The Latest Rage and other Insane FADS
No Cream cheese, Hold the lox!
WHO does this?
It's time. It's actually way overdue. Someone needs to say it. When all around us has turned upside down and everyone has gone positively mad, a HERO must arrive. An ordinary person will do, of course, but he/she must have a brain, be completely sane and willing to be 100% honest and realistic.
OK, people! Can I have your attention, please? Those of you, who have always wanted a bagel,cosmetically implanted into your forehead, please, stand. OK, let's see, one....two....three........great!...Will the three morons who stood up, please follow that nice man in the blue scrubs, at the back of the room? Yes, yes, that's right, just go right over there and follow Jeff, our nice orderly, out to the red and white van in the parking lot. There are some big strong guards there to help you hop aboard. It's all going to be just fine. Bye, bye, now. Have a safe, comfortable ride.
The latest beauty trend....uh.... fashion statement....sort of... body art, which comes to us from Japan, "The Bagel Head," recently made it's debut, here in the U.S. Freaks, masochists and lunatics are flocking to the certified Body Mutilators, by the dozen, for their very own bagel, to be implanted into the middle of their forehead.
"W H Y?" you might ask.....
......And I gotta tell you, that's a damned good question. You go right on ahead and think up some sane reasons why a human being, would willingly and intentionally, request that a body artist, stick needles full of botox into one's forehead, in the shape of a bagel. Just off the top of my flat forehead, I'd guess....mmm, maybe because botox rhymes with lox? Seems as good a guess as any other that might only be dumber than that one.
Personally, I'd be a bit apprehensive about asking this question for fear of actually getting an answer. But like I said, you go ahead and ask. I'll just go on a little rant, if it's OK with everybody.
Look, it's just one of those things, ya know? After seeing a few weird, bizarre and totally outrageous fads or new ways to cause shock and awe come and go through the decades, you figure they can't possibly come up with anything more insane. Not so. They can, and they do.
So anyway......Who ARE "They?"
I sure as hell cannot imagine who the first person in Japan was who thought up the Bagel Head. Seriously, what kind of person, what age, sex and I.Q. would make up the description of the original artist/creator?
Never mind. That was a rhetorical question. I r e a l l y do not want to know. I prefer to say to that anonymous individual, "Child, you need help.....or a hobby.....or maybe, just a life."
I could be wrong. Maybe most people who have no desire to disfigure their bodies just don't get it!
There are Many ways to decorate the human body.
It certainly is an ancient art form. The Asians have, for centuries, bound the feet of little girls, to stunt their growth, because according to their belief, females should have tiny, dainty feet. They also will tightly bind the female chest to appear as flat as possible. While we may not run into a Tribal Native from the jungles of Africa, hanging out at Stan's Drive-In, we've all read National Geographic. We're familiar with a bone through the nose as well as the plate in the lower lip. Like I said, we, the inhabitants of America, don't see much of this at the malls.
Or....do we? The Tattoo-Piercing BOOM
Have you noticed more and more tattoo parlors popping up everywhere? You have, because in the past decade and a half there's been an enormous surge in the popularity of "tats and piercings." Men, women, young and not-so-young.....let us never forget Miss Casey Anthony's La Dolce Vita!! Nary a tattoo in history, did cause such a stir.
Well before this surge in popularity, tattoos were pretty much seen on the arms of sailors and G.I's and guys who rode motor cycles....and oh yeah, maybe the "carnies" and some freaks in the side shows. Piercings were limited to the ear lobes......of women only at first, but guys followed closely behind. Then, something happened.
Mom, Dad, This is Rocky, my Prom date.
Some people just don't know when to leave well-enough alone.
It seems we'll not know what it was that happened, but we can surely see, it's something beyond a generic imagination. Again, that damned WHY, comes up. This time, let's play with it a little bit, shall we? These human behavior guessing games can be fun, at the very least, a test of one's mental stability. Not to interrupt your serious thought process, I'll take three simple guesses.
1. This young man, tried desperately to wear his mother's make-up and jewelry, but each time, his father would beat him severely and lock him in a cold, dark basement for days, until he promised to never do it again?
2. Due to a crippling shyness and inability to communicate, his therapist suggested he do something unusual, to attract attention and perhaps, stand out in a crowd.
3. He sincerely thinks he looks awesome.
I'm just overwhelmed with anticipation, to read your in-depth analysis of why a person would subject their head to such slaughter. I knew this would be fun. So why am I crying? This is the horrendous stuff of a parent's nightmare.
Basically, or should I say, Bagelly, we probably shouldn't think this is the ultimate of bodily insults...the creme de la creme of Body Art. Bagel Heads are just the latest.......Bangle-Face having become a bit boring, I imagine. Some new and more curious fad is just around the corner. Be patient. We won't miss it, even if we try to.
I'm a little concerned about my cat, "Noggins." He reads over my shoulder as I write. A few minutes ago he took off into the kitchen and I heard a lot of banging and clanging going on. He just came walking back into the office...and I don't know....What do you make of this?
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