How to Love Yourself In Lingerie (Stop Feeling Guilty Because You Wear Panties)
A book by Hope Alexander for men who wear women's clothing and the women who love them.
This lighthearted, non threatening guide to men wearing women's clothing is designed to tickle the fancy of men who wear women's clothing and to provide a resource for the special people in their lives who may not entirely understand the phenomenon.
17 action packed pages along with charming illustrations guaranteed to soften even the most granite of exteriors.
Men who don't wear lingerie and women who have never really thought about men who wear lingerie often don't appreciate the difficulties associated with being a man who wears lingerie. If you spend any amount of time speaking with men who wear lingerie however, it soon becomes apparent that being a man who wears panties is a lot harder than it sounds.
Why is that? Well, for every little bit of bigoted resistance the man who wears lingerie experiences in his day to day life, a whole lot more can be heaped upon his head, not by those who know him, but by himself. Some men who wear lingerie constantly criticize themselves inwardly for wanting to wear lingerie. They feel that it is wrong, perhaps even immoral. Though they want to wear it, and indeed they do wear it, the pangs of guilt and self loathing are never very far away. The good news is that not all men who wear lingerie feel this way, and it is possible to move from feeling guilty and scared about your lingerie wearing habits to simply enjoying and accepting yourself in lingerie.)
In order to move from guilt to enjoyment, t may help to explore where some of our tendencies for self loathing come from, after all, being a modern human is a difficult enough experience without adding the fact that you have an irrepressible desire to break social norms. Most of us have been brought up in a world where success and achievement (socially and fiscally) are the only things that matter. It's no longer enough to be a baker because your father was a baker, to have a few friends, to live a simple life and enjoy it. Nowadays you have to be the best baker in the land and be famous, have your own bakery show on TV. You must be loved by all, you must be popular. If you don't have a gazillion friends, well, then you're probably a loser nut job. We've been fed the line that anyone can achieve anything, along with the unspoken corollary that if you don't achieve something noteworthy in your life, well, then you're more than a little bit of a waste of DNA.
99% of the messages we soak up and believe as inward truths are, not to put too fine a point on it, bullshit. They've created a society obsessed with beauty, (to the point where women have their bodies hacked open and synthetics stuffed inside) and celebrity (hundreds of thousands of people line up to try to be the next American Idol, because if you're not famous, you don't matter.)
This may not seem immediately relevant to men who wear lingerie, but I tell you it is, it is relevant because these same drives which have poisoned our psyches are drives which compel us to conform in various ways. As a group, as a society, we have said that youth, beauty and status are things that matter, for many they are all that matter. Anything which contravenes these ideals is regarded as being negative. So there you are, a man finding his place in the world, feeling pressure to succeed, to find a beautiful wife, to find love, to perhaps even be famous, and yet you have these panty desires. These desires which represent everything that the world says you shouldn't be.
The reasons why men wear panties are as varied as the men that wear them, but one thing remains constant across all men who wear lingerie. One day, you will die. Cheerful, I know, but again, I have a point here. When you die, you will do so alone. Even if you're unlucky enough to be surrounded by other people all dying at the same time, your experience will be an individual one. And at that point, do you really think you will look back on your life and say “At least I conformed to society's expectations of me.” Of course you won't. You'll remember and rejoice in every moment you truly lived. You'll wish you had been less afraid to experience all the world had to offer, you'll wish you'd spent less time chasing 'the dream' force fed to you in every sponsored cartoon and action movie you've ever seen, and more time in the reality.
Those who live their lives their way have far less fear of death than those who treat life as if it is some kind of game that can be won. Happiness is where you find it, and if stockings, a brassiere and a lacy pair of panties make you happy, then do not deny yourself that pleasure. Whatever you do, do not allow yourself to be controlled by a set of rules dreamed up by evil marketing gurus to sell you more toothpaste.
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