Should I Go Gray Or Not

When I go to purchase my hair color this time I am going to seriously ponder the question, "do I or don't I color my hair." I've been asked, "why don't you let your hair go gray? My response is I don't feel gray, yet, but when I do, I will. Well, am I feeling gray yet, maybe, maybe not? Now if you ask me how do you feel gray? My answer will be "I don't know." Although I think I will know it when I feel it. I am 62 years old, ( I said it, yes I did, 62), and I still color my hair. I constantly hear, "you don't look your age," now, I don't say that, others do. So I've, as they say bought into that. So if we can say feeling gray is a state of mind, then we can say that my state of mind is not gray yet. This generation is so youth conscious that we are conditioned to stay young at all cost. Some say, "grow old gracefully, others say I'm not going gracefully, I'm going to fight it all the way." I seem to be somewhere in the middle.

My hair seems to be tied to the my overall lifestyle. Some days I'll wear slightly tight jeans, other days I'll wear jeans I bought in the eighties, the ones that come up to the bottom of the breastbone, and look like they are three sizes too big (comfy). Some days I listen to Beyonce,T. I., Nelly, Toni Braxton, etc, other days I listen to Brook Benton, Sam Cooke, The Supremes, Patti La Belle, Michael Bolton, etc. Thanks to my adult children, I can move easily between the two genres of music.

Make no mistake, I am not casting dispersion on gray hair. I think gray hair on some is very beautiful. As a matter of fact I have several good friends with totally gray hair, and it in no way diminishes their beauty. One in particular has long beautiful gray hair, and if I had to hazard a guess, I would say she probably doesn't feel gray either, it's just her hair. My reasoning on that is her dress, and conversation, in my opinion, is not indicative of a person that "feels" gray. Remember, I said, I thought it was a state of mind, so I would surmise the gray state of mind, is different for all.


Why I began to color my hair

I was not always self-conscious about my hair. During the early nineties, my hair was beginning to salt and pepper, and I did like the look. However, I could never begin a conversation unless I got my hair out of the way first. You see, because I looked "too young" to have gray hair (so they said), I was, at times asked "is it premature?" I had a well meaning friend say, it didn't become me, (my gray hair). A husband of a friend use to compare my gray hair with his.

The turning point came one night during a networking event for my business. At one point, I was making a pitch for the man's business, and, during the pitch, I noticed the man kept looking at my head, I thought he had a problem with eye contact, so I excused it. When I thought, ah ha, I got him now, I went in for the kill, I casually mentioned my children, I don't know why at that point, but anyway he said, "which one gave you all that gray."Pow! There went my bubble. I don't know whether he ever used my business, but the next day I went out and bought my first bottle of hair color, and I haven't looked back since, I'm hooked. I've been working on my hair, (see my hub, How I Grew My Kinky Hair With Little Money), and I've worn a wig for months, I'm at the stage where I've taken on the skunk look, ( oh, you've seen the look, just picture it). I am about to come out of the wig and now I have to make the decision as to whether I should color or not.

My decision

I like me, I like who I've become, gray hair and all, however, at this time, I haven't made a decision, about my gray hair. Whatever decision I make will be mine, based on how I feel. I've grown enough, now, not to let others make up my mind for me. So when you make a life altering decision (albeit minor), make it based on your own feelings, not on what others have to say. So I say, to "gray or not to gray," that is the question, for me?

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Comments 32 comments

Dianne J. 7 years ago

Very funny!


TamCor profile image

TamCor 7 years ago from Ohio

I love this! I just wrote a hub about deciding what to do with my gray hair, too...hadn't colored it in 20 years, but I finally caved, due to the gray, lol...

I love your style of writing--can't wait to read more!


franciaonline profile image

franciaonline 7 years ago from Philippines

Hi fastfreta,

Your joining my fans club is a lucky day for me! I would have missed your incredible style of writing if you didn't make the connection. You write like the reader is right in front of you! I'll be coming back to all your hubs!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks franciaonline, I feel honored to get that compliment from you, because I admire your style of writing. I guess we have a mutual admiration society going on here. Thanks again!


JennaJackson profile image

JennaJackson 7 years ago

fastfreta, My mom finally let herself go grey a couple of years ago. She also stopped cutting her hair. For two years she didn't color and she didn't cut. A couple of weeks ago, she donated her hair to Locks of Love. Now, she loves her grey hair. We all think it is beautiful. Give it a try. You may love it.

As always, another thoughtful musing from one of my favorites.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Jenna, stop........no go on, LOL. Seriously, thank you so much for reading all my hubs. And about coloring my hair, I'm still considering letting it go gray, I did color it about a month ago though.


\Brenda Scully 7 years ago

i like your hair don't go grey.... keep writing for us whatever you do


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Brenda, I have writers block now, probably due to reading all of the other hubs that I get, and find so interesting.


ashleyr24 7 years ago

Wow I doubt I'll wanna go gray when I get older too. I'm a lot like my mother.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks ashleyr, please come back again soon.


create a page profile image

create a page 7 years ago from Maryland, USA

fastfreta I am going gray so quickly that my children try to pluck each strand of hair when I am not looking. I think they should give up. I like what you wrote: 'I like me, I like who I've become, gray hair and all'. I feel that way about my gray hair. It is difficult sometimes when I see the photos with my all black hair and compare it to now, but I guess it goes with the territory.

The truth is fastfreta regardless of the color of your hair you are still a very beautiful, interesting and entertaining woman, and we will all love and accept you with gray hair and all.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Create a page, this is so exciting, that I see someone really reading all of my hubs. You are so special, thanks again, and again.


dixoncircle profile image

dixoncircle 6 years ago

I read all your articles, and this is what I say to you. Gray is alright. Just be honest and true!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

WOW! Thanks dixoncircle for reading ALL of my articles. Your're right gray is alright, however I gave in and colored my hair. Thanks for stopping by, please stop again soon.


Jayne Lancer profile image

Jayne Lancer 6 years ago from West London, UK

There's no need to go grey nowadays. Attitudes have changed, and nobody is expecting the woman of a certain age to act and look her age.

But it's true, grey hair cannot detract from a woman's beauty. On the other hand, it does little for her sex appeal.

Just some thoughts :)

Love your writing, and will be reading more of your Hubs!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Jayne, As a matter of fact I have colored my hair since writing this hub. I still would like to see what I look like totally gray, maybe I'll get up enough nerve to do it one day.


Jayne Lancer profile image

Jayne Lancer 6 years ago from West London, UK

Or you could try on a grey wig. Just a thought, again :)


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Jayne, I feel like a dunce, I wear wigs most of the time now, because I've become accustomed to not having a bad hair day, anyway I never once thought of trying a gray wig. The next time I'm at a wig shop I'll do just that, maybe even buy one.


Jayne Lancer profile image

Jayne Lancer 6 years ago from West London, UK

No need to feel like a dunce :) Sometimes we just don't think of the most obvious when it concerns ourselves. Happens to me all the time!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Jayne, I'll stop kicking myself and just go and buy or at least look at that gray wig.


Mamelody profile image

Mamelody 6 years ago

Gray hair doesn't mean you're old. I don't know why people have that impression. You could be blond or brunette and still look older than my grandma and have gray hair and look younger than my niece! Nice hub hun xx


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

You're so wise Mamelody. However, gray hair usually comes with advancing age, notice I didn't say old age, and you're so right, sometimes our appearance don't give away our age. Thanks for stopping, please stop by again soon.


WildIris 5 years ago

fastfreta~ When I was in my early 30s I asked an older friend why she colored her hair. She told me that she didn't like looking at an old woman in her mirror. Coloring her hair made her feel younger, so she acted more youthful. I think going for a job interview with gray hair is grounds for a no call-back no matter your experience or expertise. Ageism is alive and thriving. While gray hair can be beautiful, appearances matter. Looking old matters or why else does the cosmetic industry come up with countless age defying solutions and potions to erase the lines of aging.

Personally, I like the hair color in your profile photo, but I'm going gray. I'm too lazy to stay on top of the hair color routine. Enjoyed the Hub!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

Hi WildIris, I am so in agreement with your comments about acting the way you look. I'm constantly told that I don't look my age, but what I think people are reacting to is my personality and actions. And as you also said, ageism is alive, and we have to admit it, and deal with it the way we see fit. I so appreciate your comments.


eventsyoudesign profile image

eventsyoudesign 5 years ago from Nashville, Tennessee

Hi fastfreta. I refuse to color my hair. I have been gray for many years. My mom always colored her hair. It looked as if she had used a bottle of black shoe polish. I finally saw her without the color and I was amazed at how beautiful her real hair color is. I don't like to put all of those chemicals in my hair anyway. I think you should do what makes you happy and not anyone else. You are a beautiful person. Teresa


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

Hello eventsyoudesign, I need to take a page from your book. I'm still undecided, because I've gotten so use to wearing wigs now that I don't pay too much attention to my real hair these days. Thank you so much for stopping, sorry it's taken so long to respond, I don't have regular Internet access at this point. Please come back again soon.


jacqui2011 profile image

jacqui2011 5 years ago from Leicester, United Kingdom

Great hub. Wow I can't believe that you are 62, you don't look your age. I went gray when I was in my 30's and have been dying my hair ever since, (I am 46 now). Another great masterpiece here. I am glad to be your 1000th follower. Best wishes.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

Well now I'm 64, and still haven't decided what I'm going to do. I wear false hair for now, because it's convenient, even though I grew my hair back via the methods that I spoke about in my very first hub. Anyway thanks so much for stopping. Thank you, thank you, thank you for helping me fulfill a dream here on HubPages, (1000 followers).


3cardmonte 5 years ago

Do it! be proud of your grey hair! I have it and I am only 27!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

Well 3cardmonte, I still haven't made up my mind, I'm not yet feeling it, LOL! You see I was proud of mine until I was maybe mid forties, and it drew so much attention that I just stop wearing it. Maybe one day soon I'll be back to that. Anyway thank you so much for the encouragement.


silverfox 4 years ago

I've had some small white streaks since my early 20's..started out as a blonde and now (in my 50's) it's just a strange streaky mix of blonde and white and some darker parts...wouldn't know what color to dye it if I did. The reactions I get amuse me...some people stop me on the street and say "magnificent" or similar...others stop me and ask why I don't color it, or give me their salon business card..or tell me how "brave" I am. It's all ridiculous. I may color it one day as I liked being blonde..and it may help my soon-to-be undertaken job hunt. My (younger) husband loves it as it is...and I notice men like it more than women. My hair is longish, past my shoulders. Don't let the popular culture bully you into using nasty chemicals and worrying about such mundane concerns...in my case it has been interesting watching the evolution of streaks..nature does quite a job. Just keep it shiny and all of you healthy. So many women color that leaving it natural makes you stand out in a crowd...sometimes that attention is fun. Grey looks great on dogs and horses...why not people?


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 4 years ago from Southern California Author

I tell you silverfox, today people have the nerve of a toothache, when it comes to other peoples business. The nerve of people walking up to a perfect stranger and dictating how they should wear their hair, especially when it's not interfering with their life. Now got that out of my system, LOL, thanks for stopping and leaving that very interesting comment.

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