Do You Hate Your Scars? A Personal View

Trachea or upper body scar.
Trachea or upper body scar. | Source

The older we get the more likely we are to have scars or scar tissue. There can be many causes of scarring, from an accident to having surgery. Sometimes the scar is only small and can be covered up with makeup or it may fade to such an extent that it can no longer be seen.

But what about the scars that cover a large part of your body? Do you feel disgust when you look at them? Or are you just grateful that you are still alive and kicking so the scarring just does not matter?

We all have different views about scars. Especially if the person is very young. There are so many factors to take into consideration.

Will I get a boyfriend? What will he think when he sees my body. Will he be disgusted?

The fact is your whole life can be decided on how you see your scars, and what you think others will say or do.

school bullying
school bullying | Source

As a young teen I was completely obsessed with my large scar. As a baby, two days old, I was rushed to Great Ormond Street Hospital London, the childrens hospital. I was born without part of my trachea, or throat region. The doctors had to cut me all the way around my upper body to reach the hole and fuse it together.

As I grew up and started to develop, the scar started to stretch and pulled me slightly out of shape. Now you can imagine how I felt. I was a teenage girl just hitting puberty and having to get changed at school after swimming and gym.

As you can imagine the bullying started pretty quickly. I was a shy little thing so this just made it worse. I was called freak, ugly and so on. What made it worse was the fact that all the girls were taunting me with 'You will never get a boyfriend all boys will think you are disgusting and disfigured'.

That totally broke my confidence. I hated my scar. I wouldn't get changed in front of them anymore. When I dressed at home, I looked the other way and felt dirty and horrible.

And yes this did effect me when I left school and started to date. I wouldn't let any guys go too far in case they wanted to see my body. If we did get intimate I would keep the light off, or cover my top half up. To me, the scar made me look odd and not like all the other girls.

kidney scars
kidney scars | Source

Of course there are creams that you can buy that will stop scar itching, and sometimes make the scars lighter and less rigid.

I recommend that you use them if you feel discomfort from the scar. Purely for medical reasons.

Vitamin E is one of the best as it helps to repair skin tissue. The creams below are also great for skin healing.

Never use too much at each application. You don't want to irritate your skin further.

What Scars?

I eventually married a guy who I knew had no friends, was pretty spooky himself and was just pleased to get a girlfriend. I know, stupid, but at that time I really and truly believed that he was the only one I was worthy of.

It took me a long time to realise that my scar really wasn't that bad. But by that time I was 33 years old and suddenly my body scar wasn't the most important thing in the world. Why? Because I had a kidney operation. And believe me, that scar was ten times bigger.

But by this time something had changed. I had grown up. Mentally and physically. First of all after having a few more boyfriends, I noticed one thing. The most important thing in fact.

Guys do not notice your scars! They are so into what they are doing with you at the time that the actual scar tissue goes straight over their heads. In fact one guy who I was intimate with said afterwards. 'Thought you had a scar? you have been telling me about it for weeks, where is it?'

When I showed him both scars, he said 'Na that's nothing, why even tell me? I thought you meant all over your body, and to be honest I wouldn't have taken any notice of it'.

And that's my point. If a guy or girl actually loves you or even likes you enough, they won't take any notice, and more to the point, they won't care. Why should they? It's you they love. And that means all of you.

Scar Tissue a Sign of Bravery and Life

Scar tissue is something that makes you safe. It's a way for your body to heal so that you can carry on with your life. Simple as that. Its not something to be ashamed of. It took me long enough to figure this out, but it was mainly after my kidney op that I realised this.

I was alive. I would carry on as I always have. My life was safer now that my upside down kidney had been removed, turned back up the right way and put back in. My scar was my medal of bravery and life. The more scars you have the stronger you are. Simple as that.

Just remember. The scar is not the problem. Its your mind that causes the trouble. If you stand back and tell yourself that your life is ruined because of your scars then it will be.

You need to realise that the only person worried about them is you. Nobody else will be. So, Do I Hate My Scars?

No, I love them. Because they are part of me.


How Do You Feel About Your Scars?

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Comments 95 comments

Larry Fields profile image

Larry Fields 3 years ago from Northern California

Hi Nell,

I think that you're an amazing person. I probably wouldn't notice your scars either. And you probably wouldn't notice my hairy back.

Voted up, awesome, and shared.


Crystal Tatum profile image

Crystal Tatum 3 years ago from Georgia

Such a beautiful and brave piece of writing Nell. I have many scars that if I stop to take notice really can bother me. My body has been through a lot, but, like you said, I am still alive, and that's a beautiful thing. Definitely voting this one up and sharing! I love this kind of honest writing.


sunflowerforests profile image

sunflowerforests 3 years ago from The light in the forest of doubt.

Thank you for your openness with this topic. You have given very good advice here. Scars will be scars, but our attitude's determine how deep they cut us. Voted up.


Missin Behavin profile image

Missin Behavin 3 years ago from Canada

This is a great hub I also have some scars that used to bother me, but now I have grown to love them. Each one has a story behind them and its a reminder of what I have been through and even though may not been the best of times in my life I still made it through.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

It is so much harder when we are young. As I grew older I came to like my scars....they were a badge of a life well-lived. :) Great reflections, Nell.


Que Scout profile image

Que Scout 3 years ago from Sydney Australia

Without doing fresh research, vitamin E is the best performing scar remedy. It is deemed among one of the wonder drugs of our time, similar to water. It increases cell growth ten fold on both new and existing scars. Apparently picking up the correct DNA for older scars.

Unfortunately the cosmetic business have no scruples and their products are generally rubbish, and deceitful. The only trusted way to obtain vitamin E is in a pharmaceutical capsule. The kind you can find in the vitamin section of most stores. To apply, pierce the capsule on one end and squeeze the contents onto your finger, then onto the scar. Results of the vitamin E should be noticeable 14 to 30 days of daily applications. However, lifetime scars like Nell's may take longer.

Vitamin E is also recognized as a treatment for heart problems as it makes the heart mussels stronger. I keep a spare capsule in the kitchen as a first aid treatment of light skin burns. When I use it as as burn treatment I can really see the difference it makes. You know , you burn yourself and the pain is there for 1 - 3 hours. When I apply the vitamin E it still hurts for 15 minutes, and there is no redness or anything the next day.

Same thing for a cut to the skin, it just make call growth and healing so much faster. It is cheap, clean and natural. So if anyone want to trial it, I recommend so.

And Nell, I am 100% sure, 100000's miles away, that you are as beautiful with or without the scar!


Que Scout profile image

Que Scout 3 years ago from Sydney Australia

woops, check http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10417589

All new studies show vitamin E does not help scar tissue. Sorry.

Works fine on burns and cuts to the skin.


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 3 years ago from Los Angeles

Oh dear Nell,

My granddaughter had open heart surgery before she was 3 years old; her scar is very similar to the one you showed on the first picture and she became aware of it when kids in daycare started to point it out. We told her repeatedly that the scar made her "special" and now she believes it and is proud of it

Scars or not you are a beautiful person Nell and that's all that counts


CarlySullens profile image

CarlySullens 3 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

Thank you for writing this brave hub!!! I have so many scars on my body, I can not even count them all. I have learned to adapt physically, but emotionally it did take many years. Some scars are still physically painful! But for the most part they are a testament of strength and endurance.

My favorite scar of all are the scars that show my childbearing. Because they are reminders of my babies living inside of me and being born from me.


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

Scars are taken too serious and people with burns or really disfiguring ones are the sad ones, that can't cover them, aren't they? I got a big cut once that left a bad scar and a friend of mine whose dad was a doctor told me if I had used cocoa butter stick (usually have to ask druggist for it here) on it as it healed it wouldn't have scared, so when I had surgery years later I tried it and it does work. I usually just keep some around and use on it a little so it doesn't go bad in case I get any scrapes or cuts. Working in my flowers, I get lots of those! I think the older we get the more we realize no one should be judged by looks. We know for sure by now pretty is as pretty does. lol


alocsin profile image

alocsin 3 years ago from Orange County, CA

It's pretty amazing that what we think are physical disfigurements aren't noticed by people who care about us. For example, I've known this friend for a few years and only noticed a couple of weeks ago that he only had four fingers on each hand. I'm sure he has an interesting story to tell about it but haven't asked him because would feel odd admitting that I just noticed now something that was so obvious about him. Voting this Up and Interesting.


Vickiw 3 years ago

Hi Nell, you are so right that scars seem to loom in such a huge way to those who have them, especially in the younger years. Glad to hear that you have managed to put them in their order of priority in your life. Your caring and talent are what people notice about you, not the scars.


LongTimeMother profile image

LongTimeMother 3 years ago from Australia

Hi Nell. Great hub!

I love the way different hubs give me flashbacks to my youth. lol.

Back in the 70s I met an amazing young man in America who had a big scar across his neck after an accident that almost garotted him. He was such a lovely young man, but completely lacking in self esteem.

I caught up with his family again after about 20 years (we had mutual friends), and they thanked me for changing his life. Apparently as he grew older he told the story of the Aussie backpacker ... and I became a bit of a legend. lol.

Heck, it was the 70s! And he really was incredibly nice!

Here's my advice to everyone reading this hub who has scars that embarrass them, "give other people a bit more credit". We can actually see the nice person behind the scars. You just have to give people a chance to spend time with you and get to know you so they can see what a nice person you really are. :)

Voted up, Nell. You really are a brilliant writer!


LongTimeMother profile image

LongTimeMother 3 years ago from Australia

I also have a comment for Que Scout. Your advice about Vitamin E is good advice.

In my experience, fresh aloe vera from the actual plant, or aloe vera gel (preferably not the cream) are really good for helping scars heal and fade. The fresher the scar, the better the result. Slather it on and let it sink in.

Vitamin E is also really good.

I followed the link you provided, Que Scout, and I read what they wrote. All that I learned is that the test they conducted on "fifteen patients who had undergone skin cancer removal surgery" showed no improvement after using Vitamin E. Okay, I'm not arguing with them.

However, even that document makes reference to anecdotal stories about Vitamin E helping scars. And, quite frankly, it is a big mistake to ignore people's stories about their own personal experiences. I've seen good results, you've probably seen good results, and I believe it is our responsibility to share that news with people.

Of course, anyone who has a scar from skin cancer removal surgery probably wouldn't bother with Vitamin E after that test, and I understand that. But a heck of a lot of people have scars that were not caused by skin cancer surgery, and I'm sure they'd be happy to give it a try.

Anyway, Que Scout, I'm with you. Keep Vitamin E on hand. Mind you, you might want to get an aloe vera plant in your kitchen as well for the next time you burn yourself. It is brilliant for healing burns and cuts and scars etc. :)


teamrn profile image

teamrn 3 years ago from Chicago

Nell, bless you for telling your story. It's hard, but helps you to live with the scars and accept them as part of YOU. My whole body is covered with scars from 3rd degree burns I received at a young age. At first, being an adolescent I wanted to be so much like others and I wanted to cover them up, so what did I do? In a swimsuit (I was on a swim team) I didn't want my scars to call attention to myself, so I donned a LONG-SLEEVE WHITE TURTLENECK. I can only imagine the INCREASED attention that drew.

It's nearly 50 years later and while those scars are as ugly as they were when I got them, I now look at them as part of me, part of what made me what I am and I see the positive. It took me years before I'd wear a sleeveless summer dress and it was no picnic looking for wedding dresses. But, at our wedding some 40 years later, I danced and had a wonderful time with the plastic surgeon who saved my life.

Are you able to in some way, turn this big negative into a positive? The scars make up NELL and the more you try to hide them, the more they will be psychological barriers to your accepting the beauty that is NELL.

Annie


sallybea profile image

sallybea 3 years ago from Norfolk

You could have been writing my story Nell. As a young girl I had a rib removed, the result of a prior botched operation which did not heal. Like you I grew up feeling I was different because it prevented me from participating in things like swimming or sport. The psychological scars are always much harder to deal with than the actual scar. You are a brave lady.


poetvix profile image

poetvix 3 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

This made me think of that cutie, Keanu Reeves and what he had to say about scars in the movie "The Replacements." "Bruises heal, chicks dig scars." I don't know why other than I always loved the line and well, it's Keanu, come on. I love this article. Scars are badges of survival. I'm glad someone has enough sense to remind us to wear them proudly.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks Larry, lol! I am sure your hairy back is very attractive! seriously thanks so much as always, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi Crystal, thanks so much yes it takes time to come to terms with scars, but really they are as big as our minds let us think they are, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi Sunflower, that's it exactly, it took me long enough to realise that but now I realise just how stupid I was about them, thanks for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi Missin, that's amazing and so true, each one of them tells us that we are still okay and have got through them, thanks so much for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi billy, yes when I was a teen it was awful, now I am older I realise how stupid it was to run my life by them, thanks so much as always, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

HI Scout, yes vitamin E is really good I have used it myself even on my normal skin, its amazing how soft and smooth it makes it, as well as the scar tissue, and thank you for the compliment you are so sweet, lol!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Um Scout, I think we both know it does work, I think so called studies are not always correct, if it works for us then I think our opinion is probably the best! lol!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi Petra, thanks so much, yes the scar in the top picture is more or less the same as mine, only mine is much lighter, and that was a great way to tell your granddaughter about it, she is very special, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi Carly, yes childbearing scars are wonderful, it brings life and what's better than that? it is the emotional side that causes the problems as we both know, but as we age we realise how uninportant those scars are, thanks so much, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks Jackie, lol! I hadn't heard of cocoa butter working that's a great idea, thanks as always, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi alocsin, that's really interesting and does prove my point, we just don't notice these things especially if we have known the person for years, thanks as always, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks so much Vicki, yes it took a while but I got there in the end! lol!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi LTM, thanks so much, I love your story, and because of you it changed his life, that's amazing! as you said people should look at the person behind the scars, that's so important, thanks, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks again, yes I will also keep the aloe vera, I have never really taken a lot of notice of that, sounds wonderful, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi Annie, Aw thanks so much, and I love your story because it shows that the more we do to hide the scars the more people notice the strange way we dress, there is an actress on tv over here who has burn scars on her left arm I think, and she just carries on, its something we look at once then forget, and that's how it should be, thanks so much, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi sally, thanks so much, I honestly think that if young people knew how many others have scars they wouldn't feel so alone, thanks for sharing your story, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi poet, lol! Ooh ooh keanu! love him! and yes its a great line, facial scars on men do make them look ten times hotter! haha! seriously, we should all be proud of them as you say, it makes us, well, us! thanks!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

Nell you are so honest, that's why i love your hubs so much, not only are they interesting, they are witty and fun to read. Scars, i have a dandy...C Section....Of course i, like you, have a few heart scars but they're on the mend..LOL...Great Hub......


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks Ruby, lol! yes those heart ones! my scars don't bother me at all now, wish I had known that at sixteen, thanks so much as always, nell


teamrn profile image

teamrn 3 years ago from Chicago

Nell, someone said to me years ago, when I asked how he could love me with all of my scars, "Those who look for imperfections in other people do so to justify the imperfections in themselves."

Nell, it took me a long time to understand it, but I was drawing more attention to myself by trying to cover up my scars; once I shed the long-sleeve t-shirt to cover my scars so I could compete in the swim meet, more people noticed that I could swim; than noticed the scars that the t-shirt WASN'T hiding!

But, as far as the creams and lotions go, for a long time after surgery, I was using products with COCOA BUTTER. It's ability to soften scar tissue probably decreases as the scars get older, I'd imagine the EVERYTHING on the market does, but cocoa butter was quite good. I don't know if they make it or products with it, heck you could use plain mineral oil and save yourself a ton of money, but they make products that absorb with SHEA BUTTER. Ask a surgeon what he'd recommend or your PCP.

But, most important, be kind to yourself. Tell yourself that you LOVE Nell even with her scars. Look in the mirror and say, "I love you, Nell, scars and all." I think the Nell inside needs to hear that.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks team, that guy was very wise, its so true, many people who bully or are nasty to us for our scars are hiding their own problems too, I will have a go with the cocoa butter, my scars are old now so I doubt if they will go down much but I know the person who loves me doesn't care, so I really don't mind now, and yes its true, I do need to hear that sometimes, thanks so much again, nell


travmaj profile image

travmaj 3 years ago from australia

Hi Nell Rose -I like your honesty about scars. I had an appendectomy when I was nine and was very proud of my scar - whoops - until bikinis hit the big time. Long time ago now - these days I tend to think internal scars are more worrying. You certainly know how to get people thinking...thanks -


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi travmaj, yes those bikinis! lol! thanks so much for reading, nell


teamrn profile image

teamrn 3 years ago from Chicago

Nell, my husband doesn't care, he loves ME and the wonderful thing? he tells me that whenever i'm low or whenever I'm sad. We all need pick-me-ups and if we know what those successful pick me ups are, we'll enjoy this trip called 'life' a lot more! Annie


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

My scars are invisible. They healed over time. Then new ones emerged. It's called life. Your scars are trophys. They define where you have been and where you are now. You are a winner Nell Rose! :)


teamrn profile image

teamrn 3 years ago from Chicago

They are trophies and they indicated that you've won more battles than many have ever had to fight.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

I've just recently gotten scars. One small one from breast cancer. It is barely visible now and my breast did not lose any contouring as it was a lumpectomy. Then they had to do surgery to make sure there was no ovarian cancer, and there was not! But instead of a small scar, I have one up and down my stomach. I don't mind, as I am still alive. They have come a long way to applying creams to diminish the signs of scars. We have two types of scars the longer we live on this planet and those are those that are seen and then those that are not seen, but both prove we have lived. Without any scars in this life, we may not have much of a life? Just a thought.

Voted up ++++ and sharing

Blessings, Faith Reaper


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 3 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

It's the scars that are caused inside that cause the most damage, especially when you are bullied at school.

I'm glad that you have grown past that traumatic part of your life Nell.

I hope it is all uphill from now on.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks christopher, yes that's so true, I remember all the bullying I had to put up with, never really leaves you. looking back it was silly to worry about scars, especially with all the other rubbish that goes on in life! lol! thanks as always, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks Faith, yes that's it, isn't it? its only after we realise that we survive that a scar is just a sign that things went well, thanks so much for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks team that's so right, thanks for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi Linda, yes life causes the biggest scars, and thanks linda, lol!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

He sounds wonderful team, yes we do need those pickups, can I borrow him? lol! thanks again, nell


Life of an Artist profile image

Life of an Artist 3 years ago from Huntsville, AL

One of my ex-girlfriends has scars all across her left cheek and neck from being thrown out of a car during an accident when she was a young girl. She was insecure about them when we first met and started dating, but I thought her scars were beautiful. I loved kissing her scars - eventually she gained more confidence. Although we're no longer dating, we're still friends, and I'm so happy that she feels more secure about her scars.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa

Awesome hub about scars! Let me just confess that my scars kept me humble, and they still do. Without them I would have been a super-hot pole dancer, leading men into temptation 24/7... Serious!

Oh, I really don't love my scars, Nell. But I have to live with them, grateful, because if it was not for the operations that had caused the scars, I would have been crippled all my life and dead at the age of 16.... Sadly all surgeons are not neat cutters :)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thats great Artist, all it takes is someone who cares about you to show that the scars do not matter, I am sure you changed her way of thinking, that's amazing, thanks so much for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi Martie, I actually know exactly what you mean about the pole dancing! lol! seriously! I wanted to be a model, got asked once too! a guy who was photographing in the street in london gave me his card, okay, it may have been 'glamour' modeling but I wasn't tall enough for clothes modeling. But my scars put me off. I am sorry to hear that you had a bad time with the surgeons, its not easy when you have so many scars, but hey, you have a great fella! and I am sure he doesn't mind one bit, thanks so much as always, nell


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

Gosh! Little boys and girls can be so mean to each other. I'm sure these problematic kids come from dysfunctional homes. This was a great hub with useful information. I agree with you. When someone really likes you for who you are, then the scars are insignificant.


kimkennedy 3 years ago

hya nell, well girl you said it all. lol honestly, you are so right in what you said. its the person what important not your scar. i know its easy for me to say BUT ITS TRUE nell. you sound boss to me (scouse expression for your nice, brill, lovely etc) its the young ones who think its the end of your life if you have a scar or different in any other way, STUPID ISN'T IT?? anyway am really glad your happy in your skin now nell. best wishes hun, kim. xx


teamrn profile image

teamrn 3 years ago from Chicago

Life of an Artist, It is so tremendously unfortunate when someone has facial or body scars AT ALL and it is rare that self-esteem and confidence don't take a beating. You should be preside and there should be more people who accept like you did, life's reality; not life's utopia or perfect world. There is no life that is perfect, but you contributed so wonderfully to your girlfriend's life. On behalf of those who AREN'T supported by their SO, I salute and applaud you for the gift you gave.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida

Thanks for being so candid about your scars, Nell. I know that your revelations will be helpful to those readers who may not understand that every one of us if we live long enough will endure travails that will leave scars, both physical and mental. The scars are not important. It's how you feel about them that matters in the long run.


Life of an Artist profile image

Life of an Artist 3 years ago from Huntsville, AL

@teamrn - I really appreciate that! What matters most is the beauty you have within...scars are not the definition of who you are.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi drbj, thanks so much and yes you are totally right. as we grow older we realise what is important. I just found out today that my best friend is really sick, that's what is important not scars that are old, thanks as always, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Well said team, thanks


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi kim, lol! I like that saying, boss! lol! thanks so much, and yes your totally right, best wishes back at ya!


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

This could well help some young people realize that everything is all right with them. What you have already gone through, could be the turning point for so many. Awesome and up!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks Deb, yes I remember how I felt about my scars, so hopefully it will help others when they are young, it really doesn't matter how many scars they have, they will learn that as they get older hopefully, thanks as always, nell


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

I admire your great attitude, Nell! I agree with Deb - this hub will be very encouraging for young people. Thanks for sharing your experiences and suggestions.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks Alicia, I am glad you liked it, nell


midget38 profile image

midget38 3 years ago from Singapore

I have a huge scar,hidden by my hair,sustained over several brain tumor operations. I agree, we should have a positive attitude towards them and let go of the emotional scars as well. Well said, Nell!


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 3 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

This is a wonderful hub which I am sure will help many in building up their confidence, especially the young ones.

When we are young those scars seem so big and ugly and we build it up all out of proportion in our minds especially when we reach the dating age.

I had 14 operations on my eyes before the age of four. All through my life I have had people comment on the odd shaper of my pupils, I guess because were seen as an anomaly rather than a scar. Had they been an obvious scar I'm sure they wouldn't have asked and gone away with all sorts running through their imaginations. I hated it as soon as I noticed sometone pearing into my eyes I would think 'here we go again'. But it no longer bothers me just makes me a little different. Lol

A couple of years ago I went swimming with a friend who commented on my zipper running from my chest to my navel. 'It will fade though won't it' she said, I laughed and replied of course it will if I live to be 150.

Thank you for so bravely sharing your experiences and I hope those young ones with scars reading this realise that beauty comes from the inside not the outside.

You have a big thumbs UP from me


teamrn profile image

teamrn 3 years ago from Chicago

I think some people look for something to prop up THEIR ego, and if it can be a scar or other imperfection in someone else, it'll get used. I think that tends to happen more when we're young, but the damage is easily done when people shy away from, and treat us with kid gloves us at a very vulnerable and impressionable time in our lives and when our self-esteem is 'lower than the cellar' at that.

If this happens in adolescence, that's when developmentally you're trying to find your own individuality (but still want to be part of the 'gang' and fit in' Unfortunately, this may be a time when you're experiencing more dependence on your parents, all ready.

But, with the right love and support, people can rebuild lives. It used to be 'taboo' to talk about what was bothering you; Now, I'm on a personal campaign to make sure that if possible, ALL PARENTS make counseling or group therapy an option for their children. Just talking about it doss a world of good and learning ways in which you can deal with the hardships scars cause.


mary615 profile image

mary615 3 years ago from Florida

I had a kidney removed due to a large staghorn stone (wrote a Hub about that experience). The drs performed a procedure where they go in through a small incision and pull out the kidney. No scar at all.

Your Hub reminded me of a photo I saw on Facebook where this young girls had both breasts removed and had a large tattoo placed over her chest with butterflies.

I voted this UP, etc.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi mary, its amazing how many people do have kidney scars, it wasn't something I even thought about when I was younger, I didn't know until I was 33, now it doesn't bother me at all, thanks so much for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi team, that's so true, back when I was a kid nobody ever talked about it, not even my mum so I presumed that I was the only one with a scar! if more people shared their story then it would be so much better for the kids, thanks again, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi Rosemay, yes that's it, I built up my scar so big that I couldn't get changed in front of anybody, thanks so much, sounds like you have had your share of it too, your eyes sound like they are amazing and different, as for your zipper scar I did smile, someone said that about my kidney one! lol! thanks so much for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi midget, sorry to hear about your ops, and thanks for sharing your story, nell


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 3 years ago from United States

Wow...such a bold hub.

I agree men do notice scars first.

I admire you Nell for who you are...hugs!!!


Annie/teamrn 3 years ago

Nell, when I was a kid after my burs, so my body was freshly (YUCK) scarred, I was a swim coach. On occasion I needed to get into the pool to show children various stroke technique. As I took off my sweatshirt and the kids saw my scars, they'd point, "what's the matter" or stare.

All they (the children) needed was an explanation as to what they saw, (what scars are and how they happen) and they'd go about their business. Their parents on the other hand, WERE MORTIFIED, that little 5-yea old Johnny didn't know better! Heck, the child was doing what children do; he was curious. Once little Johnny knew the answer, the went about his business.. But Johnny's Mom and Dad... form opines and judgd.


btrbell profile image

btrbell 3 years ago from Mesa, AZ

Great hub, Nell! I have lived since age 15 with disfiguring scars and since 25 with an ostomy bag. I have to agree with you that people who care about you, do not care about these these anywhere near the way we do. We build so much up in our own heads and continue to feed our own insecurities that we usually don't give others the opportunity tpo decide for themselves! Thank you for a great, heartwarming hub! up++


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Sorry it took so long to answer,

lol! Hi btrbell, yes its definitely our insecurites that cause the problems, thanks so much for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks Annie, they say out of the mouth of babes etc, but its so true, they don't have an embarrassments, its such a shame when the parents do, kids make it a quick question then forget it, thanks for coming back, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks Ruchira, glad you like it, nell


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

Thanks for sharing this. You know there will always be ways for those who may be a tad bit unkind to find something that is not perfect about us. For me it was the size of my nose when I was a young girl. (another story for another day).

I have huge scar from my Csection when my daughter was born (that was back when the incision was vertical it goes from my belly button to way down the anatomy. And I wear it like a badge of honor. However I do know those who have horrendous scars from fires or accidents on their face. And many have been cruel because of them.

These suggestions should be very helpful to those who stop by. Sending you Angels this morning. ps


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks pstraubie, it seems that we all have scars, some worse than others. Its those that show all the time that people can be cruel too, they just don't think, and that in itself is cruel, sending angels back at ya! lol!


teamrn profile image

teamrn 3 years ago from Chicago

Like pstraubie said, "there will always be ways for those who may be a tad bit unkind to find something that is not perfect about us. "

People will ALWAYS look to find minor imperfections in others as proof of their own superiority-and to bolster up their ego. I figure this way, if someone else ego needs my scars to bolster it up, I'm GIVING them away, for the bargain basement price of WYSIWYG! They can have them or borrow, or comment on them because I'm sufficiently convinced that I am MORE than my scars.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

lol! thanks team! sorry I missed your comment, nell


celeste inscribed profile image

celeste inscribed 3 years ago

Oh Nell Rose, I have scars too and it took some time to accept them but as you say, 'Scar Tissue a Sign of Bravery and Life'. I have stories to tell about them and they show that I have survived trauma. Only strong people survive.


Teamrn 3 years ago

What do they say?That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" But, there are days when I'm tired of being like Goliath. True, my scars build character, and to be without character, I might be extremely dull. But, just once I'd like to feel pretty like I did ony wedding day! Come to think of it, I had scars then but was so radiant that I felt beautiful in spite of my scars.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi team, I totally understand what you mean, these days I don't care at all about my scars, but they did influence what I did back in the day, your point about feeling radiant on your wedding day does prove that a lot of our feelings are purely psychological, I am sure you are pretty every day, you just need to feel it, thanks so much for reading again, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi celeste, thanks so much for reading, yes our scars are our signs that we are still here and that can't be bad! lol!


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

What a candid, beautiful personal story about the path to self-acceptance. Voted up.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks Flourish, glad you liked it, nell


GetitScene profile image

GetitScene 3 years ago from The High Seas

Useful hub, voted up. Personally, I'm a fan of scars because each one tells a story.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi Getit, yes me too! thanks so much for reading, nell


Elearn4Life profile image

Elearn4Life 3 years ago

I don't know how this hub got past me. Thanks Nell Rose! I also have scars. I was bitten by a recluse spider and have scars from sarcoidosis. Then scars are on my legs and I have never been brave enough to expose them for over 16 years publicly even in the summer. Maybe one day. This hub is a healing source. Thanks again.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi Life, I am so glad you found it helpful. I remember sitting on a beach a few years ago and there was a woman with huge scars on her stomach. She wore a bikini and I thought 'way to go'! I am sure if you let the sun get to your legs it may help them, and never worry about other peoples reactions, its you who counts not them, thanks for reading, and take care, nell


Elearn4Life profile image

Elearn4Life 3 years ago

Thank you for that dear Nell Rose!

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