How to instantly look slimmer

Throw that scale away. If you want to look slimmer, the secret is in these tactics, not the number on the scale!
Throw that scale away. If you want to look slimmer, the secret is in these tactics, not the number on the scale! | Source

A little secret

With the obesity epidemic at large, humans all over are attempting to find ways to slim down. Of course, it is the quick fixes people really want. After all, who wants to cut out their favorite foods, exercise until you can’t move, or even remove yourself from the beloved TV or computer screen. So, what is the secret?

We all want to enjoy life, but sometimes we don’t want the work that comes with it. Now what if I could tell you there is a way for you to instantly look slimmer without even breaking a single bead of sweat. You are probably shaking your head right now in disbelief. I did too. But, after a trial session with these tactics, I realized that it really works. And in no time, people will be asking you, “Have you lost weight recently?” or saying, “Wow, you look great. What’s your secret?”

Now, the urge to tell everybody it was strict dieting and hours of painstaking exercises might happen. And feel free to tell them that is what you did. However, I am going to let you in on a little secret - it doesn’t have to be that hard.

So, if you are looking for a way to look better, these just might be some of the tactics you might be interested in.

Wear black

Everybody knows this cheap trick. It has been something people have been doing for years. But do you know why this trick works? It is because of the light and the shadows.

If a person wears lighter clothes, it will highlight every area - every bump, bulge and body issue you might have. Whereas wearing black is like hiding in the shadows. Light is absorbed by black and will give the appearance of being slimmer than you really are. It will basically hide your body issues the best and trick the eye.

The similar effect is used in makeup. When you are trying to highlight something, you use a lighter color. Black will make it look sunken in. So, if you want to get the appearance that you waistline is also sunken in, try wearing black.

Now black will work, assuming it is used correctly. I am not stating if you wear a complete outfit of black tight spandex that you will look instantly slimmer. Dress smart. Choose black (or darker colored) clothes that fit you well and flatter your shape.

Buying my own shapewear

Do you remember the Kymaro Body Shaper? It was all over informercials as one of the hot new As Seen On TV products. With my addiction to As Seen On TV products, this was another one that I just had to have.

For my daughter's birthday, we decided to take a trip to the Mall of America in Minnesota. While we were walking through the mall we ended up finding an entire store dedicated to As Seen On TV products. I was in heaven!

While we were in the store, I found the Kymaro. I had to have it. I had had a baby a few months earlier and frankly, I was hoping this would help suck in the baby bulge and get my clothes back to fitting me properly. So, I did what any As Seen On TV addict would do... I pulled out my credit card and made the purchase.

We headed back to the hotel room, which is were the issues began. Now, shapewear is intended on helping you suck it all in. Obviously, this meant it was going to be tight. The problem was - it was so tight, I couldn't even get it up past my knees. I struggled and struggeld. With my husbands assistance, I got it on.

Even though I couldn't breath, I proudly put my jeans hoping for the miracle it promised. Nope, they didn't fit any better. I was disappointed and quickly running out of air. To make matters even worse, suddenly my knees looked fat. It had just pushed my stomach down. To top it off, I was stuck. Yes, I couldn't get out of this stupid Kymaro!

I didn't like this product, and even though you can't normally return undergarments, I insisted my husband take it back. I sent my husband back to the store and he took the heat. The cashier was another male and my husband told him his sad story.

"I would like to return this. You see, I thought my wife would like this since she has been complaining about how she looked. Well, she didn't like my help on this. In fact, she won't talk to me until I get rid of this!"

Feeling sorry for him, and probably thinking he was the dumbest husband ever, the cashier took the product back. I thank my husband for taking the heat, while I stood outside of the store and watched... especially since I am the one that bought the item!

Corset your body

In the old days, women used to wear corsets and tighten them to the point where they can barely breath. While corsets aren’t used as much in today’s daily outfits, the trick still works if you are attempting to look a few pounds slimmer. The concept was to draw in the waistline and give a women an hourglass shape. Thus, appearing slimmer and more attractive to the opposite sex.

What can we do in today’s society to get the same effect. Well, you could go out and buy a corset. It isn’t as if they no longer exist. I will warn you though, in the old days, women had someone help them get dressed. It would be very difficult to attempt to lace your corset (with the strings in the back) as tight as possible to get the desired effect all by yourself. In addition, buying a corset can be on the pricey side. You can find variations in your local shops (usually used as bedroom wear), or you can check out a local renaissance festival were they are sold in abundance. You can even check out Amazon.com to see their selection.

Yet, there has to be a better way! One that is cheaper and much more budget friendly. You could opt to buy slimming undergarments or shapewear, yet the cheap versions will only make you look like a stuffed sausage. It is the more expensive versions which will ultimately hold your fat in and make you look thinner. The other negative of slimming garments is were they end. If you get a full body slimming garment, some of these go all the way down to your knees. I guess that means you won’t be able to wear those short shorts or belly shirts, since you need enough clothing to cover the entire shapewear. The other problem, these slimming garments don’t get rid of the extra belly bulge, it just reorganizes it. Therefore, suddenly you look slimmer in the waist, but now you have knee fat where the slimming undergarments end. Is that a sacrifice you are willing to make for something that still costs a pretty penny.

So, if you are looking for a cheaper version, how about wrapping yourself tightly in an ace bandage. The concept works well for an injury by stabilizing the body part. So why not use the same concept for your belly bulge. The bonus, you can wrap the areas you want to look thinner, leave the areas to give yourself curves, and still have the option of using it anywhere to best go with the outfit of the day!

Wear a booty pop

Maybe you aren’t familiar with this handy little garment, yet this little invention can help people all over the world build their confidence. It will also take the attention off the other areas of your body, since most people will be concentrating on your rear.

This clothing article was originally an As Seen on TV product. Yet, generic versions have popped up in your local stores. I know I was able to find the As Seen On TV product in my local Walgreens. If you want more information on this handy garment, click here.

Just remember, if they are focusing on other areas, like your rear, they will not notice the ones you are trying to hide!

Source

Stand next to bigger people

This is by far the best trick in the book. If you want to appear slimmer to others, hang around people who are bigger than you. It may seem mean and it is almost as if you are using your friends, but if you are the smallest in the group, you will be perceived as the skinny one.

Now, is this fair? Not really. But, if you have friends who are bigger than you, you might as well take advantage of this very fact and make yourself look thinner. Of course, this is not saying you should base your friend’s off of their size. If they are bigger than you, it might make you feel better, but you still need to be able to tolerate them. Therefore, choose friends based off of their personality as well.

Also, a note of caution. Do not let your bigger friends realize that you are using them to boost your confidence. They might sit on you. I know I would!

Notice how the funhouse mirror can instantly make you look skinnier and taller. So, it just goes to show, looking slimmer is just dependent on how you view things!
Notice how the funhouse mirror can instantly make you look skinnier and taller. So, it just goes to show, looking slimmer is just dependent on how you view things! | Source

Install a funhouse mirror to look thinner

We all would like to believe that mirrors tell us the truth. The reality is, the vision can be skewed depending on the type of mirror you are looking into. If you are looking into a normal mirror, they are made as flat as possible to give the most accurate reflection. However, what fun is that?

So how does a funhouse mirror work? They work because they bend, twist, fold and bulge to create different illusions. Therefore, a convex mirror will give you the illusion of being short and fat. But we don’t want to look short and fat. So, if you opt for concave mirror (when the mirror curves inward), it will make you look elongated or thinner, based off your reflection.

So, if you are looking for an instant confidence boost, tear down all those mirrors in your house and replace them with the concave funhouse mirrors. Seeing how great you look will boost your confidence. However, don’t be deceived, other people will only notice the difference if they look at you through the mirror. So, I still can’t authorize you to walk out of the house wearing a complete black spandex outfit. Just a warning!

Final Thoughts

If you have made it this far, I am proud of you. But you must admit, this advice is far from good, and you only continued because you were wondering what was coming next. Sure, it might sound good, but the reality is, if you want to look slimmer there is only one true and tried way to do it - to lose weight.

In today’s society it is a sad reality when everybody is looking for a quick fix. While there are techniques to flatter a person of any size, these tricks don’t cover up the underlying issue. They may improve your look - they may even boost your confidence, but, if you are truly unhappy with the way you look, the only fix is to start a strict diet plan and incorporate exercise into your daily routine.

While working out and eating right isn’t fun; and it is far from easy, you will notice once you start, not only will you feel better, but you will start to look better too. The best part, you can do it without using these “cheap” tricks!

You are beautiful!!!

How do you do it?

As the theme goes, so many of us are looking for a quick fix. So, if you are one of those just hear purely for the entertainment (or if you came here looking for something legitimate), we want you advice. What do you do? I would love to hear your feedback for your most successful weight loss story, how you achieve looking good (preferably without wearing spandex), or overall what you think about the whole quick fix scenario. I look forward to hearing your comments.

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Comments 149 comments

Phoebe Pike 5 years ago

Interesting hub. Witty, and humorous. I once had a friend who did all the things in this hub and then she eventually gained enough weight to be the same size as her "larger" friends.


Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

Fun!! Lots of great tips!! Wear black, undergarments . . . I am not familiar with the booty pop. Sounds like fun! I can't imagine any male going against a vendor of the Kymaro Body Shaper. He must love (or fear) you lots! Ha!


marellen 5 years ago

BBG...funny and then more fun. If anyone carries more weight then they would like to and are not interested in dieting, you have to dress accordingly or you will look and feel frumpy. Having a cute hairstyle and makeup helps too.

I think Ralph M wore one of those booty pops on Dancing With the Stars.

Regarding the undergarments, they are not for the fatty, I think you need to be slim already to wear them because you are right, the fat will bulge everywhere and not hide a thing.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

BBG - Lemme tell you also - as far as colors go, Navy blue and DARK brown do the same trick as black without quite the same level of severity. As for the Kymaro - yuck! BUT, Spanx products are fantastic also! This was great for me. And, just so you know, because it's the kind of friend I am, feel free to stand next to me in pictures (which as a fat chick, I've learned to take from above if they're body shots). Look, we've all got our tricks!! :-) GREAT! - Up, funny, and useful!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Phoebe - I must say I never thought these rules would be religiously followed. However, they are good for a laugh. But I highly don't recommend over indulgence to look like your larger friends if you are using that trick. Glad you enjoyed this. ;)

@Truckstop Sally - I think the only reason he did it for me was because I was crying... not because it looked bad but because I got stuck in it. He had to help me peel it off... and then I blamed him because he pointed it out! LOL... I forgave him since he got our money back - I think it cost $40 at that time... lol

@Marellen - I think it doesn't matter the size as long as you feel good about yourself. I know alot of heavier set people that carry it well, but I think it is really because they wear clothes that fit and they take care of themselves, whether it is a cute haircut or wearing makeup.

Oh yeah, and I would definitely not recommend the undergarments because I did feel like a sausage... lol... it was not comforable even one bit! LOL


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Mo - I would stand next to you just because your cool... I too like the above the neck shots, just because it doesn't showcase my love handles. I have never tried Spanx products, but I will have to look for them. Hopefully they dont' make me feel sausage like. Maybe that is why I don't like sausage... lol


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

HAHAHA! Nope, they're fairly comfortable, believe it or not...and the preferred product of many Hollywooders. ;-)

And, thanks. I like to know I'm cool. You're not so bad yaself!!!


Daffy Duck profile image

Daffy Duck 5 years ago from Cornelius, Oregon

If you install a funhouse mirror make sure it's the kind that makes you look slimmer and not bigger.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@MO - Darn - I am easily influenced... now I am going to have to go out and find one of these comfy hollywood preferred product so I can fit in and feel awesome... lol

@Daffy Duck - oh yeah - that is a great warning. If you install the wrong funhouse mirror, you will decrease your chances of feeling better about yourself. Therefore, paying attention is critical! LOL Or you can just get one of those weird ones that just doesn't do anybody justice... then you can laugh at yourself and it will just be all fun! LOL


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Yes, wearing black is an old favourite, I am convinced it works, hence my wardrobe is mostly black stuff! I think I will give the corset a miss though!! all great fun and voted up!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

I just love the "Yo mamma so fat" jokes! I too have an issue with gravity. But you know it's really an issue of health. Living with pain is not fun and getting rid of the excess tonnage would improve the pain, but that's also painful. I'm doomed. Oh well, what the hell. Black is my favorite color!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

What great strategies, barbergirl! I am a lifelong fan of black clothing - it is slimming, classy and elegant. And it can camouflage a myriad of sins - such as eating too much chocolate.

Also, great for traveling - it seldom needs cleaning until you arrive home. Rated up.


Niki Hampton profile image

Niki Hampton 5 years ago from Oregon

I swear gym mirrors make you look thinner too. lol I always have a "moment" when I'm in there. It's probably to help you stay dedicated.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

BBG - too funny! I mean about poor Eli:) he is a prince! I don't think I could have even gotten Dave to do that! I asked him to get me a "girl" product once at the corner store - he said, "no! People know me there!" yeah - he'd never do it. I'm gonna ask just to see tho......!

I wear black a lot - I mean ALOT! It matches any other color:) can you say garranimals? Remember those?


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Movie Master - I love black. That is one of the favorites to my wardrobe. Maybe it is because it hides so much, or maybe because it makes me look tanner. And it is just darn fun! LOL

@Austinstar - I love "yo momma jokes" like "yo momma so fat, she sat on a rainbow and out popped skittles!" Speaking of skittles... I guess I better go get my corset! LOL

@drbj - You are very correct. Most black outfits should be fitted so you have pockets to keep your chocolate. That way you always have an instant supply! LOL

@Niki - That is a great theory. I never even thought of that. Maybe that is why when I see myself working out, it doesn't seem so bad when I get home!

@RealHousewife - What - Dave wont get "girl" products? I make Eli get them all the time. He said it doesn't bother him one bit. He asked me why I make him get it and I said that because they know you aren't the one using them. If I got pick up girl products they are picturing me using them... lol

Garranamils - great parts of the wardrobe - too bad they don't make them in my size... lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Good way to spin it barber girl! Lol! Yes he will buy whatever now, but I've beat him down for so many years nothing really phases him. Something new - however might put him over the edge.

I think my house is going to get blown away - tornado like weather again! There's pieces of stuff flying from the wind picking it up. Everything on the back porch is now on the back lawn.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Maybe the world is coming to an end... and it is starting in the middle of the states with all the tornados. I swear - this has been the worst year from them so far! Hold on tight - hate to see you blow away!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Well so far so good here - but last night half a hospital was blown away about 25 miles from here. Crazy storms here! I had to hurry and take a shower - it's upstairs and I keep picturing the top of the house being gone:). My house is sided and I can hear the wind filling the space between the siding and the walls - it's creepy!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Wow - that is super crazy. Now I feel bad because I have been complaining that it has been rainy and cold in Southern California! Not usual weather. The end of the world is coming... the end of the world is coming... lol


Cloverleaf profile image

Cloverleaf 5 years ago from Calgary, AB, Canada

I am convinced that some mirrors in changing rooms are like the fun house mirrors - why is it that when I am trying something on I look great and then the moment I get home I feel like I've put on 5 pounds? Oh well, black seems to help :-)

Great hub, voted up!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Not until 12/21! The world is ending then - I watched a show on the Discovery Channel about it:) ****


dearabbysmom profile image

dearabbysmom 5 years ago from Indiana

You've done it again! Another clever spin on a universal quest. Good use of humor to point out the obvious--that looking slimmer is actually easier when you ARE slimmer! We humans really are ridiculous in our never-ending search for the shortcut. Great Hub!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Cloverleaf - I have noticed the same thing... although I can't say that stopping for that shake and burger after I have purchased a new great looking outfit might have made a bit of a difference! :)

@Realhousewife - Well said. I really should only believe the stuff that I see on TV ;)

@Dearabbysmom - I am one of those ridiculous people. Which is funny because I love to workout and I pay attention to fitness and nutrition, but occasionally I get that little kick to find that short cut. I guess I am a bit of a dreamer myself. I am an expert and failed shortcuts! LOL


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 5 years ago from Oakley, CA

LOL great tongue-in-cheek bit, there! Loved it. Especially the fun-house mirror bit. Still laughing. I remember going to the fun house!

Just the other day, I saw the old "wearing black" bit featured on the Yahoo news page as one of several "fashion myths." They keep changing the rules on us! How are we supposed to get it "right?"

Just one note--black works because it absorbs, not reflects light. Light colors reflect, giving us our fine view of all those humps and hillocks on our forms.

The light just disappears into black, though; it's like a blockade. That's why the old-fashioned photographers put those black hoods over their heads--to keep stray light from getting into the camera and prematurely exposing their photo plates. ;-)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@DzyMsLizzy - thank you for pointing that out. I actually knew that but my thought must have been going faster than my typing process. However, that is a pretty cool fact on how photographers use to use the black hoods. I never realized that is the reason they used to do that.

And I agree, they really should stop changing rules on us. How will we ever become fashion geniuses if one day they say this makes us look skinny and the next day it makes us look fat! lol


Tages profile image

Tages 5 years ago from Texas

You forgot my all time favorite, sucking in the gut. Plus there is always the removal of unimportant internal organs, not only does it make you look slimmer, but it can make a fist full of dollars. Take care!


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Tages, that's genius. I have a spleen, a kidney, a gall bladder to spare.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

And then there's the vacuum technique for removal of fat cells! That is so gross...


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

It is gross, but it makes for great soap! :P (See Fight Club).


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

It is gross Austin! Really disgusting to me what people do to alter themselves. Craziness! Vanity kills!


mythicalstorm273 profile image

mythicalstorm273 5 years ago

Barbergirl... This was so funny!! Do I take it then that you have given up on the 'cheap' ways of looking slimmer and are sticking with your original plan? lol. I've actually been seeing a lot of slimming clothes at work lately... leggings that have a 'slimming' affect on the tummy, underwear that goes up to your neck, body suits... it is all the rage :-)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Just wear a wet suit:)


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Spanx is the way to go I tell you! They're even semi-comfortable! Although, Real, the wetsuit idea is fabulous!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Tages @ That is beyond genius. I can't believe I didn't remember to sell of your internal organs... stomach anybody... I will be selling my stomach for a great price. Extra fat included in the deal! :)

@Mo - Oh yeah - and don't forget the appendix... that is a must! LOL

@Austin - I wonder if a regular vacumn cleaner would work for that! LOL

@Realhousewife - That is a great point vanity does kill... especially if the mirror breaks and flys at you... lol

@Myth - Nope, I haven't given up on the cheap versions - just in search of a better one that works... lol. I love those new styles - especially the underwear that goes up to your neck... lol

@Realhouse - That is a great idea. It will be the new fad in slimming effects!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

I definatley need to get me some spanx... lol


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

I asked for some spanx once, but he told me he wasn't into that, LOL.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I'll be giving out the spanx in this house. Beating some a@@ up in here!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Thank you sir, can I have another?


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

That's what they say! Ok here's a perfect joke.

Two boys - terrible behavior - parents don't know what to do with them so they decide to send them to stay with Grandpa. Grandpa will take care of them - he is a tough fellow who doesn't take any guff. Scary! So off to Grandpas the boys go. They get up for breakfast the first morning and Grandpa says what do you want for breakfast? The first boy says, "gimmie the fu&$ing cornflakes". The grandpa says, "what did you say!" the boy says it a little louder and the grandpa drags him out side and beats the hsit out of him. Gramps comes in the house and says to the second boy, "now what do YOU want for breakfast?" the boy says, "I don't know but I don't want the fu&$ing cornflakes!"


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

OMG Animal House!!! "Remember when the German's bombed Pearl Harbor" Oh too cool when I read these things. (Not fallin' for fight house, ugh)

The black slimming clothing.. yeah I find that the over sized black middle belt or bottom of top works with a white or lighter colored top and shows off cleavage, that's ALWAYS sure to draw the eye away from the points we don't want everyone else to notice. I too am guilty of trying to be far away from the skinnies on the beach! Then I use my hair as the detour cos men tend to like long hair! No matter how annoying it is! LOL.

I used to hang out with a girl who was quite heavy (I hate to even say that, she was amazingly cool, cute, funny) But she had this cute little bob cut that made her round face more round, but she ALWAYS had a grand piano smile! Men would FLOCK to her literally not kidding. But what it was, she had confidence in herself, she strutted around like she was just as happy go lucky as could be, regardless of what she wore. So I think it's all in the confidence too. She had guys asking her out all the time. At the time I was like 125 and at 5'5" I was like WHUUUU? LOL.. then when I was thinking about her one day, I COULD NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME picture her face without that smile and cute hair cut! So it was it! That was her "thin beauty".. it wasn't her body, it was her smile, her vivacious attitude and the way she carried herself like anyone else. Once she began to rub off on me, and I realized that, I began to get asked out a lot more which made it so much easier to jump back into the dating scene after the divorce. Right now however, my dentist has made me cut out the soda for my teeth, so just on that note, the 1 a week I have to keep the caffeine headache at bay, I found that with my 15 minutes on the ol' treadmill sure does help! Maybe this time next summer I'll fit into all my "cool" clothes. lol Great hub BBG!

DON'T LISTEN TO THE BLACK IS NOT SLIMMING, if you got white elsewhere, IT IS!!! :)


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

And don't forget vertical stripes! They make you look taller and thinner!!!!!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Love the joke! However, I think I got flat butt syndrome from all the spanx when I was younger... lol

@Katherella - it is amazing how a good personality often times slims you down. They do say laughter is the best medicine - so it must be true!

@Austinstar- That is great fashion advice - I usually only wear strips when they are parrallel to each other... lol


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

I only got one "spanx" as a child. Are you saying that's why my a$$ is so big, BBG? HAHAHA!!!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Hmmm... I think that is a development of a theory right there... does the amount of spanx directly relate to your butt size! LOL


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

HAHA, BBG. I'm thinking maybe. :-)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

LOL - I am wondering if I can take it far enough to create a hub out of it... lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Yeah - Mo you should have misbehaved more often! It's got a lifetime slimming effect:) why me and barber need the booty pop!


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

LOL, Real. Nah, with a different booty, I'da caught a different husband. This worked out pretty well! ;-)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

my booty had nothing to do with catching a husband for me... it was my love for a banana split - hold da nutz... lol


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

LMAO, BBG. Love it!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

LOL - well know for sure Dave was checking out the back porch swing long before we dated:) he admitted it:) haha! He's a trunk junky!


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

I guess I got lucky with Scott cos he never ever says a thing about weight, either way. He said what drew him into me when we got together was my "top of the head girly pony tail!" He said he would of done anything to get me to be his girl cos that and my eyes were the clincher, and the fact I'm a giggler! For like no apparent reason.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

You are Kat! That's funny. I'm not a giggled - I'm way sarcastic - ok you could say I'm a dry witty bi&$@!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Ha ha - I definitely had no junk in the trunk... and my pony tail was never that high... however, I am a giggler... at least I was when I was younger... LOL... and sarcasm is my speciality. I wish they had a font for that!


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

That would be awesome, but between certain hubbers among us, it might be all you saw (at least in our comments sections)! LOL


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Or, Real, you could say you're a wry, witty witch and play with alliteration! ;-)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Yeah - it could be dangerous... suddenly people would be complaining of eyestrain from all the sarcasm flowing... lol... especially around here! LOL


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Right - you know the hub I wrote on what to do when your daughter starts dating? Yep - someone thought I was serious! Jeeze! I had to say - come on woMAN! You got to know I'm exaggerating! I hate when you have to explain that your kidding.

Yeah I really finger print and mug shot. Sweet.


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 5 years ago from United States

A funny hub, BBG28 :) Loved reading it esp the installing a mirror in the house...LOL


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Real - WAIT - UR NOT SERIOUS! Damn - I was taking notes on that. I really was going to use all those tips for my own kids. Ok - back to the drawing board I guess... lol :)

@Ruchira - The fun house mirror is the most important aspect of feeling good. Just make sure if you do that - you instal the right one. It is all about perception here! I am glad you enjoyed it!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Heh he we did follow her a few rimes:). The little girls wanted to walk to the convenience store alone a couple days ago - so we said yes but really Dave planned to follow them like secret agent man - he sat in a lot slumped down in the seat across the street while he surveilled them. Suddenly, they sat down on the sidewalk, Daves phone started to ring - he answered to Serious Sydney saying, "Dad are you sitting over there in your truck?" then she said, the red one with the black hard shell and Christmas tree air freshener? He looked out the window and Maddy was waving at him! LOL!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

That is too funny. I hope when my kids get old enough I will have good stories like that to tell to their future spouses. I haven't really figured out a way to embarrass them too much yet... but it is fun to get them all worked up! LOL


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Not sure how I missed seeing this one before but I must say it was pretty entertaining. What a gem of a husband you have. Mine won't even use coupons let alone take anything back to a store. He makes me do all the returns. I wear black so often I swear people think that I am in mourning. Great article!


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

LOL, Susan, that bit about people thinking you're in mourning is funny as heck!


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Susan, you need a black vale ;) Oh there should be a way to fix the fonts on things to emphasize sarcasm or wording, but really BBG you do already pretty good with the sarcasm I don't think you need it. And you're totally not the pony tail type girl, I don't think.. I mean, I do have my steel toed work boots that my ex liked, but he said it was funny that I was half that way, then sit there and paint my nails and well, I guess I'm a girly girl, but no problem kickin' someone where they need it when they need it. Hey, but I'm just me. At the time my hair was short and curly so it was all over the place, now it's long straight and down to my rear so it's IN everyplace. So I don't think at certain ::ahem:: times, it's doing to do that cute thing it did when I was 20.. I'm not 20 anymore lol, so ::sultry sarcastic voice:: "I've got to be suuullttry now"... and maybe horse whip him with the old pony tail! LOL ouch! OMG.. my friend and I were at the store and I flipped my hair out of my face and it hit some guy in the face and HIS GIRL PUNCHED HIM IN THE ARM lol I didn't see it, my friend just started cracking up, I was like "what now" LOL.. Like it was HIS fault! please! Sheesh!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Just ask Susan - Funny how you mention the wearing black thing... apparently I wear alot of black as well... my daughter looked at me the other day when we were swimming (I have a hot pink top and black skirt - very momlike :) at least when it comes to swimwear) and my 9 year old said to me I look so much better in hot pink then I do in black. I guess the neon colors really are slimming... lol

@MO - I must be in constant mouring as well... my wardrobe is filled with black! LOL

@Katherella - I am a pony tail with combat boots kind of girl. My hair is always in a ponytail unless for some odd reason it is cute too short to wear one. If it does end up being worn down it only takes a few hours before it is put up into a pony tail. the only girly girl thing about me is when I attempted to wear those summer dresses that are all the rage right now... yep... I still feel odd wearing a dress! LOL


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Know what, BBG, I'm the same exact way, and I've never been in the Army...lol


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Ha ha - I think I was born that way... combat boots and everything :)


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Mine are Harley Boots, but I totally feel ya, girl. I've just never been much of a girly girl. I tried really hard as a teenager, but once I hit my 20's, I let myself be me, and it's never been me.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

I have 3 skirts.. and I don't really wear them out. I'm normally just a jeans & tshirt person, but yeah my hair is in my face if it's not in a pony tail.. he has the me that was 20 in mind! Now it's the outta my face pony tail! I do wear it down but not long either. But when it comes to girly stuff like shoes and purses, jewelry it's me. But I'll never forget working at factories with khakie shorts n' boots lol, and make up except mascara, I hate that crap on my eyelashes! lol. Everything and anything that can stick to it WILL stick to it.. um no! lol I think I own a dress.. not sure I'd have to really look LOL.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@MO - are you a biker? My husband is trying to convince me we need a bike - better gas mileage. If he gets one... I think I need Harley boots so I can be a badass... lol

@Katherella - I own a dress - a few actually - but they more or less collect dust... so maybe they arent' dresses... they are more like rags hanging up in the closet! LOL


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Girl, I would be if we could afford one...eventually, we're gonna get one. Then another so I can have my own! They're really inexpensive. My fashion sense used to be really confused. Wore Harley boots with an Army flight jacket...hehe


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Ha ha - at least your not going out and wearing combat boots with dresses... lol... oh wait... isn't that in style these days! LOL


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

No, no honey. That was the style in the early 90's for the "alternative" girls...lol I frankly don't care. I dress for comfort! :-) As long as I match, I smell good, and my hair's clean, it's all good!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I wear shorts and t shirts or sweats - blue jeans. I go out into the world mainly to hunt and catch food (Ok I go to Schnucks) but the meats and vegetables don't really care what I have on!


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

See....dress for comfort. Most important tip for life. But wear a long shirt so no one sees your big ass and muffin top. Now...you girls don't have to worry about that, but I keep it in mind. ;-)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Ha ha - dressing for comfort all the way! I always have my jeans but lately I have been really drawn to the whole yoga pants thing! Those things are just amazing. However, I am not looking forward to summer cause with the insanse heat - there isn't an item of clothing out there that is designed to be comfortable! LOL


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

LMAO, you're telling the truth about Yoga pants....they ain't made for heat, less you're doing Bikram Yoga...lol


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

I'll bet combat boots are fun. They seem to be ideal for marching and stuff.

Now custom made cowboy boots are the way to go.

What's Bikram Yoga?


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

It's Yoga that you do in a studio where the heat is kicked up to 105 degrees. It's also known as Hot Yoga. I made the smartass comment about the Yoga Pants, but I think people who actually do Bikram wear a LOT LESS.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Oh Hot Pants are coming back into style:)


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

I'm not sure there IS a style anymore LOL! I stepped outside earlier today and thought the heat would knock me down! I have to have the actual combat boots and army pants because of spiders and snakes, a few brown recluse bites and ah, yeah it teaches you to gear up to mow the lawn!!

Yeah what is Bikram yoga? I need something besides the tread mill.. cos my dr. is startin' to yell at me. I just had a perfect clean bill of health in my blood test results, everything is ace except for a over the top cholesterol #! And what really stinks is I've been downing water and getting away from the soda cos my dentist barked at me lol it eats the enamel off your teeth! But I can do 15-20 on the tread mill and it's good for keeping the ol ticker going but I'm trying to strengthen those muscles around my shoulder so when I wake up it doesn't take 2 hours for the pain meds to relax my neck n' back enough to put my shoulders back in their socket. Sleep is pure hell for me. I'm sure that's my ticket to heaven right? :)


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Katharella, run, do not walk to the nearest Walmart or Target and buy a blow up mattress. Sleeping on air is the only way to keep those shoulder muscles from cramping up during the night.

Water beds used to do the trick, but they have gone out of fashion for good reasons.

When I was consulting and flying all over, I never went anywhere without my air mattress. I slept good all the time no matter what kind of stupid mattresses were in the hotels.

I like the Coleman twin size the best. It's $20 bucks and well worth it. Leave a little softness in it instead of blowing it up all the way. It's like sleeping on a cloud.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Mo - I was going to ask what bikram yoga was and then somebody beat me to the punch! I have however heard of couple yoga... I wonder if that is as hot! Like seriously, I thought those poses were only for dancers or something... here balance off your spouses big toe... damn - he is sweating too much... lol

@Austinstar - Combat boots are the bomb... they are good for hiking, marching, running and kicking some @ss! LOL I love combat boots... I need to get another pair since mine are almost dead!

@RHW - I want a pair of hot pants - I hope they come back in style. HOw fun would that be!

@Katherella - your story of cutting your lawn with every creature known to man gave me the shivers. I hate bugs. I would probably beg and plead until I found someone to do it for me. I was freaking out the other day because my father in law found 6 black widows under a bench. DUDE - I have sat there... but luckily my ass was spared!

Oh yeah - and eat Cheerios - I hear it does wonders for the cholestrol - at least that is what the commercials say! :)

@Austinstar - that is interesting. I never realized that about air mattresses... although it is probably better when you are sleeping on them solo. Every time my husband and I go camping I wake up sore because all the air seeps out in the middle of the night and then I wake up with a rock in the middle of my back. Then again - they probably make much better air mattresses now than mine which is like 15 years old! Time for an upgrade!


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

My boyfriend and I slept on an air mattress for six months regularly, and it was awesome to be honest. Austin's right, it's like sleeping on a cloud. Just get one of the double thick ones and you're all set.

I don't think Couple's Yoga would be that hot. Just the Bikram from what I've heard.

Ugh. Hot pants.

Man, ladies, what a fun comments section this is!


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

After 7 years of this shoulder thing I would definitely take all your advice and get one.. and I don't mean to sound "know it all" or nothing, but I went through like 5 different KINDS of air mattresses and the only way I can get ANY quality sleep (that still requires putting shoulders back in place) is with those long pillows in a recliner so I don't have to lay all the way backwards. I have arthritis down my spine so if I lay down, even with pillows surrounding me or manipulated to where they need to be, I cannot MOVE when I wake and if no one is around to help me get up, I'm stuck moving slower than uncle joe at the junction! (ha) :( but my neck has to be cradled.. I don't know what the actual name is for those two shoulder blade bones that stick out in your back are, but if they are at all laid my body weight on them or pushed in from anything EVERYTHING in there goes out of place. The specialist said there are too many small bones that cannot be fixed so no surgeries can help, and the arthritis. I have double shoulder impingments and went to PT 3X and they said I got full range of motion but I can't get the strength to get my shoulders to keep them from slipping out of the sockets. My ex daughter in law even had a super high quality air mattress and it took her and my kid to get me off the floor. Then me and my bf slept on one 3 years ago at a friends house.. I thought it'd be great, and I woke up and had to sit face down leaning on their kids play table for 4 hours before I could move, I didn't have anything for pain. I have to sleep almost sitting up. My ex had a car accident and his sister got him one of those "mold to your body" mattresses, and it was great to GO to sleep on, but getting out of it was another hell. I've not been able to sleep on my back for over 7 years. Thanks for all the help though, I'd do it if I didn't already go there, thanks really!!! :) I truly hate hate hate pain med too, cos it's another whole type of hell I have no idea HOW HOW HOW do people get addicted. I cuss that damn bottle LITERALLY. Sometime I just sit and stare at it and be in pain until I can't take it any longer. I've been talking with an injured Veteran who we're trying to help each other with some things. I'm trying to get him to go vegetarian just to digest food right now. It's helped me. And I LOVE my chicken in the crock pot!! I had some this weekend. ugh.. will pay this week for it.

bbg: ugh.. yeah I've seen parts going flying out from my mower.. I got a riding lawn mower, and I can steer ok but the next day I pay dearly for it. (cos of changing gears and blade heights)


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

OH.. the heat on that yoga.. well. heat adds to the injury. I just want my shoulders to get muscle around them! If I stop doing stuff it gets worse so I do have to keep on the move.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Oh and BBG.. yeah I have 4 boxes of Cheerios and I use that 2% milk and very little of it. It's the only cereal I buy LOL.. I have tons of little race cars LOL! The bugs don't creep me out anymore since I got used to the south, but I still don't wanna get another recluse bite, people die from them. You're butt is lucky it didn't get widow'd girl!!! Yowwwza. I set off those bug bombs inside my house though so at least it keeps them out. My buddy has a lawn business, so if there's anything big he'll help out with that, but I really try to keep mobile as I can. I'm 52, and feel 92 sometimes don't wanna feel 102 lol. Weird tho, I actually LIKE Cheerios. Had to feed them to my dad, that's what got me started with them. He had 2 triple bypasses.

Thanks you guys for trying to help me about my shoulders, believe me if I have no tried it I would be!!!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

I can't imagine the Bikram yoga - that would be like yoga in a sauna and I have a hard enough time just sitting in there... lol... torture.

@Katherella - I can't really understand your pain... however because of what I went through I have a different kind of pain. It isn't fun. But I feel bad for anybody that has to go through with that. So, feel better and keep eating those cheerios! LOL


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

I totally couldn't do that kinda yoga either.. the heat would kill! I'm going to start going down to the beach though and let the waves have their way with me LOL.. cos it's not heat I'm going to just sit there with a sun umbrella.

Trust me you don't wanna understand it. I'd rather have childbirth everyday for the rest of my life if that tells ya. At least you get a cute little bundle to look at. :) Thanks, yeah Cheerio's are good but I have to eat mostly watery things. And guzzle water like a case a week, it's a good thing I like tomato sandwiches on thin bread (really thin) and watermelon. Just keep your shoulder muscles strong! Seriously.. you got youth on your side so keep it there!!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

ok, Kat, I may have something for you. You need muscle mass? You need to eat protein. There is a lot of good quality vegetable protein around like nuts. Walnuts are especially good.

Also, my dietician just recommended Fish Oil - Omega3, Krill Oil, and lots of it! I'm up to 4 Fish Oil pills a day and there is even a prescription kind available. This will give your joints the lubricant they need.

Next, you need Prozac. I had severe shoulder pain for 10 years which caused depression. Then they put me on Prozac. About 4 weeks later, I woke up and thought something was totally WRONG with me. It took me a while to figure out that my shoulders no longer had even a twinge of pain! After a bit of research, I learned that Prozac is prescribed for chronic pain and it works! Plus there is the added benefit of just feeling better over all. I know when my Prozac level is too low now because my shoulders start hurting again.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

BBG and Kat, the whole Bikram Yoga thing is just ridiculous to me, but who am I to point fingers at someone's health or religious practices, yanno?

Austin, I had no idea that Prozac worked to help relieve pain like Cymbalta does...I didn't know SSRI's had that ability. I thought it was only SNRI's. VERY interesting. Thanks for the head's up, chica.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Prozac seems to be good for everything - even my mom's cat takes it! Maybe I should order some.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

LMAO....what the hell does your Mom's cat take Prozac for, Real?


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Ahhhhh - I have been convinced - I really need prozac - no pain in the head or the body! I really wish I would have known that earlier! LOL I could have been taking that for years!!!! LOL


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Every tome she goes out of town and boards the cat - she gets crazy and attacks my mom! Last time my mom was protecting herself by holding a chair in front of her in e air:) lol the lion tamer! Pearl the cat might be having seizures:( Prozac seems to work well.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Every tome she goes out of town and boards the cat - she gets crazy and attacks my mom! Last time my mom was protecting herself by holding a chair in front of her in e air:) lol the lion tamer! Pearl the cat might be having seizures:( Prozac seems to work well.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

How bizarre...lol I'm so glad they were able to find something that helps though. Yay for Prozac!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

That is a great vision I have got in my head now - your mom the cat tamer... lol.. thank God there is always Prozac!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

My best friends dog was on Prozac too! He kept licking his own self until he bled! Debbie took him to the vet and they put him on Prozac! She said it was very expensive so she hoped it would help his dumb a@@! Lol! True story cats and dogs on Prozac!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

I'm on the committee to get Prozac added to the nation's water supply!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Oh then we could just bathe in it! Add some preservatives to the water too - then we could stay younger looking and sane:)


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

BBG: lol!

Austin*: Something needs added to the water supply besides flouride! lol.. but I cannot take any SSRI or SNRI's either. I wish, tho. Without going into my medical history, I have to take a tricyclic which after ( $20,000. in medical tests some pretty far out ones at Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit) and 15 doctors including shrinks and neurologist to get me to have a nights sleep without the night terrors..it's on RH's sleep page. It all came down to the conclusion that I have to even base the dosage on the day. I can't be like other people and start out small n' work up in mg's because too much makes matters worse. I heard of someone getting started on 50mgs a day I knew then it was wrong, and I said so, but it ended up badly and totally ruined an already damaged personality. I certainly AM going to try the Fish Oil & Omega3, Krill Oil. If it won't interfere with my other meds my Dr. will give me prescriptions for it.

IT IS TRUE like RH said, that animals will fixate on a spot and lick it until they can actually have a spot bleeding and sometimes, worse lead to amputation. My dog has it, but cannot be put on anything due to her other meds, but she's smart and when I tell her if she licks her foot anymore, then I'm making her wear socks. (lol really) So I put a sock on her and taped it on for a day, and then I wouldn't let her out of my sight. When I let her have it off I said I would put them on ALL HER FEET if she licked more. Finally after about 4 years of that she has stopped doing it. But now won't hardly leave my side anyway. (which is a Rotties personality to be close to their owner.) But yeah, people do put their animals on anti-depressants, and I truly believe they get depressed like other people do.

Thanks tho for bringing it to my attention if I hadn't of already been through 20 years of tests and trial and err meds lol I would drink gasoline if I thought it'd help. I really believe I need muscle mass in my shoulders. Was yours an injury too? For fear of sounding like the tin man.. "mine started with chopping down that tree" lol only it didnt' start to rain! LOL. Thanks for the other tips though I'm going to ask my Dr for it, it would help my arthritis in my spine and neck and knee! ugh he said I might have to get my knee drained and I really am careful with it!! So any advice I am really working on trying. My diet consists of mostly watery things and veggies. I do make a chicken on occasion but dog gets most of it! lol. THANKS all of you, and I'm calling my dr in the morning he might call those in for me. He wants my weight and cholesterol DOWN or he'll yell at me and give me that LOOK again. lol.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Kat - What is you diagnosis?

Yes, my shoulder pain was from a sports injury. I used to swim a mile or more a day and I got micro tears in all my shoulder muscles, then spinal inpingement of the nerves. Sometimes it feels like the nerves in my shoulders and arms are on fire. Also along my collar bones.

I gained so much weight after not being able to swim, quitting smoking, two back surgeries, 5 hand surgeries, menopause and depression that I now have to consider gastric bypass to lose the weight. Well that just frys my butt. I'm currently sticking to my diet and have lost 15 pounds and I intend to keep going. I hate being sick and in pain all the time and I guess you do too.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

OMG YOU UNDERSTAND MY PAIN!!!!!!!! I'm sorry that you do! But it's so hard to explain to others! I've no problem with telling you but I don't want to do it publicly because a certain person who has been stalking me for about 2 years, obsesses over me (as if I have something to obsess over)lol, and last time I spoke to her was 3 days after my eye surgery when I thought she was going to ask how I was, she said "I only called to PICK YOUR BRAIN." So sadly I had to piss off her daughter to get the truth out of her. Turns out it's my fault she "thought" she was mad at her cheating husband that she tricked into marrying her, but "I' made her mad at him..it was all my fault you see so I just had to tell her to stay out of my life. I can't deal with people who do things like that, through her kid I found out she'd been badmouthing me to her for over 2 years so I really have trust issues, and she made that worse! So my ping plotter shows her computer still follows mine and if you would you can email me at itsmekatATaolDOTcom and I'll fill ya in. THANKS.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Hey, Austin, if you could get Prozac added to the nation's water supply, it would save me a hell of a lot of money on copays every month!! LOL That would be awesome!


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

LOL! Don't forget to double the dose in Detroit LOL :)


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Ain't that the truth, Kat!?!?!? Detroit could use some muscle rebuilding as well, if you ask me. :-)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Can you just imagine how much different the world would be if happy pills were added to the water! It would be so... weird... maybe then one day everybody would all start singing like they belonged in a musical. Now that would be awesome! If only they added happy pills to the water. How do I get on that committee!


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

I could live with that! I have a decent voice, and my husband usually claims that I don't sing nearly enough! And, like I said, it would mean I didn't have to pay so much out every month. Get me on the committee too!


LULU SUE1987 profile image

LULU SUE1987 5 years ago

I think I'd rather diet and exercise!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Mo- I don't know if people are in for the bargain of everybody randomly breaking out in song... lol! I am a little tone deaf! Ha ha

@Lulu - I agree - it is just much better to exercise and diet! :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Well I prefer the happy pill way! Lol! So much easier. Whew! Hey I'll take the pills and laugh my a@@ off while I watch y'all work yours off;). ********* LOL


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Ha ha - that sounds like a good plan! LOL


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I'll like keep score or something if I can still write. I'll check boxes as you reach your goals! Lol


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Alright - get that goal sheet ready... I need a few checks... lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Well where's the pills?! I can't start without those:) haha! Actually I can hardly take any kind of pills. Nothing with codeine or aspirin - I have to be careful or I could get ulcers. I had them in the esophagus so I don't want to deal with that again. The only thing I can take are tranquilizers and you can only be so tranquil, ya know? If I was planning to sleep? Well I'd be sleeping!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Ha ha - patience young one - I am on the committee to get them ;)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

LOL! Make 'em happy!


alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA

Obviously the best way to look slimmer is with a sensible eating plan and exercises. But before that final result, your advice is excellent. Voting this Up and Useful. Thanks for SHARING.


Fiddleman profile image

Fiddleman 4 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina

barbergirl, this is a classic!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@alocsin - Ah yes... it is good to make these things look the way we want... and optical illusion if you must! However, hard work and good food is the only true way to look slimmer. I think this was written on one of those days after I worked so hard to lose weight and wasn't being successful. While it came out funny and sarcastic... my true mood was frustration. But at least it was used in a great way! :)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@fiddleman - Thanks for stopping by. I love the concept behind this... LOL - but as always hardwork will prevail! Glad you enjoyed it! :)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@fiddleman - Thanks for stopping by. I love the concept behind this... LOL - but as always hardwork will prevail! Glad you enjoyed it! :)


Chris Hugh 4 years ago

Funny stuff. Very cute. I'm gonna feed all my friends cheesecake now. Let's hope they don't get suspicious.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Chris - Glad you got a good laugh out of this... and I really hope your friends don't catch you. A good way to do this is to get a piece for yourself, just half the size... ha ha ha


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 4 years ago from Southern California, USA

Walk a lot and wear clothes that fit. I think one problem is people still want to fit into their college jeans, and to be honest that is not realistic. Just be healthy and buy new clothes feel good.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@SweetiePie - I think that is one of the biggest problems... people are constantly trying to fit into clothes that just don't fit them right or are a size too small. A bigger size that fits better will always be more flattering! Well said!


Rebecca2904 profile image

Rebecca2904 4 years ago

Great hub! Really funny, and it's true that there aren't really any quick fixes - looking thinner and feeling great comes from a good diet, a carefully planned exercise regime and a lot of dedication. I hope you don't mind, but I've linked to this article in one of my Hubs (10 Tips and Tricks to Help you Find Your Style).


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Rebecca2904 - I am very flattered that you linked my hub to yours and I really appreciate the link. I will definitely have to look at your hub since I have yet to find my style. Glad you enjoyed this hub and even though when I wrote it, it was purely out of a sarcastic place, it really does have some great advice! :)


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 4 years ago from Houston, Texas

Hi Stacy,

Anyone who has tried to lose weight is sure to be smiling when reading this hub. When I was at my thinnest which goes back to college days, I actually wore a tight girdle. Anyone remember those? It does work because if you eat, you cannot eat that much at one time because it makes you feel full faster. Guess there is not that much room for stomach expansion. That...or wear a very tight belt. Same end result. Now at my age...I let it all hang out! Haha! LIstening to your horror story with regard to the Kymaro...what if you had had to go to the bathroom? Yikes! I guess scissors would have been the only answer. Your husband was a brave man to return that garment. :)


John Sarkis profile image

John Sarkis 4 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

Hi Barbergirl, and what a great hub this one is.

How about when you're underweight like I currently am and want to look a bit bigger, what then? Maybe you should write a hub about that subject?

Voted up and away

John


Askme profile image

Askme 4 years ago

Loved it! Voted up.

P.S I can related to the "As seen on TV" got the spanks and all it did was push the fat to the knees and the part of my tummy not encased in the spanks-result was a larger muffin top!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Peggy W - My husband is such a good sport for returning that product. I mean - when I first tried it on I wanted to cry because I felt just like a stuffed sausage. Thankfully, I didn't have to face them in the store. :) Currently, I am probably at the most fit I have been in all my life. Not the smallest, but definitely in the best shape. What can I say, I like to workout. :)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@John Sarkis - Hmmmmm.... I will have to think about that one. But honestly, if you want to look heavier stand next to someone smaller. Being that you are already underweight, I hope finding that person isn't too easy. If all else fails... dress in multiple layers.... like by the dozen! :)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Askme - I am so sorry that you can relate... however, I am also relieved because that makes me feel like I am not alone. Whoever thought that was a good idea... well... they were wrong! :)


bingskee profile image

bingskee 4 years ago from Quezon City, Philippines

i would prefer this list of quick fixes than the pills. when it comes to weight loss, i'd prefer working my a** out than take the pills. :D

my b*tts are big and i think wearing a booty pop is not an option. corsets would make me feel uncomfortable, i guess.


Kulsum Mehmood profile image

Kulsum Mehmood 4 years ago from Nagpur, India

Interesting point of view...this point of view. Nice tips really.


chamonixfirst profile image

chamonixfirst 4 years ago from Chamonix

I wish it was easier to just be thinner instead of just look thinner :(


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@bingskee - It seems that most days people are always looking for the quick fix. Unfortunately, it seems diet pills always end up at the top of that list. However, they are not really a safe option. Hopefully though this list makes people laugh a little and understand you don't always have to go for the diet pills.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Kulsum Mehmood - Glad you found it interesting.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@chamonixfirst - Ah yes - you are definitely not alone in that thought.


petweddingtheme4u profile image

petweddingtheme4u 4 years ago from Connecticut

This is a reality hub which made me laugh. I really got a kick out of the funhouse mirror. It is so true that I continued reading because I was interested in seeing what would come next. It is true in order to lose weight one has to be motivated and be patient!


Jacob 4 years ago

nice artie!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@petweddingtheme4u - I am glad that this got a laugh out of you. Sometimes it is the most serious of topics that we can take and spin it to something funny and unforgettable. Thanks for stopping by! :)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Jacob - Thank you - glad you enjoyed it! :)


divacratus profile image

divacratus 4 years ago from India

Haha! I loved this one. I specially take care not to stand next to thin people when photographs are being taken!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@divacratus - I usually try to avoid that as well. It doesn't show my good side ;)


Jacobb9205 profile image

Jacobb9205 20 months ago from Gloucestershire

Great ways to look slimmer! I didn't know about the black clothes one!

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