off. Ride is flipping and spinning as they scream and finally it begins to slow down as they are suspended upside down, parallel to the ground. Holy shit, okay that wasn’t so bad. But I still hate you for making me go on this. It’s so hot and these huge black things on top of us aren’t exactly comfortable. Ride freezes as they are still slightly upside down facing the ground. What the fuck, why did it stop? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES? Oh my god, this is not happening right now. I hate you so much Ally. Starts rapidly kicking feet in anger. Seriously? My sandal comes off now? HEY YOU! Yeah you idiot standing there not doing anything to help us get off, get my sandal. Okay cool. Ignore me. Cool. I’m gonna pass out. I can’t deal with this level of stress. Can someone PLEASE tell me when we’re getting off of this thing? What do you mean you don’t know? Are you fucking retarded? This is why you work at an amusement park; go get an education, seriously. So we have to wait till the maintenance people get here? Shouldn’t you just have them around for instances like this? Why isn’t anyone else talking? What the hell! Someone get my SANDAL!!!! I’m seriously about to sue someone. How long has it been? Like 45 minutes? Oh, five? Oh well it seems longer.

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