Top 10 Reasons Why Pro Football Should be Banned From Network TV

Let's Kick Off With a Football Joke (But It's Not Really a Joke After All-Is it?)

Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and
watching a football game!

Quoted from: jokes4us.com

Source

Man Marries Bacon

#10 Commercials for Unhealthy Foods and Idiotic Concepts

My #10 pick for reasons why professional football should be banned from network television programming is the incessant, plethera of commericals for unhealthy foods that are married with idiodic concepts, such as this Jack-in-the-Box "Man Marries Bacon" television commercial. Not only is bacon an unheatlhy food choice, the concept of somebody loving bacon so much that they would marry it, is as stupid as the Brazilian man who announced his plans to marry his pet goat.

Source

Man and Wife Trying to Watch a Football Game Together

#9 Increased Alcohol Consumption While Watching Football on TV Causes Diminished Intelligence

It's common knowledge that the consumption of alcohol kills brain cells dead. Whenever men get together and watch football, there's usually a massive quantity of beer, and other libations, nearby. So, it stands to reason, that logically watching professional football and drinking beer makes men get progressively dumber. If you don't believe me, try having a conversation with a man watching a football game and drinking beer about something that is totally unrelated to football. It's like having a discussion with a rhesus monkey about the unsanitary habit of throwing feces or trying to explain to a processionary caterpillar about the dangers of always following the leader.

#8 Increased Consumption of Unhealthy Foods Leads to Overload of Omega 6 Fatty Acids

We all need certain fatty acids, which are sometimes referred to as EFAs, and it's commonly agreed on by doctors that the ratio of Omega 6 to Omega 3 EFAs should be around 2:1 and certainly no more than 4:1. Professional football games has led to the habit of eating unhealthy snacks and beverages that are loaded with Omega 6 fatty acids and all kinds of other unhealthy fats, sugars, carbs, and salts. The trouble starts with the salty snacks like pretzels and potato chips, which make the viewers thirst. To quench the thirst there is either beer which is loaded with carbs or soda pop which is loaded with sugar, carbs, calories, phosphoric acid, and carbonic acid. Even if the soda is zero calorie, zero sugar, zero fat, there are still the acids in it, which are doing nothing healthy for the human body.

Then there's the pizza, buffalo wings, blue cheese dressing, nachos and dip, and who knows how many other food items that are assaulting our good health. Many researchers now believe that the fact that the average American's Omega 6 to Omega 3 ration is in the vicinity of 20:1 is a great cause for concern, and a major contributory factor in the increases of such diseases as autism, ADHD, coronary artery disease, and many digestive disorders.Thus by reason of association, one must draw the conclusion that watching professional football is making Americans fatter, sicker, and dumber.

"Dietary sources of omega−6 fatty acids include:

  • poultry
  • nuts
  • cereals
  • durum wheat
  • whole-grain breads
  • most vegetable oils
  • evening primrose oil
  • borage oil
  • blackcurrant seed oil
  • flax/linseed oil
  • rapeseed or canola oil
  • hemp oil
  • soybean oil
  • cottonseed oil
  • sunflower seed oil
  • corn oil
  • safflower oil
  • pumpkin seeds
  • acai berry[citation needed]
  • cashews
  • pecans
  • pine nuts
  • walnuts

Source: WikiPedia"

What Should Replace Professional Football on TV

What is Your Top Choice for Programming to Replace Professional Football on Network TV

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Injuries uncovered: Compared to a normal brain on the left, the brain of a former football player, a 59-year-old former linebacker, is riddled with higher amounts of tau protein (non-blue colors).
Injuries uncovered: Compared to a normal brain on the left, the brain of a former football player, a 59-year-old former linebacker, is riddled with higher amounts of tau protein (non-blue colors). | Source

#7 We Should Not Support Athletic Events That is Known to Cause Brain Injuries to the Players

There has been much hub-bub in the news recently about the lack of brain protection that is provided by the current headgear that the NFL is using for their team members. The fact that concussions are a frequent head injury in the sport of football and that repeated concussions can cause brain damage, is pretty much undisputed among medical professionals.

Even more bad news, is that research studies have show that the hippocampus (not where hippopotami go to school), region of the brain was significantly smaller in men who played football vs. men of comparable age and overall health that didn't play football. The reduced size of the hippocampus has also been observed in patients with Alzheimer's disease. Should men, as football fans, be giving support to a game that is causing it's players to develop severe neurological disorders over the course of their careers in professional football? I say a resounding "no."

“Even through all the chatter and cheerleading and media hype, football as an American cultural institution lies in final spasm. It's as dead as the Marlboro Man.” ~Chicago Tribune columnist John Kass, April 24, 2013

#6 Does Nothing to Stimulate Imagination

Not only does watching professional football disrupt family values, it also does absolutley nothing to stimulate imagination or creativity. Kindgarten children engaging in fingerpainting are more creative then a group of men wathcing a professional football game on TV. As a matter of fact, not only does watching professional football not stimulate creativity or imagination, it actually dulls the areas of the brain where creativity and imagination originate.

Football fans will argue with me until the cows come home about this, but there is enough scientific evdience from sources too numerious to mention, that really there is no argument.

#5 Encourages People Who Can't Afford it to Gamble

With the economic situation in America being particularly difficult for many people, some are looking for a way to turn a fast back. Showing professional football games on TV furthere encourages people who are living on limited budgets to gamble away money they can't afford to lose. When they lose money that they didn't have enough of to start with, they become depressed and despondant, sometimes leading to other drastic behaviours such as alcoholism and sometimes even suicide. This is just another way in which football disrupts the lives of American families and leads the men in the families down a path of self-destructive behaviour.

#4 Encourages Wasteful Spending on Useless Sports Memorabilia

Some sports memorabilia on the market today is selling for multiple thousands of dollars. All sports are guilty of having merchandise in this category, but professional football is one of the areas where memorabilia brings in the highest prices. Whether it be autographed game winning Super Bowl footballs to autographed helmets from a fans favorite player, the amount of money exchanging hands is enormous. This is another area where people who can't afford it are encouraged to spend money on things they can't afford in the hopes that they can resell the items and turn a fast profit. This industry is also plagued by counterfeits, and many people do not know the proper resources to check the authenticity of sports memorablilia. To exhascerbate the problem, much of the sales are done over the Internet where the buyer can not even see or examine the merchandise in person before throwing down their hard-earned cash for it.

The statistics on how many people get ripped off every year buying counterfeit sports memorabilia, and in particular, pro football memorabilia, are staggering. Think of those poor children who went to bed hungry because dad spent the last of the family's money on an autographed Super Bowl football that turned out to be a fake. Not not only are the kids hungry, but dad is depressed and feeling guilty, mom is furious and making dad feel even more guitly, and now the whole family is in upheavel. There's nothing wrong with a man wanting to do better for his family, but network TVs promotion of professional football does nothing but encourage bad behaviour that destroys families.

#3 Watching Pro Football on Network TV Can Shorten Your Life Span

According to a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), every hour spent watching TV can shorten your life span up to 22 minutes and increase the risk of Type 2 diabetes. A typical football game on TV is about two hours, and now we have college football on Saturday, and pro football on Sunday, Monday, and Thursday. That's eight hours each week of just football, so if someone is watching all 8 hours, they can be shortening their lifespan up to 88 minutes each week. That's about 1 1/2 hours, so in one year that is almost 80 hours, or 3 1/3 full days. That means in 2 years, you have cut one entire week of of your life span. In ten years, you've cut 5 weeks off of your life span. If you knew the date that you were going to die without watching football on TV, and we told your wife, children, and other loved ones, that you are going to die 5 weeks earlier than originally planned because you watch professional football on TV, do you not think that they would all encourage you to stop watching football on TV?

Subliminal Advertising-Complete Documentary

#2 Causes Brain Damage and Addiction

Research studies have show that watching professional football on television (actually watching ANY television) is linked to impaired cognitive functions, such as the ability to think logically. Watching television is like being hypnotized. Television speaks to your subconscious mind, which can not tell the difference between reality and fiction. Watching certain types of television, or watching any televsion, for extended periods of time, causes your body to release endorphines (the body's version of heroin), which cause an enhanced state of eurphoria. Therefore, when someone has been watching excessive amounts of football programming, they will eventually become so addicted to it, that if they miss a football game they will have the same symptoms of withdrawl that a drug addict might have, including being agitated or angry, even up to sneaking away somewhere to watch the football game without anyone else's knowledge.

This is also a windfall for advertisers that pay big money to have their ads air during professional football games. These ads speak to the reptilian mind, which is the lower brain that controls functions such as hunger, thirst, and sexual desire. This greatly explains why most commercials that air during football games employ the use of sexy women dressed scantily and provacatively, to promote cars, trucks, food, and alcohol.

Drunk Dad Kills Son Over Watching Football

#1 Encourages Violent Behaviour, Up to and Including Murder

Men have an innate proclivity towards violence. It is evidenced in all of the thing that most of them enjoy, from professional football, to pro wrestling, to boxing matches, and war movies. Men want to have something or someone that they can dominate, whether it be another individual, a team, or an entire country. If there were no men in the world, there probably would be no wars either. Battles would be settled with cat fights or beach volleyball matches. Even disputes between countries would probably by settled in a much less violent way than missles, radio controlled drones, and anti-insurgent air strikes. There would be no Taliban, because there would be no men, and there would be no oppressed Afghani women for the same reason. Al-Queda would be a thing of the past.

There would be no fathers and sons, so there would be no fathers killing their sons over watching a football game, as shown in the accompanying video. Since the advent of science's abilty to impregnant a woman with the infusion of the nucleous from another cell into one of her eggs, men have become unneccessary for procreation, and really, I think women could get along fine in the world without men if they had to.

Probably since men are destroying their health, finances, cognitive functions, and displaying addictive behaviours by watching professional football on network television, eventually men will cause themselves to become extinct. No longer are men needed to support a family, or really, can anyone name ANY purpose that only can be accomplished by a man? Guys, think about it!!! If you continue on your current path, eventually our bones will be on display in museums right next to Tyranasaurus Rex. Young girls will be visiting the museums with their moms and saying "Mommy, is it true that once upon a time little girls had daddies?" and the mommy would say "Yes, Virginia, but now there is a no-daddy clause."

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7 comments

Sam Bartz profile image

Sam Bartz 2 years ago from Tallahassee, Florida

Is this piece satirical?


pocono foothills profile image

pocono foothills 2 years ago from Easton, Pennsylvania Author

@Sam Bartz-No, I'm dead serious. Network televised professional football is destroying America and the health of our nation.


pocono foothills profile image

pocono foothills 2 years ago from Easton, Pennsylvania Author

@Sam Bartz-Absolutely not. Network Televised Professional football is destroying America, American family values, and American's health.


Sam Bartz profile image

Sam Bartz 2 years ago from Tallahassee, Florida

All I can do is disagree with your opinion. You supplement your ideas with scientific research, but you make small correlations build into a negative generalization of a group of people that you obviously dislike. Not only are many of your arguments faulty, but the article is so outrageously biased that it's immediately a disengaging read.

Your last paragraph is particularly inflammatory. "No longer are men needed to support a family, or really, can anyone name ANY purpose that only can be accomplished by a man?" That's an incredibly sexist remark. You'll say I'm biased because I'm both a man and a fan of football, but I can't seriously consider any of your points because they're not only misguided, but offensive as well. I hope you can get to terms with the ill feelings you have towards men and sports, but I urge you to reconsider your unprofessional writing style.


pocono foothills profile image

pocono foothills 2 years ago from Easton, Pennsylvania Author

I don't have ill feelings toward men, nor sports. I watch football on TV, but only high shool and college football. Just as I am entitled to my opinion, you are also entitled to your opinion. My ultimate goal in life, is to be as offensive as possible. The more people I can offend the better, because when people are offended the read, and when they read the get upset, and we they get upset the comment. Comments are good!!!


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

It is the time of year again for all football lovers to sit for hours on end watching the games. I have to admit I've enjoyed a few but I do wish the commercials were geared to healthier food ads and entertainment options.


pocono foothills profile image

pocono foothills 2 years ago from Easton, Pennsylvania Author

@teaches12345-Thanks for the comment. It isn't just the football games, the commericals during Saturday morning cartoons are just as bad. Every year, we have a tailgate party for the Lafayette-Lehigh football game (which is the oldest college rivalry in America), and nobody really brings really BAD junk food. Most of it is fairly healthy. This year the game is it Yankee stadium in New York for the 150th anniversary of the event, so unfortunately we weren't able to get tickets for the game as they were sold out within minutes.

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