What NOT to Wear - Seriously!

Southern Food, Walmart, and Mirror Nazis: A BAD Combination

I'm convinced that there are more fat folks in the South - I mean, I really love southern food, but it's not exactly low calorie. Rut-roh - I said "fat." To be PC I guess I need to change that to slim-challenged. I don't mind people being f-, oops - slim-challenged. I fit that category myself. Heck, I'm always surrounded by great southern food like fried chicken, pork barbecue, buttermilk biscuits, rice and gravy, cracklin' cornbread...you get the picture. Fat is fine, but it shouldn't be on display. If you're in love with southern food, and your bod shows it, that should be between you, God, and your fried chicken - don't share the results with the innocent and unprepared public. Same goes for the protruding bones of those at the other end of the scale. What I'd like to know is: When were mirrors outlawed in the South? And how come nobody told me about it? That’s the only explanation I have for some of the clothing choices I’ve been seeing lately. I’ve always tried to follow the sage advice of the gifted philosopher, Drew Carey, who said, “If it don’t look good naked, cover it the hell up!”

I’m fat. I know I’m fat – and I have a mirror. I dress accordingly. The only revealing thing I ever wear is a low-cut blouse occasionally, when we go to a party. This is the one part of the female anatomy where most men seem to prefer “fat.” Somehow the looking-glass Nazis overlooked the mirrors in my house and did not confiscate them. Unfortunately, many citizens in the South were not so lucky. Somewhere there’s a huge warehouse filled to the brim with mirrors of every sort, probably ironically stacked next to cases of the 6,425 varieties of babecue sauces we southerners consume regularly. The former mirror owners are in a state of total denial without the constant reminders of their own reflected images.

For some strange reason, the mirror-challenged in the South seem to frequent Walmart…a lot. They're probably loading up on pork ribs, hams, Boston butts, and hog lard. You can see a few of them in there most any time of day, but to witness the really hardened image criminals in large numbers, you’ll need to go to the retail giant at around two or three in the morning. That’s when the truly delusional come out. I suppose they think the cover of darkness will hide them, but unfortunately, inside the store are glaring bright lights that hide nothing.

On any of my typical wee-hours shopping adventures to Wally World, there’s no telling what I might see in the way of bad apparel. I usually see several huge middle-aged women who have crammed their size 12 extra-extra-wide feet into size 8 narrow high heels. The results resemble dough rising up and over the shoes in the flesh’s effort to escape its bonds. Sometimes these ladies can barely hobble around in these “cruel shoes,” but hey, they think they look good, and beauty knows no pain.

And speaking of pain, what’s up with all these really fat women and spandex? Do they think hot pink skin-tight spandex is slimming?? That kind of outfit just has to be painful. I mean really, I don’t see how some of them breathe. It seems that circulation to important parts of their body would be severely restricted.

And then there's the pajama crowd. They show up to shop in their jammies and bedroom slippers. It's as if they woke up suddenly from a sound sleep and thought, "I must go to Walmart! Now! I don't have time to throw on some clothes!" What could be so important that would prevent one from getting dressed to appear in public??

Evidently, The Dukes of Hazzard must have a cult following here in the Deep South. You know how Trekkies go to those nerdy conventions and dress up like their favorite Star Trek characters? Walmart must be the gathering site for Hazzard aficionados, and they’re all fans of the same character – Daisy Duke. How have I come to this conclusion? Because they’re all wearing a pair of Daisy Dukes. For non-U.S. readers who aren’t familiar with this particular article of clothing, let me explain. Daisy Dukes are cut-off bluejean shorts – “shorts” being the key word. These things are so short that the lower half of the wearer’s ass cheeks hang out the bottom. Yeah, these might look sexy on Daisy, but the women I’m referring to would make at least three of Ms. Hazzard.

A close relative of the Daisy Duke short shorts is the Southern garment known as the "Bermuda-all." Bermuda-alls are overalls that have been cut off to make shorts. For the perfect fashion statement, apparently ill-fitting tank tops are the only tops that can be worn underneath a pair of Bermuda-alls.

And one more thing about the Walmart mirrorless crowd: Why the midriff tops? Weren’t they designed to show off a flat, taut belly? Perhaps one with six-pack abs? I don’t think the original designer meant for them to serve as a showcase for displaying gunts and twattermelons. I’ve seen plenty of women wearing these short tops who had more rolls than Parkerhouse.

And I can't leave the guys out. Here in the South, we have what's commonly referred to as the MMM - the manly male midriff. It's a tee shirt that is much too small to cover a ginormous beer gut, so it stops somewhere above the navel. Since men are notrious for buying jeans to fit under their bellies, there's always a big gap of exposed flesh between the top of the jeans and the bottom of the shirt. Ironically, many of these tees say "No fat chicks." If only they had a mirror...

Okay, enough about Walmart. Let’s examine another venue where clothing miscalculations are rampant: the beach. Ironically (and thankfully so), the slim-challenged around here seem to get suddenly modest and conservative when going to the beach. Go figure. It’s usually the opposite end of the spectrum who decide to eschew the advice of the venerable Mr. Carey. Here, it’s the old bony folks who want to show off their svelte bods. You see, in the South, some older folks don't have teeth, so they can't eat the southern food favorites any longer. As a result, they often get skinny. Gerbers doesn't make a "southern barbecue" flavor.

My husband and I once witnessed a perfect male body contest in Nassau, where plenty of gorgeous male hunks were competing. They all had bulging muscles, broad shoulders, and glistening sun-kissed skin, and I must admit, I was enjoying all the eye candy. Then from the back of the crowd the last contestant appears. He had to be at least 85 years old – seriously - and much to my embarrassment, we later discovered that he was a southerner. He paraded out onto the stage in a muscle shirt and a pair of long swim trunks, and I thought it was kinda cute. But then he began stripping off his clothes in time to the music. I was horrified and tried not to look, but my eyes were glued to him. It’s like passing a bad wreck on the highway – you don’t really want to see all the blood and gore, but something compels you to gawk. The old guy ended up with just a tiny Speedo. He closely resembled a little white sheet in bad need of ironing.

And then there are the old ladies at the beach who are so skinny that they have absolutely no butt or boobs, yet they insist on wearing the smallest g-string they can find. When your hip bones stick out farther than your boobs, you’re too skinny. When you can store change and other small items in the wrinkles on your body, you don’t need to be in a thong. When you can count every rib on a body and even the breast bone, you’re too skinny to be showing off your body! I don’t want to see old Grim Reaper-types in bikinis or Speedos any more than I want to see Jabba the Hut-types in revealing clothing. Heck, I just want to buy the bony ones a hotdog or some fried fatback or something else equally calorie laden.

A public high school is another venue rampant in clothing crimes. When I was teaching, I got soooo tired of seeing the underwear of "cool, hip" male students. The waist of their jeans would somehow hug the lower section of their buttocks, defying gravity. Thank God their boxers were snug enough to spare me the view of their bare asses. Frankly, I'm rather surprised I never got charged with sexual harassment - as they entered my classroom, and I was standing by my doorway, I'd always reach over, grab a belt loop, and pull up their pants. And the girls were just as bad - maybe worse. As I would stroll around the room with my students seated, 99% of the females were showing off their "coin slots" and thongs above their oh-so-low-hung jeans. Wonder what I would have received if I had dropped in a quarter? Fired, probably!

Hmmm…can’t get those ribs out of my mind. Think I’ll go get some good ole southern barbecue!

Wanna read more about us quirky Southerners? Click the links below the Amazon books!

The "coin slot" crowd.
The "coin slot" crowd.
A defective mirror??
A defective mirror??

More by this Author


Comments 347 comments

jiberish profile image

jiberish 7 years ago from florida

How True! I went to the mall two days ago, and the manikins look like they all shrunk to a size zero. I'm a fairly small person, but ..give me a break! If you go to the woman's department, the clothes are all plain, and old looking. I think I have some of those same clothes in my closet from years ago. Who ever designs the clothes obviously never wore them. I agree, some people should just stay away from spandex! Very Funny, keep Hubbing!


habee profile image

habee 7 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Jib! I often dress in bright colors, but I don't show skin that no one wants to see! You know what I mean. lol


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 7 years ago from London, UK

I always say that some people couldn't have look into a mirror. You should dress to look nicer and not more awful. Thank you for this hub.


readytoescape profile image

readytoescape 7 years ago from Central Florida

Great Commentary, I had a hub similar to this in the chute, but your version tops what I was writing, filed mine with the mirrors.

“Twattermelons” now that’s funny, God I love “Southern Speak,” we really are a creative lot when it comes to vocabulary.

Your hub reminds me of the lady I heard say somewhere, “her favorite store was Dollar General,” she liked it better than Walmart because “you didn’t have to get all dressed up to go like you do for Wally World”

Very funny stuff, keep it up and I’ll invite you to my next redneck birthday party.


ralwus 7 years ago

LOL you have me laughing now! hahaha You are right on too. Do you know about peopleofwalmart.com? check it out habee


habee profile image

habee 7 years ago from Georgia Author

HH, thanks for stopping by!

Ready, I'd LOVE to come to your birthday party! Can I wear my bermuda-alls?

Charlie, I'll check out the site. Wonder if my friend has been to it. She had seen a pic somewhere of a lady in pink spandex, and I had just seen one in Walmart. We started discussing what not to wear, so I decided to write about it.


trose 7 years ago

Oh no! I think I need to invest in a full length mirror! Hee, hee, hee...Fun article!


habee profile image

habee 7 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, trose! It was meant in fun!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California

This was one of the funniest pieces that I've read in a long time. By the way it's not just down south, it's all over. Here in sunny So. Cal, believe me it's worse. And we get it all year long. Skinny here is worshiped, so your observation about the beach bunnies are really prevalent here. More, more, more!


habee profile image

habee 7 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, FF. Nice to know it's not just "us"!


Ms Chievous profile image

Ms Chievous 7 years ago from Wv

You forgot about the women who wear the midrift shirts to only have their sides and belly ooze out of it! Also I have acually seen women wear curlers to the store! cute hub


habee profile image

habee 7 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.


Nemingha profile image

Nemingha 7 years ago

What a treat! It takes a lot to make me laugh but you pulled it off wonderfully! My pet peeve is hipster jeans which, apart from poster models, don't look good on anybody.


habee profile image

habee 7 years ago from Georgia Author

I totally agree. When I was teaching, I got so tired of seeing all the teenage girls' butt "coin slots"! Thanks for visiting!


orchidmyst profile image

orchidmyst 7 years ago from Redding Ca

that was great,,i'm not fat and i'm not too skinny..size 6..but I hate seeing bony chicks with their ribs sticking out on the beach..and I really hate the spandex with crop top look on those big women...its pretty gross..thanks for the laughs


Paraglider profile image

Paraglider 7 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

Yes, a good fun one. A few candid pics along the way would have been nice - or maybe not!


Lapis Lazuli 7 years ago

I am fairly new to the HubPages. So new, I still have not written a Hub yet. Instead, I am reading about Hubbers and what they have to say.

Lady, I must tell you, that your Hub I just read is so well written, I am still laughing.

You have a talent few have, never forget.

The way you write is so unique, you are an original thinker.

Keep on Hubbing, so one day, your healing words will be published as they should.

You style of writing is so out there, you touched me deeply.

Few do.

You have a talent and a knack, never forget. We need people like you to inspire us to surpass our daily challenges.


habee profile image

habee 7 years ago from Georgia Author

Paraglider, I thought about adding pics, but I didn't want to offend anyone. Thaks for reading!

Lapis, wow! Your words mean a lot to me! Let me know when you get a hub or two up so I can read them!


Christa Dovel profile image

Christa Dovel 7 years ago from The Rocky Mountains, North America

This is really funny, but oh so true! I'd love to find that warehouse and start re-distributing those mirrors.


habee profile image

habee 7 years ago from Georgia Author

Maybe we could make it a hub group project! Thanks for visiting!


Tiffany Earrings 7 years ago

HH, thanks for stopping by!


mistywild profile image

mistywild 7 years ago from Houston, TX (Proud Texan)

great hub. And Walmart is for the clothing impaired, for sure.


habee profile image

habee 7 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks for reading, Misty!


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 7 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

Great hub. I will confess I hate the baggy pants halfway down the boxer shorts look most. I know I would be arrested as some kind of pervert if I ever walked up to some kid and pulled their pants up, but it's still tempting. My next-most hated look is the wrinkly-skinned old-lady fitness freaks, parading around in string bikinis, the skin on their bony flesh radiating with a pre-cancerous glow from too many hours spent in a tanning booth. I realize I'm not really talking fashion here, but every time I see one of these ladies I wince.

Thanks for your post, I'm still laughing.


Anath profile image

Anath 7 years ago

I think that is true especially In America. In Europe most people are more fashion conscious. You rarely see those horrors walking around the streets of Paris, Milano, Rome or Barcelona.


habee profile image

habee 7 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Mike. I totally agree!

Anath, I think you're right. We're a rowdy bunch here who often don't pay enough attention to the "fashion ploice"! Thanks for reading.


pennyhowington profile image

pennyhowington 7 years ago from Mesa, AZ

Kudos! As I often tell my teenage son, "If I wanted to see your underpants, I'd look in your dresser!" :)


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Funny! We used to be embarrassed when people saw our underwear! Thanks for reading.


Disturbia profile image

Disturbia 6 years ago

This is a great hub, funny but true.

Unfortunately, some people with distorted body images don't see themselves as they really are when they look into the mirror.

As for the baggy pants half way down the boxer shorts and the thongs sticking out over of too low rise jeans, I console myself with the knowledge that like all outrageous fashion fads this too shall pass.


The Rope profile image

The Rope 6 years ago from SE US

As always, a fun read. Thanks! I have no less than 7 mirrors in my house so maybe I need to share!

I agree with "Disturbia" - I'm counting on the fact that this too shall pass. Remember how our mothers nagged us because of the length of our skirts? I remember my mother actually making me perform various tasks to ensure that I could do it without others seeing my "business". :)


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Oh, Disturbia and Rope, I certainly hope it passes...quickly! Thanks to both of you for reading and commenting!


Mortgagestar1 profile image

Mortgagestar1 6 years ago from Weirton,West Virginia

We live in a classless society! People show little or no class these days. I enjoy watching old movies and seeing old photos of teh past. Imagine, men and women actually taking time to dress well. we have gone from men wearing sport jackets, ties, and stylish headwear to the slob and grunge look.

The rock band ZZ Top had a song entitled " Sharp Dressed Man ". Daily we see men wearing ballcaps sideway and backward and wrong ways. Newsflash!!! Wearing hats indoor is considered rude and rube.

Most men today look like train wrecks. No belts, dirty shoes, miss match clothes and ungroomed. He see people dining out like pigs at a slurry trough. Children are also lost in etiquettes. Foul mouthed and little manners, the parents are simply not fit to raise our future generation.

Many American women are just as bad. Latino women will say how they enjoy being "feminine" while the average American woman goes out looking like a scene from " Night Of The Living Dead". No makeup, shabby stained clothes, and unkept hair. Imagine Marlyn Monroe or Greta Garbo being seen as a slob.

We also see people trying to pull off looks that are criminal compared to the ones who can pull of fashion statements. Like the mobidly overweight guy on the beach wearing Speedos or the severely out of shape woman trying to impersonate a pin up.

I would like to see schools bring back community dress standards and implement a class on self respect and throw in Emily Post's "Book Of Etiquette."


geekchick profile image

geekchick 6 years ago

I don't care if you're skinny or fat, I don't want to see your thong sticking out of your pants. I don't mind seeing anyone wearing low cut jeans, but come on, either wear a shirt long enough to pull down over the pants, or wear a belt so that nothing is exposed. Seriously, who wants to look at that?

Spandex. Ugh. I'm thin and I won't even wear spandex. I'm convinced you have to have the absolute right body to pull that look off. I wish instead of removing all mirrors someone would remove all spandex. Then we wouldn't have to worry about people stuffing themselves into spandex pants. Yuck.


Emily Currie 6 years ago

I could not have said it better myself! You definitely have a future in writing. I absolutely laughed out loud almost the whole way through reading your hub. You rock!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Hi, Mort. I'm not all into fashion or anything, but I do know what is and is not appropriate. Thanks for reading.

Geekchick, you sound like a pretty smart cookie! Glad you stopped by!

Emily, I am so glad you enjoyed the hub! Please come back to visit! I have several funny hubs - I love to laugh and to make others laugh!


ladyeagle_cdc profile image

ladyeagle_cdc 6 years ago from San Juan City, Philippines

WOW! i had a great time reading this hilarious hub. I like your style. Keep posting. BLESSINGS! :)


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

I'm glad you got some giggles! Thanks!


TattoGuy 6 years ago

Lol totally agree, nothin worse than the g-string scenario !


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Hey there, Tattoo! I finally figured out who you are. Glad you stopped by for a read!


itcoll profile image

itcoll 6 years ago

your style of writing amazes me.wish i wrote like you.


aefrancisco profile image

aefrancisco 6 years ago from somewhere down the road

this hub gave me a good laugh... :)

thanks for sharing...


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Itcoll, wow! Thanks for the wonderful compliment!

Aefrancisco, Glad you got some chucks from the hub. Thanks for reading!


Roshna 6 years ago

this hub gave me a good laugh... :)

thanks for sharing...


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Glad yopu enjoyed it, Roshna! Thanks for visiting.


clare 6 years ago

Great site !


midnightbliss profile image

midnightbliss 6 years ago from Hermosa Beach

very true yet funny. sometimes, people just were what's in in fashion and thinks they are hot, but they don't really consider how they look, wearing the latest trend does not follow that you look hot...


shareitt profile image

shareitt 6 years ago

Good reminder that retro clothes don't have to be worn, some of us already look retro ;>


mulberry1 profile image

mulberry1 6 years ago

Funny, but sadly it's all true. I think our mind is much more powerful than our eyes in creating what we think we look like. You've touched on most of my pet peeves. Of course another thing that makes me shake my head is people, women in particular, who wear their hair the same way they did when they were teenagers and now they are 50. It's long, fried, and nasty ....complete with the combs, and scrunchies that were popular 30 years ago. I want to take a razor to their heads sooo bad.


Nicks 6 years ago

I am afraid that I would agree with the comment about the US and Europe. It is a huge generalisation but people (most particularly in southern Europe) tend to dress better than in the States. Has anyone been to Spain and seen the dress sense there?


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks for reading, Clare!

I agree, Midnight. Style should be more individualized.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Shareitt, I'm in the same boat! Thanks.

Mulberry, your comment made me laugh, but it's very true. Glad you visited!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Nicks, I'm sure you're right. I don't bother to "dress up" unless we're going out to a special event. Thanks for reading!


apricotmousse profile image

apricotmousse 6 years ago

Nice hub! A coin slot on your back due to an ill-fitting pants is a no no. Thank you for this!


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

hi habee,

I have a low down pants and my T back always showing, the pants was given by my sister but I didn't wear it anymore as my eldest son thought it is not cool, dress accordingly and age appropriately too....

and am flat chested so I dont wear v neck, am thin, LOL

I like the humour in your writing,

Merry Xmas habee, to you and your family, Maita


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Mousse and Maita. Good of you to pay me a visit!


anonymous82 6 years ago

LOL!

You mean mirrors were outlawed in the US as well? It's not just Canada? We've got chicks walking around here with their shorts so short the pockets are hanging out the front! (Or at least I hope those are their pockets) Great article!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Hi, anonymous! Glad you enjoyed, and thanks for reading!


obetosama555 profile image

obetosama555 6 years ago

Great Commentary


Elena. profile image

Elena. 6 years ago from Madrid

Hi habee -- what a laugh, you got me going here, very well done! Midriff tops are the biggest offenders for me, I really can't get them on certain people. I keep telling myself, to each their own, but by gob, some people just have too much their own to show it off in a top! Laugh! Kudos, chica!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Ha! Your comment made me laugh, Elena. Thanks for reading!


Mini 6 years ago

And God gave them his blessing and said to them, Be fertile and have increase, and make the earth full and be masters of it; be rulers over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing moving on the earth.


RNMSN profile image

RNMSN 6 years ago from Tucson, Az

haha habee...now I and hubby and baby gil are back in ur heart home of tucson but dadgumit the wally perople are stll here!! dont you also hate the pjs that have dirt ebedded into them six inches form the cff and dont forget the fuzzy bedroom slippers!!

I keep hoping that by now the kids would have figured out that by wearing their pannts down below there butt was the prisons-persrsons way of saying "I will take it up my b--- if you protect me..."

on the other handd, marylyn I will never be...the makeup stopped when the enlightenment stated, my face cleaned up and the bra camw off...now it goes on only for work ,..no daisydukes for me even when I was small enough to wear them!!!,

just blue jeans and a

sweater or a shirt with my sleeveless down vest....a cowgirl at heart

great hub!!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Barb, I'm the same way! I only wear makeup to fancy parties anymore, and if I could go out in public without a bra, I would!! Glad you stopped by!


rebekahELLE profile image

rebekahELLE 6 years ago from Tampa Bay

thanks for the chuckles this late afternoon... excellent writing. funny about the mirrors, I once went to a walmart to buy a cheap sun hat for a trip I was taking, I walked all over looking for one mirror and couldn't find any!! I had to go into a dressing room to try on a hat... :/ thanks for sharing.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Funny about the hat! Glad you got some chucks from reading the hub, and thanks for visiting!


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago

gunt and twattermelon now those are two words that had me laughing out loud. You are such a terrific writer. You can write just about anything now can't you! Thanks for the laugh!


2Acting 6 years ago

What a funny article! Especially about the size 8 shoes!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Oh, thanks, Tammy. You made my day!

24, I'm so glad you got some chucks from the article. And thanks for visiting! come back soon - I have more funny pieces.


MissKitty22 6 years ago

You are absolutly right! Especially concerning the youth of America these days with their low slung clothing. And when did they stop making womens shirts that came to the belt line? Dunno!!! I too own a mirror and being a classy southern woman myself, I completely agree that maybe they should look in the home furnishings department the next time they visit WalMArt and buy one for themselves!!!


Uninvited Writer profile image

Uninvited Writer 6 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

That was hilarious.I still bear the scars as a teenager of seeing a woman who must have weight 250lbs wearing a haltar top.

And then there are the young men who wear pants with the ass hanging down to their knees...


NaomiR profile image

NaomiR 6 years ago from New York

Love this hub! We have fashion offenders up here in the North, too. As a large woman myself, I always get annoyed when plus size women wear tops that show off flabby, untoned arms. I know MINE need to be covered ... and I don't want to see theirs!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Miss Kitty, mirrors for all! Yay!! Thanks for commenting!

Hi, UW! Sometimes you just wanna be like Oedipus and rip out your own eyes, dontcha? Glad you stopped by!

Me, too, Naomi. I don't even like to look at my own fat - much less someone else's! Thanks!


Ohma profile image

Ohma 6 years ago

I think this is a great hub.

Recently there has been a swarm of women young and old coming into the store where I work in pajamas! I am not saying dress up but jeez at least get dressed before leaving your house.


Simply Brit 6 years ago

I loved this hub.

It's so true. People should learn to wear what looks good on their body. Some girls would look so much thinner if they covered more or simply bought a bigger size that wasn't so tight on them.

I'm perfectly fine buying a size up if it looks better. Size doesn't matter, look does.

Great hub!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Ohma and Brit, so nice of you to visit! I'm glad you enjoyed the hub. Come back any time!


Diskobolos profile image

Diskobolos 6 years ago

By far the worst 'fashion sin' that so many Americans make is to wear white sox with shoes. In Europe only the worst rednecks and truck drivers do that. It's a no-no, unless you're Micheal Jackson.:)


Albertttt profile image

Albertttt 6 years ago

I just wear a bucket on my head as it solves a lot of problems. But seriously, nice hub.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Disko, I hate that, too! But now you see fashionable guys wearing white socks with black shoes. What up with that?

Xia, thanks for reading!

Al, I actually know a guy who wears a bucket on his head! Nice to see you!


RTalloni profile image

RTalloni 6 years ago from the short journey

I always feel so sorry for the kids with their "hinnies" showing. In Walmart I once told a girl that she was "hanging all out behind." I began with a compassionate, "Oh honey!" She jumped up, and with the saddest face imaginable she told me, "I know." Then she ran away. Poor thing. She just needed someone to tell her that she didn't have to follow the crowd. She had no idea what to do with herself. And she is just one of many. But how can the the girls know what to do with their moms dressing like harlots when they go to work?


cowgirljess profile image

cowgirljess 6 years ago from Nor Cal

I really enjoyed this hub and found it very amusing. I find myself always pointing out how people dress.


J Burgraff profile image

J Burgraff 6 years ago

I loved your hub and now I have to throw my two cents worth in. My first dressing pet peeve is the mother who trys to dress as young as her teenage daughter and competes for attention with her. Bad mom!! I have also noticed a lot of people lately going to the store in their bedroom slippers and pajama bottoms. You might as well tattoo the word "lazy" on your forehead. Ok, I'm done ranting...


WildIris 6 years ago

What a hoot! I needed that laugh! My son, one of those "cool,hip" males student types, had his pants so low one day getting out of the car that they fell down to his knees as he walked across the parking lot. Come to think of it- he doesn't have a mirror in his bedroom either.


Danmara profile image

Danmara 6 years ago from Downingtown, PA

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So true.

I can't figure out the "gangster" pants fad either- how DO they stay up? Duck tape?


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 6 years ago from India

What goes on in the name of fashion makes me shudder! When did comfort become a bad word? Your observations are so bang on the mark!


G.Natarajan 6 years ago

I am from India and though I obvserve some of this Strip dress worn by some US Indians at temple the place of worship by Hindus. When they prostrate before God they offer themseves completely like our old Deva dasies system - the women who offer themselves in the service of God and live by their fine arts and sex to selected few elite.

At such sites I really wonder the wisdom of design of Indian sarees which suit every one lean, bulky, sexsual, and pious and devoted alike.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

R, you're right. some of these kids have no guidance at home. Thanks for reading!

Cowgirl, glad you enjoyed. Thanks!

Hi, J - yeah, that's messed up. Glad you stopped by!

Danmara, maybe the've glued veldro to their skin?? Thanks!

Thanks for your comments, Feline!

Iris, glad I gave yous ome chucks!


Stan Fletcher profile image

Stan Fletcher 6 years ago from Nashville, TN

Preach it Sister!

I was in Walmart the other day and almost dry heaved when I saw what a few folks in there were wearing.

Bring back mirrors!

I'm a fan!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Stan! So there's a mirror shortage in your neck of the woods, too, huh? lol


IntimatEvolution profile image

IntimatEvolution 6 years ago from Columbia, MO USA

I get so tired of seeing anal cleavage! Whose wants to see someone's butt crack?


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Ha! Anal cleavage - love that! Thanks!


Hot Babe Rita Gordon in a Hot Blue Swimsuit 6 years ago

Don,t put bikini in india


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

I found nice article about fashion in US. And it look interesting. I think teenager like wearing like that. But thanks to open your mind about this.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Hi, Prasetio! Thanks!


Writen4u profile image

Writen4u 6 years ago

That is funny. It also made me remember how I used to dress in high school with my oversized jeans and baggy shirts. We all have looked like fools at one time in our lives!

Maybe walmart can start putting a weight limit in the spandex section!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Glad you got some chucks, Writen!


Nicks 6 years ago

For elegant dress sense you should come to Spain. They seem to have it down to a fine art where often the UK (for casual wear)it is a disaster. It is really great to see people taking care - a small part of life that improves one's day...


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks for reading, Nicks! Spain certainly has its share of beautiful people!


Sharon Kay 6 years ago

This is the first time that I have actually written anything on on Hub but I read your article and totally agree with everything that you said. You hit one of my pet peeves right on the head. Sometimes I go out and see these kids and wonder Do you even have a Mom. What are they thinking? Well the answer is they don't think, about what they wear or how they look. It would be funny if it weren't so pitiful. Thanks for making me laugh, I only wish the ones who need to read it were reading it! Keep it coming girl.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Sharon, I'm honored that your first comment was made here! thanks for reading!


martinkono 6 years ago

I agree that clothes are an ornament for our bodies and a cover. Some people can wear less cover and others cannot. The point is to be awared of possibilities of decorating our body.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, MArtin!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

I would think type of audition, one would dress in formal or semi-formal attire. Good luck with the audition, Martin!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Gresivs, I agree - black is classic!


wsp2469 profile image

wsp2469 6 years ago from Alta Loma, Ca

Wow! Pictures worthy of one of MY hubs!

A sense of humor is such a good thing!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, WSP! I admire that quality in others, as well!


pinkylee 6 years ago

omg i loved it and can totally agree .. i use to work with some of these mirrorless people lmao


Hairupdostyles profile image

Hairupdostyles 6 years ago

made me laugh:) thank you!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Hi, Pinky! Thanks for reading!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Hairupdo, glad it gave you some chucks!


hollywoodjames profile image

hollywoodjames 6 years ago from USA

Great piece! There is no fashion nowadays...time to bring back the ball-crusher jeans and parachute pants!!!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

I hear ya, James!!


MrSpock profile image

MrSpock 6 years ago

Mr Spock says, "The third picture from the top - ewwwww"!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Scary, huh, Spock?? Tell Scotty to beam me up!!


festersporling1 profile image

festersporling1 6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

OMG, seriously! Some of your photos hilarious.

You have to know what you can get away with. For guys, how about the super skinny guys with the really baggy shirts that make their arms look tiny. or reversely the beer loving guy who is clearly and XXL and tries to get away with a L.


agaglia profile image

agaglia 6 years ago

Yes, we say nude bathers on a beach in Alecante, Spain and I can tell you it wasn't pretty. Tanned-to-leather skin on a skinny old body just doesn't have the appeal intended.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Fester, those are more good examples of what not to wear!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Agaglia, nothing like those svelte leather bods! lol


ysl shoes  6 years ago

Fester, those are more good examples of what not to wear!


Amez profile image

Amez 6 years ago from Houston, Texas

I have to admit, I have worn alot of weird clothes over the years, but this newer generation, has got one up on all of us. So just can'ty wait till my Grandchildren grow up. Great Hub.


Nicole Winter profile image

Nicole Winter 6 years ago from Chicago, IL

habee: Fantastic hub, thanks so much for publishing this. I laughed so hard!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Amez - true! Our weird stuff can't hold a candle!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Nicole. So glad you enjoyed!


Lovina57 profile image

Lovina57 6 years ago from Singapore

ah, yes... i wish more people would learn how to dress before going out in public..


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Most of us agree, Lovina!


lender3212000 profile image

lender3212000 6 years ago from Beverly Hills, CA

I saw a few more candidates for a featured spot at my local Walmart this evening. What is it about that place that seems to attract fashion disasters?


thepranksta profile image

thepranksta 6 years ago

This page is hilarious. Keep up the good work. I liked the pictures.


britneydavidson profile image

britneydavidson 6 years ago from united kingdom

this is really fanastic hub,thanks so much for publishing this hub. I laughed so hard.


Adam 6 years ago

I almost got sick when I saw the pic of the older lady in the little blue g-string.


bihar profile image

bihar 6 years ago from Patna

its amazing what people would wear.


maxx2010 profile image

maxx2010 6 years ago

really cool hub..


jayjay40 profile image

jayjay40 6 years ago from Bristol England

We have people that dress like this in the Uk as well. On a night out I saw a, lets say, elderly lady with a bare mid-drift. Her stomach was hanging like a fanny bag over her trousers, plus she had a belly button ring. LOL Great hub I loved reading it.


2besure profile image

2besure 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

Wow! That picture of Nana in a string bikini says it all. The problem with knowing what to wear, is perception. Everyone's is different. That is why someone can look in the mirror and think, 'boy I look hot' and they are, a hot mess! LOL


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Lender, I ask that same question all the time!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Glad you enjoyed, Pranksta!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Britney, thanks for stopping by!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Oops! Sorry, Adam! Didn't mean to make you sick!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Bihar, ain't it, though??


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Max! Glad you liked it!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Good, Jayjay - glad it's not just the US!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

2besure, it's those defective mirror, I tells ya! lol


MotherHubber profile image

MotherHubber 6 years ago from Southern California

H, very astute observations! Your hub only confirms

what I already suspected: due to the current

U.S economic crisis, many cutbacks have been made.

Such as eliminating all divisions of the fashion

police force!!

You might also like my hub called "Just Say No to Camel Toe

and Other Fashion Faux Pas."

We're birds of a feather!


bad sector 6 years ago

I like pict. a defective mirror?? cool... kekekeke


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, MH! I'll check it out now.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Badsector, glad you enjoyed!


Massagetherapistf profile image

Massagetherapistf 6 years ago from Carolyns Circle Plano, TX

Cool!


CarpetDiem profile image

CarpetDiem 6 years ago from Southern California

hi habee,

I agree with you that people probably should need a license to wear "daisy dukes", and that only certain people should be given those licenses... :)

But what do you think about crocs? I know that fad is over, but they are so COMFY. I still wear them... am I seriously uncool? :D


martycraigs profile image

martycraigs 6 years ago

Sometimes I feel like "what not to wear" advice is taking over the world! What about those of us who are looking for information on what TO wear! Of course, I'm only kidding.

Nice post, keep it up!


Ebower profile image

Ebower 6 years ago from Georgia

Ha This hub is so true! Thanks for putting in an entertaining, funny format! :)


Mog profile image

Mog 6 years ago from UK

This is such a funny hub and really well written. So true, when will people realise that just because you can squeeze into a size 10 doesn't mean it fits! You look better wearing clothes that don't cut you in half, but that actually fit the fat properly!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Massagetherapistf, thanks for reading!


pakblend 6 years ago

funny! and article is written nicely


oldskoolrocka profile image

oldskoolrocka 6 years ago from Johor

i cant accept a man wearing thong..hehe


scorpion123 profile image

scorpion123 6 years ago

hahhah i like the pic on the guy


Ladybird33 profile image

Ladybird33 6 years ago from Georgia USA

This is a GREAT hub!!! I loved it!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Carpet, Crocs make my feet look like big plastic boats! lol


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Marty. Glad you stopped by!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

So glad you enjoyed it, Ebower!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thank you, pakblend!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Oldskool, I agree! Isn't it a law or something??


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Scorpion. It's funny, huh?


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Wow, Ladybird, thanks! Glad you enjoyed!


QueenBee456 profile image

QueenBee456 6 years ago from Delray Beach, FL

Cute article. O, and actually in some cities having your boxers exposed is against the law. Could you believe that, makes you think twice about your outfit.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Wow, I didn't know that, Queenbee!


Albertttt profile image

Albertttt 6 years ago

Ha! Very nice.


rachitha profile image

rachitha 6 years ago from Mangalore

NEAT! Loved your sense of humour and style of writing.


Lisa HW profile image

Lisa HW 6 years ago from Massachusetts

Wow, Habee. That guy in the "Yikes" picture is a pretty unappealing site to see, isn't he..... LOL (It is a guy, isn't it? LOL)

What puzzles me beyond extreme "situations" like the ones you've shown is the people who would otherwise look absolutely great if they didn't "create" flaws by doing something like creating "muffin tops" that wouldn't even exist if they wore their pants a size bigger or their top an inch longer. A lot of these people (often young women) couldn't even "pinch an inch" if they didn't gather up whatever fat they can find and squeeze it out the top of their pants. :) Why do that - I wonder.... LOL


Entourage_007 profile image

Entourage_007 6 years ago from Santa Barbara, CA

Wow great hub, I feel like I can learn a lot from you, you have very impressive scores and hopefully one day I can have hubs that will do that for me as well. GREAT HUB! I appreciate any advice you have to offer


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Al!!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Awww, thanks, Rachitha! Sweet!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Lisa, how some folks dress is an enigma that will never be solved!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Wow! Thanks, entourage!


joeleighton profile image

joeleighton 6 years ago

Good old common sense should prevail...but in the case of teens, that theory goes out the window.

Having said that, if you have a good body why not show it?

Nice hub, rated it up.

Cheers, Joe


JenDobson27 profile image

JenDobson27 6 years ago

How true that is! I just don't understand why people dress the way they do, and how they can possibly feel comfortable in what they are wearing.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Joe! I think common sense is pretty rare these days.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Jen, I don't see how some of the folks can breathe!


mbwalz profile image

mbwalz 6 years ago from Maine

Thank you for that validating and hilareous hub. I laughed so hard, I had tears!

My mother went to finishing school (here in New England) and taught me that, no matter what size you were, you could look stylish and flatter your figure.

I am always amazed at the teens I see at the mall. Did their mothers actually let them out of the house like that? Then I went to a Photo/modeling/school information session and saw the mothers. Now, these were mothers who presumably were there to get their kids "in"! Can you say flip flops, dirty feet, and sweatpants?

Thanks for the great hub!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Mbwalz, I know exactly what you mean! You should see how some of the moms look at pageants - even the ones who walk their kids out on stage! Yuck! Thanks for reading!


Melissa McClain profile image

Melissa McClain 6 years ago from Atlanta, GA

What a funny, but true hub. I regularly check out the peopleofwalmart.com site just to give myself a laugh. Love your hubs btw!


sunforged profile image

sunforged 6 years ago from Sunforged.com

You found some truly disturbing photos that brought back many flashbacks of my own unfortunate glimpses at the mall and beach ..not sure how well I will sleep tonight.

but thank you for this PSA, i hope it works!


festersporling1 profile image

festersporling1 6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

I thought of your hub today when I saw a gentleman at the gym wearing some kind of spandex/sweat pants that he really had working a double over time.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Hi, Melissa! After I wrote this hub, a friend told me about the Walmart site. Too funny!!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Sunforged, I am indeed honored that one of the HP sages would visit my humble hub! Thanks!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Poor Daniel! Sorry you had to see that, pal!


GFX Sky 6 years ago

Jeans, always jeans, It's my choice :D


maxandmittens 6 years ago

This is a great hub!!! And I totally agree, that there are some things that you definitely should not wear! Great Hub! Thanks for my daily dose of laughter!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Jeans are hard to beat - and they can be dressed up or down!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, MandM! Glad you stopped by!


My Odyssey profile image

My Odyssey 6 years ago from Somerset, Kentucky

Wow great Hub! This reminds me of a few months ago I went into Wal Mart (In the middle of a snow storm) and there was no joke a middle aged lady wearing a mini skirt, black tank top---that was basically a belly shirt to her because she had sqeezed into about 3 sizes down. Then she was in heels!! I was completely baffled. Wake up America! Where is the professionalism?


msannec profile image

msannec 6 years ago from Mississippi (The Delta)

Thank you so much! I can't imagine how some people leave their houses looking like who-knows-what, and think they look fabulous. I saw a young lady at Wal-Mart in a two sizes-too small knit backless dress, with rolls for days in the front and back. Oh, and let me not forget the beige bra showing in this backless dress. I wanted to ask her who ok'd her outfit, Stevie Wonder, or Ray Charles (in his deceased state, no less, rest his soul). I keep trying to tell them, everybody can't wear everything. Thanks for putting this one out there.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

OMG, Odyssey, sorry you had to see that! lol


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Oh, Msannec, Ray and Stevie as fashion consultants - too funny!


brethodge profile image

brethodge 6 years ago from USA

Good Hub!!!

The whole hub is very much enjoyable and informative. The author gave a prime focus on beauty as quoted in the hub such as I usually see several huge middle-aged women who have crammed their size 12 extra-extra-wide feet into size 8 narrow high heels. The results resemble dough rising up and over the shoes in the flesh’s effort to escape its bonds. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful peace of text.


Jasnav profile image

Jasnav 6 years ago

Absolutely 'To The Point' hub! I fail to understand why the men and women of this world will continue to try and act like they were years younger. Clothes are the worst sufferers, naturally.

Most of such fat asses need to go on a healthy diet and stick to their age when it comes to dressing up. Wish them the very best, and lots of funtime to the others!


angel115707 profile image

angel115707 6 years ago from Galveston, TX

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are a great writer...I felt Like i could hear the tones, sarcasm, everything...Couldn't stop till the last word!!!!!hahahaha.....


lilly_dens profile image

lilly_dens 6 years ago

nice hub! it was fun! i agree with you that people should learn when and what to wear in any occasion. And i also don't like seeing girls or ladies showing parts of the body that shouldn't be shown. i mean, respect begets respect, if ladies out there want respect then i think they should all start by watching what they wear.

and i can't help laughing about those old people wearing thongs and small briefs and others! hahahah :D


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Bret, thanks for the kind words!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Jas, loved your comment!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Wow, Angel - I'm blushing! Thanks!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Lilly, glad you enjoyed this hub! Thanks for reading!


LDC2010 profile image

LDC2010 6 years ago from Canada

wow what a picture you have. Nice hub


eelamboy 6 years ago

hi eelam


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, LDC!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Hi, Eelam!


RachaelLefler profile image

RachaelLefler 6 years ago from Illinois

The thing you said about Wal-Mart is so hilariously true! :) Good hub...


RachaelLefler profile image

RachaelLefler 6 years ago from Illinois

See, I'm not fat all over but I have a bit of a belly. I recognize/accept this, and accordingly wear high waisted pants, shirts that COVER the midriff, and one-piece swimsuits. I also have big breasts, but like you said, being "fat" in this area isn't a problem. :D


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Rachael - see? You probably have a mirror at home! lol


Tara Tufford profile image

Tara Tufford 6 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

This hub was great woman! I don't understand why some woman feel the need to show off so much skin. Its mostly disgusting:( If they could only see that it is disrespecting to themselves in the long run! I'm "about" 143 lbs..lol..(give or take a few..) and I can tell you that I have never in my life had a coin slot on my backside or my frontside, nor have I ever wore stilettos..gross, not to mention I would probably fall down and break my neck!!! Hysterical hub, I loved it:) If only more woman could see it our way!


mhuze profile image

mhuze 6 years ago from USA

Great Blog! Especially liked the comments about Wally World. So true!


jen 6 years ago

I got tired of shopping at the malls; where the clothes have no style and design. But then most of other boutiques and shops are outrageously overpriced. So I decided to do something about it instead of complaining. I created my own fashion online store. www.mitteclothing.com. I launched it 2 weeks ago and hope to add a lot more inventory by the next month in late April. Some of the clothes that I have ordered are en route as we speak..


Jen 6 years ago

I got tired of shopping at the malls. Instead of continuously complain about lack of options for stylish and affordable clothes, I decided to do something about it by opening my own online boutique. It doesn't seem fair that only the rich and famous get to wear beautifully made clothes.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Lol, Tara! Glad we see eye to eye on this!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Mhuze! Glad you stopped by!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks for reading, Jen!


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 6 years ago from New York

very funny hub indeed. living in New York I can't say I'm ever surprised with what others choose to wear, but it still makes me shake my head in astonishment.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks for stopping by, One!


renfen88 profile image

renfen88 6 years ago

health is the most importmant wealth


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Hi, renfen!


Granny's House profile image

Granny's House 6 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

Very funny but true. Great hub.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Granny, glad you enjoyed it!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

This is too serious to joke about. Is it possible that you did not sell this to some magazine? No one bought it?

If this is true, what chance do any of us have of being published, if a brilliant piece like this has not been grabbed up by a newspaper or magazine, and the author retained to write a weekly collumn????

BRILLIANT!!! WELL DONE!!!! I THINK I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU....:-))))


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Before I added my comments and compliments, I just had to read all the other comments, some of which are pretty good reading too! Habee you've made a grim subject absolutely hilarious. I was laughing all the way through - your presentation is fabulous! But it is grim, how people go around looking these days!

And by the way - my friend De Greek steered me to this delightful article (he has a nose for the good ones!) He could have had no idea how it "spoke to me", though!

With two older sisters to make sure I didn't make boo-boos, a mother who sewed beautifully & my own sewing & designing bent, what else but to pay attention? My sister had me working on posture at 12 or 13 - the book-on-the-head bit, proper walking, everything. Today's teens slouch and slump like senile old-timers!

I was making my clothes by 13 & was taught to use the fine details used in couture construction. In home ec. classes at school we HAD to take a picture in a bathing suit in front of a full-length mirror and study it to determine what kind of clothes and patterns would do our bodies the most good! Very eye-opening! A good weight for the height doesn't guarantee that all the proportions are perfect! Knowing what there is to work with helps know what to do to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative, as the old song goes! There are things one can or cannot do with figure problems!

Obviously kids (or their mothers) today have no earthly idea of the jarring pictures they present. But then again, I suppose it would be jarring to them to see one their age who had some sense of style instead. The rule of the peers!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

De Greek, you don't know how honored I am by your comments and your email! I truly respect your opinion because you're such a wonderful writer. Also, thanks for steering Nellianna here! And BTW, I fell in love with you upon first reading one of your hubs!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Nellieanna, I'm flattered that you would read my hub and leave a thoughtful comment. Judging by your upbringing, as we Southerners are wont to say, "You were raised right!" lol


Deborah Demander profile image

Deborah Demander 6 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

This was hilarious. Another fashion don't, dressing like your teenage daughter. The late forty and early fifty something moms, with their bright blond hair teased to the hilt, dark tans, and teen-age girl mini skirts, and wrinkly legs is too much. But not as bad as tiny daisy dukes on a huge body. Thanks for a great laugh.

Namaste.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Deb, I'm so glad you enjoyed the humor!


katrinasui profile image

katrinasui 6 years ago

hahahah..very funny hub..


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Glad you enjoyed it, Katrina!


redemption86 profile image

redemption86 6 years ago from West Yorkshire

I love your hub and what you say is so true! In the uk we have another breed of human....the chav. They definitley dont have mirrors they dress so bad. Maybe I should write a hub about them and then you can all witness how bad they are!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Please write the hub, Redemption!


Rubysprings profile image

Rubysprings 6 years ago

great article need some pictures tho!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

It has pics - you want more?? lol


JerseyGirl profile image

JerseyGirl 6 years ago from Jersey Shore

This hub was great! So true are all of your words. It's getting warmer here in New Jersey; and the size 5 wanna-bees are coming out. Really, nevermind the mirrors; some people just don't have common sense. I couldn't believe the woman that I saw yesterday, in her mid 40's, showing off a tattoo that she had on her lower back - all this with 5 inches of fat sticking our of her three sizes too small shirt. (Wow, I just got a great idea for the Stormy Nights Contest). Anyway, thanks for publishing.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

JG, I'll be thinking about you, but folks have been dressing for warm weather down here for weeks!


BevsPaper profile image

BevsPaper 6 years ago from Central Indiana

Seriously, What Not To Wear gave me a good case of the giggles. Very funny stuff but unfortunately so very true.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Bev, glad you got some chucks!


gabbywazhere 6 years ago

thanks for telling me about this i liked how u demonstrated how people look at themselves or as others look at their selves by using pictures


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks for reading, Gabby!


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

Hi, habee. You think there's a mirror shortage in your neck of the woods? Come to Miami.

Have figured it all out. Most of the Daisy-Dukes-shorter-than-short wearing chubby gals are tourists. So the thinking must be - no one I know will see me so it's OK to dress like a cartoon.

Thanks for the funny, funny hub.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

That is TOO funny, drbj!


Muscle Shirt 6 years ago

I´m no big fan of a muscle shirt, even though I´m a Bodybuilder :) So that´s a no no to me!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Lol, Muscleshirt!


KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 6 years ago from Central Texas

Funny stuff, Habee....I regularly pop over to peopleofwalmart(dot)com to check out the awful things people are caught wearing at Wal-mart. We were at Wal-mart one night this week and my daughter saw a fairly young girl wearing a t-shirt that said "Love Sucks, True Love Swallows". Yikes!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Howdy, KCC! Gee, I think I'll have to get me one of those shirts! lol


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 6 years ago from I don't know half the time

heheh Humorous.... I love this Hub ,,,,,BUT I MUST ADMIT SOMETIMES.... THOSE JEANS SEEM TO SLIP OFF ME TOO...HAHA.

Basically am guilty of a a few above, perhaps I need to be more aware its not on purpose :))).... hehe love this hub :) YOU ROCK


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 6 years ago from I don't know half the time

:)


meharkarim@hotmai profile image

meharkarim@hotmai 6 years ago from karachi

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meharkarim@hotmai profile image

meharkarim@hotmai 6 years ago from karachi

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habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

So glad you enjoyed, Leptirela!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

mehark, glad it made you smile!


Jo 6 years ago

Super funny hub! Great read. I hate the thong outside pants.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Jo, thanks a lot for reading!


valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 6 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

habee, I'm with you on this one. I've had the displeasure of being in wal-mart with a friend and her daughter in the wee hours, and it is as you report. Also, as I've grown older, my game is to work out like crazy, look as good as possible, but still show as little as possible. Regardless of what shape you are in, it is actually tacky to show a lot of skin in public most of the time, even for the young. This dealt with a serious problem with humor, and I laughed all the way through it. My modem should be here today or tomorrow, so hopefully, I'll be able to read and respond to hubs when I'm not at work soon. Thanks for making me laugh, this one is a hoot. (: v


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Val, glad you enjoyed it and got some chucks!


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

Well Well WELL Thanks for speaking out this is so crazy and seriously the day the bums are covered again the better. Reminds me of the pants to the ground song. Peace :)


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Glad you enjoyed it, Katie!


SilverGenes 6 years ago

Funny hub! You know, I saw a pair of jeans the other day with the boxer tops sewn into them already! Insanity! Oh - just a little point that I feel needs mentioning before any man heads to the beach: if you are over the age of six, no speedos. No. Not ever. They are not sexy - just creepy. I feel better now. Please write more!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Oh, Silver, I agree - VERY creepy!


Michelle Day profile image

Michelle Day 6 years ago from CA

This is a Hub after my own heart. It was a little scary reading my own thoughts in someone else's writing but oh so satisfying. I love your style Habee, you seem to have truly found your calling. I look forward to reading more of what you have to say. Thanks for the excellent read!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Michelle, I'm so glad you liked it!


Rebecca E. profile image

Rebecca E. 6 years ago from Canada

this is another awesome hub, love it it is great and funny and really (sad to say) true. A hub writer after my own heart! keep up the great work.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks a heap, Rebecca!


animal-backpacks profile image

animal-backpacks 6 years ago from Brighton

fab article - very amusing and oh how so true!

At the same time, I guess that's what makes us all so unique and don't we all have one view of ourselves, yet everyone else has a different view - for good or for bad?


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Good point, Animal! Thanks for reading!


Fluffymetal profile image

Fluffymetal 6 years ago from Texas

Your hubs are great!


suny51 profile image

suny51 6 years ago

Please find me standing in your side of the corner.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Awww...thanks, Fluffy!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Funny, Suny! Thanks for reading!


mrs.Dunkley profile image

mrs.Dunkley 6 years ago

habee,i agree..

lots of different fashions these days..good fashion should be appropriate.and sexy fashion is not tarty fashion! specially for old wrinkly skins..lol

its far more sexier to leave it to someone's imagination rather than to show it...i enjoyed a good read and laughing at the pictures u posted.nice hub..thanks


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Mrs. D, I agree with you 100%!


Three-Legged Dog profile image

Three-Legged Dog 6 years ago from USA

LOL! "When your hip bones stick out farther than your boobs.." EWWWWWWWW! SO TRUE! Great hub!


sameerk profile image

sameerk 6 years ago from India

very nice hub habee


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Dog!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Sam, glad you liked it!


RoseGardenAdvice profile image

RoseGardenAdvice 6 years ago from San Francisco

LOL really funny take on what's not fashionable! Thanks :)


ahostagesituation profile image

ahostagesituation 6 years ago

Just to add to the praise, great hub! I can go up and down with my weight. I always say, "to thine own size be true." It's just not fair to the clothes or the designer.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Rose, glad you liked it!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Hostage, I love your saying!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY

Wow, you are funny. I laughed so many times out loud I was shocked.

I agree people really do not really see what we see when we watch them wearing sizes too small.

I may be a liberal, but I am a conservative when it comes to my dress wear. I was that way when I was thinner so many moons ago.

I enjoy your work. I will read more.

You are funny!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

NE, I'm so glad you got some giggles from my hub!


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan

Due to a comment a friend put oh her facebook yesterday, I was going to write a hub on this very subject, but I see you covered it quite well. I will share the comment:

Today I saw a women at the gas station..her appearance scared the hell out of me, she was wearing a pair of white daisy dukes(I could cover the couch in) and what I can only assume was once a white sports bra. (Assume because it is now a dull Grey) her flip flops had red and white balloons (something that was in fashion 3 or 4 years ago for children) on them her hair was in 2 side pony tails (she was 'rockin' the Buffy's) mind u she was at Least my age (in 40's) and had to weigh in at about 400 lbs... my question ( well one of them anyways) did this beast not own a mirror???

Yes, habee even here in the North the Mirror Nazi's have apparently visited, and run rampant with stealing mirrors.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Too funny, Susie! I'm glad it's not just here in the South!


Trixie.in.Dixie 6 years ago

As familiar as the scene is to me, I still had to laugh when I read this! I am a native of Atlanta and have lived here my whole life, and I still can't get over the things I see out in public. Ever since the PeopleofWalmart blog started, I have been hoping I can capture something or someone hilarious with my pocket camera when I'm shopping there myself. You can't beat the combination of shopping and entertainment you get, especially late at night. Fun stuff! Oh - and one other term I hear for the excessive frontal blubber is "front butt." Gotta love it.


burning bush profile image

burning bush 6 years ago

I absolutely love this hub. You have amazing powers of observation and yet the ability to restrain your laughter while face to face (I'm resisting the urge to say face to ass... couldn't resist) with a sight so hilarious. Well done. Really enjoyed.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Trixie and Bush, I'm so glad I gave you some giggles!


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OpinionDuck profile image

OpinionDuck 6 years ago

Can you explain how this hub is rated at one hundred.

Whenever I leave a hub and the comments and views have trailed off, my hub rating goes down. What kept yours up?

Thanks


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Duck, I guess it's because this hub gets so much traffic!


liswilliams profile image

liswilliams 6 years ago from South Africa

An awesome Friday afternoon read, habee. Fantastic success story on the homepage as well. High five to you all the way :).


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia Author

Lis, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!


NJ's Ponderings profile image

NJ's Ponderings 5 years ago from Hickville, NY

Absolutely love this article!!! Had me in stitches!!!


sameerk profile image

sameerk 5 years ago from India

very nice .......


j.amie profile image

j.amie 5 years ago from PA

Mirror-challenged, hah!!! Awesome. I find it more entertaining to go downtown on a Friday or Saturday night, park myself at a sidewalk table, and just watch instead of bellying up. Most of the gals look like they walked straight off the set of Jerry Springer. It's ridiculous. I think...how on earth did you look in the mirror before you left and think "damn, I look good" and head out confidently in electric blue spandex? really?

I'm with you 100%.


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

NJ, so glad you got some giggles!

Sameerk, thanks a heap!

J.amie, I love people watching, too!


nell79 profile image

nell79 5 years ago from United States

Oh, that's good! Hahaha! What's really bad about this kind of thing when you're at the store is when that old guy with the bare beer gut bends over to get something off the bottom shelf and you get a look at his wrinkly bum crack too! LOL


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Nell, then you get a "twofer"! lol


MiseryHinata profile image

MiseryHinata 5 years ago

This hub was hilarious and rung very true! I'm also in the south and know exactly what you're talking about. This hub had me smiling and laughing, thank you for putting this out there for all the oblivious people who might get to read it! Keep up the good work!


Einhorn Wisdom profile image

Einhorn Wisdom 5 years ago

I must say, the photos you included are quite an enhancement, and they validate your point. People need to cover up and learn some taste. Bravo on a job well done.


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks for reading, Hinata!

Daniel, glad you enjoyed it!

Einhorn, your kind words are appreciated!


FloBe profile image

FloBe 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

I very much agree with your apt description and protest! Most people think they can just let it all hang out and no one should care (or do they really think it enhances their appeal??) Got a few chuckles our of your visual descriptions :)


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Flo. Glad you got some chucks!


mistybella profile image

mistybella 5 years ago

wow do you like the show what not to wear or something???


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Misty, I've seen it only once or twice, but it was pretty good!


pisethz profile image

pisethz 5 years ago

This is the most entertainment hub I read haha. thanks


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

So glad you enjoyed it!


Malcolm_Cox profile image

Malcolm_Cox 5 years ago from Newcastle, England

hey this hub is great habee. I wrote a poem that you might like! Check it out!! A Man's Mid Life Crisis!


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Malcolm. I'll check it out now!


Shyla's Nana profile image

Shyla's Nana 5 years ago

OMG this is so funny. I could actually see the people as you were describing them. And then you posted pics and I laughed even more after I got over the shock of the thong pic on the beach. That takes some really high self-esteem to pull that look off. I will be back to read some more. Take care.


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Nana! I'm a nana, too. Beautiful little girl in your avatar!


Edoka Writes profile image

Edoka Writes 5 years ago

One of the best hubs I've read! Hilarious and clever- truthfully too...painfully truthful.


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks a bunch, Edoka!


wilderness profile image

wilderness 5 years ago from Boise, Idaho

A fun read, Habee, although I think I'll stay out of WallyWorld in the wee hours. Thanks for the chuckle.


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Glad you got some chucks, Wilderness!


kethyjewel profile image

kethyjewel 5 years ago from India

I often think that girls and lady do not wear shyfull dresses. Due to wearing this type of skintight and shyfull dresses in all over the world the ratio of rap cases are incrising widly. God bless them!


Windows 7 Key 5 years ago

Thanks for your post!


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Kethy, good point!

Windows, thanks for reading!


Hutchise profile image

Hutchise 5 years ago from Georgia

I really enjoyed reading this blog!


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

So glad you like it!


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Thanks for several good chuckles! I too have often wondered 'where have all the mirrors gone?'. However, you left out low-rider jeans, and that they should NEVER EVER be worn by any woman with more than a smidge of belly fat. But then I think the fatties buy them for the same reason guys like to wear under-the-beer-belly jeans - so they can remain in denial about the true size of their girth. My local Wally World, btw, at any time of day or night is an never-ending supply of what NOT to wear beyond your front door.


DavitosanX profile image

DavitosanX 5 years ago

Are you mad?! Teenage girls' coin slots are what makes the world go round!


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Jama, so glad you got some chucks!


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Davito, I can understand your logic! lol


Knightheart profile image

Knightheart 5 years ago from MIssouri, USA

It is amazing how people don't give one hoot about how they look in public. These people have to be blind or totally delusional. I have seen many people dressed or should I say sort of dressed as you have described. What I have seen mostly in my area are people wearing shorts or pants that are so baggy, that half of their butts are hanging out. Fruit of the Loom underwear is getting a lot of free advertising. Also, these people can hardly walk since the pants are so baggy that it bunches up at the knees or ankles. I wonder how these people hold jobs or even get jobs looking like slobs! A couple municipalities in our area have even passed ordinances against teens, the main culprits doing this, from wearing extremely baggy trousers.


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

The young guys wearing those baggy pants won't think it's "cool" when they're old men and HAVE to wear pants two sizes too big to hide their Depends. heehee


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago

Habee, Interesting, funny, informative & true hub! It is getting a bit scary... You see some of everything these days! Thank You for sharing, In HIS Love, Peace & Blessings!


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Knightheart, good for your towns!


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Lol, Jama. You made me laugh!

Deb, always great to see your smiling face!


howcurecancer profile image

howcurecancer 5 years ago

oh my God! So funny pics.


Electrical 5 years ago

thanks .i like your post.


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Thanks, Howto! The guy in the last pic obviously needs to share his southern food with the skinny woman!!


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia Author

Electrical, glad you enjoyed it!


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KathyH profile image

KathyH 5 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

This has to be one of the FUNNIEST things I've read in a long time! Voted up, VERY entertaining and hilarious!! Unfortunately, it doesn't just exist in the South, it's all OVER the place! Thanks for the GIGGLES!!


jenubouka 5 years ago

Okay well Yakima WA is the new south, it's a small town/city, but we need two walmarts.


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felicitylovespari profile image

felicitylovespari 5 years ago

Voted both up and funny habee. And I agree. But, I also give some people credit for not caring what anyone thinks I suppose. :)


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Leaderofmany profile image

Leaderofmany 4 years ago from Back Home in Indiana

I agree with you on this one. I have a son who refuses to pull up his pants. I holler at him all day to pull them up. WalMart in the middle of the night is great for people watching.


Angela Biggs profile image

Angela Biggs 4 years ago from United Kingdom

Oo, Habee. That was hillarious. I loved the term "slim-challenged". Though I am not one now, but I still prefer to cover my body parts to avoid it from falling off my clothes. I really appreciate the way you have expressed the bad clothing styles. I laughed really louder and this is one of the very few hubs that made me laugh. Great hub. Thats it or I will write another hub here in comments.


iamageniuster profile image

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