I would agree if others weren't intimidated merely by her presence.
It's a double edge sword, really. If a smart woman isn't intimidating then she's perceived as stupid because in all reality she does intimidate others but denies it to herself while others take advantage of the fact.
No Sometimes one can feel intimidated by incredibly intelligent people and it is sometimes up to the very intelligent person to *dumb it down* if they see that others are feeling insecure in the way they are expressing themselves.
The trouble with the expectation of smart women to "dumb it down" in order to make someone else feel more comfortable is, if she's smart enough to be convincing at it, she will essentially be driven into the closet; with nobody knowing the real her and, worse, those she's convinced treating her as if she's dumber than she really is.
On the other hand, if doesn't dumb it down she'll seem like someone who isn't smart enough in dealing with people to know to dumb it down.
It pretty much goes back to smart women not being able to win, one way or another (at least if they're dealing with insecure people (and this, in a time when pretty much most people think it would be horrible when some other groups are expected to remain "in the closet").
Smart women are more attractive to me than stupid ones.
An excerpt from Ernest Cline's standup about pornography for nerds:
"You can have the whole cheerleading squad, I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses: Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian. Oh yes. First I want to copy her Trig homework, and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her for hours and hours until she reluctantly asks if we can stop because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica. Summa cum laude, baby! That is what I call erotic."
Yes, that's gentlemanly of you. I appreciate the men who appreciate intelligent women. However, could you refrain categorizing women into smart and stupid because those adjectives are not politically correct.
It's just that it's too broad and the last part has a demeaning definition. If I met someone who said the most absurd thing, I wouldn't label then as stupid, I'd label them as logically challenged or having unique ideas. I know what you mean though.
Smart men often do like smart women. You know why, though? Because if they can feel smarter than a smart woman they feel really smart - and so many men are going to believe they'll always be smarter than even the smartest woman, just because they do.
(And now here's the obligatory, "but, of course, that's not ALL men - only some". )
Only to those who have low self confidence and low self esteem. Other than that, I find people appreciate those who are intelligently smart, but of course, they need a good personality to go with it.
I disagree that a person should "dumb it down" for someone else. That's presenting a false front; not the true you. The other person can easily ask questions to understand. Meeting half way is the best approach that way, all parties can grow.
There's a difference between "dumbing down" and "effective communication."
In my work as a tech writer, I'm constantly "dumbing down" highly technical, specialized content for a more general audience. Or am I just making that technical content more accessible to a broader audience?
You can do the same thing in conversation if you try. It's not condescending; it's an accommodation for folks who haven't specialized in whatever field you're talking about.
There is a difference betweeen "dumbing down" and "effective communication". Effective communication is a method of communicating that allows the listener to understand what is being conveyed by the speaker. Dumbing down is a not method of communication, but rather a way of acting to show that one is not as intelligent as one truly is. This is putting on a false face and is dishonest.
Effective communication does not require one to "dumb down". You do not present to your listeners that you are less intelligent than they are. You convey the information with words and structure that is appropriate to their level of understanding. For example, a doctor and pharmacist may discuss a drug by refering to it's Latin name. However, a doctor will speak to his patient by referring to it by it's over the counter name. That is not dumbing down. This is speaking in a language that the lister can understand. This is not condescending if it done with tact and senstivity. It is condescending if the doctor spoke to the patient with Latin terminology and expects the patient to understand.
If you present to your readers that you anything but intelligent in your field, you will not have anyone reading your techincal manuals. Quite the opposite -- the reader requires the writer to convey the concepts and information with words and illustrations that they can understand as he is looking for information from you.
Dumbing down equates to pretending to be something you are not.
Effective communication is a method of conveying concepts and ideas in such a way that the listener can absorb and process which results in an understanding.
I have to strongly agree with this. Dumbing down and using suitable language are definately different. Dumbing down is a slightly unpleasant use of the term for an inability to speak, dumb, which is also a common slang term for stupid, and infers the listener is somehow intellectually handicapped.
They can be, but a smart person, male or female, wont push their facts and act aggressive. A person thinks they are smarter than they really are - they are intimidating, because they can speak nonsense, and wont listen to reason, even if you are just humbly stating your opinion, to some it can be seen as a personal attack and they lash out and correct you. Once again, I state, this is male or female..
..and one thing that really doesn't work out well with those people is to EVER say something like, "I may be wrong, but.....". The minute you give them that, they're ready to go with thinking you ARE wrong; while they won't leave room for the possibility that they may be wrong too.
I can seem to get on better with smart women who know what they want out of life more than those who don't, but generally speaking I usually get on with anyone, because it takes allsorts to run this planet and meeting different people is more fun and life should be about meeting different people who each have something to offer.
Is there more context to this question? Who is intimidated by smart women? Smart women could be intimidating depending on who is squirming in their trousers in the presence of one, in which case it's not the smart woman who has the problem, it's the intimidated person having a reaction to the smart woman.
One has to learn to deal with people who are intimidated in a wise fashion. I once wrote a blog and a blogger who I never met in my life called me a loser out of the blue then started to compete with me about who had the better job in life. Then there were a couple more. In these times one has to have the strength of Jesus and Gandhi.
Not cloudy with a chance of sun. Do your best but don't bring the clouds.-That's my moto. Bring your A-game but don't insult anyway. Pave your roads but don't expect me to follow. I listen and follow who my soul chooses.
Jewels is right on- are smart women intimidating to whom? If we are referencing Are MEN intimidated by smart women, then my response is: it depends on the situation. Yes, some men are intimidated by smart women. But, women also can be intimidated by a smart guy. It is a matter of confidence. If a person is secure in knowing who they are (on either side of this equation) then someone's intelligence is NOT going to be intimidating. You just appreciate that person for that quality.
Personally, I love a smart, witty guy. And, I think those are qualities guys also appreciate (thanks Jeff for your comments). It isn't a freaking competition, for gosh sakes!
If it is...you're with the wrong person.
As for dumbing down-you've got to be kidding! Why would you want to. It's taken women forever to vote (b/c men did not think they were smart enough) why would you let your OWN self be intimidated by someone who you are trying to figure out if they are intimidated by you being who you are...That is way too much head game for me! And too much energy distracting one from LIFE.
I'm more sly about rights between men and women. I like to coax it out of men rather than force it out of them, and basically I'll ignore them and take my rights anyway. Either way is ok, just depends on your preference. Some guys liked to be forced, I'm just not the forceful kind. And I'm not the kind to silently except either. I confuse men, I must admit.
Smart women are very sexy. I find it very attractive. But as Jeff pointed out, talking over someone is not attractive at all. It is condescending. The purpose of communication is to connect, not disconnect. So part of being smart is knowing how to connect. Obviously we won't all connect to each other because of experience, interests, etc., but there will be plenty of people that we do gravitate to, and even going outside our comfort zone to connect with new people, new interests can be a fabulous experience.
Women are good at this. So are guys. Smart women know how to connect and make connecting a great experience. Dumbing down has nothing to do with it.
Well said Daniel. Totally agree with this. A smart person knows how not to intimidate anyone in a conversation. Intimidation is not smart - it's more in the ranks of 'smart arse". The word connect is key, making a connection is a smart move.
smart? what kind of smart? In such a diverse world women can have all kinds of knowledge, just like men. A woman may be very smart about some things and not about others, just like a man. There will be some things she won't know much about even if she is brilliant. So it all depends on her fields of knowledge and who she's hanging out with whether some man may feel intimidated by her intelligence. If you're talking about general intelligence and the ability to learn - then why would a man feel intimidated unless he is not intelligent? in which case it's his problem, not hers! The kind of man who is intimidated by others, female or male, probably could use some work on his own self-image.
Yes, smart women are intimidating. I'm not talking about an educated woman. An educated woman is expected to know something, but she is also expected to understand whatever it is she's educated in. An intelligent woman, on the other hand, finds herself in power struggles repeatedly because society doesn't understand how she can possibly understand anything when she hasn't received the education.
A highly intelligent child finds themselves struggling to understand and be understood by their peers yet communicates easily with older adults who are full of life experience or college students/grads who have learned to think things through analytically and apply critical thinking skills.
As for dumbing down - it's a sad fact, but very true in necessity. An intelligent person learns to rephrase questions in order to not offend anyone. In order to communicate with others the intelligent person has to learn to hold their tongue, slow down their thinking speed, keep certain opinions to themselves, and lower certain standards.
The trick is learning these things at the appropriate time/age yet having equal opportunity to be their natural selves.
well, let's meet and I can share with you what wish I have right now, my way. Later I'll tell you what you did wrong and critique you politely, show you how to properly perform in any work enviornment, review with what clearly what I only have to compare to, then pay you accordingly. Pending this situation I will determine if you can continue to work for me or ask you to close door behind as you as you will be fired. Thank you either way for your HARD efforts
I AM NOT AFRAID TO MAKE A STAND. SO TAKE MY HAND, AND WALK WITH ME. WE'LL WALK THIS WORLD TOGETHER.
On a serious note, my answer is NO only intimidated by those who work for them most times. Which I feel is the worst way to work with your employees. You get much more productivity from people that respect you.
Again, if people treated each of us as we treated them yesterday then.......................um
What is the purpose of dumbing down? I'm just not getting it. Or, perhaps it is a matter of understanding. For me, 'dumbing down' means that you 'hide your light under a basket'. You keep hidden who you really are (how smart you are) b/c well...people might be intimidated by how intelligent you are based on your gender. This is exactly what girls were taught to do in the 50's and 60's-squelching their 'smarts' because the boys weren't comfortable with that. It was a societal norm back then-it shouldn't be today!
If it is about communication, then this goes for ANYONE, not just females. I don't consider 'adjusting' one's choice of words to promote understanding 'dumbing down'.
Puzzled here--I must be as naive as my late husband used to tell me I was, LOL You mean by dumbing down the person is manipulating other people into thinking that they are not that smart...and that is a way of controlling the other person? Wow, how sad is that! I just don't have time for those kind of games. What a waste of energy and being in the moment. Thanks for the 'explanation'.
Hey Denise, laughing at yourself is key to your individual happiness, because it also allows you to absorb some of the negative energy that people display or project toward you when they laugh at you. Thus, it is easier to handle. It's a good thing.
I suppose if someone's manipulative they'll use whatever tricks they have up their sleeve to accomplish what they want, but I think dumbing down is most often done when someone (particularly some women) knows they're dealing with someone else who will be offended, insecure, hostile, or otherwise react poorly to someone who "have the nerve" to be so sure of herself, secure, and straightforward. It's not a manipulative thing or a "game" thing. It's a defense thing.
(This whole thread gives me an idea for a Hub, at a time when I'm pretty short on ideas - so thanks. )
When one is smart and full of themselves or deceitful then it's understandable how people might be turned off. I have friends who are lawyers, doctors, writers, nurses, and to tell you the truth I love their company. I love exploring concepts such science and abstract ideas. Perhaps it's because, though beautiful on the outside, I've always been ahead of my time, always doing things before others. However, there have been a doctor or two who might have rubbed me the wrong way and after that I just aced them out cold...I'm like that with anyone impolite. People often automatically assume that someone beautiful is not intelligent but some of us are just lucky. Whatever I do I do exceptionally well so I find I am forced to dumb things down for the concern of those with insecurities.
Smart women are no more or less intimidating than smart men. These days, however, intelligence itself seems to be out of vogue, at least in some quarters. But this is a fashion and beauty forum, so I will resist the temptation to "go there" with my thoughts on the anti-intellectual, lipstick-on-a-pig crowd.
I like men who are themselves. Those that don't believe in competition which is basically unsubstantial fluff. That's the stuff of low vibrations, which is basically darkness and evil. Doesn't make any sense either because people are suppose to be basically working towards a goal. How is there time for competition? Live and let live.
People who don't know anything about you yet assume a great deal takes great patience. Plain Jane isn't always the most intelligent person. Intelligence cannot be judge based on looks alone yet people esteem looks more than they should. It's like they're creating a "you're pretty so you're stupid box." Doesn't work that way. No boxes work and are basically silly because reality exists outside the box.
I think allot of women are not given credit for their ideas, or even their intuition. Has this been your experience?...that many men, treat women as if they have no voice, and when they do speak, some don't even hear what they have to say. Allot of times men discredit women's words, because they are focused on the next sentence they are going to say. Do you find this to be true at times, anyway?
I love women who express their intelligence with grace. For example: My grandmother closed her front door...tightly... on a salesman's foot. While he was hopping around in the yard....she explained in detail....the definition of her, "NO SOLICITORS" sign and the community code of law that banned residential and commercial solicitations. She then...very politely told him that he should get some ice for that sore foot.
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