To All The Soon to Be Mothers: Your Acne Treatment During Pregnancy Remedies.

To All The Soon to Be Mothers: Your Acne Treatment During Pregnancy Remedies.

You are about to have a child, congratulations.  Will it be a boy or a girl?  The world is so happy for you.  This a good thing--you have this child; the world will probably have a new Albert Einstein or Alexander Graham Bell.  This is all because of you and your partners effort.  But wait.  This doesn't matter to you.  You are not focused on your pending participation in birth.  YOU ARE TOO DAMN FOCUSED ON YOUR FACE!  Talking about ego over here...jeez.  Nevertheless, being a good Samaritan, I want to teach you some acne treatment during pregnancy remedies that my Grandmother told me.

Here are the acne treatment during pregnancy remedies:
Consult your doctor before you try any of these tactics.

  1. Go for a walk.  Get up in the morning feeling so fresh.  Stretch for about 30 minutes or so to get the blood flowing through your body.  Next Put on the walking shoes and head outside.  Oh wait!  Go back into the house and put on some clothes.  Now go back outside and walk for a good hour.  I want you to sweat out the greasy s*** from your face.  If you feel so inclined walk for two hours--this might turn your child into an athlete.  But make sure you don't run.  I don't want you to topple over and land on your stomach.  If this happens...this won't happen.  Walk slowly.  Don't be dumb.
  2. You can try to will your acne away by staring it down in the mirror.  Go to your washroom and lock the door.  Light some candles and turn on some music.  Turn out the lights.  Now look at your pimple covered face.  Give each and every pimple a dirty look.  You never know it could get scared then pack up and leave.
  3. Rub your belly and hope for the best.  Well, if you believe is the supernatural or superstition try what people have been doing to Buddha for years.  Rub your belly intensely and say, "I will have acne no more...I will have acne no more."  Do this for a solid hour each day for one week.  If luck is on your side your acne will disappear.  Next check into your local hospitals psych ward.  You're crazy...
  4. Wait for the baby to kick. We know you have a child.  It has been established.  There is no doubt that the thing in your belly will eventually kick.  This is some attempt to escape your fat belly.  It probably thinks, "I want out of this place.  I am claustrophobic."  Well, when the little rug rat starts to kick, you have to snap your fingers and make a wish.  Don't tell anyone what your wish will be, but I am pretty sure it will be along the lines of getting rid of your acne.  

These were acne treatment during pregnancy remedies.  These remedies should be attempted slowly but surely.  You do not want to trouble your pending problem child.  He or she will be the reason why your future will have laughter and excitement.  Stick to whatever plan you use to get rid of your acne.  Next thing you know, you have 10 times more acne...no...wait...you have a clear face?  Good luck...Dr. Jawn.


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