funny football quotes 1

"Ow, that really hurts! I want my Mommy!"

-Little Tommy Drash, age 10, after being stung by a bee while sitting on the bench eating an orange slice.


"You can't catch the ball if you're making passes at the cheerleaders."

-Coach Dirk McToughness to Prima Donna wide received John Chadson after he dropped pass in the end zone.


"No, that pad is supposed to cover your coccyx ."

-Long time equipment manager Studs O'Malley while helping the rookies dress during training camp.


"And the hits just keep on coming."

-Quarterback Art Starr, after getting sacked for the 10th time in a game.


"This was much easier in practice."

-Offensive Tackle Kerry Kramer, after being steamrolled by Hall of Fame nose tackles in consecutive games.


"Even if this a shotgun formation, we don't bring guns onto the field ."

-Quarterback Walter Williams to his slightly overprotective offensive line.


"It's sudden death time. Bring out your dead!"

-Long-time Monty Python fan and kick returner Kevin Hester.


"No boys, that's not what a Pooch Kick means."

-Anonymous Pee Wee league coach.


"The game was so boring it should be remembered as the Stupor Bowl."

-Hall of Fame announcer Marty Brennehan


"We ended the season a really good 1-15. We were the best team to lose 15 games I've ever coached."

Hall of Fame Coach Dirk McToughness commenting on his first season in the league.

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