Descending Into Lingerie Trash Hell With Lingerie.com
A new player in the online shopping industry is lingerie.com, which is run by Bare Necessities. Those of you who read my earlier reviews of online lingerie shopping retailers I like to use will note that I called Bare Necessities something of a bland lingerie store. Well, Lingerie.com is apparently their answer to this charge. Lingerie.com currently stocks 'Sexy Lingerie' (as opposed to all that unsexy lingerie out there), 'Costumes', 'Leather & Vinyl', 'Stockings', 'Bridal', 'Plus Size', and 'Accessories'. This might sound innocuous thus far, but trust me, the sordid depths run deep.
Allow me to demonstrate. Under 'Accessories' the current products are a plus size garter belt, some fishnet garter belt stockings (also plus size) etc, etc, etc, and a leather whip. You can also get little stickers which go over your nipples, for those days when you want to
Essentially, Bare Necessities have gone to the dark side and tossed all the trash lingerie too naughty for their main site onto Lingerie.com. I felt a little dirty after visiting the site. Actually, I'm looking at it right now and thinking that the white, black and red color scheme should probably be replaced by a black, red and white color scheme. This is a dark, naughty little corner of the web just chockablock full of open crotch, open cup and fishnet lingerie. The sort of lingerie your mother warned you about. The sort of lingerie your wild college girlfriend would be wearing when she returned at 6 am from another hard night of working to put herself through school.
Even the bridal category is somewhat trashy. I've never seen a bridal collection which was so dominated by strategic pieces of the lingerie being missing. Cupless and crotchless runs wild in this section as well, not to mention plus size items. Now I am all for plus size items, but I am left bewildered when all a bridal section features is plus size lingerie and sheer open cup bras and babydolls. Are there no traditional, normal sized brides left? Is it now the fashion to look like your groom brought a hooker into the bridal suite on your wedding night? I do see the allure, of course, but a wider range of traditional and non traditional items would be nice to see.
On the other hand, if you're looking for naughty costumes, and you've read all the Harry Potter books and seen all the movies, then you might just find something you like here. If Wizards aren't your thing, then you're stuck with more mesh and see through outfits. Or a naughty nurse. Who doesn't love a naughty nurse.
Anyway, all in all. Lingerie.com is a
bit of a disappointment. It seems to aspire to being the cesspool of
Internet lingerie without actually being Yandy.com, which at least
stocks a wide range of truly interesting trashy lingerie. Unlike Lingerie.com which seems like little more than a good girl's failed attempt to go bad.
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