Why Hide When You're A Man Who Wears Women's Clothes?

I recently received the following comment on one of my articles, and I thought it raised a significant point, one that I've addressed before to be sure, but one that is worth addressing again.

Chris said,

Question: Why hide it? Let's keep pushing the frontier so that I can wear at work a visible lace cami just as freely as you can? I would love to embrace the sheer fabrics and layered look that the ladies in the office enjoy. Or, as one of the men who wears women's shoes, I would love to not have to 'camouflage' the fact with thick socks, and boldly wear sheer-toed stockings instead.
Your advice on HOW to hide it is good - no criticism. But let's also look for chances to change society so that we don't HAVE to hide it.
Thanks!



I agree with Chris, but unfortunately, from the experiences I've had writing for men who wear women's clothing over the years the reason why men 'can't' (they can if they want to, but it can be uncomfortable) wear women's clothing as freely as they would like to is because the population of men who wear women's clothing is divided, and it is divided quite unequally. For every man who truly wishes he could wear women's clothing in public, there appear to be several who would rather keep it a secret and enjoy the taboo.

The fact of the matter is, if wearing women's clothing becomes normal for men, then the very same men who now enjoy breaking the taboo will no longer be breaking the taboo. The joy will be gone.

The other fact of the matter is that if men wanted fashion equality, they would have it. If sufficient numbers of men just wore whatever they wanted (and there are men who do go out wearing whatever they want, including skirts and women's shoes, and more power to them,) then it would become a commonly accepted practice. The fact that it hasn't speaks more to the willingness of men to reclaim their fashion rights than it does to wider society.

You don't need a 'chance' to change society. You just go out and be who you are and let the chips fall where they may. If men who really want fashion equality did that, then society would be changed by the mere act of them existing in the public eye that way. As I mentioned earlier, some men are already doing this. Many men with an interest in fashion occasionally incorporate women's fashions into their attire, even fairly conservative and indeed, well known men like David Beckham, who often sports diamond earrings and eyeliner.

If men want it, they can have it. I always get howled down by a small group of the male cross dressing community who prefer to wallow in victim hood when I say this, but the simple fact of the matter is that women have the 'right' to wear 'men's' clothing because they just went out and wore it, and if men want to wear skirts, lace, high heels or whatever else, all they have to do is show that there is a demand, and it will invariably be met with supply, and indeed, inevitably, acceptance.

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Comments 13 comments

Chris_S profile image

Chris_S 6 years ago from Texas

Yes yes yes! This hub is absolutely right. Men must wear what they choose. If men start doing this in mass, the public perception will be swayed. Many men already have earrings and long hair and some have incorporated female clothing into their daily routine.

You must let the chips fall where they may! I wear womens clothing everyday as my usual routine. Yes, I get occasional stares and giggles but most people don't even notice or care or at least hide it very well. My typical daily fashion is a 3/4 sleeve empire waist tunic with cute gathers at the breasts, black wide-leg knit pants and black stiletto boots. I wear these kinds of clothes everyday without shame or embarrasment. Let the on-lookers look, have confidence and be yourself. I'm particularly proud of my shoe collection and show them with prode.

Come'on guys, get out there!


ILoveLingerie 6 years ago

While it may seem simple to just wear it, it's not that easy.

I can't wear women's clothing in public, because if the wrong people saw me doing that I surely wouldn't get a job in a respected corporation.

I need a job after studying.

In today's world the superiors even google for your name to spot party people and keep them out of their realm.

"You like to drink a bit too much every now and then? - Then you don't belong in our establishment, thank you, neeeeext!"

I don't think wearing girly clothes will work any better in this context.

People these days stick their noses where they don't belong. Even your private life is monitored :(


Hope Alexander profile image

Hope Alexander 6 years ago Author

I can totally understand what you're saying, 'ILoveLingerie'. It's easy for me to tell men to just go out there and do it when it's not something I have to deal with every day. All I can say is that there are indeed men who go out and wear whatever they want to. You'll see them commenting on these hubs occasionally. Plenty of men get away with skirts and women's shoes, even in the workplace.

I guess, in the long run, you just have to decide what is more important, getting a job in a company that will make you hide who you are, or being who you are and finding work that suits that. It's sometimes easier said than done, but it is definitely possible.


Nanciboy 6 years ago

The people who have problems with potential/current employers connecting their personal time behavior to their name are those who are foolish enough to post pictures like that on social networking sites under their own name. (Or have 'friends' who do.

I post this this and other sites (including pictures) but only use this nom de panties :). I am quite confident that this name can't be connected to my "other" life. Even my Gmail account for this name doesn't have my real name.

After you are employed you can try to stretch the envelope. I work at a fairly conservative company in the corporate headquarters and wear a suit and tie four days a week. Even on those days I'm wearing my stud earrings and polished nails (one of several colors Orly makes for French Manicures) and something feminine underneath. Fridays I wear women's pants and tops. Nothing too out there but in colors not often worn by men.

Bottom line is do your job well, have skills your employer needs and no one else has and you can express yourself.

Of course, it may help that I live and work in San Francisco :)


David H profile image

David H 6 years ago from England

In the summer, I openly wear skirts when it is hot enough.

I do this clearly as a man. Sometimes it gets too hot to wear pants all the time, so why should I not be comfortable?

What are people afraid of? A piece of cotton wrapped around your legs?!! lol


pauls_boat 6 years ago

i aggree that for most men it is not posible to go out wearing whatever they want to wear.

when i was in the rat race i had to dress as a man and only appear to wear "mens" clothes most of the time the clothes i wore were womans but in a mans style now i have no longer to work i wear whatever i like most of the time i do not try to appear as a woman but as a man in a skirt etc and it is seldom i get coments just about everone who knows me knows i like female clothing and are happy with it but when it comes time to travel i wear pants as in the airport TSA needs little prompting to stop you and then you end up late for flights if you ask why was it you that they stoped they tell you it was just random but why me every time i travel to get stoped and made to open my bagage and have it searched then asked if the panties are mine or someone elses, to reack to it will just make them keep you longer.

so as you say they only people stoping us men from wearing what we want is ourself is true but to go out and do it is anouther thing.


Dataman 6 years ago

Hey I wear what I want. Not a lot of Difference between the Women's Jeans I am wearing and Men's.


Mike 6 years ago

RE: ILoveLingerie --

If any man wishes to live in the gilded cage that is corporate employment, do so. But don't bitch about it, and don't complain that "society" and those stodgy codgers in the boardroom are keeping you from being you. It's your own damn fault.

There are a million ways a man can make a living without a boss breathing down his neck. I work in trades, and whether I'm employed or self-employed, no one tells me what I may or may not do with my own time. I won't even work for companies that do drug tests -- not because I do drugs -- I don't -- but on principle. If I wanted to smoke dope on weekends, that's my own damn business.

I have yet to lose a job, or a customer, over cross-dressing -- and I don't try real hard to hide it. :-P

Be your own boss, or be a slave... your choice.


martinus 6 years ago

It is not about getting no job or people might talking about a man wearig=ng a skirt or dress. It is the man and the men who are afraid to take advantage todo new things.

Last year I decided to wear skirts in public and at work. I went to our "Boss", told her what I want to do and got the answer: "It is okay with me, but one thing you must promise.. be CONFIDENT what you are doing and wearing, then it's fine, you'll see". I did it. She was right, and my job is really very public. Now the skirt is my daily garment, and not shorter than 3 inches above knee. High heels, no, because I would not be confident in it. Maybe I could learn it.

I like that I always get a lot of compliments, about the skirt, the stockings, the shirt with the skirt. One year ago I usually got one or two compliments when I had a new, very special tie.


David H profile image

David H 6 years ago from England

That's great Martinus.

Just one thing for me to say (which you have mentioned, but will say again to emphasise it).

It is still best to show decency. In other words, skirts should be knee-length or longer.

Some look down on anyone wearing a short mini as that does not create a good impression with customers.


Hope Alexander profile image

Hope Alexander 6 years ago Author

The most stupid, pointless thing you can do with your life is spend it caving to what you imagine everyone else 'thinks' (and I use the term 'thinks' loosely.) Why? Because you're probably wrong in the first place, and because what people think changes over time, but only when people have the courage and convictions to be themselves.


Maninadress 6 years ago

I first wore a skirt in public on a springlike day in February of 2008 and that changed everything for me. I did not know that clothes could be so comfortable and fun to wear. I realized just how bad pants are. I decided that skirts were going to become part of my life. I bought several skirts and women's tops and started wearing them everywhere I went. I enjoyed every minute of it, I got a lot of compliments. After doing that for a couple of months I decided to give dresses a try. I bought a dress and wore it in public. That was a very wonderful experience. The dress was very comfortable and a lot of fun to wear, I enjoyed it even more than the skirts. I bought several dresses and started wearing them regularly. I have loved every minute of it. As I have added more skirts, women's tops, and dresses to my collection I have gave away a lot of my pants and male shirts. I get a lot of stares and I get laughed at a lot when i go out in public, especially when I wear a dress, but I don't care. I don't waste one second of my time worrying about what other people thinks. I have never been happier since I have been wearing skirts and dresses and I'm going to keep doing it.


Doug 6 years ago

Hope, you are exactly right. Nothing will change unless we change it. My heartfelt thanks and respect goes out to all the men, women and others who have displayed the courage to change public perception.

We all make choices, and ILoveLingerie must decide if his fashion freedom is more important than getting a job in a “respected” corporation. There is no point whining about it, either do something about it, or accept things the way they are. However, in life our choices are usually not as black and white as we often make them out to be. There are big corporations with gender friendly policies. Also, many areas have non-discrimination laws which may protect you. I’m sure it’s a lot easier do after you’ve been hired and proven yourself on the job, though.

I hope ILoveLingerie finds a great job, rises quickly to a position of authority and influence, and paves the way for all of us towards fashion freedom in the corporate sector!

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