This Is Tom Brady's Last Season... Crashing Like His Car!
New England Patriots QB Tom Brady just crashed his Audi. He's okay, but that only refers to his health: This will be Tom's last season as a "highly rated" QB. He's not likely to retire after this year, but he might as well, as he will soon be in the roster of the JaMarcus Russells and Ryan Leafs of NFL history: Total washouts.
The New England Pattywhacks will look a lot worse than Tom's Audi by the end of this season. To call it a car crash will be an overly kind comment.
It's been years since Mr. Bundchen actually played his position in any way that could even be remotely be termed as "well." He and his partner in crime Belichick have won football game through smoke, mirrors, and videocams for far too long, and every scam sooner or later unravels.
The New England Patriots are about to unravel in 2010 and you can rest assured that it's going to be a very ugly season up at Gillette Stadium. The local fans may want to stock up on Gillettes so they can slice their jugulars in the stand while they watch the once mighty New England Patriots become the wussy New England Patsies.
Where will New England end up at the end of the 2010 season? Most likely 6-10 and at the bottom of their division. Not that their division is anything to write home about, but the lackluster Toronto Bills look like Montana's 49ers next to the 2010 New England Patchjobs. The way this season is shaping up, Josh Freeman and his squad of tropical-green freshman Tampa Bay Bucs could come into Gillette Stadium in a white-out blizzard and kick Tom's team right in the New England Patellas.
It's not all Tom's fault other than being a fatuous, self-absorbed, no-talent, over the hill QB. The primary responsibility lies with the New England Paterfamilias himself, Belichick. To be kind, let's put it this way. If Belichick hadn't become an NFL coach, he would have been an excellent three card monte artist scamming tailgaters out of 20 bucks in the parking lot. The essence of the problem is simple: There is no reason to have anyone of Belichick's subterranean ethics soiling the name of the National Football League.
Belichick knows as much about football as I know about the mating rituals of the alien whales swimming around underneath Europa's ice cap. His playbook is the result of a monkey typing session, and his skills as a coach would have him thrown off a Pop Warner team in Guam. It would also be advisable for the principal of the Guam high school to check his wallet before he closed the gate behind Belichick's butt, as he can be trusted as much as your average felon embezzler ex-con.
There will be ample tears shed in the Boston baked beans this season as the New England Pathogens get hit with ample doses of germicide by some of the worst teams in the NFL. If Tom Brady had any brains whatsoever (and it's questionable that he does) he would just retire now and avoid himself the embarrassment.
Go home to your supermodel wife and your millions of dollars stacked up in the safe, Tom. And watch where you're driving that Audi!
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