Men In The US Who Wear Kilts

Not the guy I saw but just as scary and very similar
Not the guy I saw but just as scary and very similar
 

Actually, I think that this goes beyond the United States but as this is where I live and what I know, I feel as though I can only talk to this issue here in the "states." You see, this morning I went into the Starbucks near my home (yes, I have two of them - my work week Starbucks and my weekend Starbucks, who says we're not all creatures - and prisoners - of our habits?) there I was in Starbucks having my usual light-hearted banter with the baristas and then this couple walked in. There they were, her with her badly dyed blonde hair, her too much makeup that at first I almost didn't notice her partner in crime. There he was in all his over six foot glory, a very large man in what can only be what he thought was a kilt. Men in the US who wear kilts - Don't Get Me Started!

All at once all the stereotypes of those who wear kilts when they're not on the moors came rushing to me as I continued my observing of this couple. You see, if you start from the head of this guy in the kilt, he couldn't be more typical of that sort. First there was the thin but long (past shoulder-length) hair that was not exactly curly and yet not straight but one thing could not be denied, it had the "wet" look. Like a bad Jerry Curl, it was wet and hanging in a way that made it look more greasy than wet (not attractive in the least). Next was the requisite facial hair of a beard and mustache. Both the hair on his head and his face were blacker than black that made me wonder if you got closer if you would see that it was all dyed for "effect." From the neck down, things became even more confusing.

The shirt he was wearing was a darkish gray shirt sleeved polo shirt (a no-name Old Navy sort of a looking thing, not a great fit, not a great color but you can be sure it was cheap). What was most surprising was the "kilt" itself. It didn't look like a kilt at all. It was a black pleated skirt actually. That's right, no green and blue plaid or some other jaunty mix of "clan colors" but a simple black, pleated all the way around skirt I tell you. Of course he had the light leather string pouch around his waist (pushed down from the weight of his large stomach hanging over the top of his skirt) that can only be described as a "tummy pack" instead of a "fanny pack." The socks were black knee socks but were so sheer that they allowed you to see his hair through them a bit, think women's stockings. And finally, what is almost always seen when the US men wear their kilts, huge combat looking boots to add a couple of extra inches to his height and overall appearance.

His wife or girlfriend stood beside him quite proud looking at her fine Neanderthal-looking lover and I'm sure that they're also "Rennies" (read my definition of the "Rennies and why they scare me here... http://hubpages.com/hub/Renaissance_People_Scare_Me ). Years ago I did theatre with a guy who had the "Scottish Fixation" he wore the kilts whenever he could, he had the hair/beard/mustache trio and even changed his last name to "MacLeod" like the character from the "Highlander" series (I only know about this because of this guy) and would often be heard saying he was "MacLeod from the clan, MacLeod" for no apparent reason other than the fact was that this was what the guy said on the television series apparently. Of course there were fundamental problems with this whole issue from the get go. First of all, the guy was Jewish and his real last name was Goldfarb so no matter how many Celtic tattoos he got, kilts he wore, trips to Scotland, alas he would always be Barry Goldfarb and he too looked ridiculous in the kilts he wore.

I guess I wouldn't mind the whole kilt thing if you were actually a transplant from somewhere where they were actually worn but the fact is that most of the men I see wearing them here in the states are really just wearing them for one reason only, attention. That's right, there's really no other reason to wear one unless of course you're doing it to lower the temperature of your sperm to assist in getting your wife pregnant or you have a yeast infection you're trying to "dry out."

But if you must wear a skirt, gents (and yes, it's a skirt not a kilt when you wear it in the US) at least have the decency to wear a colorful plaid one and wear the proper blouse with it for Gosh sakes. While "basic black" is suitable for most looks; in a kilt unless you're going to a kilt funeral (for someone else who wears a kilt or in my mind, the real deal, which is burning all your kilts and having a funeral for your wannabe years) I don't want to see it. Men in the US who wear kilts - Don't Get Me Started!

 

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Comments 18 comments

relache profile image

relache 8 years ago from Seattle, WA

Speaking for myself, I happen to like guys in kilts, and I have several friends who wear the modern ones (aka Utilikilts) with great style and panache.


jimmythejock profile image

jimmythejock 8 years ago from Scotland

As a proud member of the Clan Campbell and a true Scot, I have to admit that I have never worn the kilt nor have I any intention of ever doing so, it's cold here in Scotland and as a true Scot wouldn't dream of wearing underwear with the kilt and you know the effect cold has on your little clan member.

The kilt is only worn In Scotland on special occasions, Robert burns's Birthday, St Andrews day and at weddings or funerals and during a highland games, even we Scots sneer and giggle at men in kilts when we see them.

I love your article Scott it brightened up my day thankyou for a good belly laugh.....jimmy


somelikeitscott profile image

somelikeitscott 8 years ago from Las Vegas Author

Jimmy, Glad to help! Relache, yikes...think again about the whole kilt thing...please.


Chef Jeff profile image

Chef Jeff 8 years ago from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago.

Reminds me of a story.  A Scotsman was heading home drunk from the pub when he fell asleep at a tree alongside the road.  Two young ladies happened by very early the next morn and decided to see if it was correct that no true Scotsman would dare wear anything beneath his kilt.  So they lifted up the kilt and saw it was true, but they wanted to make sure the Scotsman knew someone had peeked.

So, they tied a colorful hair ribbon around his little clan member and when the Scotsman woke up later in the morn he lifted his kilt to pee and saw the ribbon.

"Well," he say to his little clan member, "I dont know where you've been, but I see you won first prize!"

Also, as my Scottish great-grandfather used to tell everyone, when asked - "What's worn under that kilt?"

(Drum roll) "Nothing at all - all parts work rather well, thank you."


relache profile image

relache 8 years ago from Seattle, WA

It's not going to happen, Scott. Thermal top, black Utilikilt, big boots.... I'm there! (esp if the guy doesn't mind that I dress that way myself) And I guess you've not seen that I published a Hub on the history and wearing of kilts about a month ago either... LOL, http://hubpages.com/style/kilts


Donald Sinclair 7 years ago

What a bizarre rant ! I'm absolutely baffled as to why Mr Scott thinks that other human beings should dress to please him. We're on planet Earth for a sliver of time to small to effectively measure and Mr Scott thinks that people he's never previously met and in all likelihood will never meet again should observe an abstract collection of preferences, fashions, prejudices and randomly occuring trends just to keep his own insecurities well battened down.

Tell you what Mr. Scott, why don't you take a moment to ponder what folk might make of your puzzling predisposition with how other guys dress themselves or better still, consider having the stones to step out of the absurd little operating system which was imposed on you at birth and decided on by your physiology. Next time you come to Scotland, see if you can summon up the courage to enjoy a beer in a Glasgow or Edinburgh bar, and share your little world with those around you - it would be a learning experience for all concerned.


somelikeitscott profile image

somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas Author

Mr. Donald,

Thank you for taking the time to comment. I'm sorry if you were offended by my "rant" but if you truly are from Scotland I encourage you to re-read this hub. I'm talking about the guys in the US who wear a kilt not because it's part of their culture but because they're trying to be something they are not just to be "cool."

I love a real kilt wearer in their kilt as much as the next homosexual but please, if you're doing it just to get attention, don't.


Chris O'Neill 7 years ago

I realise that you think it's not attractive for some men to wear kilts, and while some should definetly figure out how to wear one first, there is nothing wrong with a bloke wearing a kilt. I'm Irish, but now live in the US, and I tend to enjoy wearing a kilt. You saw an horrid example of a lad in a kilt, but I invite you to please look over the site by clicking my name; you may learn something.


jaggy thistle 7 years ago

I was in USA last year and wore my kilt all the time had nothing but good comments .must say however some kilt wearers in USA tend to wear their kilts too long ,nothing worse looking !!


brimancandy profile image

brimancandy 6 years ago from Northern Michigan

We have a local group of leathermen who wear Kilts on special occasssions. Also, this past laborday weekend about 50 guys showed up in those plaid kilts, no shirts with the matching hats labor day weekend at the Dunes.

A majority of men who I have seen wearing Kilts are very masculine types, bears, and leathermen. They do it is part of their leather pride. It has nothing to do with being gay.

It's more of a uniform thing.

There are many straight men in these groups, and women, because the culture accepts them. So, saying that it is only a gay thing in the united states would not be accurate.


BigDave 6 years ago

You need to lighten up. What difference does it make to you why anyone wears a kilt? You have some personal issue and you find it easily to dismiss kilts by calling them skirts.


Ron  6 years ago

I think the author of this is a complete TOOL. What a jerk, I dont wear them myselves but I also dont think of myself as some high and mighty pompass ass who passes judgement on those who are expressing themselves. The notion that a "kilt" can not be a solid color gives away the authors hatred of all things "non" traditional. What an idiot... fly your sorry butt home to


sam  6 years ago

I love how you figure the Kilt is a thing only for Scotland (no mention of Ireland). Men in the US also wear jeans, you dont see us getting bent about people in other countries following suit.

For myself I am of the MacQuarrie line but have chosen to wear the US Army tartan (not official) and many friends that wear the US Marine Corp tartan when we get together for occasion or just a night on the town. I would dearly love to see the man who would come to our group and explain to us how silly we all look, or that we are wearing skirts (someone did make that terrible mistake once). People wear clothing as an expression of who they are, if it was just for protection from the elements you would wear the same thing every day. Hey Chris thanks for the link, I was actually trying to find your page and didnt have it bookmarked.


John 5 years ago

How about this...

Whether someone is from Scotland or not... whether they are wearing a kilt so you notice them or not, whether you think they look good or not... Who, exactly, are you to say whether it is right or wrong?

You're complaining that they do it for attention, and you went and wrote a whole article about them (looks like you've supported exactly what you're objecting to).

People like you, who judge other people because of how they choose to present themselves are a major source of social discomfort and waste in this world. Stop pretending like the way YOU like to look is the way everyone should look.


stacy.moore17@yahoo.com 4 years ago

i am of scotish heritage and i do wear a kilt. i don't wear it to get reactions or to look cool. i wear it because i like the look and feal of it. i wear the gordon tartan and by the way i also have a plain black one. if you were to do a little research you would also see that they make kilt suits.


Matt 4 years ago

I am one of those US guys who wear a kilt. I don't wear it for attention. I wear it for comfort and honestly it's masculine and it looks good.

That said I do understand that many American men wear kilts inappropriately. They look greasy and gross and you can imagine that wile they are nit wearing a kilt they are dressed in a stormtrooper costume or as Harry Potter. It's sad. But to make a statement like you did pushing everyone outside of Scotland into the same basket is foolish.

Educate yourself on the subject and take a look at xmarksthescot.com you will find most of what you think about kilts on American men is wrong.

Cheers!


Joseph Ibrahim 4 years ago

Take a look at what the Egyption and Aztects used to wear for that mater the Greeks. I may have only a little bit of Scottish (and Irish) blood, but I have always liked the kilt. I have made a REAL kilt of Woodland Camoflage and plan to make more. As for those (plaid ones) Its Tartan and costs $60. per yard a min. of 4 yards up to 8 yards for one kilt. Do the math yourself, if you can. I got intertested in wearing a kilt as a teen after reading Methuselah's Children by Robert A. Heinlein. So in closing, you wear what you want and stop tring to force others into your narrow veiw of what ppl should wear. check out this web site too. http://www.kiltmen.com/


Mac 4 years ago

I'm Scotish/Canadian and a proud Kilt wearer. The thought that a kilt should only be worn traditionally or specific days of the year is ridiculous. I wear a kilt as much as I do my jeans. I can dress it up or wear it casually... Ether way, a kilt is comfortable and I enjoy wearing it.

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