5 Gross Things That Women Wear
(Warning: Don't listen to me. I am a weird guy and don't have average tastes. Most men probably like this stuff [or at least they say they do], so by all means continue to wear these things for their benefit. It just won't impress me, that's all.)
It's really not my place to talk about fashion, but someone, somewhere has to agree: There are a number of articles of clothing, footwear, and cosmetics that are horrendously popular in spite of the fact that they make women look displeasing to the eye or just downright gross-looking. Who in their right mind, really, invented these things and thought them to be sexy or attractive?
And why does it seem like I'm the only one who thinks these things?
1 - Shirts with a really low neckline, so that a girl's cleavage is blatantly exposed
Shirts that just have, by default, a really low neckline that exposes nearly everything makes a girl look a little too indiscriminate about who glances at her goods, but, more importantly, cleavage of the chest (or any kind of cleavage, really) looks too much like a plumber's crack. Am I the only one? When I see two chest mounds squished together in a tiny blouse, it just makes me think that I'm looking at two long, sagging bum cheeks pressed against each other.
This is different from "accidental" chest exposure; this is when a girl wears a shirt that covers her assets, but she accidentally flashes you some when she leans over to pick something up. In such a case, anything from partial to full exposure is acceptable, so long as it was either an accident or it was on purpose, but only meant for one person to see. It doesn't seem like sleazy or attention-seeking behavior that way and, again more importantly, they're not squished together so they don't look like a butt crack.
Also better than cleavage is just normal, full exposure. Just don't wear a shirt at all if you want us to see what you have, ladies. It's okay: Men do it all the time. Enough with the fake coyness--just go shirtless.
2 - Thong underwear / thong bikinis
I must be out of my mind, because I don't know why anyone would find these things attractive on someone, but everyone else seems to love them. Maybe I'm OCD, because the first thing I think of when I see a string threaded between someone's nether cheeks is...
"I hope she wipes thoroughly."
Does no one else think thong underwear is gross and possibly unsanitary? Is there anyone else who can't help but get mental images of said underwear rubbing all over the girl's unkempt exit hole? Please, Jesus, let me not be the only one!
3 - Really High Heels
Especially the ones with toe-cleavage, for reasons outlined above (It looks like a butt...on your toes.).
But what's so gross about high heels?
It's not all high heels, only the very tall ones and the ones that exist for the sole purpose of sex appeal.
It's not so much that they're gross, it's just that they make no sense. It looks really hard to walk in them. I've seen women who are unused to them stumbling around. How is that sexy? High heels make a girl seem like she's trying too hard to look alluring, to the extent that she's willing to put her life in danger and her feet in perpetual discomfort. Having to wear Dr. Scholl's corn remover is not attractive.
Stop it. Wear sandals.
4 - Jeans/Pants so tight that her butt/waist spills over the sides
When pants, jeans in particular, are so tight that they're squeezing flesh up and over the waistline, it just looks like an overstuffed tube of toothpaste, and seems like the pants themselves are disrespecting the girl's body and calling her too big for them.
Wearing something like that implies that the girl has something to show us, but is not brave enough to do so in a blatant manner. It's cowardly.
Just don't wear pants if your pants are so tight that we can see the outline of everything in them anyway. Just walk around naked. It's okay; I don't mind.
5 - Makeup and Strong Perfume
Why should a girl hide her face? If you're going to know her for any substantial length of time, you're going to see it anyway, and it often looks better natural.
Girls just shouldn't wear makeup at all. It looks artificial and when you're close to her face, it smells funny.
And speaking of funny smells...
Almost all kinds of perfume are too strong and cover up a girls natural feminine smell. I think more people can agree with me here: Men have a gross, strong smell--just the fact that women have a much fainter scent in and of itself is instantly appealing. If she covers up the faint scent of womanliness with something that makes your scent glands explode from chemical exposure, then she's sabotaging her own powers of seduction.
So what do you say? Am I the only one? Really? Yeah, I thought so.
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