Hair in All the Right Places

It's a Hairy Situation

It recently occurred to me that women and hair are a completely ridiculous matter. I am not even talking about hairstyles. Certainly, that is complicated enough with short hair, long hair, bobs, perms, weaves, etc. I am talking about a rather touchy subject. I am talking about women, and facial hair and body hair. Let's face it folks, we are talking about a hairy situation here. As a woman, it is crucial to have hair in all the right places, yet at the same time, it is just as important to be hairless in other areas. But why? Who made the rules?

Do you ever stop and think about how ridiculous it is that in one morning, you might be plucking out the hairs in your eyebrows, only to draw fake eyebrows in with eyebrow pencil? Even though many women don't do that, I'll bet most women use mascara. Why is it that eyelashes are supposed to be thick, yet eyebrows are supposed to look thin? Some women even add fake eyelashes to make their eyelashes look longer and thicker. So let me get this straight - I just plucked out the extra hairs from my eyebrows because eyebrows can't be thick. Next, I am painting on mascara, eye shadow, and eye liner to make my eyelashes look as thick as possible. Is there any logic to this? You see, this is what I think about in the morning when getting ready. This is why I can't make it to work on time.

Source

Hair That's Unacceptable

OK, so basically, women in the U.S. must abide by some strict anti-hair rules. I have compiled a list of areas on a woman's body that is not allowed to be hairy:

  • Under her arms
  • On her chest
  • Legs
  • Feet and/or toes
  • Facial hair
  • Bikini area

Area that needs to be tweezed or shaped:

  • Eyebrows

Areas that some women wax or shave, but it is optional:

  • Arms
  • Back of neck

Hair That is Acceptable

Now, for the hair that is allowed by our culture. Not only is it socially acceptable to be hairy in these places, it is encouraged:

  • Hair on head
  • Eyelashes

Wow, it is a much shorter list, isn't it? Basically, our society wants a bunch of hairless women roaming around.

Ouch! Once again, the things I do for my hubs.
Ouch! Once again, the things I do for my hubs. | Source

The Beauty Industry Gets Richer

Now, let's discuss who the real winners are in all of this. Do you think it is you, ladies? You are wincing in pain from plucking hairs and nicking yourself shaving. Let's not even talking about the itch... oh, you know the itch. I will never forgive the adult film industry for making women feel they need to be hairless or at least extremely trimmed in a very private place. No wonder so many women are walking around in a foul mood.

Are men really winning when it comes to these weird standards? Honestly, I don't even know that men pay attention to eyebrows unless his girlfriend suddenly shaves them all off or goes with a unibrow. Do they like other areas hair-free? Yeah, sure, it depends on the area and it depends on the guy. Even I must admit I am a little weirded out if I see a woman wearing a low-cut shirt with chest hair. But honestly, I doubt most men really benefit from all of this either. No, many of them are sitting alone in a bathroom right now resentful that they also feel the need to wax or shave away some of their own body hair. (P.S. Don't do it, guys. Just don't!)

The real winners in this ridiculous hairy situation is the beauty industry. The beauty industry loves it that women feel the need to buy mascara that adds length and makes lashes seem fuller. Why, there is even mascara now that supposedly grows eyelashes. Wow! The stuff that is on the market now. Don't you think Maybelline and Cover Girl is laughing at the fact that there are indeed women that will tweeze away every hair in their eyebrows and then DRAW THEIR EYEBROWS BACK! What a fabulous way to for the beauty industry to make money!

I can only imagine how well companies are doing right now that make wigs, weaves, and fake eyelashes. Yes, women, we take away hair in one region only to add more hair in another region. It is crazy! The beauty salons are just loving all the business they do, too. They are plucking, threading, shaving, cutting, and waxing away hair everyday and cashing in.

Let's not forget about razors. Those companies are rolling in the money, too. Good for you, Gillette and Schick. You sell us those dirt cheap razors with a cartridge or two. Then, when we need to buy the replacement cartridges, you really stick it to us, don't you? Oh, OK... let me pay 5 bucks for this razor. Oh wait, the package of replacement cartridges is $20! Great, it is pay it or remain hairy. Obviously, we've already established hairy can't happen.

What is the Answer to All of This?

So you might say, "Jeannie, what are we to do about all of this?" And the answer is, "I don't know." I mean, come on, do I ever have the answers? Seriously, the most I can say is let's be a little more tolerant of hairy women, I don't know. I just like pointing out what is obviously weird about our society. I don't know that we can change it.

For now, it is in style to have fake eyelashes and weaves. But these things come and go. Eventually, women will get tired of all the work and then a more natural look will be the thing to do. For now, it is kind of fun to get all dolled up and look as pretty as possible. So maybe we should just enjoy it right now. The only thing I can say is, please stop plucking all your eyebrows out and then drawing them back on. There really is no need for that... not now, not ever! Mistakes happen, but don't do it on purpose. Thank you all my fellow hairy or hairless friends for reading!

Copyright ©2012 Jeannieinabottle


Before You Watch the Video...

Part of my inspiration for this hub was Jenna Marbles (Jenna Mourey) and her vlog called "What Girls Do In The Bathroom In The Morning." Since she inspired this, I felt it only fair to include her video. If you've never watched Jenna before, I will warn you, she is not for everyone. She cusses a bit like a sailor. However, she is awesome and if you like this clip, I highly recommend looking at her other videos on YouTube.

P.S. I wrote my hub about side braids before this video came out. I hope in some small way, I helped inspire her. Honestly, I am fairly certain she doesn't know I exist, but whatever. Enjoy!

Video By Jenna Marbles

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Comments 21 comments

cclitgirl profile image

cclitgirl 4 years ago from Western NC

Hehehe, it turns out, I'm allergic to mascara, lipstick and eye shadow. So, I go around 'nekkid' - that is, I don't wear make-up. As for the hair, well, let's see...sure I'm not above plucking and shaving - I live in this culture. But then after that, if somebody doesn't like it, then I say "may hair grow out of their ears and out of their nose!" Hehehehe. Fun hub and a good read! Voted up and interesting. :)


Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

Jeannie,

This is awesome and I agree that the beauty industry is making money hand over fist because of her insecurities and desires to fit the unattainable standard of feminine beauty.

Eyebrows are a strange animal. I don't pluck them super thin usually because I think my natural brows look better with some gentle shaping.

But I'm dreading spring/summer only because I know I will be shaving like nobody's business so I don't feel like Robin Williams :)! Great hub!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

cclitgirl - I used to rarely wear make-up, but for some reason, pretty much wear it all the time now. The beauty industry got me! They are evil! Thanks for dropping and thanks for the votes!

Alecia - As you can see by the photo, I don't go crazy with my eyebrows either. I am lucky to have any at all! My father doesn't even have eyebrows, so I have to appreciate what I've got.

Oh yes, the summer time always means extra shaving. Sigh. At least it will finally be warm though, so I guess I can take it. Thanks for dropping by!


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

Ugh - Im going to show this Hub to my oldest daughter today after school. She is TEN and in her sex ed class she was informed that the boys and girls should start shaving. Ummm...why? My daughter is NOT a hairy child and I think 10 is a little young to worry about having sexy legs. Just my opinion. Anyway, I think the standards are getting worse and worse. Speaking of hair removal, don't you have a great Hub on men and shaving?


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Love the video..she is so cute and funny! Yes it seems being hairless is the trend..I grew up in Europe where women did not shave pits or legs..back in the 60's may have changed now..Yucky to a kid...I feel sorry for the hairy people, trying to keep up must be such a chore!lol

Sunnie


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Ardie - Thanks for dropping by. I am so annoyed that a 10 year old would be taught that in school. First of all, how hairy can a 10 year old be anyway? I know, maybe there are some exceptions, but seriously. Quite frankly, not everyone is that hairy. I wish I'd never started shaving under my arms... I would probably still have peach fuzz. Totally ridiculous! As far as hair removal for men, Princesswithapen has that one. I included her link in the hub. I am so against hairless men! I am confused about manscaping. Oh well. Times have changed, I guess.

Sunnie Day - I am glad you liked the video. I have been following Jenna on Youtube for a few months now. I am starting to think maybe I need a vlog, too. The whole hairless movement has gotten really out of hand, hasn't it? Soon, there will be nothing left to shave. We will all be just hairless adults walking around looking creepy. Thanks for reading my hub and for the comment!


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

haha I agree..since when did hair become a bad thing? Even men are encouraged to shave their chests..I love a hairy chest myself..maybe not on the back or hanging out nostrils but hair is not always a bad thing..:)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

This is so true. A man with a hairy chest is great. A man with hairy nostrils... not so much. If I wrote a hub for men, I would have to add hairy nostrils and hairy eats. Hehe.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

I think body hair is also man's issue. Lots of men wax their chest hair, some even pluck their eyebrows.

Perhaps you could write about men, Jennie.


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Great hub, very cute. Mono-brown runs in my family so it is a constant battle. Voted up.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Vinaya, thanks for reading my hub. I think I am going to leave the male grooming hubs to guys... at least for now. I wish men did not wax their chests!

Tammy, thank you for the vote up. Yes, my mother's side of the family has issues with mono-brows and my father's side has issues with no eyebrows. Luckily, I am in the middle. :-)


missolive profile image

missolive 4 years ago from Texas

Jeannieinabottle - what a pain this all is! Having darker hair can make this an even greater issue. Waxing, plucking, trimming and shaving can be a real chore! Add to that the irritation, stubble and burn. Especially in the summers! UGH! I saw a woman having the tops of her toes and feet waxed the other day. She was mad because her sister kept making fun of her. (I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing cuz her sister was hilarious and had a contagious laugh) A friend from high school made the mistake of using Nair on her forehead. She got distracted and ended up with ONE BROW! LOL! The things we go through!

I was familiar with Jenna Marbles - she is too funny. Thanks for sharing.

Cute hub, a bit fuzzy, but cute ;)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Oh, hair removal is just such a difficult thing. I've heard of people getting the tops of their toes waxed. Shesh. Guess I need to add that to the list... thanks! The summer does make matter worse, doesn't it? Oh, and Nair on the forehead sounds so scary! I tried it once for my legs... never will again!

I love Jenna Marbles. I have to watch her all the time now. I love her vlog about underwear horoscopes.

Thanks for reading and thanks for the comment. Yes, this one was a bit fuzzy. Hehe.


thougtforce profile image

thougtforce 4 years ago from Sweden

Interesting and fun read! It is almost insane how much time and effort we put into changing something that is natural. And we have done it into an extent that it feels natural to be hairless, in all the right places of course! I would have a hard time to just let it grow:)) Voted up, fun and interesting!

Tina


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

So much time and energy is spent looking unnatural. It is quite funny (and it little depressing) if you think about it. Thanks for the votes!


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 4 years ago from San Francisco

Hehee, love this Hub! I'd be a happy gal if I never felt worried about hair again.... though I reckon that'll never happen. And I'm SO glad you included the Jenna Marbles. She's hilarious!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I know exactly what mean! I would love to never think about hair again, yet I always like the end result. I love Jenna Marbles, so I was happy to include her. I would include her in every hub if I could. Thanks for dropping by, Simone!


lambservant profile image

lambservant 3 years ago from Pacific Northwest

I have never met a woman with chest hair - gross. Have you ever come home from a fun evening with friends and looked in the mirror closely as you get ready for bed and much to your horror discover a long hair protruding from your face or chin? The worst. Then you worry the next time you're with these friends if they will be thinking "Hmm, that hair is gone from her chin. I wonder if she shaved, plucked, or waxed it off."

We women are a complex lot.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Yes! I have an annoying chin hair that likes to pop out of a mole for no apparent reason. It seems like it always decides to show itself at the least appropriate moment. And to think I thought I was the only one! Thanks for your comment.


Breanne Ginsburg profile image

Breanne Ginsburg 23 months ago

Jeannieinabottle,

This is a great article! I agree that it is ridiculous that some women purposely shave their eyebrows only to pencil new ones in. I think that if a woman wants to wear makeup and follow the "rules of beauty" they can, but I think that they should want to. Also, while I think that it is a good idea to take in your partner's opinion (if you have one) when it comes to how they would like you to shave, I think it's also essential that again, you want to shave how you do in the end.

I also find it interesting that men cringe at the idea of women being bald or having hair that is too short and yet they also cringe if a woman doesn't shave a certain area of her body perfectly. For example, I know that for the longest time (before I got a better razor), I was paranoid that I didn't shave under my arms close enough even though the razor I had at the time would only allow me to shave so close. It can be a very stressful situation.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 23 months ago from Baltimore, MD Author

It can be stressful! Sometimes I envy women that don't bother shaving at all, but I do like my legs shaved, so I guess I am stuck shaving. Thanks for your comment.

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