What Cheerleaders Are Thinking When They Are Not Cheering

"Did you see what happened to my boyfriend's class ring I had when we started that last cheer?"
"Did you see what happened to my boyfriend's class ring I had when we started that last cheer?" | Source
"Help! Fireants are crawling up my thighs!"
"Help! Fireants are crawling up my thighs!" | Source

Did you ever go out for cheerleader?

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Cheer leading at a glance

I am the first, without apology, to admit that being a cheerleader, female or male, is tough with a capital "T." Many uneducated males used to sit not only in judgement of male students who went out for the cheer-leading squad and went to the games for the sole reason of making fun of "this" guy who had more guts than these gawkers ever dreamed in having.

I don't know who said that cheer-leading was easy, but there is no other word besides "idiot," who had little enough sense to make such an asinine statement. Cheerleaders have to spend countless grueling hours of practice on campus and in cheerleader camps where professional trainers actually put these tough ladies "through the grinder," with intricate routines, jumping, somersault's, and the dangerous "pyramid building."

On top of the physical and mental disciplining involved for a girl or guy to be a cheerleader, there is a lot of personal sacrifice to be made on their parts. No more riding around, hanging out with friends whenever the urge hits. A person who has the dream of becoming a cheerleader had better be prepared for lots of painful sacrifice, tough disciplines and training and the ability to start over when defeat attacks even the most-dedicated cheerleader wannabe's.

No. Cheerleading is not for wimps.

"I hope people notice my flat tummy."
"I hope people notice my flat tummy." | Source
"How come Suzie always gets to talk over the P.A. system?"
"How come Suzie always gets to talk over the P.A. system?" | Source
"Doggone it! Our sponsor told us that it was the Fourth of July!"
"Doggone it! Our sponsor told us that it was the Fourth of July!" | Source
"Vidal Sassoon, you bite!"
"Vidal Sassoon, you bite!" | Source
"Ohh, Gennie, dearie. Hope you don't fall on your face. Hee, hee."
"Ohh, Gennie, dearie. Hope you don't fall on your face. Hee, hee." | Source
"Tom will love my selfie!"
"Tom will love my selfie!" | Source
"I really need to sneeze."
"I really need to sneeze." | Source
"Oops! Did I wear clean undies?"
"Oops! Did I wear clean undies?" | Source
"Gee, I hope that Dr. Tomson, the man I ran off with last week is not sitting in the audience."
"Gee, I hope that Dr. Tomson, the man I ran off with last week is not sitting in the audience." | Source
1972 Fort Worth Paschal High
1972 Fort Worth Paschal High | Source
"Well, they asked who wanted to take a nap and I raised my hand."
"Well, they asked who wanted to take a nap and I raised my hand." | Source
"What a time for my stomach to growl."
"What a time for my stomach to growl." | Source

I have one question

As it pertains to cheerleaders. Follow me a moment. When we watch them in person or on television cheering their hearts out for a team who has no chance of winning two out of ten games the entire season, but the cheer-leading squad go forward undaunted. I admire that.

But sometime in their time on the sidelines, there comes "a" time when they stand, sit, or lean against the chain-link fence (most schools have surrounding their football fields), and looks to me like these pretty cheerleaders are thinking. What? I do not know.

I do have several ideas. I call this list . . .

What Cheerleaders Are Thinking When They Are Not Cheering

Note: these thoughts are from male and female cheerleaders. Your job, if you want it, is to decide which gender had each thought.

  • "Dear God, please let Julie fall off our pyramid, but like, do not like her get hurt that much. Just like, let her get hurt enough so "I" can step up to head cheerleader."
  • "Now did I put on clean underwear after I showered or did I put my dirty ones back on?"
  • "I wish I knew what was pinching my butt each time Bruce lifts me into the air."
  • "I wish that Bruce would stop pinching my butt when he lifts me up. I think he thinks that I will be enamored by his confident moves and date him."
  • "I hate that guy sitting on row 12. He looks like an elderly Al Pacino."
  • "Is Chrissie for real, wearing fake eyelashes and nails? We all know that she likes girls. What is she trying to do? Trying to keep her being a lesbian a secret?"
  • "I wish this "game" were over so we could stop yelling these stupid cheers. The visiting team is slaughtering our guys so please, clock! Hurry up!"
  • "Uh, oh! There's my "ex" with that slut, Annie. Her name is written under more bridges and bathroom walls than any other slut in our school history."
  • "Annie and my "ex" are just made for each other."
  • "Now that I think of it, my "ex" sure looks good in flannel. I know that I could get him back with no trouble, but I am not stooping to Annie's cheap level."
  • "Does Margena think that all guys love looking at her butt? She is first to volunteer everytime we do the "cheerleader toss."
  • "I would kill for a slice of pizza and a cold beer."
  • "The cheerleaders for the opposite team all look like Playboy bunnies."
  • "Hey, one of those hotties is staring right at me. But that is natural. After all, I am "the" sexisest cheerleader on this squad."
  • "I wonder about that couple sitting in row 22. I think she cheats on her husband. Sure wish she would cheat with me."
  • "What's this? Overtime? The other team was kicking our butts! Comeback? What comeback?"
  • "I wish that man standing at the fence would stop ogling me and licking his lips."
  • "I hate every girl on this squad. Just because they all went on a "group diet" and lost a lot of weight that makes them hotter than me? Noooo way."
  • "I wonder how my life would have been if I had begged my mom to let me go out for majorette."
  • "Hey, where did Annie the slut get off to? My "ex" is sitting by himself and he looks so lonely."
  • "Whatttt? Game over! We won! Hmmm, wonder if my "ex" would drive me home?"
  • "This turned out to be an awesome night."


"Hip! Hip! Hooo-Ray

for ALL cheerleaders in and out of my following."

Sincerely,

Kenneth

Cheerleaders were once celebrated on the big stage

© 2016 Kenneth Avery

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Comments 6 comments

Sneha Sunny profile image

Sneha Sunny 6 months ago from India

haha... this was funny! I loved the '40s performance. Cheerleading is sure not an easy job.


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 6 months ago

Very funny, Dear Kenneth, and I loved the 1940s video. I have to say that there were really a lot of GOOD female performers in the 1940s. Women were given a chance to shine while the boys were overseas fighting in the Pacific or in Europe. Too bad they got sent home to be "put back in their place when the war was over". Enuff said about that era.

If you really want to know what the cheerleaders think in their off time, check out Jodah's hub in today's feed, but substitute "men" for "women". Yeah, this was just as funny as all git out, my fine friend.

Love,

Miz B


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 6 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Sneha Sunny,

Thank you so very much for the nice words.

You, my friend, are very appreciated.

Stop by anytime.

Peace.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 6 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, MizBejabbers,

What a great comment you left! Thank you. I thought that the 40's video might be a hit with my followers. At any rate it was a change of pace.

And I will check the hub that Jodah wrote when time affords it.

He is also one of my friends and followers.

Listen, sweet Miz B., you have a safe and happy week ahead.

Kenneth


Suhail and my dog profile image

Suhail and my dog 6 months ago from Mississauga, ON

I always knew that cheerleading was not for wimps!

I remember that in an executive management games, we were required to compete with other executive teams on events that included cheerleading. We had to practice for few hours to present a simple routine and our day was made by one particular lady who knew cartwheeling and somersaulting in the air. We capitalized on her skills to get us through and win the competition. Our skills were basically to finish our routine just in time to let he come from behind a divided line o us players cartwheeling and finishing the job with a somersault. I still remember her name - Nadia (last name held on purpose).

I was at some cheerleading practice sessions and I think most girls that I knew either wanted to be dancers or gymnasts or both.

I enjoyed visiting my past through your hub, Ken. Thanks for writing.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 6 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Suhail and my dog,

Wow! Your comment would make a great hub, my friend.

Cheerleading used in executive management games? Never heard of that one, but so glad that you shared it.

And thanks so much for being my friend/follower over the years.

Peace, my friend.

Kenneth

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