Humour in a B Cup - Boobs that are Almost Barely There To Double D's

An email prompted me to write this hub

Yes this Hub may not have been written, were it not for an email that I received today.

The Email

Do you need a laugh??

What Religion is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of Myer's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. ' ' What type of bra?' asked the clerk. 'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?' ' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material imaginable.

'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from .' Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: 'There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?'

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple. .

The Catholic type supports the masses;

The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;

The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;

The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.'

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

(A} Almost Boobs...

{B} Barely there...

{C} Can't Complain!..

{D} Dang!...

{DD} Double dang!...

{E} Enormous!...

{F} Fake...

{G} Get a Reduction...

{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!...

Well the truth is out

There goes all the mystic and wonderment we males have had throughout our reaching puberty and attaining maturity.

This I am sure really somes up the the great upliftment.

 

News Updates

I have been informed that bra's also come from countries, for those people (who wear bras) that have objections to the their intimate support be likened to their religious practise, and therefore might find that they have to change their religion to accommodate their breast.

American Bra - Supports the underprivileged masses

Russian Bra - Uplifts the masses

French Bra - Turns them into Art works

German Bra - Stopzthemfloppinground

Wonderbra - makes mountains out of mole hills! I too can sport cleavage

Old South Africa bra - Separates the masses

Unsophisticated bra - Over the shoulder, bolder holder

Italian Bra - Plain and sensible

The Atomic Bra - 90% Fallout

The mysteries of life Explained

We men are relatively easy to understand, we are set in motion by a simple Switch either On or Off.

However a Woman, ......... well you need to have that Owners Guide.

More by this Author


Comments 46 comments

Princessa profile image

Princessa 7 years ago from France

Thanks for the laugh... I suppose now I can say my bra is a "Dang Baptist" LOL


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong

Will you spit at me if I ask whether this is a non-fiction hub?


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Princessa, you may call it what is Dang Baptist or any other choice. The Bra manufacturers would most probably prefer another, more prosy type of description.

Benson being a medical type I would not spit on you, this is pure unadulterated fiction, with a dash of beauty.

Thanks for the comments.


Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

 

Very funny story, Rodney.  It reminds me of one of our local stores:

The shop is called "The Bust Stop".  It's a wonderful store full of religions of all kinds, even one made of coins that stretches from one end of the store to the other.  I wish there was a way for you to see their commercials.  Just a line from their theme song, "If you're sagging and you know it, come to us..."  Very funny.  Anyway, while I was in there one day, an employee answered the phone and literally turned red trying to keep her composure.  We had to ask what was so funny when she got off the phone.  Turns out a man was calling because his wife was pregnant and needed a larger bra.  A MUCH larger bra, as he put it.  He said he had no idea women could get that big.  As it happened, she needed a 34 C.  The rest of us in there had passed that in high school!  

 


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

thanks for the laugh though the pictures here are seriously no laughing matter! LOL :D


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

Love the rating system A-H. Fun hub. Thanks! MM


sheenarobins profile image

sheenarobins 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

I'm B, so does in mean it's barely there? L.O.L Anyway, men have no right to complain coz it's a favor to allow them a good breastfeeding. L.O.L again :)


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Proud Mom, Sounds like I am missing out on an excellent advert. Try and record the advert on tape, and then you can email it to me. Else video record it and download it on youtube, then we can all enjoy it.

Chris, thanks for appreciating art!

MM, I think that the ratings are fair and adequately expressive also.

Sheena, thanks for allowing us a good feeding. LOL ;-)

Thankds guys and gutesses for the comments.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

Really fun coming from you...Mr serious all the time guy...G-Ma :O) Hugs & Peace


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

G-Ma, will try and be less stuffy and publish some fun ones as well, thanks for the comment.


The Old Firm profile image

The Old Firm 7 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

Now I'm like your little green mate Rodney and all atwitter.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Old Firm, I was all t'w'itter when writing this, especially when adding the photos. Thanks for the comment.


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

As they say in Zimbabwe a tiitter ran through the court!

Great Hub but are you perhaps making mountains out of mole hllls. LOL


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

No, I actually thought I was trying to uplift the masses.

Thanks for the comments Sixty, all both of them LOL :-0)


sheenarobins profile image

sheenarobins 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

hahahah. I still laugh at this one just scanning it. thanks for the laughs!

and of course, you guys are welcome. Where would you be without the feeds? L.O.L


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Sheena, it is good to have a view of these things.

A song from my youth many many years ago, I think it was political folk song,The line went something like this.

Excuse if i appear to stare

but my eyes cant rest

on a woman's breast

with equanimity.

So there you have it!


The Old Firm profile image

The Old Firm 7 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

Wasn't that a pygmy, sos?

Moll Hill? I remember her well! Always sang flat in the back row of the chorus, and never let out a squeak in the back row of the cinema. As they say in la leche, "Anything more than a mouthful is surplus to requirements!"


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Old Firm, yes methinks you are correct. Thanks for the comment


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Love it Rod, just love it. Great pix too. woo-hoo hic-hic too much of sheena's drink


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Thanks CC glad that you enjoyed the tipple.


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

Tof yes of course but the pygmy was just sucking up. the titter was having a slap up good time!


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Ah are the tow of you now laking about a bit of S&T. A bit of storm in the "C' cup.


Constant Walker profile image

Constant Walker 7 years ago from Springfield, Oregon

Great stuff Rodney. I especially liked the letter-szes explained, and the switches image.


Patricia Costanzo profile image

Patricia Costanzo 7 years ago from Behind the Redwood Curtain

Rodney you have me giggling. Since weaning my son I was relieved to knock the double off my dang, but if I keep losing weight I'll have nothing to complain about! ;)


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

CW, glad you enjoyed the hub, the switches are a bit of a puzzle as I do not have my owners manual.

There was one attacherd when I got , however it was Blank, a pale pink A4 sheet with nothing on it. I discarded it and fater clearing out the recycle bin, was told that the instructions were on the sheet, you only had to change the font colour. Talk about devious.

Patricia, congrats on your baby, and glad you have given him the right start in life! Well lets hope you get to the size you wish to be. Send progress reports.

The hub has been reupdated as new information has come to light.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

Hilarious!!! Absolutely Hilarious!!! How creative this hub is and it is written by a man.:) I am C so that certainly makes me happy , you are right I can't complain.:)


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

AEvans, Iam glad you appreciate the hub and found it to be hilarious, was fun writing it and remembering some of the older jokes about them.

We do need to lend support to all you females on the hubs.


C.S.Alexis profile image

C.S.Alexis 7 years ago from NW Indiana

Great hub Rodney.Got a great laugh out of your humor!


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

CS, I am pleased that you enjoyed the humor and liked the hub. thanks for dropping in.


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Rodney, you must check these out and tell what size they are.

http://hubpages.com/community/Would-I-Have-More-Fa...


Karen Ellis profile image

Karen Ellis 7 years ago from Central Oregon

How funny is this? You made my day.


Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 7 years ago from California Gold Country

Very uplifting hub.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

CC the site was amazing I have given a suitable comment on the other hub, but a consrervative guess would 'EEEE" that is correct 4E's, I am sure .

Karen, I do agree that it is quite funny, glad you enjoyed your day after this hub1 lol.

Rochelle, yes it does seem to be an uplifting hub. This brings me to postscript that should have appeared in the main body of this hub - I forgot about untill reading your comment.

It is set in a convent, a very strict convent, I might add.

A novice, seeks an audience with Mother Superior, but refuses to to discuss her need for the audience with the Second in charge.

So after a couple of days, Mother Superior summonses the Novice to her study.

After all the due formalities of greeting and the adherence to the protocols, the Mother Superior requests that the Novice proceeds with what it was the was that caused the Novice to seek her guidance.

The Novice, blushing and as shamefaced looked down at the floor and uttered "Mother Superior, my bra needs changing as it is too small", stammered the Novice.

Mother Superior sternly gazed across her desk, stood up and in a very firm voice, "You had better say three Hail Marys, as a penance for using such luangage in this Sacred Place, come back to me after you have learned the proper manner in which to address this problem".

The chastened, Novice duly went to the chapel and said her Hail Marys and then office of the day thrown in for good measure. While reading the Office and the following the Old Testament Lesson for the day, she was inspired.

A day later she again approached Mother Superior for an audience.

When this was granted and the protocols adhered to Mother Superior again asked the Novice to state her request.

The Novice with a touch of temerity, said"Mother Superior, My cups runneth over".


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Haha. good one Rodney. BTW Benson has linked you on his new hub


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Thanks CC and Benson will have a look see.


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

On a relatd matter of you aforementioned joke of the Nun, did you know how the Pope was so upset when he made the edict of celebacy? He mourned for days and kept mumbling how they had left out the 'R'. After several days someone finally asked him what he meant. They left the 'R' out of celebrate! he told them. LOL


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

CC that is the problem of having to have others spell check, I suppose.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Thanks Irish Bread, for the comments, I am also a breast man myself, my only stipulation is that they be whatever size the are as long as they are real.

If I wanted tupperware I would look in the fridge.LOL


Cindy Riley profile image

Cindy Riley 6 years ago from Marana

very funny thanks for the laugh LOL [ I used to say Bolder Holder LOL ] but I guess I should rethink what I say now hu LOL. {DD} Double dang!... love the hub thanks.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 6 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Cindy,

Glad to have given you a laugh, really thanks for coming in and commenting. When i grew up and reached the age of seventeen or so, they were also called over the shoulder bolder holders, as well.


princess g profile image

princess g 6 years ago

this was great. I needed a laugh :)

You forgot the Army Bra: Supporting our Troops


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

A very uplifting Hub indeed! Sorry I missed it before. But it's given me a great laugh to get my day off to a good start.

Thanks a lot Rodney.

Reminds me of what we used to say as school boys (when the thought of bras was just too much!) that more than a Standard British Handful was a waste! LOL!

Love and peace

Tony


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 6 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

princess g, glad that you had a good laugh, and adequately supported.

Yes there was a whole lot of them in similar vain.

tonymac04, thanks for the comment, a hand full is good enough.


Cesar Caracas 4 years ago

Hey Rodney, You made me Laugh a lot, with the rating defining the bra sizes, specially in the point, {A} almost Boobs, you know the more beautiful models are this size, a big hug from Caracas Venezuela - Computer Network Service.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 4 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Thanks for reading this hub Cesar Caracas, it is true that the more slender and smaller busted modeles are Almost Almost.

Thanks for the comment.


Mixsr 20 months ago

Holy conisce data batman. Lol!

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