Hobo Stew for the Cub Scout Soul
I love to eat
Try to picture this if you are one of these urban upstarts who has a Beemer in the parking garage and a wine rack that reads like a tour guide of the California wine country. You can’t. So skip this Hub and get back to the stock market pages.
If you are a connesuirre of greasy cuisine and a magic chef of treble clef, read on. I am announcing the end to all your outdoor food needs. This is the one recipe that will help you survive the rain that falls only when you are at your camp site later than expected. You know the kind I mean? The cold misty kind that doesn’t really get you wet, just sniffley. The kind that falls on October Friday nights when everyone you know is curled up with a hot toddy and a gas fire place while you are trying to ignite fun into the bellies of ten eleven year old kids.
What is this gift of the Scouting Magi? Whopatuli!! You may have seen it spelled differently; and you may have even eaten it yourself. If so, you have experienced the ambrosia of the gods. You have prayed to the angel band of acid reflux. Here is the be all and end all recipe for the only thing that rats won’t eat and boys will die for.
One Big, and I mean Paul Bunyan Big, pot. Grease stains are allowed, as that which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
One Giant stir stick. A garden rake works well. An oak limb adds flavor. Stay away from processed wood. It sucks up the Whopatuli color.
One good sized campfire. Big enough to roast a small tiger. And I don’t mean scout.
One can of CHEAP soup for each boy in the troop, den, whatever.
NO Cream soups please.
Tomato, tomato basil, chicken, beef, beef noodle, catfish, chicken with stars, chicken without stars, you name it. The easiest way to decide what to get is to search the food store and see what is on sale 20 for a dollar and go from there.
Noodles to taste, usually about a pound per boy. One box rice. I’ve heard rumors of tapioca, but don’t quote me.
Half a loaf of bread per boy. Stale if possible, as it absorbs better. What you don’t eat at supper, you can use for French toast the next day. The bread, not the Whopatuli.
Heat pot with lake water if possible, of course now a days, clean water probably tastes better. Either way, skim the slime off the top of the water before boiling. Slimy water makes the aluminum pots turn green. If the Cub master drinks some water and he doesn’t drop dead, you’re safe. If he does, Pizza hut delivers late.
Open cans of soup.
Each boy walks by the pot, pours the soup in without dropping the can - no extra flavor needed here. As he walks by he yells “Whopatuli!!” three times.
Four yells makes Whopatuli a little too salty for my liking.
Cook until the stir stick dissolves or the Whopatuli is nice and hot. A good temperature gauge is a Bear’s big toe.
Serve, sit and enjoy.
The laughter, the stories, the fooling around, the songs. Do not burp too loudly. It disturbs the Snipes. That’s for another Hub.
it's time to eat
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could he have been a cub master
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