Ripped Boyfriend Shorts

Put your hand up if you remember the 80's. Keep your hand up if you really enjoyed the fashions of that time. For those of you with your hands still up, I have good news, the 80's are back! Masquerading as a modern fashion trend, it's now perfectly acceptable for you to wear cut off ragged shorts about the place.

They're being called 'Boyfriend' shorts, much like boyfriend jeans, because they look like you're wearing your boyfriend's clothing, and they're totally in, according to Tania Braukamper, a self proclaimed Alpha Female whose claim to fame is owning more clothes than she could possibly ever wear. It's good though, because should she ever choose to end it all, she could do so under an avalanche of her own clothing. Poetic and incredibly hip.

This is what they're wearing in New York, kids, and as goes New York, so goes the world. Why does New York tend to lead fashion trends? Well, there are a whole bunch of people in New York, several million at the very least and 90% of these people are hopelessly obsessed with status and fashion. The other 10% just happened to have been born there and can't quite make it out of the neighborhood they grew up in.

When you have such a critical mass of the fashion obsessed, you have a great deal of inspiration and fashion innovation, but innovation of a very careful kind. You see, you can't be too outlandish, because then you just look odd, and you can't be too recent, because then you look like *gasp* a trend follower, so instead you have to walk a fine fashion line, the fashion event horizon, if you will.

But back to boyfriend shorts. This look can be pulled off by anyone prepared to mutilate a pair of old jeans, or more likely, those willing to pay for someone else to pre-mutilate their jeans and sell them to them in a store. (Pre-mutilated clothing is a bit of a decadent luxury, but like bagged salads, they're just so much easier to serve.)

It helps if you have the figure of a heroin addict, but even if you don't, I would suggest you get your ass into a pair of these shorts before those crazy kids in New York decide that they all want to wear yellow plastic mackintoshes and galoshes instead.

Quick! Buy now! Before it is too late! The Alpha Females might come for you otherwise. Mwa hahahaha ha ha haa ha. (Don't worry, you can always tell when the alpha females are coming for you, because they howl when they see shiny things.)

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Comments 4 comments

ericcornelison profile image

ericcornelison 7 years ago

I have to show this article to my wife she is a fashion freak and maybe we could use some of those old jeans she has been telling me to get rid of for years.

SmoothLegsSC 7 years ago

I know the article is about fashion, but that poor girl looks like something out of the holocaust.

pauls_boat 7 years ago

hi if girls can have boyfriend shorts and boyfriend jeans can the men have girlfriend skirts and girlfrien dresses?

Mikk 7 years ago

I've worn my wife's cutoff shorts for a long time

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