I've been making some research lately as well. According to webmd.com, 90% of cosmetic products aren't tested for safety. I guess it's up to us consumers to keep our eyes open for products with hazardous chemicals.
I would go for just a lip gloss and limit usage of lipstick. Even high-end brands may have ingredients that are unhealthy to ingest. For soft lips I'd suggest using a gentle sugar scrub, and applying a simple beeswax lip balm to keep them moisturized. Always read the ingredients of your cosmetics items!!