Top Ten Weird Things About the World Cup Games
Okay so I watched a couple of the soccer games at the World Cup in South Africa. It's really different. First off, the sound of thousands of people blowing their vuvuzelas is really annoying. Second, I never thought I would ever use the word vuvuzela in a sentence. Third, reading that thousands of people are blowing vuvuzelas makes you think of a massive sexual orgy until you find out that it means people are just tooting their plastic horns.
Other than that I still don't understand the attraction of this game. Now, there are some pundits who have started to look for a deeper, psychological meaning as to why Americans don't love the game. Why people don't take it at face value that Americans find soccer boring, and have to look for a deeper meaning is perplexing. According to David Brooks of the New York Times, we're not resilient and neurotically creative enough to like soccer. Whatever. Leftists have pronounced that Americans are racists because we don't watch soccer. Huh? When did soccer become Barack Obama?
The only thing you can do is just shrug and ignore it, the games will end soon and the next one will be four years from now. It's what we've been doing for years and it seems to work. Here are my top ten weird things about this and any World Cup Games.
10. The players wear shorts but they look dorky.
9. There's continuous play, so there's no way to get a bathroom break or get a soda or get a snack.
8 .It's the only game where the score 1-0 is considered a decisive victory.
7. The soccer equivalent of the World Series only happens every four years.
6. The game can end at a tie and you still get to the next round.
5. You can leave at the beginning of the game with the score at 0-0 and you come back near the end of the game and it can still be 0-0.
4. Players pretend to act hurt so that the other team can get a penalty.
3. Everybody sweats but nobody scores.
2. It's more interesting to watch the fights breaking out at the stands instead of watching the game.
And at #1. It's a game that only foreigners play.
Don't Toot Your Vuvuzela in Yankee Stadium
An overenthusiastic fan tooted his vuvuzela one too many times and found himself ejected from the game. Don't bring a vuvuzela!
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