Vanishing Significances

My girlfriend whom I have been friends with for over thirty years sends me a present every year for Christmas and birthdays.

For many years after my divorce she has sent me the most beautiful lingerie from Victoria’s Secret, wishing I would somehow use them. But I am a very practical person and either gave them away to other friends or donated them to Salvation Army so that at least someone can use them.

She got tired of sending me those lovely womanly things because when she asked, “Have you used the latest one I sent you?” The answer was always the same. “I gave it away to someone who would actually use them.” I have had no need for them. 

If there Is one thing one can count on me for, it is that I will always tell the truth at that moment one asks, but the people who ask are also aware that those can change. For example, I may not be hungry now, but I could be later or vice versa. It makes things very simple. I live in moment to moment truths.

This year she sent me a whole set of skin care and the instructions on how to use them. She is a chemist, used only to the best and so I actually read everything she wrote on the separate card and will summarize them here.

The specific products you can ask me if you are interested. Here are the instructions :

1. Use sunscreen. The higher the SPF, the better. Never leave home without it.

2. Use the body skin firming cream. This I do not need to do, I think.

3. Use vanishing cream at night to get rid of the age spots. I must admit this I have to use. One of the costs of being pregnant is the change in the hormones and we get more susceptible to sun damage. It is a fact.

4. Use eye cream to get rid of the puffy eyes.

5. Eat well. Drink lots of water.

The vanishing cream is imported. I will not write it here. The major component is hydroquinone. The scientific name of it is Benzene-1,4-diol or quinol, is an aromatic organic compound that is a type of phenol, having the chemical formula C6H4(OH)2.

I came to think about that word, vanishing.

To vanish according to Merriam Webster online means this :

intransitive verb

1 a : to pass quickly from sight : disappear

b : to pass completely from existence

2: to assume the value zero

transitive verb

: to cause to disappear

van·ish·er noun

Examples of VANISH

1. The missing girl vanished without a trace a year ago.

2. The papers seem to have vanished into thin air .

3. Dinosaurs vanished from the face of the earth millions of years ago.

Origin of VANISH

Middle English vanisshen, from Anglo-French vaniss -, stem of vanir, envanir, esvanir, from Vulgar Latin *exvanire, alteration of Latin evanescere to dissipate like vapor, vanish, from e- + vanescere to vanish, from vanus empty

First Known Use: 14th century

Related to VANISH

Synonyms: dematerialize, dissolve, evanesce, evaporate,fade, flee, fly, go (away), melt, sink, disappear

Antonyms: appear, materialize

Hydroquinone will lighten the age spots. Four percent hydroquinone applied consistently is supposed to vanish all the age spots. The purpose of the vanishing cream is to lighten unnecessary dark spots or discolorations on the skin. In mine, the only ones I have are those areas that are consistently exposed to the sun. The face. One can see them on my picture. I do not use make up and I have thrown away make up sets.

There is a caveat when one uses this, it is imperative that the skin never be exposed to the UV rays without sunscreen. The sunscreen actually has to be applied an hour before going out into the sun. Where I live, there is always sun, even if it does get cold.

I thought about the vanishing effects. When one takes away the awareness of something, anything, then the importance of it vanishes. It actually disappears. It is very tricky and it will take a while before one realizes this but when one is aware one can prove it experientially, and then a whole new world opens.

To vanish the significance of something, anything, one has to be able to go into it, be it, then view it from another perspective. Try it with something right in front of you. Anything will do. A pen, a rock, a quarter. It does not matter what. When I was doing it as part of the course, it took me a half day to do the exercise, to be good at it so above all else be patient with yourself and don’t push. The trick really is to do it effortlessly. This will take time and lots and lots of practice. When you get really good at it, you will find that it will be very difficult to get upset, because you can vanish the significance of anything, at will.

I used the cream so that I can tell my friend that I am actually using the presents she sent. There was considerable change, overnight. This is theoretically impossible, but perhaps, I willed it to be so, so that I can validate to her that her system works. She is fifty and looks thirty five. Magic,

© 2010 Melinda M. Sorensson

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Comments 45 comments

Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago

You are so blessed with such a special friend. I like the skin care tips she gave. Looking 35 when I reach 50 is great ! Thanks for sharing.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Yes,one of the most generous people I know...beyond generous, and yes she does look very young. Yes, you need to take care of your skin now. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Ingenira.


kathryn1000 profile image

kathryn1000 5 years ago from London

That was interesting about the word vanish.But I suspect that cream is dangerous.Make sure to find out before you use it too much


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Kathryn. It is absorbed in the skin, the degradation products are cleared by the kidneys and the liver so one has to have healthy liver and kidneys to use it, and then only for a short period of time to reverse the trauma to the kidneys and liver.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

Great friend, great present and great hub.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Thank you, pop!

Indeed...she is a great friend...someone who will walk from her bed while very ill, go to her computer, turn it on just to give me a loving slap via email before checking into the hospital...generosity.

She is a blessing to everyone and I wish for everyone to have a friend like her.


Rhonda Waits profile image

Rhonda Waits 5 years ago from The Emerald Coast

She is a great friend to you. You are a great friend to her as well. I had rather be told the truth from my friends. That is what makes a true friend. Great hub.

Thanks for sharing it with us.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Rhonda.

Yes, this is the beauty of friendship as a gift.

They will not tell you what you want to hear, they will always be honest with you because trust is implicit, that they can be who they are with you and vice versa, and the love will continue even if once in a while you get mad at each other, although I really cannot remember ever having been mad with her.

She has been a rock of support, no matter where I am in life and no matter how far away we live from each other.

Our friendship has been tested again and again with the good times and the bad...and we have remained.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

Your friend sounds like she really cares about you and that is worth a lot. Very good hub, rated up.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Hi, Pamela, Happy New Year!

Thank you. Yes, she is a caring person.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Thank you, Melinda, for the interesting and worthwhile keeping-your-skin-looking-beautiful tips.

With regard to vanishing, if I slather vanishing cream all over myself will I become invisible?

Anxiously awaiting your response before I attempt any nefarious schemes. :)


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Thank you drbj for the hearty laugh, much appreciated!

ha ha..I love that word, nefarious. It sounds exciting, beguiling, intriguing, captivating...

With regards the vanishing, I was only referring to things that would normally annoy...

I would not slather vanishing cream all over you, dear dr. You are much too precious, you give joy to people..

Much love,

Melinda


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

Thank you Melinda, for a very profound and endearing hub, you're blessed to have such a friend. Thanks for sharing. Godspeed. creativeone59


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

Oh my, that I want to vanish does not vanish when I use vanishing cream. So I’ve decided to ignore it. I agree with your philosophical thoughts about vanishing: “... When one takes away the awareness of something, anything, then the importance of it vanishes....you can vanish the significance of anything, at will.”

I’m practicing this daily and am slowly but certainly getting on top of it. Thank you for an interesting and inspiring hub, Melinda. Tot weersiens.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Thank you, creativeone59. I am indeed blessed with such a one. God Bless.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Martie!! Yes...please do let me know of your experiences, I am interested!


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 5 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

When I see an announcement you have written a hub, I know its going to be another thought provoking hub. Reading your hub reminds me yet again, that taking the focus off something makes it dissapear by not feeding it with the energy of one's attention. Its been said creation cannot exist without perception. Your thoughts on vanishing comes in handy as I start the New Year, so thank you for this!


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Hi, VioletSun,

Thank you. Yes...it is exactly how you described it!!

Thank you for writing it that way and sharing!!

Happy New Year!!


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 5 years ago from London, UK

I also got a friend for the last 50 years and when I had problems with my marriage she was there to help. None of the other friends wanted to know and slowly but surely vanished. They didn't have you cream, did they? I don't think, I can find a truer friend.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Thank you, hello hello...yes..it appears that this happens a lot..you find who your friends are when you lose something...a spouse, through divorce, your money through combination of things...

Thank you for dropping by, hello hello. Much appreciated.


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 5 years ago from I'm outta here

What a delightful story, funny how your friend kept trying to get you to see it her way and yet finally it came down to vanishing cream... the old vanished and the new came, ironic don't you think? I enjoyed your light hearted story and yet found great meaning in it. It's great that you have a wonderful friend who cares so much to think of your happiness. Love,Peace and Joy, Katie :)


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

It is very sweet actually and sometimes it was really funny because the lingerie were beautiful and sexy...

Oh I should have written this at the end of the story...what she wished for me was what she found, the love of her life.

Thank you, katie~~


SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 5 years ago from Philippines

To be aware of something but unattached to it when emotional binds are strong takes much discipline.we would rather just find some distraction or sweep it under the rug and pretend it never exist. A vanishing cream might do the trick too :)


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

This is so true, silentreed. It takes tremendous discipline to be aware of something and be unattached to it.

But it is our attachments that bind us and create suffering.

Perhaps it will be helpful to know that the value of anything is purely perceived. Something that is not there can easily change. For example, the value of the stocks of Apple is completely dependent on Steve Jobs...

One can begin with little things.

A vanishing cream will not work with the mind. It is so completely steeped in programming...

Better to begin with meditation.

Thank you, SilentReed.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon

My husband got a huge kick out of the tightening creams I was buying. Oh well, we do what we can! Did you see Katie2's hub on the cellulite roller? Now that I could use.....too funny about the Victoria's Secrets going to waste....if I don't use mine, Bob ends up wearing them....on his back of course!


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Thank you, akirchner...I am laughing so hard.. Thank you!


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA

I enjoyed this hub Mel and you get the GL stamp of approval of never telling a lie! As for the beauty creams, if you look like your photo, you don't need any cream, vanishing or not! I maintain the most effective cream is a good sunblock that wards off the UV damage. I'm glad you reviewed the whole vanishing thing,though. Great insight into the fact that the things that have meaning in our lives (even the worries) lose importance when we stop giving them any attention. Namaste.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Hillary, for the compliment and for always giving such wonderful insights!! Namaste~


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

Another top-notch hub from you, Melinda. How blessed you and your dear friend are, to share such a friendship. I also admire your honesty. To be as upright as you, is a goal I am continually working at. I am to concerned with other peoples feelings. I am seeking a "happy medium". Perhaps you can help me. About the vanishing lesson - until recently, when I looked in the mirror I would always concentrate on my dark spots and of course become upset. Lately, I concentrate on my nice eyes and mouth, ignoring the age spots. Because I now give them no power, they are almost gone! :-) Thank you lovely Melinda for yet another learning lesson. Blessings!


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Beloved Audrey, I am so human and perfectly capable of lying, cheating, stealing ....I recognize greed, lust and anger, and jealousy, and I know when I am being sucked into those emotions.

I made a decision when my son was little that I could either shield him from the truth or just tell him all of it.

It was a difficult decision but I am glad I made that decision. It makes things a lot easier.

I live in moment to moment truths. They are not fixed and in that sense my sense of right and wrong are also not fixed. I hope this makes sense to you.

Oh..you need not worry about those age spots, beautiful Audrey. Just do your best and pretend they are not there...

Thank you for your lovely comment.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, I could definitely use vanishing cream sometimes, especially when someone wants me to do something! ha ha but you certainly made a good point about taking away the 'wanting' of something, therefore making it vanish, there is so much 'rubbish' that we hold on too, somethings are meant to disappear, cheers nell


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

I could not have put it any better, Nell.

Thank you!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

Oh Oh it's magic! She who was fifty looks thirty-five! What a friend you have! Thank you for this Hub. I get it. We all reach the vanishing point. :-)


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Thank you James.Indeed...she looks young!!

Thank you for dropping by James and leaving your comment.

Much appreciated!!


Springboard profile image

Springboard 5 years ago from Wisconsin

Perhaps it goes to say that if you wish something to be so, then so it will be. I know I've heard that somewhere. It's like when I take my cache of vitamins every day I wonder do I feel better because the vitamins make me feel better, or because I think taking the vitamins SHOULD make me feel better. Even if it's really a placebo effect, I'll take that over not taking the vitamins at all, because who knows? I don't think it will kill me. Going back to the if you wish something to be, so it will be thought, it's a bit off topic per se, but I have tried this many times with my bank account, imagining more zeros before the decimal, and unfortunately in this context it doesn't work. Oh well, but interesting when it comes to the bank account, the word "vanishing" does seem to have a role. :)


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

Wow she must be such a great friend to you. Simply a great read. Thank you.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Hi, Springboard...Thank you

I have not been here much..

Indeed acaetnna...Thank you


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

This isn't what I thought it would be. It seems like all my significant physical attributes are vanishing. Anyuway, you have a powerful intellect and I have enjoyed seeing it in action!


msorensson profile image

msorensson 4 years ago Author

Wow, thanks, WD Curry111. I am honored.


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 4 years ago from Houston, Texas

We all need a handful of good friends in our lives and whether the vanishing cream works or not, you are lucky to have this individual who gave it to you as a gift in your life. Interesting hub!


msorensson profile image

msorensson 4 years ago Author

Yes..Indeed..sometimes our friends save us from ourselves..

Thanks,Peggy for dropping by and leaving a comment.


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

This both witty and informative. Very well done. I will read more.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 4 years ago Author

Thanks, xstatic..


toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 4 years ago

Very enjoyable hub. And I liked the surprise ending. I didn't expect you to use the gift. Thanks for writing from your heart and telling the truth in your hubs too.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 4 years ago Author

Thanks toknowinfo. Much appreciated.

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