How to Wobble Your Fat Away by the author of Laugh Your Weight Away

How to Wobble Your Fat Away

 

Kylie Minogue and Madonna are reportedly using Fat Wobbling Machines as part of their fitness and health regimens.  I was nothing like Kyle or Madge when I first stood on my Fat Wobbling Machine – also known as a Vibration Machine.  Unlike them, I was a big, fat lump.

Discovering Vibration Machines and Losing Body Fat

I didn’t know anything about Vibration machines when I first stood, wobbling on one. I was asked to stand on the machine’s platform by my daughter and, when she saw the way the fat on my belly wiggled, I realised why she’s asked me to stand on it – she wanted to laugh at her big, fat Mommy. And did she laugh! In the end she was doubled up on the settee, holding her stomach, crying with tears begging me to stop wobbling my fat. But I didn’t. In fact I increased the rate at which my fat wobbled by turning up a dial.

Oh, how she laughed!

At this point my daughter was heaving with laughter and apparently in pain. She beseeched me, between guffaws, to “get off”. I did (temporarily) and within a minute her laughter had subsided. However, before she could leave the room and escape, I played a master stroke. I quickly pulled up my skirt and sat on the Fat Wobbler in my pair of sensible white kickers.

Bum and Tum Wobbling

Now, instead of her laughing uncontrollably about my bulging belly wobbly, she laughed at the fat ripples on my huge fat bum. I saw for myself in the mirror why she found the spectacle so funny. It reminded me of a skipping song I’d used in my youth – “jelly on the plate, jelly on the plate, wibble-wobble, wibble-wobble, jelly on the plate”. When I recited this verse, dead-pan, while the fat on my big bum wobbled my daughter’s laughter turned to donkey-like brays.

Ten Minutes Every Other Day is all that is needed!

I would have sat thus for longer and prolonged my daughter’s laughter and pain but I started to feel tired and – after ten minutes standing and latterly sitting on the Fat Wobbling Machine I was bored. Without any notification I stood (albeit in a somewhat undignified manner) and took myself from the room. On the way out I snatched a leaflet about the Fat Wobbling Machine or Vibration Machine as I discovered it was called.

Bananas and Custard

I went to the kitchen and did myself a snack of bananas and custard. I’d been sitting in front of my computer all day and the walk from my daughter’s room to the kitchen and then to the sitting room, was the longest walk I’d had all day. I sat contentedly in front of the now activated television and slurped gob-fulls of very tasty yellow goo into my mouth. There was nothing much on so I read the leaflet.

Feel the Burn!

I had a strange ache in my calves, thighs and buttocks when I opened the leaflet and started reading. Within five minutes I discovered that the ache was due to the work out I’d given my muscles on the Fat Wobbler. That wasn’t the only thing I discovered about The Fat Wobbler/Vibration machine over the course of the next day.

What I discovered about Vibration Technology

The Vibration Machine was the latest technological breakthrough in exercise and health. The original idea came via Russian space technology. It had been faced with the problem of exercise in a very confined space for their cosmonauts. After proving to be effective for cosmonauts, the technology was picked up by the Russian sports industry. The latter, were confident that their technique gave them an edge over their competition. Since then, it has been discovered that the Vibration Method is not only a valuable form of exercise for the already super-fit. The technology offers a safe form of exercise for the over-weight and to people unable to partake of exercise.

The Perfect Solution for Fatties!

It turned out that my daughter had found out about Vibration Technology and decided that a Vibration Machine would be good for me. She’d noticed how I stayed for hours in front of my computer – working 12-16 hours per day and neglecting myself – since I started working for myself. I’d noticed my weight pile on but with work I never had the time to be completely depressed about it. I put it down to my age – it was my time to get fat.

Vibration Technology Changed My Life!

My Fat Wobbler has changed my life. My belly is a stomach again and my love-handles shook until they disappeared. I didn’t intend to cut down eating my treats but I did naturally. I didn’t intend to spend more time indulging myself in other ways – new clothes, beauty treatments and exotic fruits but I did. I’m convinced that my Fat Wobbler triggered these reactions and is the main reason I am unable to make my daughter laugh when I’m on it.

Recommendation

I can recommend you buy yourself a Vibration Machine one hundred percent. Even if you just stood on it for ten minutes every other day you’d notice a change within 10 days. And there so easy to use. While I have been writing this I’ve sat with my feet on the vibrating platform for the last few minutes. I can do the same while I’m watching television. In this and similar ways I can almost effortlessly work on toning my muscles in different regions.

Happy Ever After

Even people like Kylie Minogue, Madonna and me (nowadays) can benefit from Vibration Machines and this incredible technology.

Copyright Wilma Proops AndAnotherThing2

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Comments 1 comment

Fat Busta 7 years ago

OMG it works! Thanks Wilma - REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I lost an inch of me ass in a week!!!!!

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