How Jack Nicholson and I Revenged the Loss of Los Angeles Lakers

Hellboy subduing Kevin Garnett: preview of what will happen on the 2009 NBA Finals

Have you ever hated a movie character so much that you wanted to beat him up with a baseball bat? Watch me and Jack Nicholson punish Semi-pro for his bad performance, but before that Jack and I take revenge for the recent Lakers loss from Boston Celtics.

Hellboy and Hancock--the best offensive firepower duo ever

After the final Game 6 victory of Boston Celtics over LA Lakers, I—as one of the millions disappointed Lakers fans—couldn’t wait passively any longer for my favorite to become NBA champion. So, I decided to show coach Jackson and NBA how to assemble and enable a dream team. After all, we Angelenos, are proud people with lots of connections and great potential—for us, Hollywood, and Jack Nicholson anything’s possible. I wanted to bring the greatest come back of Los Angeles Lakers (this time under the name of LA Lakers Dream Team)—an institution that represents the great lakes and the mighty LA river of Los Angeles.

Iron Man and Wall.e -- no Lakers fan dreamed of such remarkable defensive pair

At TD Banknorth Garden sports arena after Lakers lost, I managed to push my way through the crowd and hand Jack Nicholson (he was there but disguised as a Celtics fan) my grand plan that I carefully put into writing during the 4th quarter of the game. Apparently Jack was impressed—he immediately called and we discussed how he could use his Hollywood connections in service of the new super LA team.

I give Jack Nicholson my plan for LA Dream Team. Nicholson is disguised as a Celtics fan.

I managed to push my way through and sit next to Nicholson just before the Game 6 ended fatally for Lakers.
I managed to push my way through and sit next to Nicholson just before the Game 6 ended fatally for Lakers.

Jack helped us sign the Hollywood’s hottest—Hancock, Iron Man, and the robot Wall∙e. When Hellboy heard the news of a super-hero LA dream team being brought together, he applied and we signed him too. We were stunned, though, when the Semi-Pro came begging us to take him in the team. He thought that his name automatically made him the right candidate for our team.

Semi-pro made Jack and me so angry that we took him in the locker room and beat him up with baseball bats.

Jack and I beating up the Semi-pro who had the nerve to ask for an offensive position in our professional team

The only problem I had as a manager of the new LA Lakers team was that Jack wanted me to put him on the team. I said to myself, “Well, as long as he stays away from the ball… Plus I don’t want him whining around the bench and making faces like he usually does. It’s better to keep him busy inside the game.”

Jack in action after I let him in. How could I say no--look at his face. It's nothing like in Boston.

Anyway, there’s no basketball team in the world that could beat us. The Western Conference is in panic already—they know no team has a chance against us. Boston Celtics, we’ll eat you for breakfast this time, with peanut butter and jelly.

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Comments 9 comments

Agro Donkey  8 years ago

I'm just glad that you had the good sense to not keep Mr. Bryant on the pay role. Can you say choke? Very funny hub and great work as always.

rainmakerrain profile image

rainmakerrain 8 years ago from United States Author

Thanks - Bryant won't do a better job than the handless robot Wall-.e for sure. I had fun myself making this hub, especially the part with Semi-pro: Don't waste time watching this movie- I asked for my money back at Blockbuster, but they said I should ask the makers of the movie or Will Ferrell.

Agro Donkey 8 years ago from Ohio

You should have know it was going to suck. It has Will Ferrel in it. Besides forget the money what about the hour and a half that you can never get back. It's the same thing with the Butterfly effect.

rainmakerrain profile image

rainmakerrain 8 years ago from United States Author

I didn't see the whole movie - just the beginning, which was enough. It's hard to find good movies these days. And you're right Butterfly Effect is one of the worst ever.

Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California

Funny hub, pictures are fantastic. And I agree on the Butterfly Effect. I haven't bothered with SemiPro. Just can't get motivated to watch that one.

dutch84 profile image

dutch84 8 years ago

You're either a genius or insane!!

This is hilarious.

rainmakerrain profile image

rainmakerrain 8 years ago from United States Author

Thank you Shadesbreath and Duch84 for your comments. Duch84, do you think if I was completely sane I'd make you laugh:-) I'm planning to post more of these, so stay tuned.

ERock386 profile image

ERock386 8 years ago

Good stuff.

I agree about Semi-Pro. Extremely anti-climactic. Will Ferrell is a rich man's Rob Schneider- much better as the second guy, but so many horrible moveis as the leading role.

how to increase vertical 7 years ago

I do agree with this.. You keep rocking... Thanks for the excellent Hub!... keep going on with the good process....

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