Makeup Tips For Meth Addicts

Long-term methamphetamine abuse causes many changes in the body, but most especially the appearance of skin, hair, and teeth. Meth addicts often suffer from skin lesions, acne, rosacea, age spots, patches of discoloration, and dry/flaky skin. The best way to prevent these unsightly side effects of drug abuse is to quit taking drugs. But for those who can't put down the pipe, here are few makeup tricks you can use to look your best in your next police photo.

Exfoliate with Tea Tree Oil Soap

Soap that contains the essential oil from tea tree leaves is great for sloughing off dead skin and drying up wounds. Its astringent properties also help shrink your pores. Because the soap can be too strong for some people when they first start using it, it may be best to use it on your face at night before going to bed, every other day.

Moisturizer with Vitamin E, Aloe, and SPF 15

After washing your face in a gas station bathroom, apply a thin layer of moisturizing lotion that has Vitamin E, aloe extracts, and sunscreen with an SPF of 15. Vitamin E is an essential vitamin for cell vitality, and aloe helps heal wounds. Using mild sun block can also reduce redness and dryness in your skin if you have to spend a lot of time outdoors, roaming the sidewalks for your next fix.

Mineral Makeup

To cover the scabs, scars, and scratches from raccoon fights, use mineral powder makeup rather than oil-based makeup. Mineral makeup offers smoother coverage and won't clog your pores. Choose a shade slightly lighter than your skin tone to counteract the redness and better conceal your scabs.

Dark Red Lipstick

Using a darker shade of red will make your remaining teeth seem lighter in comparison. If your lips are cracked and dry, treat them each night with medicated lip balm, then use lipstick during the day.

Green, Blue, or Purple Eyeshadow

Using a colorful hue of eyeshadow will help draw attention away from other problem areas on your face, and make your eyes look extra vibrant and healthy. For brown eyes, use purple or blue violet. For blue eyes, use shades between blue violet and turquoise. For green or hazel eyes, use shades of green between turquoise and chartreuse.

Eye Drops

One last tip to help you look less like a meth head, apply eye drops throughout the day to eliminate redness and keep your eyes healthy. The more hydrated your eyes are, the clearer your vision will be, which will help when you pay for items in cash. If you accidentally give your dealer a $50 dollar bill instead of a $20, he won't correct your error!

Where to Get Cosmetics

The next time you're shoplifting or rummaging through unlocked cars for money to buy meth, spare a moment during your raid to grab a few personal care items. Department stores often have self-serve samples at the high-end makeup counters. Try to get a dollop of moisturizing lotion before security throws your bony ass out.

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Comments 6 comments

Brie Hoffman profile image

Brie Hoffman 3 years ago from Manhattan


paxwill profile image

paxwill 3 years ago from France Author

Thanks Brie!

kschimmel profile image

kschimmel 3 years ago from North Carolina, USA

This is brilliant! Excellent use of satire.

mohit 3 years ago

is important best beuaty tips for hottt lady. share to my wife!!

Bree 3 years ago

Can these beauty tips be applied to habitually drunk people as well? Cosmetically curious minds want to know.

SmartAndFun profile image

SmartAndFun 19 months ago from Texas

LOL, how did I miss this one until now! Don't know whether to laugh or cry. Gonna do both.

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