Future Fashions | Lycra / Nylon / Spandex Unitards For Men
Bodystockings, bodysuits, teddies and now unitards. These aren't lingerie, and they're not women's clothing, which puts us in a parallel clothing universe of awesomeness, a universe where it is not just the slip slide of nylon, silk or cotton which brings thrills to the wearer, but where Lycra joins the party in an all inclusive sort of way.
In case you were concerned about their functionality, Lycra / Spandex / Nylon unitards are incredibly multi purpose, they are useful for wrestling, dressing up like a super hero, working out, or just giving co-workers a thrill next time you're in the office.
Let's have a look at some of these super unitards from Spandex Man.
Closed Hood Unitard (Top Right)
The closed hood unitard wouldn't be terribly useful for any of the above activities, in fact, I'm not even entirely sure that you could survive longer than about 5 minutes inside this thing. (Kidding, of course you could, assuming that you happen to be anaerobic bacteria.)
There's also the 'body bag', which is a little more edgy than your average clothing bear, but which indubitably provides total coverage without having the pesky problem of having your arms confined outside your lycra suit of dreams. It's like the clothing equivalent of a little dark cave you can just crawl into when the world gets too much to bear.
If you prefer your unitard more functional and in keeping with pop culture, there are plenty of unitards designed to make you look like a superhero. Pictured is a kind of dark spider man outfit which is sure to impress men, women and children alike. Functioning spinets are extra.
Are you more of a rock star? This unitard actually allows the wearer to breathe, not to mention show off their flawlessly waxed chest. It's called the 'Freddy Mercury', no doubt in homage to the front man of Queen who often wore unitards on stage. Inexplicably, they never really became mainstream at the time, but the future is indubitable theirs.
Body Bag With Legs
Back to the body bags, but this time, some one's actually thought to add legs, for those times when you're totally encased in Lycra, but just need to get up to open the door. That will be the last time those pesky Jehovah's Witnesses come back, I tell you what!
Spandexman describes this number as the 'Ultimate Unitard' and I can't say I disagree with him. All the joys of the unitard combined with slashes and holes for greater air circulation. Next time you have a meeting with management to discuss a possible promotion, make sure you're wearing this baby, that deal will be signed, sealed and delivered the moment you make your appearance through the boardroom window.
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