Hanky Panky Totally Made Some Bras For Men
Thanks to reader Cantsay for pointing out this lovely line of what I'm pretty much going to call lace bandeau bras for men from Hanky Panky. Did Hanky Panky ostensibly say they were for men? No, of course not, however I am willing to bet that the average male would be far more comfortable in one of these lovely stretchy lace contraptions than the average female. Certainly, there's no way I personally could comfortably wear one of those things.
What's a bandeau? Essentially, its a piece of underwear that no woman who actually has breasts could ever wear. Now admittedly, if you happen to be an A-cup, you might get away with one of these, but as a woman with a wee bit more up top I can testify that this sort of pseudo-bra would result in one's cleavage being somewhere near one's navel by lunch time.
One commonly sees bandeau type arrangements worn on the emaciated women competing on survivor, the ones who wrap their tribal colors around their chests, thus drawing attention to the fact that they have them, sort of. It's always been a source of great interest to me how survivors are perpetually on the edge of starvation, forced to do challenges that lab monkeys would find undignified and yet they still have the energy to whine at one another with great regularity. By this,I'm not saying that the producers of Survivor might be slipping amphetamines into the water supply. I'm saying that they're definitely slipping amphetamines into the water supply. If I was anywhere near that malnourished and beaten by the elements and the 12 douche bags I was forced to share a continent with, I'd just lie on the ground and whimper all day, I certainly wouldn't be running over slippery water traps with the alacrity of a forest deer. But I have wildly deviated from the topic at hand here, which is that, to all intents and purposes, Hanky Panky made pretty lace training bras for men.
It tries to make up for it by saying that a strapless bra can be worn underneath, but I ask you truly, why wear two bras when you could wear one? (Unless you just really loved bras, or perhaps all your strapless bras were covered in embarrassing slogans from your youth, in which case, fine, wear two bras.)
They're incredibly pretty however, lovely even, and I'm betting that any man who tries one won't just stop at one. These lace bandeaus could become your equivalent of fetid, methamphetamine laced water that keeps you coming back for subsequent seasons even though you never win any money at all. And if that isn't the best recommendation I've ever made for a piece of lingerie, I'll eat the hat I don't have.
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