Daily Weird #22 People will be saying "Your poop doesn't stink!"

(A special "thank you" to Rachel Loudermilk, who sent this information my way. Who says teenagers aren't helpful? Thanks, Rachel! You're the best!!)


There are certain people in this world that deserve really big, golden trophies. The person who invented toilet paper being one of them; the second, and almost as revered, should be the people who invented Poo Pourri.

Have you ever had to slink out of the bathroom at a party and hoped no one noticed who was in there last? Have you ever come out of a bathroom stall and felt the need to say, “It wasn’t me, I swear” then be overrun with guilt because you knew it was you? Have you ever had to use smelling salts to revive your wife when she went into the bathroom just a little too soon after you had vacated it?

Or, maybe you’re proud of the smell you leave behind after consuming 12 bean burritos. Maybe you puff your chest a little when the person coming behind you turns pale and runs in the other direction. If you’re this second guy or gal.. stop reading right now. I said right now. Ok, now. Ok, so not only do you “pride-fart”, but you don’t follow directions either. Nice. Very nice.

If you’re the first person, I have found a product to help your life become all you could ever want it to be. You can be the princess of a country, or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or the President of the United States.

OK, you can’t be any of those things. However, you can be the life of any party, and never again have to worry about what you shove down your gullet. Your wife will happily follow you anywhere-even into the bathroom, and you can stand tall when you exit a public stall. That’s right, you really can have all of these wonderful things. All you need is a little Poo Pourri.

Poo Pourri is a new, completely organic, product made by S2Synergy. You just spray the product in the toilet BEFORE going #2, and rest assured that you will leave no odor behind.

Once you try this anti-crap-smell spray, you will be hooked. Once you’re hooked, you’ll want more of everything S2Synergy has to offer.

Some examples are:

Trap-a-Crap,

#2, before you go bathroom spray,

Loo-Pourri, before you go bathroom spray (for our English friends)

Royal Flush

Nature’s Call organic

HeavenSCENT

Pooch Pourri- pet odor remover

Poo Pourri Jr. Lil’ Stinker-soiled diaper deodorizer

And more.

There are as many different products as you have odors.

It’s a new year. What better way to make a real change in your life, than to order Poo Pourri? With Poo-Pourri, you can start worrying about how to make your mark, and stop worrying about what your mark may smell like.

Poo-Pourri.. buy one for you, and maybe even one for a friend. Buying this for the whole office would actually be a gift for you as well. One try, and people will be saying, “Something’s different, I just can’t put my finger on it.” You can smile to yourself and know it’s Poo Pourri, and you DID just put your finger on it.

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Comments 21 comments

Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Lol,with this helpful hub,I can now proudly raise my nose in the scented air.;)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Metalist- I'm so glad I could be of help. You know I'm all about the helpfulness.


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana

This is unbelievably funny! I enjoyed this very much, Poo Queen! LOL


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Mom- OMG, now I'm royalty. Where's my throne? Did I hear a flush?


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

There are so few

Maybe one or two

Who do what you do

To banish poo.

So spray away

With scented spray

Out, out you say

Odors go away.

Have to stop now, sue, it's time for my meds. :)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Drbj- I cannot believe I'm saying this on this hub... that, my friend, was beautiful.

~sniff~

I wouldn't be surprised if the S2synergy people contacted you to buy the rights to that poem for their product.

Don't take your meds, you're way more fun without them! :O)


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 5 years ago

I almost died from laughing at 'anti crap' smell thing line.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I cannot believe the stuff I learn on your hubpage articles. I must go and buy some of this poo-pourri. Very funny and entertaining.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Qudsia- thank you so much! I don't believe there is a better compliment you can give an aspiring humor writer! :)

Susan- Thank you! If you buy some, let me know if it works. I'm seriously considering buying some myself! Also, wait until you see Daily Weird #23.. believe it or not, it is WEIRDER than this one. Oddly enough, it has to do with toilets! :)


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Sue,

As a fairly famous Englishman once said, "a rose by any other name should smell so sweet."

Which actually means - The Rose (theater - the main rival to the Globe) stinks, metaphorically (bad plays by Marlowe), and physically (It was next to the charnel run - a stream that ran from the slaughter houses to the Thames)

Yeah, Shakespeare talked about stench...

Just thought you needed a bit of poo culture now you are a Queen and all,

Chris


Pcunix profile image

Pcunix 5 years ago from SE MA

Though if you eat healthily, you may not need any of that.

As a vegetarian friend of mine often says, "My **** don't stink".

We are mostly vegans, and it is on the day after the non-vegan days that the stink arrives.


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 5 years ago from Bishop, Ca

I live in an all-male household and can't imagine how downtrodden they'd be if I brought this product into our home. I know the testosterone would all but plummet.

Perhaps I will...hmmm!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris- I can't thank you enough for culterizin' me. Is that right? I think I may need more lessons. I do, however have the wave down. In my case, the wave is followed by a flush, but I can handle that.

Pcunix- I have heard that about you Vegans, that your poop doesn't stink and all. I suppose it's a good thing everyone's not a vegan, or this company's profits would go right down the drain! Congratulations on having poop that smells like roses. Or is that Rose's?

lorlie-lmao! That is so true. Guys (except Pcunix), and my sister-in-law, seem really excited about the level of stinkiness they can reach. It's like, "OMG! You have GOT to come smell this!"... while they're grinning from ear to ear and jumping up and down like they've just won this huge contest! It would be a little sad to see that go.


Stan Fletcher profile image

Stan Fletcher 5 years ago from Nashville, TN

Is this for reals? If so, they have solved one of mankind's greatest problems. The owner of this company should be given the Nobel prize as far as I'm concerned, it it really works. It beats the idea I had called the Turd Grenade, which is a fragrant suppository that explodes when it hits the water, along with any poo that might accompany it. Just thought of it actually. But hey, sounds like a great idea, huh?


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Stan- Yes,this is totally for real, actually, one of the inventors is a girl names Suzy, or Suzanne, or something similar to me, so I'm going to pretend it WAS me.

A Turd Grenade. I love it. You should market it. It would completely blow people away! Well, maybe not ALL of them.

OH, and about the Nobel Prize.. definitely! If Al Gore can get one for bringing ATTENTION to the environment, S2synergy should get one for actually CHANGING the environment! Yay S2synergy!!!


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Aww and there goes my invention for an exhaust fan installed under the rim of the bowl. Or does it? What does the product do about the gas escaping into the air? Hmmm maybe there is hope for the fart fan after all--early tests pulled one of the subjects into the bowl and I had to pull the plug so I obviously have to cut down on the horsepower. If you have obnoxious neighbors you could redirect the fart fan's exhaust so that the noxious meets the obnoxious. Poetic justice. Sue, this hub was a gas! =:)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Winsome-You're a genius. The poo game just got interesting! I think you should name your invention Sucky Poo, and give Poo Pourri some compootition!

I like the redirecting idea as well. "The noxious meet the obnoxious"- awesome!

Poo Pourri was a gas(thank you, Winsome), Turd Grenade (thank you, Stan) was a blast.

Sucky Poo is blowing away the competition even though it sucks.

You win!!! (Is that why your name is Winsome?)


Gypsy Willow profile image

Gypsy Willow 5 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

Well mine doesn't anyway!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Gypsy- I believe you. There's always someone who's the exception to every rule. I, for instance, put my pants on two legs at a time.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I can't believe it is real! Omg! I totally thought you WERE making it up. Just proves your talent to spin a good yarn:)

Too funny - I'm going to get a case for Daves bathroom!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 4 years ago from Indiana Author

Did you ever buy some?

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