Anti-Theft Hobo Bag By Travelon

Hobo Bag
Hobo Bag
Actual Hobo
Actual Hobo

The only reason I'm writing about this purse/handbag contraption is because it sounds as if somebody spent a great deal of time working out how to best help hobos hang on to their belongings. It all sounds lovely and altruistic and ever so slightly bohemian. In reality however, the Anti-Theft Hobo Bag from Travelon is just another animal skin contraption that can still be ripped out of your hand by red cheeked urchins in Paraguay, because purses and handbags are perhaps the most theif-able (that's a new word that I made up to help you all) things in the world.

Think about it. You get all your most important possessions, credit cards, cash, cell phone, passport if you're traveling and you stuff them all into a little leather bag that is designed to be dangled off one shoulder, or, if you're really security conscious, across your midsection, where it will make you look like you're walking around constantly wearing a seat belt.

To be fair however, this particular anti-theft hobo bag does have a few 'security' features to try and make up for the fact that you won't put things in your pocket like normal human being. For one, there is a little safety carabineer (yes, like the ones mountain climbers use) that you can use to hook your hobo bag onto something solid when you put it down to have lunch at an overpriced Parisian cafe, where the waiters will regard you as scum for speaking English. It's going to be utterly hilarious when someone tries to run off with your purse and takes the little plastic table and your overpriced black coffee and croissants with them.

It is also 'slash proof' with hidden wires and mesh inside it that will help you avoid those cunning slash-and grab robbers, who instead of slashing your bag and stealing what falls out of it, will probably have to use the knife in a different manner to get what they want. Remember, keep to well lit areas when traveling with all your valuables hanging against your hip.

The manufacturer also makes mention of some sort of tamper proof zip fastener, but its a zip, so lets face it, its probably not all that tamper proof. You're not going to be approached by a Russian spy and asked to transport documents across the border because of your taste in bag accessories, but you may feel slightly safer and smugly stylish whilst you walk past actual hobos who have to battle to the death for raw chicken bones, and really, that's all of us can hope for in this lifetime.

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