Standard of Dress For Guys

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I want to preface this piece by stating that accepting any fashion tips from this author is questionable at best, the reader should do so at his/her own risk. Proceed with caution, as following any tips read here could lead to being ridiculed, and/or harassed by family and friends.

Watching old movies or seeing old pictures I always notice how dressed up everyone is. Walking by on the street in a three piece suit, or wearing suspenders and a top hat, everyone looks well dressed and respectable. Things are a bit different these days. I’m not implying that we all go back to wearing our Sunday best whenever we need to run out for milk, but it can certainly be ridiculous what some people will put on (or not put on) before leaving the house.

I've decided to put together a quick reference guide for anyone who may need some help with what they should be wearing in public. As for the ladies, some of these apply, but being a guy I will stick mainly to men's clothes. One last thing, these rules apply to adults, because they should know better.

If you are going to:

Church – Depending on the church, I would at least wear a pair of jeans without holes in them. A clean polo or a dress shirt is fine. A shirt and tie would be ideal.

WalMart – At the bare minimum, please wear sweat pants with a t-shirt. Underwear is crucial, you may be bending over. A wife beater is an undershirt, AN UNDERSHIRT. That means that unless you are at the beach, at the gym, or by the pool, it should be worn underneath a top shirt.

A fast food restaurant– The same applies here as Walmart. Shorts and a t-shirt are fine. Even flip flops and sandles are acceptable. Ladies, please, please wear shorts that fit. I’m not sure why they make size XXL shorts that say Delicious or Juicy on the back of them, I'm not sure why they make them at all, but they shouldn't.

*Drive through – Just cover yourself, at least wear pajama’s, you never know when you may be pulled over.

A Sit down restaurant– This is different than fast food, please dress accordingly. Jeans or shorts are okay, just not jorts.

An Insane Clown Posse concert - You will need face paint, hair dye, and black, baggy clothes. You will also need to lose your dignity.

The bus stop - Please just make sure you cover everything, other than that, I'll leave it up to you. If it's your child's bus stop, please make sure your t-shirt isn't profane.

The royal wedding – You're going to need your coat and tie for this one to say the least. Dust off your top hat and have your cane or umbrella handy. Military uniforms are welcome

The theatre – At the movie theatre, jeans or shorts are fine. At a performance, maybe step it up a notch with khakis and a button up shirt, perhaps with a sweater or a jacket. People wear jeans, but I would recommend nice ones if you go that route.

A sporting event - Almost anything goes here, support your team by wearing a jersey or team colors, or go above and beyond with face paint. Just wear something, nobody likes the streaker.

Be a guest on a daytime talk show- Wearing an XXL t-shirt with matching sneakers is not dressing up. Remember, you may have to fight, you may have to dance, you may even have to strip. All of this should be taken into consideration while choosing what to wear on the Maury Povich show. In case you are the father, you want to look nice.

The airport - Nothing that brings attention to you. You want this to go as smooth as possible. Sneakers are a great choice, you are traveling after all.

Go hunting- I think bright orange camouflage is all the rage these days. Avoid brown and deer antlers on your head.

Rob a bank - I would go with tactical gear, black or navy blue. You don't want to wear your favorite t-shirt because this could give you away as well. Do not wear your jeans with your wallet in your back pocket. YOU DON'T NEED YOUR WALLET!

Traffic Court - Smart casual is a good choice, you may be on your lunch break. Just make sure you're all tucked in and presentable.

Circuit Court - I think a suit is the only option here. Good luck. (I warned you about that wallet!)

Wrestlemania - Does it honestly matter...

I hope this has helped to answer any questions about what to wear and when to wear it. Remember, being a snazzy dresser won't happen overnight, but with this reference, you will know what to wear to on almost any occasion.

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Comments 15 comments

Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 5 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

This is brilliant weestro! I can't stop laughing about the part with a sit down restaurant and no jorts. I propose jorts should be exiled from fashion alongside the mullet. But most of your suggestions are dead on. I wouldn't even talk to some guys because they look like they don't know what belt means or care not to exercise the beauty of the invention. Voted up, awesome, and funny!


weestro profile image

weestro 5 years ago from Virginia Author

I agree about the jorts! I'm no fashion expert, trust me, but what you see sometimes just makes you shake your head! Thanks for reading!


LifeAsLiz profile image

LifeAsLiz 5 years ago from Cincinnati, OH

haha I love this! Very funny! I like the part about the under shirt in Walmart. Voted up, awesome and funny!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

I loved the disclaimer! Ha!


weestro profile image

weestro 5 years ago from Virginia Author

Glad you enjoyed it Liz, you never know what you'll see at walmart.

Thanks Will, I just wanted to be clear on that!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I felt like I was at a Walmart with all of these photos! Don't these people look in the mirror before they leave the house? Great tips and advice!!:)


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

I'm not sure, but it can be scary Sunshine!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

This might just be the greatest hub ever. I like how you covered everything from an Insane Clown Posse concert to a royal wedding. I am definitely sharing this and voting it up!!!


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

You never quite know Jeannieinabottle! Thanks!


mljdgulley354 profile image

mljdgulley354 4 years ago

You have great pictures for this hub. The crack showing is one that just gets to me. Reminds me of going to school and the dress being to short and showing the garters or girdle when you sat down. That was yuck back then and the crack is yuck to me today.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

You do know there is a recession going on? These poor people can't afford the whole pair of jeans for crying out loud. Much less and undershirt AND an overshirt! I have noticed that the poorer one is, the worse they dress. The people in your cool photos are probably homeless. Awwww.

Perhaps one of us should do a hub on how to buy fashionable clothes from the Salvation Army or Goodwill. Actually, that's a great idea!


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

I completely agree mljdgully, it's not very appealing! Thanks for stopping by!

Austinstar, I see where you're coming from, but at least wear a shirt and pull up your pants, right? Thanks for reading and I look forward to reading your Goodwill hub!


Shaddie profile image

Shaddie 4 years ago from Washington state

Haha, nice hub. I wish more people would follow these rules.


Mustpha of Sierra Leone 4 years ago

You never made mention of African costumes. On what occasions to use them. Because I like wearing them so much.


Ndemowoma Y. From Sierra Leone 4 years ago

Hmmm! Mustay, you mean you can even wear African custome at bear poular? Can you please paste your photo so that guys can see you? I'm also a Sierra Leonean and I love my country cloth made of cotton wool.

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