The Benefits Of Breast Augmentation (Yes, You Need Breast Implants)

I'm all for women being obsessed with getting bigger breasts. It keeps their minds busy, and out of things they have no business thinking about, like politics, and finance. Breast augmentation is a multi billion dollar industry, and though thousands of women get breast implants every year, there are still several million who haven't had the procedure yet. This hub is designed to educate those women on the importance and benefits of breast augmentation.

Here are just some of the benefits of breast augmentation, according to the experts who know. (I refer of course to the great people at, who highly recommend breast augmentation to women.)

Potential Benefits of Breast Augmentation

  • Increased Confidence
  • Increased Self Esteem
  • Aesthetic Improvement
  • More Clothing Choices

Some people say that self esteem and confidence come from accepting yourself as who you are, and coming to value yourself for your intellect, your values, your unique soul, but those people are probably flat chested and ugly. It's pretty obvious that the real way to gain self confidence is by having your body hacked open and having silicone pillows stuffed into your flesh so that men ogle you more when you're out in public.

To help those of you who may not have grasped the importance of breast augmentation, I've prepared a graph. As this graph clearly shows, a woman's worth as a human being increases proportionally with the number of leering men ogling her breasts.

You too could look like this!

As to aesthetic improvement, well, a look at Tara Reid's breasts proves that aesthetic improvement is not always guaranteed, but I would say that the risk of having one's breasts become irreparably lopsided is far outweighed by the potential gain of having to carry around several more pounds on your chest. Other women, like Jordan, have nipples which have a charming ring of visible stitch marks around the areola, where the nipple has been removed and reattached. Some might find that grotesque, I think it adds character to a woman's body.

Finally we come to the last benefit on the list, increased clothing choices. Well, if being able to wear that pretty top in the shop window isn't worth going under general anesthetic and subjecting your body to major surgical trauma, then I don't know what is.

Remember folks, appearance is everything, and if a woman isn't sexually attractive to men, then she's pretty well just a waste of time, and nobody will ever love her, ever.

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Comments 20 comments

RainbowRecognizer profile image

RainbowRecognizer 8 years ago from Midwest

Uhhmmm (clearing throat) - I just had to read this one, Hope, and well, um... I'm at a loss for words! ;o)

Inspirepub profile image

Inspirepub 8 years ago from Sydney, Australia


You do realise that some people will think you are serious, don't you ...?

Hope Alexander profile image

Hope Alexander 8 years ago Author

and those people will be the most fun of all, inspirepub... :)

Hope Alexander profile image

Hope Alexander 8 years ago Author

I'll assume that means that you've really taken the message to heart RainbowRecognizer, let us know when you schedule the surgery and we'll have a little hub pages party to celebrate your dedication to self improvement ;)

Hovalis profile image

Hovalis 8 years ago from Australia

*wipes tear from eye* Brilliant! :-)

madeleine 8 years ago from Takoma Park, Maryland

Ah, what a well sharpened scalpel you wield...the better to perform breast augmentation with! ;-)}

Roland 8 years ago

I agree. Women do not need to be involved in politics, or finance. After all just looked at how "they've," mucked up the country running things, so far.

Right on Hope.

And just between you and me, Great Job.

funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal

I´m still laughing after reading this hub. Lets hope this hub will help lots of people out there :D

You should do another hub this time about butt augmentation (for those who already made the breasts). It has the same benefits and it will keep them busy for some time :lol:

Hope Alexander profile image

Hope Alexander 8 years ago Author

Thank you all for your comments :) I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Please do pass this on to any women you know, you never know, you could change their lives ;)

kerryg profile image

kerryg 8 years ago from USA

LOL! This is awesome. All this time and I had no idea how much my B cup was bringing me down. Do you think a DD will maximize my future happiness and empowerment? Maybe I should get a job at Victoria's Secret, too, so I can get a discount on all the awesome new shirts I'll be able to wear.

Hope Alexander profile image

Hope Alexander 8 years ago Author

I think a DD should do nicely, though if you really want to be taken seriously, an E cup is probably the bare minimum you should be looking at. Ideally, you want each breast to be larger than your head, which is also a symbolic way of showing the world the fact that you accept your breasts are far more important than the silly little neural center you're carrying around in your skull.

If you're hard up for implants, having one's frontal lobe sucked out and added to the implant will make for not only bigger breasts, but also a much happier you. It's pretty well accepted fact that women only need basic motor functions anyway, just enough to get from the bedroom to the kitchen and back again.

kerryg profile image

kerryg 8 years ago from USA

If I'm that beautiful and empowered, I don't think I should have to walk at all - just sit around all day looking hot and being admired. Too bad I'm too old for Chinese foot binding. Maybe I should look into having the ends of my feet surgically removed instead.

mroconnell profile image

mroconnell 8 years ago from France

hahaha, inspiring.

Hope Alexander profile image

Hope Alexander 8 years ago Author

My god kerry! That's brilliant! And just think how much removing the ends of your feet will increase your choice in shoes!

amy jane profile image

amy jane 8 years ago from Connecticut

Hope, you are brilliant! When I first saw the title I thought you were serious - but I guess that is because I didn't know you yet! I am so often surrounded by women who have been rebuilt and think its the greatest thing, this is so refreshing! Thanks for the laugh!

jimmythejock profile image

jimmythejock 8 years ago from Scotland

Should I book an appointment today?.....jimmy

RFox profile image

RFox 8 years ago


ahmu profile image

ahmu 8 years ago

Good advice. I love reverse psychology.

Sydney 5 years ago

hahaha, the imagery you choose is hilarious!

The infographic tells it all.

Jay 3 years ago

you have a very sarcastic & sexist way of humor!

where do you draw this inspiration from/?/

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