Five Ways A Dress Makes You Look Fat

This dress mangles the wearer's upper torso entirely, whilst also giving her bulbous hips and stubby legs.
This dress mangles the wearer's upper torso entirely, whilst also giving her bulbous hips and stubby legs.

Dresses are supposed to be the most flattering and feminine thing a woman can wear, but sometimes a dress can add more than ten pounds of percieved weight simply by being unflattering. Here's how.

Rounded Arms

Having your upper arms exposed can add chub factor if your arms are not super toned. Odds are, your arms are not super toned because you probably don't do a lot with them on account of the fact that hardly anybody hunts and gathers any more. You can correct this by using the hunting and gathering simulation machines at your local gym if it is of concern to you.

Waist Obliteration

Unlike pants, which pretty much rely on waists and hips to keep them up, dresses don't give a damn about these regions of your body. In some cases, your waist and hip measurements don't even matter in a dress. In those cases you'll see them marked as being 'free'. But these dresses come at a price. Undefined dresses can mean a total obliteration of the waist / hip region boundary and the formation of the United States of Blob. Yes, a thick belt can help with this problem by defining your waist, but why should you have to deal with the issue in the first place? It's like treason, but for clothes.

Thighs Aplenty

Just like a dress can take your waist and hips and remove all distinction from them, it can also turn your thighs into an undefined 'wide zone', especially if it's one of those dresses that's supposed to enhance an 'hourglass' figure and you've got something more like a 'yearglass figure'. Put some pants on and suddenly your legs are shapely, long and reasonable again. Dresses can also give you a 'stubby' limb effect by cutting off just below the knees.

Jennifer Love Hewitt falls victim to a dress.
Jennifer Love Hewitt falls victim to a dress.

Mass of Fabric

A dress is, in essence, one big mass of fabric draped over your body in what's supposed to be a pleasing way. But what if it's not pleasing? If a dress doesn't fit well, or if your body doesn't happen to conform to traditional shape, then you may as well roll around in your bedsheets and wear them instead. Case in point? Jennifer Love Hewitt, one of the most attractive women in Hollywood, looks like she's wearing an extra person inside a dress that she no doubt thought was adorable and vintage. Wrong!

Curves In All The Wrong Places

Dresses can actually accentuate all those little areas we don't like. The belly pooch, the dowager's hump, the saddle bags, the silent psychic wound we've had about our femininity since grade school. We're supposed to look good in dresses, but not all of us do, and almost nobody looks good in just any old dress.


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Comments 3 comments

stephhicks68 profile image

stephhicks68 4 years ago from Bend, Oregon

Ugh, horrible photos! But they do the job.... Great tips for avoiding unflattering dresses!


everytide profile image

everytide 4 years ago from Beijing,CN

tks ^-^


everytide profile image

everytide 4 years ago from Beijing,CN

tks ^-^

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