10 Uses For Men's New or Used Underwear

Men's briefs: Very handy and valuable

Source

Did you know that when two men are truly equal is the time they stand face-to-face in their underwear. No pretense. No put-on. All is real and open for each other to see.


Many is the time that thoughts like this surface in my cluttered-mind and I am learning to just write them down, for someday, like today, they might prove valuable.

And the truth is, I have written pieces for and about the ladies a lot lately, so I think it's time for me to write something for us guys. An important piece. A timely-piece and a piece worth the remembering.

Men: When you rose this morning, and you were dressing for the day, did it occur to you just how valuable your underwear briefs (or boxers) were? Of course not. You, like everyone on earth, had your mind on business, the stock market, my birthday, Nov. 27, or just watching ESPN because it was Saturday.

If you had only known. And realized that the very briefs you were wearing were not just the same briefs you wore Friday, but your briefs were the most-important article of clothing you possess.

I am not knocking socks, shoes, or caps. They have their place. I just find it amazing that men have worn briefs for eons and have yet to realize their importance.

Legendary boxer, Jack Johnson, in his prototype boxer briefs

Source

Legendary singer, actor, Mark Wahlberg, made millions promoting underwear

Source

Guys, I hate to hurt your feelings, but to you, all of this time, you just took your Christmas gift, a pack of underwear, looked at the tag to see what Brand they were, and acted like you loved them.


Something to think about. Sure you are a man on the go, a go-getter, an ambitious junior partner in your ad agency, and you never even let the thought of your underwear invade your mind. How shameful. Wearing underwear, either boxers or briefs, are purely, to-the-core, American, buddy. Our military forces all wear underwear and are proud to do that for us. So you need to adjust your "undies ethics," and today.

Men's briefs come in a number of colors

Source

More images of men and underwear

Some guys love their underwear so much, they have given up pants
Some guys love their underwear so much, they have given up pants | Source
Pal, you can look cool too if you will just wear shades and underwear while shaving
Pal, you can look cool too if you will just wear shades and underwear while shaving | Source
Nothing cooler than a pair of colorful underwear
Nothing cooler than a pair of colorful underwear | Source
That's it, friend. Cool off in the beach shower while sporting your new underwear
That's it, friend. Cool off in the beach shower while sporting your new underwear | Source
Hey, guy! Don't fret. Your girlfriend will not peek at your red underwear
Hey, guy! Don't fret. Your girlfriend will not peek at your red underwear | Source
That's it, guy. Enjoy an apple while your pants are drying. You are well-covered in your stylish underwear
That's it, guy. Enjoy an apple while your pants are drying. You are well-covered in your stylish underwear | Source

Okay, guys

I am settled-down. And I apologize for any rash words or thoughts that may have left my lips.

By way of introduction, just let me say this: I find it appalling that a man of your high-station, power, popularity and income would have underwear at the top of your "Top Priority List." But I am a civil-minded man. I will give you a break this time while I reload my next thought-process and ask you, "Sir, did you know that I have found some valuable documents that were sealed-up and hidden for 22 years and they are very explicit in their content.

These series of complex documents reveal a sensitive-but-valuable set of ideas called . . .

"10 Things You Can Do With a Pair of Men's Underwear,"

and if you are serious about survival and always being prepared as well as "having one up your sleeve," then read this story and know that "now," are a well-prepared man.

  • Use them as a dusting rag if you should run-out at the most-inopportune time--such as when your girlfriend's parents are coming by for a short-visit. Men's underwear are perfect for dusting anything in your apartment. Do not worry. You will be okay.
  • Wearing your underwear on your head at a wild party, although you are not "high" or drunk, "will" make you look foolish, but you will be able to "steal the show," by the laughs you get that means a few hot girls will drift your way just to see what man was brave enough to wear his underwear on his head.
  • If you are a secret agent, and you need to keep someone quiet, do not use a knife, gun, or any device that will cause bloodshed . . .soak your underwear in Chloroform and sneak up from behind (to the person you want to keep quiet) and place the underwear over his or her nose and bam! You are so successful that you might get a hefty raise for your the espionage you engineered.
  • Cut two holes in the backside of the underwear and wear them as a Halloween mask: "The Fruit of The Loom Fairy." People will love it.
  • If you fold a pair of men's underwear just the right way, they will pass for an elegant man's handkerchief in an expensive suit worn for evening events.
  • If you are trapped alone in a deserted rural area in Georgia, your underwear can be used to cool your face. Just find a creek or river, soak your Hanes underwear through and through and place the wet underwear over your forehead and rest.
  • If you are in the big city and thugs steal the gas cap from your car, quickly remove your underwear and stick them into the gasoline tank where your gas cap once was. You have saved a good part of the air that we breathe by this quick-thinking.
  • Men's underwear, no matter the brand, make great cloths to wash your windshield or the windshield of a friend. But do not be alarmed if some smart alec's make good sport of you when they see you washing windshields with men's underwear.
  • In some emergencies . . .men's underwear can be given to some hapless young woman whose underwear was stolen by women's underwear burglars, and she can wear your underwear until she gets to her home and can put on her own underwear.
  • If you are in a tight spot and a gang of troublemakers are about to "take you apart," find yourself a good rock, place It inside your underwear (that you have taken-off) and by slinging it around and around, you can hit each bully on or near the head and before you know it, people will be calling you Chuck Norris, who by the way, advocates the wearing of underwear at all times.

So, guys, live happy with the knowledge that "I" have you "covered."


More by this Author


Comments 12 comments

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 2 years ago

Kenneth,

1. I have always used hubbies old underwear or socks for dusting cloths.

2. Substitute “stupid” for “brave” and you’ve go it!

3. You probably won’t need chloroform for this task.

I think that’s enough said.

Didja know that a health-supply catalog carries a “flatulence filter” for people to put in the back of their underwear? It is a liner-shaped pad containing charcoal and is unisex (although you know we women don’t need it because we don’t have flatulence). I asked Mr. B if he was going to order some for himself, and he assured me he didn’t need one, after he finished fah-ting, that is. I guess you could google “flatulence filter” for more information.

Anyway, after he finished googling flatulence filter, he said that he found a website that said a person should always put on their socks before they put on their underwear to prevent transferring a yeast infection from their feet to their well, you know where.

Anyway, I just gave you two thought-provoking ideas for new hubs – for free! Voted up and funny.


MJennifer profile image

MJennifer 2 years ago from Arizona

Kenneth, this was just a great read. I loved how you introduced your list of uses for underwear … great style.

As for me, I've found that men's underwear -- especially the well-worn soft cotton variety -- makes the best cloth for putting a military spit-shine on boots (or otherwise polishing leather goods). As for my husband, he'll never miss that pair. He'll probably think it's still heaped in the pile of clothes awaiting laundering.

Best -- Mj


moonlake profile image

moonlake 2 years ago from America

My husband’s underwear ends magically laundered in his drawer. He never knows when one pair is gone. He will wear them until the waistband is no longer holding them up. I make sure they disappear. I have used them for cleaning and I have also worn my husband's underwear. I do all the packing and with him always telling me not to forget this and that of his, he’s never without anything when we travel, but I have forgotten to pack my own underwear and had to wear his until we can get to a store. In the wintertime his underwear are a lot warmer than mine. Men are lucky they get flannel underwear.

Enjoyed your hub voted up.


Trish_M profile image

Trish_M 2 years ago from The English Midlands

Hi :)

I'm pretty sure that wearing underwear isn't just an American thing :)

But your saying that, Kenneth, reminded me of a friend who told us about a visit he made to the USA. He put on his swimming trunks and went down to the pool. Within minutes, he could hear people tutting and laughing about a man who had forgotten his swimwear and was at the pool in his undies. He looked around for this hapless chap, only to discover that it was himself. Apparently men in America don't wear the same kind of swim briefs as men in Britain.

Interestingly, my boys preferred to wear swim shorts to trunks, but when we went on holiday to Spain and France, some pools would not allow them in. Only briefs were permitted - no swim-shorts.

Such small items of clothing to be of such importance.


cecileportilla profile image

cecileportilla 2 years ago from West Orange, New Jersey

Great hub Kenneth! So glad that I don't have use for men's underwear. Will get my hubby and son to read this. They will certainly enjoy it as much as I did.


Lisa Keatts profile image

Lisa Keatts 2 years ago from Virginia

Loved this! I have always used my husband's old undies for dusting but never considered how they could be used in other ways. Very entertaining!!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Lisa,

Thanks for the sweet commnets on this hub.

I did not even scratch the surface. e.g. New men's underwear elastic can be stretched enough to make a sling-shot if you are into survival tips. A weapon to kill food if you cannot find plants to sustain you.

Me? I am not into killing animals or any living thing, but then again, I am not into starving either.

Thanks, sweet friend for your input and come back again.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, MizBeJabbers,

Very interesting comments. Filters for human gas? Wow. What will they think of next, an odorless personalized potty for lazy guys to do their business, just when they are alone at home, certainly not in a crowd.

For fun, I might do a hub on this new invention. Thanks.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, MJennifier,

What an interesting analogy about men's underwear, but now I find one common thread (bad pun, sorry) in most of these comments: Dusting with men's worn-out underwear.

As the comic Sinbad said, "when underwear will barely hang on us, that is when they are just broken-in."

Who would have thought that long johns would have evolved into men's briefs?

What a history.

Thanks for your comment. I loved it.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, moonlake,

Thanks for your comment and may I be bold now? Your husband so blessed to have you pack and never forget his underwear, so why don't you teach him to never forget your underwear?

Nice idea, huh?

Anyway. You are a pleasure to me as a friend and follower.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Trish :)

Thank you for the intelligent comment. I never knew that British and American swimming trunks were different. What does it matter whose looks best as long as they keep us covered.

I enjoyed the story about the guy in the pool. I can see him looking all around to see what the commotion is about. And it was him.

LOL.

Come back and visit anytime you like.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Lisa,

You are very sweet to leave such a warm comment. Oh yes, dear. Men's underwear are also useful in military operations to blindfold the captured enemy soldiers. Or to tie their hands with the elastic.

Actually, and I could get in trouble for telling you this, but men's underwear are all monitored by the C.I.A. for they are in reality, secret weapons in case we are invaded.

Shhhhh.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working