Pantyhose For Stylish Men
I don't know about you, but when I think hosiery, I think style. I think class. I think tiny pieces of cheese and glasses of wine that make your head spin to the horse like sounds of other people laughing at obscure Russian jokes.
Unless we're talking about ripped fishnets, in which case I think of ways to recycle trampy clothing into a soap holder that will collect those little slivers of soap into one big ball of reused soapy weirdness. But I digress.
This is a little guide for men to aid in the choosing of stylish hosiery
Sometimes style means playing it safe with dark opaque stockings that hide the hairy reality of your legs to the world. Women love opaque stockings for this reason, on days where the shaving stubble has started to rage out of control on our calves, a pair of opaque stockings can have us looking as well groomed as a Virgin Air Hostess. (They always look pretty damn well groomed to me.)
If you go with a dark enough pair of opaque stockings or pantyhose you will probably be able to get away with wearing them in public.
Fishnet stockings might make you look like a lady of the night, but equally revealing paisley patterned stockings make you look like an accountant's super efficient assistant. See how that works? Neither. But it does, and we shouldn't fight it. If you must show some flair and choose some patterned stockings, ensure that the pattern would look good as wall paper in your grandmother's house. If it passes the grandma's wall paper test, it is good to go on your legs.
Fresh is Best
Is there anything better than a pair of stockings pulled carefully from the cardboardy embrace of their packaging? I think not. For that truly classy effect, put on a pair of new stockings. Old hosiery can be prone to pilling and running and a whole host of other sins that will bring your classyness down. Roll those pantyhose or stockings down to the toes and carefully, gradually ease the fresh nylon up your leg for that classy look and that perfect feel.
Avoid The Traps
Wearing hosiery can be perilous. Stay away from pets, pet hair, and other similar forces of anti hosiery which can ruin a new pair of pantyhose in seconds. Fences, pieces of metal, splinters, even bushes can conspire to penetrate your nylon shield, so it pays to be vigilant at all times.
The power of nylon is at your fingertips. Weild it wisely, chaps.
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