Men's High Heels
This fellow seems ready to defend his high heels with the power of his model gaze... Actually I am told this is a woman.. which just goes to show - something
It has come to my attention, (well it came to my attention a while ago, but that reads less awesomely), that there are certain men who like to wear women's shoes. Not just any women's shoes quite often, but high heeled shoes.
Now that's exactly the sort of thing that is likely to put people's noses out of joint if you're not careful chaps. A man in high heels presents an outwardly incongruous figure which even the dullest lout cannot fail to appreciate and inevitably comment on.
For this reason no doubt, most men refrain from wearing high heels in public. their shoes collections are closeted away from the eyes of the world, and like stealthy male versions of Imelda Marcos they create little shoe havens hidden away behind secret false walled wardrobes. (I hope they do anyway, I have a mental image of a false wall swinging away to reveal dozens of lovely high heels shoes hidden away on little perspex shelves against a blue backlit wall, not unlike a weapons stash.)
If a man wants to wear high heels in public, he needs to wear riding boots, which are the acceptable high heel for men. For some reason we can accept that a man wearing riding boots or cowboy boots in a city many thousands of miles away from the nearest horse is okay, but a man who picks up some saucy little heels from to boutique on the corner is clearly mad and also a danger to the status quo of society.
But why? Are we afraid that he will steal the feminine mojo which comes with every purchase of a pair of high heels? Will he discover the dark secrets of women kind and suddenly start winning arguments with the line "If you loved me you'd..."? Will he become unnaturally tall and start seeing things he shouldn't? After all, the average man is taller than the average woman by a couple of inches and it is possible that like tired parents baby proofing the house by placing vats of sulphuric acid on table tops just out of reach of their child's eager grasping hands, our government overlords have been storing all manner of dangerous things just out of the eye line of the average citizen.
(That would explain why all the tall people are regularly rounded up and made to play basketball and have wild intercourse with loose women. Keeps them out of trouble.)
I'm being silly of course. There's really no practical reason that men shouldn't wear high heels, unless you count the potential damage to their lower back that can arise with extended wearing. So please men, be careful when you're wearing your high heels. You'll miss your back when it's gone.
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