Are You a Facebook Friend Hoarder? Is It Time to Delete Some Friends?
Are you a friend hoarder on Facebook? Are you friends with people you've never even met that don't contribute to your page at all? Are there folks on your friend list you haven't seen since 1972 and you have no intention of ever corresponding with them? Is your activity feed filled with boring, lame updates from people you don't even remember friending on Facebook? If so, my friend, you are a Facebook friend hoarder!
Yes, I know, you'd like to think you are just extremely popular with your 2,193 friends, but in truth, about 80% of those people don't even check your page ever. When was the last time Aunt Bertha's best friend from Vermont liked a photo you put on Facebook? Have you even heard from Susan from your 4th grade art class even once or did you just check out her page 3 years ago to see if she finally corrected that overbite issue? Can you even remember the names of at least 50 people on your friend list?
Let's face it, you might just have a Facebook friend hoarding issue. Some people collect physical items, but other people collect friends on Facebook. Don't worry, this is something you can easily fix. The "unfriend" option is available on Facebook for a reason. I want to help you "declutter" your friend list right now!
Admit You Have a Problem
As with any issue, admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. You might feel popular on Facebook, but honestly, do you really need a large group of people knowing your every move online? Probably not!
Furthermore, there are people that constantly post useless updates, like every photo and comment on the planet, and just basically clog your feed. If you have only 10 people like that on your friend list, you are probably missing updates from people you actual know because the "constant updaters" are taking up so much space. Imagine how much better you'll feel when you start to weed out people.
Weed People Out
Now that you've come to accept you have a Facebook friend hoarding issue, it is time to unfriend some people. Yes, I know this can be a difficult task. However, I've seen the show Hoarders quite a bit, I am going to apply some techniques I've learned from that show to help you. After all, the two situations are pretty much the same, right?
The first thing we need to do is inspect the entire house looking for obvious items to throw out. Well, OK, this isn't like the show Hoarders at all. Let's start again.
We need to first look at your friend list on Facebook. Do you know these people? As you go through friends on your list, ask yourself, "Have I ever met this person before in my life?" If the answer is no, then delete that person. Oh, this is so fun and exhilarating, isn't it? Just keep unfriending folks until you've gotten rid of every person you've never before, unless you are friends with an actual celebrity or two. You can keep them because they might be cool.
Next, go through your friend list and start to defriend some people that you knew in the past or briefly met before, but are not contributing to your profile. If you haven't seen your best friend from 3rd grade in 20 years, yet you enjoy exchanging photos and stories with her, she is an obvious keeper. I am talking about unclogging your feed and getting rid of people you barely interact with at all.
Finally, it is time to ditch the drama queens. Here is an apparently unknown fact to Facebook friend hoarders: you can unfriend someone on Facebook, yet still remain actual friends in real life. Yeah, I know... crazy! If someone is dragging you down with constant melodramatic updates or trying to start a fight with you on Facebook, you can simply unfriend that person. It is as easy as that. If that person takes offense to it, oh well. Chances are, you probably didn't need her anyway.
If You Can't Learn to Let Go
OK, so I know you are still traumatized because you never won the Student Council President position in 11th grade or you weren't voted Most Likely to Succeed for the Senior High Yearbook, but it is time to let go of all that. You do not need a crazy amount of friends on Facebook to feel good about yourself. You are awesome and your real friends know it!
With that said, if you are still having some issues letting go of all your random Facebook friends (and you know who you are!), there is still some relief from the constant stream of random stuff from random friends. You can click on the "friends" button on any friend's page and scroll down to settings. It will give you the option of only choosing to see certain types of updates from that person. So if you have someone that posts lame, boring photos all day long, yet you can't find it in your heart to unfriend her, you have that option.
I hope all of this has been helpful for you and you are well on your way to facing your Facebook friend hoarding problem. Don't worry, we all have issues of some type in life. Your obsession just happens to be way less devastating than what most people have to deal with in life, so lucky you! Now, don't pick up some new gambling or drinking habit just to fill the void. Trust me, hoarding friends on Facebook is still way better.
Copyright ©2012 Jeannieinabottle
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