Are You a Facebook Friend Hoarder? Is It Time to Delete Some Friends?

Hoarding People

Are you a friend hoarder on Facebook? Are you friends with people you've never even met that don't contribute to your page at all? Are there folks on your friend list you haven't seen since 1972 and you have no intention of ever corresponding with them? Is your activity feed filled with boring, lame updates from people you don't even remember friending on Facebook? If so, my friend, you are a Facebook friend hoarder!

Yes, I know, you'd like to think you are just extremely popular with your 2,193 friends, but in truth, about 80% of those people don't even check your page ever. When was the last time Aunt Bertha's best friend from Vermont liked a photo you put on Facebook? Have you even heard from Susan from your 4th grade art class even once or did you just check out her page 3 years ago to see if she finally corrected that overbite issue? Can you even remember the names of at least 50 people on your friend list?

Let's face it, you might just have a Facebook friend hoarding issue. Some people collect physical items, but other people collect friends on Facebook. Don't worry, this is something you can easily fix. The "unfriend" option is available on Facebook for a reason. I want to help you "declutter" your friend list right now!

Admit You Have a Problem

As with any issue, admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. You might feel popular on Facebook, but honestly, do you really need a large group of people knowing your every move online? Probably not!

Furthermore, there are people that constantly post useless updates, like every photo and comment on the planet, and just basically clog your feed. If you have only 10 people like that on your friend list, you are probably missing updates from people you actual know because the "constant updaters" are taking up so much space. Imagine how much better you'll feel when you start to weed out people.

A typically Facebook feed...
A typically Facebook feed... | Source

Weed People Out

Now that you've come to accept you have a Facebook friend hoarding issue, it is time to unfriend some people. Yes, I know this can be a difficult task. However, I've seen the show Hoarders quite a bit, I am going to apply some techniques I've learned from that show to help you. After all, the two situations are pretty much the same, right?

The first thing we need to do is inspect the entire house looking for obvious items to throw out. Well, OK, this isn't like the show Hoarders at all. Let's start again.

We need to first look at your friend list on Facebook. Do you know these people? As you go through friends on your list, ask yourself, "Have I ever met this person before in my life?" If the answer is no, then delete that person. Oh, this is so fun and exhilarating, isn't it? Just keep unfriending folks until you've gotten rid of every person you've never before, unless you are friends with an actual celebrity or two. You can keep them because they might be cool.

Next, go through your friend list and start to defriend some people that you knew in the past or briefly met before, but are not contributing to your profile. If you haven't seen your best friend from 3rd grade in 20 years, yet you enjoy exchanging photos and stories with her, she is an obvious keeper. I am talking about unclogging your feed and getting rid of people you barely interact with at all.

Finally, it is time to ditch the drama queens. Here is an apparently unknown fact to Facebook friend hoarders: you can unfriend someone on Facebook, yet still remain actual friends in real life. Yeah, I know... crazy! If someone is dragging you down with constant melodramatic updates or trying to start a fight with you on Facebook, you can simply unfriend that person. It is as easy as that. If that person takes offense to it, oh well. Chances are, you probably didn't need her anyway.

If You Can't Learn to Let Go

OK, so I know you are still traumatized because you never won the Student Council President position in 11th grade or you weren't voted Most Likely to Succeed for the Senior High Yearbook, but it is time to let go of all that. You do not need a crazy amount of friends on Facebook to feel good about yourself. You are awesome and your real friends know it!

With that said, if you are still having some issues letting go of all your random Facebook friends (and you know who you are!), there is still some relief from the constant stream of random stuff from random friends. You can click on the "friends" button on any friend's page and scroll down to settings. It will give you the option of only choosing to see certain types of updates from that person. So if you have someone that posts lame, boring photos all day long, yet you can't find it in your heart to unfriend her, you have that option.

I hope all of this has been helpful for you and you are well on your way to facing your Facebook friend hoarding problem. Don't worry, we all have issues of some type in life. Your obsession just happens to be way less devastating than what most people have to deal with in life, so lucky you! Now, don't pick up some new gambling or drinking habit just to fill the void. Trust me, hoarding friends on Facebook is still way better.

Copyright ©2012 Jeannieinabottle

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Comments 42 comments

TimFellow profile image

TimFellow 4 years ago from The Universe

I only have like 81 friends, total loser. :)

Tawna profile image

Tawna 4 years ago from Dayton, Ohio

I do have a ton of friends as I use it pretty much for marketing only...I don't like it as a connection for family and friends as it gets too much.

Seems everyone says to me "oh I posted that on FB didn't you see it?" Me..."NO, I hardly check peoples pages if ever."

So I get irritated that everyone thinks that sharing a photo is all done on FB now. I will ask them to send me a photo of something we did together and they will say "Oh I will tag you on FB." NO...I want the actual photo so I can print it duh. Printing from FB sucks and it is less resolution...grrr social media. I even know people that own't answer their phone or the door but they will answer your messages on facebook or texts...really? I think that FB has become a social escape and it is sad.

You just gave me an idea for a new hub...I will link to yours in mine. Thanks for the good read!

Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

Yeah, I agree with Tawna Facebook is a social escape more than an actual way to connect to others. And I think it's okay sometimes to take stock and see who are friends are. I think that is helpful in terms of just having a healthy sense of self. I think your hub is definitely well needed advice, besides nobody wants to be on the social network version of hoarders :). Great job!

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Jeannie.....Great as always, oh FUNNY lady......I am not a choice..... and know without a doubt I made a sane and rational decision to stay CLEAR of this fad (or nonsense)...whatever it REALLY is. I have difficulty understanding the huge attraction to such mass-communication/connection.....on a social/personal level.?? Business? OK, I guess.

I have spent at least 50% of my adult life......"losing" toxic people, avoiding crowds & over-exposure, maintaining some sense of PRIVACY, minding my own damned business, staying focused on positive progress and enjoying the simple pleasures of life..........I need to ask........WHY WOULD ANYONE GO IN SEARCH OF AND SUBJECT THEMSELVES TO THE STARK OPPOSITE OF THESE WONDERFUL LITTLE THINGS?!!!

My precious family and close circle of friends is MORE than enough to keep me happy and grounded!! Good hub, Jeannie..UP+++

Mellonyy profile image

Mellonyy 4 years ago

Facebook is a social mania and sooner, or later will go in the past. Thanks for sharing this interesting hub!

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devjeet 4 years ago

I have 123 facebook friends and I'm happy with those....I use to add only those person who belong to my life in either way.

tjdavis profile image

tjdavis 4 years ago from Moscow, Texas

Ok Ok I have 635 I'm not a hoarder (wink) :-)

Great hub and thanks for pointing out my

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Tim, I think you are doing just fine. For my personal account, I have only 101 friends... and I am about to dump a couple of those. I wouldn't even have that many if it weren't for having so many cousins.

Tawna, you are right. Facebook has become more of an escape than a way to connect to people. I agree... sometimes I want a photo just emailed or given to me. I still like those print photos sometimes! I am happy I could help inspire a new hub. :-) Let me know when you post it so I can read it. Thanks!

Alecia, every now and then, I look around and clear some people off Facebook. This is especially the case if I barely know someone and that person posts messages all day long that clutter my feed. Shesh! Sometimes I just want to know how my friends and family are doing. I don't need a minute by minute update on some random dude's trip to Starbucks. Thanks for the comment!

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

fpherj48 - You are so right about losing toxic people. Some people just bring me down. It is OK to vent sometimes, even on Facebook, but if every single status update sounds like a cry for help, it is a problem. Sometimes I approach people who sound like they need some help, yet they are just fine and only whining online. What is up with that? Thanks for the comment and the votes up!

Mellonyy - Thanks so much for your comment. You are right... remember with AOL's Instant Messenger was all the rage? When is the last time you heard anyone talk about AIM now? Facebook will fade just like that did soon enough.

devjeet - It sounds like we have a very similar view for Facebook. Thanks for checking out my hub!

tjdavis - Hahaha... hey, 635 is still better than being over a 1,000. But hey, if you think it is an addiction, I don't want to stop you. Admitting you have a problem is a good thing. ;-) Thanks for the comment!

Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

Glimmer Twin Fan 4 years ago

Funny and useful! I don't have too many, but when I get a post from someone who is an old high school friend of my husbands, with a picture of their breakfast/lunch/dinner everyday, it's time to hide or unfriend them. I've also been amazed at how many high school folks who never had the time of day for me then want to be my facebook friend now. Thanks for a good read. Shared.

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ignugent17 4 years ago

Very interesting and useful. :-)

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Glimmer Twin Fan - I know what you mean. It is great being able to hide updates from certain people now. I have a couple of friends that share about 50 funny photos or quotes a day. No thank you! I am also amused by the old school "friends" that never acknowledged you in school, but want to be friends on Facebook. No thanks to them, too! Thanks for sharing my hub!

Ignugent17 - Thanks so much! I am glad you liked it.

TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

LOL! Great job, Jeannie! I went through the whole 1000= 'friends' phase when I was playing a gazillion games. I have since been sent to rehab and have been cured of my gaming habit. I now have a hubpages habit and a good 100+ 'friends' are fellow hubbers. The other nearly 100 are friends and colleagues that I have 'collected' since the beginning of time. I personally think they are following me on FaceBook, waiting for my status update to inform them that I have finally turned that final corner to insanity and won't be back for awhile.

Shared on twitter, Chime and my paper as well as Voted up and more. :)

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I am so happy you are a recovering Facebook friend hoarder. It is success stories like yours that will inspire other people to follow your path. :-) My new addiction is also HubPages. Thanks so much for sharing my hub and for the votes! I really appreciate it.

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KDuBarry03 4 years ago

LOL! I have about 720 friends on facebook (had one for the past 5 years) and met some awesome people! I know this one kid who has over 4500 friends on facebook...and it's not a pretty sight LOL

Btw, I'm sharing this on facebook :P Great job, Jeannie!

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Hey, did I mention it is OK to have hundreds of friends as long as you are sharing my hubs with them? ;-) Hehehe. Thanks so much for sharing this and thanks for the comment.

TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

My pleasure, Jeannie! :) Gotta support our therapist! :)

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KDuBarry03 4 years ago

LOL! That's fine by me! :)

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Haha... thank you both. :-)

ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada


I went in thinking I didn't have a problem (only 156 friends) but it is true...I'm not sure I've known 156 people in my entire life. And how did I become friends with that lady from Peru who only writes in Peruvian? I don't actually speak Peruvian. I'm cutting that Peruvian umbilical cord! 155...

Thanks for keeping me real!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Hi Thomas,

I am so happy I could help you today. Yes, sometimes we must defriend that person we've never met in Peru. It can be tough since it seems so exotic to have friends from faraway places, but yes, the "unfriend" button is there for a reason. :-)

Thanks for the comment!

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devjeet 4 years ago

Today I read an article about facebook friend.....they had written the methods to identify fake FB profiles...:p

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Hmmm... I don't know that I have any fake Facebook profiles on my friend list, but that is probably important for someone that friends anyone that comes along. Thanks for the comment!

TimFellow profile image

TimFellow 4 years ago from The Universe

Jeannie, you're the nicest, kindest, most beautiful person in the entire world. Did I mention beautiful? I don't know what you look like, but I think I can say with confidence that you are all those things.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Ummm... Thanks, Tim. Are you trying to be friends on Facebook or something?

TimFellow profile image

TimFellow 4 years ago from The Universe

Ya, wanna be friends?

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Sure, we can be Facebook friends. :-)

Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Many of my facebook friends are from hubpages, which means I have never met most of my facebook friends. Even though I don't know them I enjoy communicating on the virtual world. However, I admit some of these facebook friends never communicate and clutter my feed.

Thanks for the heed way

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I know what you mean. I have a Facebook page specific to HubPages followers and friends, and I've never met anyone on that friend list. It would be cool to meet some folks though. :-)

Thanks for the comment!

crissytsu profile image

crissytsu 4 years ago from Texas

Guilty! I added random people to play games with and now that I don't play games anymore I'm wanting to get rid of about 600 friends I don't know. It takes a lot longer to delete them than it did to add them though!

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

You are so right! Deleting friends does take longer than adding them. Just take it one step at a time! :-) Thanks for the comment!

midget38 profile image

midget38 4 years ago from Singapore

I'm quite happy that the friends I have on Facebook are now mostly fellow writers!! So no problem deleting there. Thanks for the useful share! Shared and tweeted!

Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

I have heard people complaining about being removed as a friend from people's Facebook page and be up in arms about it but then they've said something like "I didn't like her anyway" and I think - so what are you whinging about it for? Facebook should be treated as something that allows people far away to keep in touch and as a 'bit of fun'. I post daft photos and hubs but not much else. If I want to get in touch with friends, I call them :o)

rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

Very interesting and a useful reminder to get rid of the clutter. Most of them are from hubpages but a minor percentage of them interact by way of reading hubs or on FB. I need to slim that list down now. Thanks jeannie.

Voted up & useful.

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks for the comments, everyone! I really appreciate it.

midget38 - Thank you for sharing my hub. Yes, I agree... no need to delete anyone on your list.

Jools99 - You are right. I periodically remove people I don't talk to at all anyway. I can't imagine why people get upset about that, but I guess people have the free time to care. I agree - calling is best!

rajan jolly - Thanks for the vote up! It helps to slim the list down when needed. I am glad you found this helpful.

DDE profile image

DDE 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

You have just reminded me to get rid of my clutter on FBK thanks

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Glad I could help! Thank you for your comment.

Ciel Clark profile image

Ciel Clark 4 years ago from USA

What I like about FB is that you can find a friend even if you don't remember the email. (Women : keep your original names in your FB name when you marry!)

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

That is true. I communicate a lot on Facebook rather than email, too. I get frustrated when people don't check Facebook as much as they check their email. Both are important! Thanks for your comment!

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lovedoctor926 3 years ago

Great hub! Well, I mainly use my facebook to share my hubs. there are many hubbers on my page that I have never met in real life, but some of them are really cool and we communicate on chat every so often. I can't say that I am a hoarder, but I know what you mean. If they're not contributing anything, just hit delete. simple as that. thanks for sharing.

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Brenda Durham 3 years ago

Such harsh advice!

lol I'm kidding.

Good hub. Dunno if I have the willpower or not...........but yeah my friends list could use some weeding out.....

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

lovedoctor926 - Honestly, I do have quite a bit of friends on my "HubPages Facebook" page. It makes sense when promoting hubs. I just happen to have 3 different accounts. Hehe. Maybe I am a profile hoarder!

Brenda Durham - I know, I can be a little harsh. I just like to weed people out every now and then. Hehe.

Thank you both for your comments!

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