The Splendid World of Silk Lingerie
A Dark Fact About Silk
Silk comes from little dead caterpillars, whereas cotton comes from plants. This makes silk arguably more cruel than cotton (assuming that caterpillars don't enjoy being boiled to death inside their cocoons.)
Silk. We don't have enough of it.
Why wear silk lingerie? Well, much like my arch nemesis, cotton, silk is a natural fiber. However, unlike cotton, it is so smooth to the touch that the term “silky smooth” is actually in common usage. Okay “cotton soft” is also out there, but that's just an international conspiracy up there with UFO's, the sniper on the grassy knoll, and Sarah Palin's VP nomination. Some things we will never understand.
Lovers of cotton claim that cotton breathes well and absorbs a great deal of moisture. To them, I say 'Yeah? Oh yeah!? LOL FAKE!' Silk also absorbs a great deal of moisture.
Silk is among the strongest of all the natural fibers, but beware, it looses 20% of its tensile strength in the rain. So if you are currently locked in a Sheikh's tower with masses of silk lingerie, wait until it is not raining before using the ladder you constructed out of silk slips.
When buying silk lingerie you will want to look for silk which has been pre-washed, because pre-washed silk will not shrink when you wash it at home, or simply when you look at it funny. Unwashed silk can shrink an epic eight percent simply due to the structure of the fabric relaxing.
When purchasing silk lingerie, you want to buy tightly woven silk, as this is less susceptible to the aforementioned shrinkage.
- Silk will stretch – and stay that way.
- Oils can and will soil silk, so wear
your cottons when you're eating pizza and drinking beer in bed.
- Unwashed silk will attract the attention of insects who correctly view it as being a rather excellent food source, so you should always keep your silk lingerie clean.
- For instructions on how to clean silk, read my article on the subject.
- Silk is not a good conductor of electricity, so it will develop static cling. On the bright side, you could also wad it up and use it as protection against electric eels. (As long as you didn't immediately try to use it to swing across a deep canyon.)
- Silk will weaken if exposed to excessive sunlight. This, of all its qualities is its lamest. What kind of insane fabric does not drink power from the sun? Fortunately, most of your silk lingerie will not be worn upon the High Street in the full glare of the summer sun.
- Be aware that the sun may make white silk yellow, so lock it away safely in a dark place.
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