Top 10 Reasons why Baseball is Stupid
Top 10 Reasons why Baseball is Stupid
10. No repeated substitutions under any circumstances. Pro wrestling, which isn't even a sport, allows grapplers to reenter the ring should their tag-team partner fall victim to a flying scissor kick. Baseball is stupid because a pinch-hitter can only pinch-hit once a game. A team finds itself in many pinches throughout a game: the fans should get to see their best players more often.
9. The winning team in the All-Star game earns home field advantage for their league. Most of the players in the All-Star game won't get within 10 games of the World Series, yet they are made responsible for earning a huge advantage for their league. The World Series competitor with the best regular season record should earn the right to host the most Fall Classic games in their home ballpark.
8. Pete Rose still isn't in the Hall of Fame. Yes, he bet on baseball and lied about it for 20 years, until he needed to come clean just in time to publish his memoirs. Yes, he was suspended by the commissioner because evidence against him was overwhelming. On the other hand, he's the all-time leader in career base hits. Plenty of offensive players have been elected to the Hall: racists, drug users, heavy drinkers, and even Canadians. We love Canadians.
7. It takes too long to play a game. The time spent between pitches is practically sufficient to get elected to the Hall of Fame, unless you're Pete Rose. Batters step out of the box, adjust various body parts and equipment, then call time out, step back into the box, and dig a trench with their spikes. It's supposed to be hitting, not Dancing with the Stars.
6. Food costs too much. Attempting to recoup exorbitant salaries by jacking up the price of generic hot dogs will eventually come back to haunt major league teams. Hot dogs at 7-11 are 2 for a dollar: hot dogs inside the stadium break the bank.
5. No one spends any time in the minor leagues any more. Players are signed to immense salaries and immediately rushed to the big league club before they are anywhere near ready. Careers are stifled because players lose confidence and miss out on much needed coaching.
4. No one bunts any more. The third baseman can play in left field and guard the foul line without fear of having to charge the plate to scoop up a bunt. Bunting has fallen out of favor because it doesn't sell tickets or earn big contracts.
3. Steroids were permitted for far too long. Any fan with 1/2 a brain knew something was up when home run derby replaced many regularly scheduled major league games. The commissioner looked aside, thereby increasing the stupid quotient, when 2 players in the same season eclipsed a home run record that had stood for nearly 40 years.
2. The World Series is played when you can see your breath. World Series games should be played in a neutral location or in a temperature-controlled dome. Snow and baseball do not go together. Either shorten the stupid overly-long season or move the October games to temperate climates.
1. Umpires have too much subjective control. It's common knowledge that each umpire may have a different strike zone. Some pitchers get special consideration because they have demonstrated career success. Rookies sometimes suffer a smaller strike zone until they prove themselves, which is incredibly unfair and stupid. Computers can solve these problems. Tennis uses computers to check line calls: tennis serves travel faster than any pitcher who ever took the mound might dream of throwing.
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