A Guys Birdseye View at a Lingerie Party

Tupperware Parties

I grew up hearing about things like Tupperware parties. My mother would attend, and come home with some colorful soft plastic food storage containers. I tried desperately to imagine a party going on around these bowls. Perhaps the hostess had made some Chex Mix and served it in the Tupperware. I just couldn’t picture it. I asked if I could go with her and was told this was not a party for kids. This left me wondering for years about those parties.

Your mothers tupperware
Your mothers tupperware
Mmmm. Smells good too
Mmmm. Smells good too

PartyLite

When my wife and I got married, we moved to Olympia WA. We got a nice apartment in a large complex. One day the girls in the main office of the apartment complex invited her to a PartyLite party. My wife attended, and came home with one pillar candle. When asked why she did not come home with a bunch of candles, she told me the price. Ouch, for one candle? Oh yes, but these are good quality candles that burn slowly and evenly. And it smells so good!

Lots of ways to make $$$ in your spare time

Now my wife has tried all sorts of get rich easy schemes. Her mom bought her one of those buy and sell real-estate with no money out of pocket courses. Thank god she did not go any further than watching one of the tapes. Many people lost their own homes trying that scheme.

Her sister got her into Amway. She refused to go talk people at the mall into joining her pyramid scheme so did not make it very far. But we did get a case of cereal at a bargain price out of that deal. She even tried her hand at blogging for adsensation revenues. The jury is still out on that one.

A Party

One day my wife told me that she was going to throw a party. I got excited. Then curious, then confused. What kind of party? A party for who? “Oh just me and the girls” she said. “What girls?” (we have two daughters). Just me and some of the girls, more like a girls night in. It's a money maker. "Oh...OK."

With lots of Booze
With lots of Booze

Would I have to do anything? I was expected to make some of the refreshments. Chicken Wellington in appetizer size, and of course my famous Chocolate Covered Boozey Cherries. I would also be responsible for helping to clean the house. "Yes dear". I need not ask if I was invited.

So when the night in question arrived, my duty was to get the kids to bed and stay out of the way. After a few hours they girls had a bit too much to drink and were getting loud. I wanted to creep down and sneak a peek, but knew I would get the cold bed for months to come if I got caught. So I behaved and let my mind imagine what could be going on down stairs.

The 7 Veils of Earthly Delights

A little while later my wife called up to me. She asked if I knew where any of the cameras were. The only one I had was a little digital. Didn’t know where the 35mm was. I yelled down to be heard over the loud talk and loud music, “I found it”. She yelled up “Well bring it down”. The tone in her voice was like, come on dummy. What I found when I came down was not my mothers tuperwear party.

Damn, my finger was covering the lens.
Damn, my finger was covering the lens.

They were all drunk as thieves and strutting their stuff in the merchandise. These were not your mothers nightgowns either. My wife had wanted the camera because they were arguing whether or not Jen looked like Drew Barrymore. Looking at Jen, who was topless, I stuttered, "Ah um, yeah, she kinda does". My wife giggled and took the camera from me. She had never used it before and was too drunk to figure it out. She waved it wildly in my face and said "I can't work this damned thing. Take a picture of Jen." I stood there with my mouth open waiting for the flies to come in. "Ahhh, OK." The flash went off and some of the girls yelled "Whooooohooooo". Someone turned the music up.

The girls were getting wild. One of them said "I wanna picture, get me". Some one else shouted "Fashion Shoot" to which there was much giggling and cheers.

Carmin

Carmin Was next
Carmin Was next

Girls got wild

At this point the girls were falling all over themselves to be photographed and were egging each other on. Carmin was told to take it all off and did. Luck for me I got this pic.

Carmin Totaly Naked

Canon PowerShot SD1100IS 8MP Digital Camera with 3x Optical Image Stabilized Zoom (Blue) (OLD MODEL)
Canon PowerShot SD1100IS 8MP Digital Camera with 3x Optical Image Stabilized Zoom (Blue) (OLD MODEL)

A must have for those moments you need a picture, just remember to keep your thumb off the lenz. Quality Pictures. Dont get pics like the one on the right, get a cannon.

 
Transcend 4 GB Class 6 SDHC Flash Memory Card TS4GSDHC6E
Transcend 4 GB Class 6 SDHC Flash Memory Card TS4GSDHC6E

enough memory for all those shots, in an SD card that holds up.

 

Bambi

I was having fun with this. The music pumping, the girls giggling and falling down drunk. Bamby tripped over the cat and fell laughing on the couch. Bambi was wearing the classic French Maid outfit. Made from imported oriental silk and the finest handmade french lace, the G-String really set this one off. Nothing says "clean house" like a G-String.

Bambi in a G-String
Bambi in a G-String

Pam

The Wild Forest Collection

Next up was Pam. She is a lawyer. I have never seen any of these women so loose. Pam was wearing a Teddy from the Wild Forest Collection- For the naturally exuberant look this spring, lace overlays in a wild mix of tropical greenery and fern-like leaves are classicized in a sophisticated neutral pattern of taupe and black. This was the most tasteful item in the catalogue. Before the night was over she bought 4 pairs of these. It did little to hide anything in the lower regions as you can tell from this pic.

Bridgette

Briggette struggled out of her negligee.  It was much too tight.
Briggette struggled out of her negligee. It was much too tight.

Things were steaming up!

Bridgette couldn't find anything that would fit. She peeled off her pink negligee from the Couture Collection. A soft pink Lace Vision Collection With inspiration from the 1920s, this lace and satin collection is sultry and ultimately provocative. Shimmering crystals draw the eye to the body, where unadulterated glamour and intrigue seduce and captivate the one adorned into a world of primitive sensuality.

After struggling out of this much too small negligee, her lower lip pouted out and she said, I don't have anything pretty to wear. "Oh no Bridgette, you look beautiful"

All good things come to an end

The girls bought lots of sheer, silk satin and lace. My wife got enough money to buy the all of the items she wanted in the catalogue. As I surveyed the room, a pair of leopard panties dangling from the chandelier, my wife asked if I thought the party a success. "Yes honey, that was quite the party". She smiled and said we would have to do another one next year!

Lingerie Party

If you had a Lingerie Party, would you:

  • Buy your own product
  • Let your husband attend
  • Fire the photographer who took these pictures
See results without voting

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Comments 61 comments

Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 7 years ago from Cornwall

Guys are not allowed at these parties, It's just not right ...lol haha


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

This was great. Marvelously executed. An erotic fantasy cleverly delivered. Now, show us the real pictures...


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Great story and yer not only a poor proofreader and editor yer a rotten scoundrel of photographer too. LOL thumb over lens my ass.


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

Hawkesdream- The times they are a changin

Christoph- Ahhh, I burned the negatives at my wife's request....

CC- We need a new photographer for next years party, perhaps you could fill in. But you would have to keep your thumb off the @,... I mean lens.


scottaye73 profile image

scottaye73 7 years ago from Michigan, USA

I like the way this was written...great story.


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States

My, what I've been missing. Ah well. Maybe I'll organize a fishing tackle party!


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

scottaye,- Thanks for the comment, much appreciated.

Tom- Perhaps you would like to invite Bambi, she likes cleaning fish.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

that was great and seems you know a bit about nighties too :O) how was the chicken wellington...and the choco cherries look good too, I am thinking you may have double dipped them ....I mean double loaded them...I mean made them too strong... :O) Hugs


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

G-Ma- I love bamboozling with my boozy cherries ;)


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Pm, I do hope that you knew I was just funnin' ya now. this is a great turd dropped here for us. Now I'm going to reread and see if ya fixed any errors. hehe


dianacharles profile image

dianacharles 7 years ago from India

Aaaaah...I just learned the lingerie language of bamboozling.....

'For the naturally exuberant look this spring, lace overlays in a wild mix of tropical greenery and fern-like leaves are classicized in a sophisticated neutral pattern of taupe and black.' sighhhhhh...

loved the hub....and the pix even more.


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

CC- you are always good to go no matter what ;)

dianacharles- glad you made it to the fashion show, though from the pics, still don't know if it's quite the hot lineup this spring.


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

CC- you just stopped by again in hopes that my thumb slipped off the lens.  Shame on you so early in the morning.  I hope I fixed all of those little devils.  I was so ashamed had to change my avatar. (just kidding) Feel free to call me on anything you see.  Much appreciated sir. ;)


dclucker 7 years ago

great piece


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

Glad you enjoyed it. I learn how to use that camera some day!


quit smoking info 7 years ago

whover that asian chick is ,she is looking really hot


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

That is my wife's friend Carmin. As you can see in the totally nude pic, she was drunk as a skunk.


kbdunn profile image

kbdunn 7 years ago from Seattle, WA

wow crazy hub. :)


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

It was a crazy night ;)


R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

Gotta love those crazy nights...nice hub!!


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

Thanks R.Blue :)


Amy G 7 years ago

lol! Great hub! I had to look because I've been to a few of these parties, and I had to laugh because... no matter what parts of it may have been embelished, that's really how some of them go! (Minus the camera toting hubby.) Well, at least - I don't think there was one there... hmmm.

Thanks for the read!


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

definitely fire the photographer


Frieda Babbley profile image

Frieda Babbley 7 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

And people wonder why I fly over walls.


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

That you Amy G? Weren’t you the one in the racy Black ribbed cami & pant set with the yellow reflective stripes down the side?

goldentoad- I would, but then what fun would I have next year? Perhaps I could fix them with photo studio!

FB- I thought I recognized those legs. ;)


men are dorks profile image

men are dorks 7 years ago from Namibia

I'm gonna pretend to be a gal at the very next party here, and take e few pics too... no blurring or editing either.


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

MAD- good luck filling out the lingerie, perhaps it would be safe if you got one of those big long flannel nighties, then maybe you wouldn't "raise" any suspicion.


WhiskeyChick profile image

WhiskeyChick 7 years ago from North of Somewhere

MAD, I don't think you get away with bein a girl.

Paper moon, now where can I order the "pink negligee from the Couture Collection. a soft pink Lace Vision Collection With inspiration from the 1920s" I'm thinkin it may inspire Me ;)


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

WhiskeyChick- You will have to come to the next party. ;)


annona mouse 7 years ago

I was there, ut no one say me, lol Just_Rodney


karmadir 7 years ago

Quite interesting story,only dissapointing factor is we couldn't see their pictures.


men are dorks profile image

men are dorks 7 years ago from Namibia

I think i'll go through as a gal. But i'll "strap" myself in yeah and perhaps a chastity belt too. I dont wanna waiver any coz you might go broke here.... haha


C.Ferreira profile image

C.Ferreira 7 years ago from Rutland, VT

Sounds like you are a lucky man! I have had no experience with a lingerie party, but I have heard many-a-story about some other kind of forbidden party. The kind where women go toy-shopping!

Good Hub...very entertaining!


i l u 7 years ago

fxdbgch


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

annona mouse- Say what?

karmadir- Oh you can see the pictures, it's just that they are not good ones. LOL

MAD- Hmmmm.

C.Ferreia- Thanks for checking out the hub.

ilu- fxdbgch back atcha. i think. :{0>


Mrvoodoo profile image

Mrvoodoo 7 years ago from ?

I always suspected that Tupperware party was code for something else.  Great hub and great pics (well some of them anyway).

And Carmin is stunning, I want an invite to the next party :)


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

Mrvoodo- only if you will model the new G-2 garterbelt.


raiderfan profile image

raiderfan 7 years ago from Arizona

dude invited me over next time!


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

sounds sweet. :)


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

did I tell you I am jealous. hehe dam! lucky feller


Laughing Mom profile image

Laughing Mom 7 years ago

I'm with Amy G here. I've been to a handful of these, and although there were never hubbies there (cameras or not), after an hour or so, no one would have cared.


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

C.C. You could be the photographer, although I insist that you allow me to assist.

LM. - Get the party started, one hour later CC and I will be by to Party.... Uh photograph the party so that, um, ah, you could have a memento. Free mementos for all of your guests. :D


Laughing Mom profile image

Laughing Mom 7 years ago

I'm a little frightened to ask what the momento would be.


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

;)


RooBee profile image

RooBee 7 years ago from Here

hmmm fun hub, fun read. Not convinced on the authenticity of "Carmin" among other things, but the last several minutes I spent looking over your hub were well spent in any case.


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

Oh carmin is as authentic as she needs to be. ;)


Claymerica profile image

Claymerica 7 years ago from Tennessee

Great Hub! I wish I had found it sooner


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

Good thing I got the pics, that way we can enjoy it for a bit. :D


Chris Eddy111 profile image

Chris Eddy111 7 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Great story. You got your wish after all eh?


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

Chris Eddy- :D (he grins like the Chessire Cat)


marcofratelli profile image

marcofratelli 7 years ago from Australia

Ahahhahaqhahqhhahahaha, you knew I would be looking at this hub of yours first didn't you?!! Absolutely brilliant, this is the best thing I've read in a while. One criticism though, and it's been mentioned above - you started off well but then totally sucked as photographer toward the end there mate! ;)


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

My deepest apologies; I was so damned excited about the happenings at the party that I just was not paying attention to the workings of the camera. Damned unprofessional of me.


mayhmong profile image

mayhmong 7 years ago from North Carolina

I can't believe your girls were asleep through that whole thing?! I'm sure you had a blast with that camera! BTW, who's leopard panties landed on the Chandelier?


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

may- I could tell you, but it is best to be quiet about those things......Nudge nudge.


MarieDance profile image

MarieDance 7 years ago from United States

Wow. Interesting. I wonder how your wife reacted the morning after.


mp 7 years ago

Paper moon... you ROCK... this hub is awesome... I give it a 10 out of 5... very creative... very well written... funny as anything


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds Author

MarieDance- she reacted with a bloody mary. Hair of the dog you know.

mp- thanks. Glad you enjoyed.


Rik Ravado profile image

Rik Ravado 6 years ago from England

I have this problem too. Regular lingerie parties in the family home are a pain up the butt. The worst thing is having to squeeze into tiny posing pouches and throngs so the ladies can see what they look like. There is nothing worse than being the only male persued by a bunch of randy, boozy women in sexy underwear. The things we husbands have to put up with!


laptop ac adapter 6 years ago

There is nothing worse than being the only male persued by a bunch of randy, boozy women in sexy underwear. The things we husbands have to put up with! I really agree this


tom hellert profile image

tom hellert 6 years ago from home

I KNOW I AM blind in one eye but those pictures were really dark and blurry by choice right or do I have too get my good eye's prescription changed now.... great hub- I think I know my wife has no plans to go to a llingeree party any time soon-I'm glad nice job- funny too


holdmycoffee profile image

holdmycoffee 4 years ago

Great hub, entertaining, but not overly dirty. I have enjoyed reading it.

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