Cyber-friends are People Too

Public Domain Image
Public Domain Image

I must start by saying that this is not a Hub about the social networking site called Cyberfriends.com. It isn't about outer space or aliens. So, if that is what you came here looking for, sorry to disappoint you. However, I would like for you to stay for a while. Sit down, relax, enjoy the Hub... please and thank you. :)

Courtesy of Google Images
Courtesy of Google Images

Becoming Part of a Community

How many of you have been told in the past by your parents or guardians not to talk to strangers? I know I have. Of course, that was back when I was a little girl so now I've thrown that lesson out of the window. With my new hobby in social networking, I've blatantly opposed that childhood lesson.

With Facebook, I only 'befriend' people I know in person - although I did stretch my limitations a bit just recently - but that's a different story.

If you are a part of the HubPages community, chances are, you will become 'personally' involved with another member, if you haven't already. That doesn't mean that you'll begin cyber dating or anything like that but you will probably form some sort of relationship. When I joined HubPages, I wasn't aware of the friends I would 'meet.' Now, you're probably thinking: friend is a strong word for people you can't talk to in person, but allow me to explain.

Definitions of Friend

  1. A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard
  2. A person who gives assistance, patron; a supporter
  3. A person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
  4. A member of the same nation, party, etc...
-definitions taken from Dictionary.com

Proof of Friendship

If you will direct your attention to the blue box to your right - as you read this section - I will explain my reasoning. I've come to the conclusion that you can make friends online because 1) frieship involves personal regard. Person regard involves respect - the role we play here on HubPages in commenting on other's Hubs and the appreciation we sometimes have to show in order to encourage someone else's writings. However, that doesn't automatically make you a friend.

So... 2) We've all probably given some level of support - just by reading other Hubs - here on HubPages.

3) Those of us who continue to comment - nicely - on each others' Hubs and/or speak to others via email, you must be on good terms. Unless you're a masochist, unless you like to be hurt, then why continue speaking with someone who you are not on good terms with?

4) This fourth definition applies to ALL of us no matter which blog site we belong to or how close we are to others. As long as you are part of a blogging community, especially one such as HubPages, you're a friend to the network - loosely speaking of course.

Courtesy of Google Images
Courtesy of Google Images

Let's Be Realistic

I can imagine at this time there may still be some skepticism about forming good relationships online. So, let me try to help things along a bit. First of all, when I use the term Hubs they can most likely apply to all sorts of blogs. Similarly, when I use the term HubPages, it can apply to other social networking sites. Just expand your imagination.

I am aware of what a 'true friend' is. I have 'real' friends of my own. I'm not a hermit, I do not live in solitude and no, I have not locked myself away from humanity. I go to church 3 days a week - once for dance rehearsal, once for Bible study and then Sunday (sometimes 2 services) for church service. I fellowship and I mingle.

I attend college where there's no escaping being social and I have managed to meet a few friends. So, I'm not an internet fanatic with no live people to call friends.I know what friends are. I know what it's like to get close enough to someone to call them sister and I've recently learnt that the same can happen via the internet. Am I causing a controversy yet? I hope not.

Now, let's be real. There are MANY limitations with making friends online. The number one doubt being: how do I know that person really is who he/she claims to be?  At times, that really frightens me and other times, it doesn't concern me in the least. That's the number one doubt and possibly the only doubt. From that one doubt, many others can spawn.

There is a lot of technology out there than can enable anyone to pose as someone else. People can always post a fake photo, make up a sad story about themselves, falsify contact information and personal information, etc... There's always that issue.

How can you be so sure that you're not chatting with a serial killer in Amsterdam? Well, you can't. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Courtesy of Google Images
Courtesy of Google Images

Facebook Buddies

Knowing this major doubt, I remained obstinate and dove into a few relationships here on HubPages. Beginning with my mentor, who reached out to me initially, I made my first cyber-friend. He taught me all the basics of HubPages, enabling me to learn more on my own. You can say he gave me my wings and pushed me out of the tree. If I were to fall, he would have probably caught me.

Two others... oh wait, three others, I have added on Facebook. BUT - don't judge me yet - it was after chatting with them for a while and coming to some sort of... not agreement. I cannot quite think of the right word but I added three people as friends on Facebook for convenience. One person suggested we chat on Facebook, which was a lot of fun by the way.

Then there was someone else who I just invited to become my Facebook friend on a whim. The other person I felt was necessary since we were planning to work together on a writing project - and the fact that she's awesome! So, you see, I had a good enough reason. Yes? Oh wonderful! Thank you for agreeing with me.

Courtesy of Google Images
Courtesy of Google Images

Friendship Affirmations

There's someone here on HubPages who I began speaking to via email because I felt compelled to email her and let her know just how I felt about a comment she left me. I was so encouraged by one of her comments, along with others, that I just had to tell her personally. Following that email were many others, based on things that we had in common or on things she had a similar experience to/with.

This person has so many great life lessons and such great humour that she's just great, period! I really like talking to her because I always get a new insight and a good laugh.

Another person, I somehow immediately connected to. It was the strangest thing that I will try my best to describe. This person reached out to me, a request for assistance with something. She told me something about herself that had me worried right away and it automatically registered in my mind, crossing several lists such as people to pray for and people I care about.

I never once thought of her as being a fake or anything like that. I immediately thought: this is a person who needs someone to care about her. There was no further thinking. For a week straight, this person and I chatted about various things. She sent me a picture of herself just so I can see the person behind the words and I replicated the action! Yeah! I can't believe MYSELF. I just did it. I may have thought about it for a little while but it was, a LITTLE while. So of my picture went through cyberspace to the other side of the world.

We continued talking that week, often several times a day! She seemed like such a kind-hearted and open person. Not hiding too much - but of course I didn't know what she could be hiding.

Now, 8 weeks or so later, from a virtual perspective, we have a sort of sisterly relationship. I cannot explain how that happened but I plan to one day meet this person, as I hope to meet other friends I've met here.

Would you believe that there are at least 2 people who I have made up in my mind that I WILL meet sometime? Yes! Believe it or not, I plan to. I've actually warned them of that and they welcome me. Unfortunately, one person lives halfway across the world so that's a bit sad but... something will work out.

A few selected Hubber profile pictures that I chose to feature
A few selected Hubber profile pictures that I chose to feature

More Social Networking, Less Socializing

With the new trend in social networking, people are losing touch with reality. People rather text now than make a phone call, or tweet rather than send an email - which is more personal. Things are becoming more public, more lenient, less cautious, less protected. People are becoming more open but at the same time more withdrawn.

Soon, people will lose the ability to communicate face to face. Already, people have integrated instant messaging terms such as BRB (be right back), JK (just kidding) and OMG (Oh my god/gosh) into daily speech. Is this a problem? Possibly.

Because of this trend and other factors, many people who are avid social networkers are dehumanizing people. Everyone, especially those only known online, are seen as just... well, avatars really. They aren't seen as 'real' people. Just a username. Just something that writes this and that.

Bloggers comment on other blogger's writings but only to an extent. There is limited interest or concern (depending on the writing content - at least of personal experiences) to the PERSON behind the words. For those who go on and continue to check up on those PEOPLE behind the words and behind the computer and the internet, they get to know the real person and therefore form real relationships.

If someone mentions in real life that they are facing a terrible life ordeal, then the decent thing to do will be to either make it your duty to check up on that person and offer some level of comfort or arrange for that to be done.

I look at Hubbers the same way. Perhaps I am just the kind of person who loves to help others, or who is overly compassionate and empathetic but I think it's just the right thing to do, especially in tight communities such as HubPages.

A lot of times, people comment a lot when they first 'discover' you, then they fall off the face of the earth and you never hear from them again. Others, you can comment on their writings until your face turns blue and they will never returns the favour. That's just how some people are and I guess we have to accept that cyber-friends are people too.

Thanks for reading!

www.123orkut.com
www.123orkut.com

A Video dedicated to one of my friends - and a great song to lift your spirits, (right, sestra?)!

More by this Author


Talk to Me! :) Thoughts, opinions, comments? 52 comments

ACSutliff profile image

ACSutliff 6 years ago

This hub is very sweet! I enjoy your take on befriending people online, and I'm proud to have my profile pic make an appearance here. Thanks, K!


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Thank YOU, AC! For being awesome. hehe. I'm glad you enjoyed me take.


evvy_09 profile image

evvy_09 6 years ago from Athens, AL

You have really good points. People really are forgetting how to really notice that who they talk to, buy stuff from, etc. are in fact people too. But I am bad about texting instead of calling just because I hate talking on the phone and would rather text if I can't talk face to face

I think we should all strive to notice others more. Good hub


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

I'm so with you on that whole text-vs-talk thing eevy. I'm very bad with phone calls. I never want to talk to anyone. hehe. That's my flaw.

Thanks for commenting!


LizzyBoo profile image

LizzyBoo 6 years ago from Czech Republic

Waka waka Ahoj Sestra!

You are sadist!!!! You asked me to read the hub whille I sit in my office. People who sits around me thought that someone died when the tears started to come out of my eyes.

Your hub made me speechless. You are so talented and not everyone can write as you do. You have the gift from God to be able to express your thoughts and give them a meaning.

I am honored and happy to be your friend.

I am completaly mad about this hub. So I will just printed out and carry with me, so I can read as often as possible to keep my brain cells happy.

Thank you Lizzy

Waka Waka


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Ahoj sestra!

I'm glad you made it to my Hub. Waka waka! Cha Cha. I can just imagine how people are looking at you right now, crying at your desk.

Dekuji for the compliments. I'm glad I can express my thoughts well. Glad to be your friend too! About your printing this Hub out... AWWWWWWWW!!!! Enough said!

-K. Alto

Eh Eh!


LizzyBoo profile image

LizzyBoo 6 years ago from Czech Republic

Kim we have to stop the Waka Waka thingy on public as people we like might think we got mad. On the other hand, yeah we are mad so we can WAKA WAKA!

So I think the next hub should be about Waka Waka -coz it is for Africa


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

lol. I can't get that song out of my head! So hard! I think this will last for at least another week. Let people think we're mad. Eh eh!


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 6 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Your Hub presents the right atmosphere here on Hubpages and,to me,whether face to face or cyber-space the ins and outs are about equal,Peace,Bryan;)


marvalousnj profile image

marvalousnj 6 years ago from Central Jersey USA

This is a positive and encouraging hub. Great one again Kalto! You can pick and choose friends around you as well as cyber space.....yes "Cyber friends are people too!" Nicely put......I like :-).


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Thank you, Bryan (now I know the name behind the Mentalist). You made rhyme in the beginning of your comment, you know that? hehe. I'm happy that my Hub can set the right atmosphere. Thanks!

Marvalous, I'm happy to be positive and encouraging. You're so right about the pick and choose. Thanks! haha. Yes, cyber-friends are people too!


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

Kim - this is a lovely testament to the positive power of Hubpages and the corresponding emotions it can engender among its writers and supporters. I agree with your hypothesis 100% - cyper-friends, those I call Hubbuddies, are not only people but can, in a very short time, become your BFFs.


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Yay! I'm glad you agree with me, Dr. BJ. Thanks for that. HubPages is awesome! It gave me new friends his much more awesome can it be? I know... HP can pay for my plane ticket to visit my friends. Hehe. I'm going to write a proposal. :)

Thanks for commenting!


silverfoxygirl108 profile image

silverfoxygirl108 6 years ago

Awww! I saw my pic... *Sniff* I feel so special! :) haha I kid, I kid- I joke, I joke. but I think you defined the real meaning of Friendship perfectly. Risk with benefits. :) that's only a fraction of what I got in a very tiny nutshell. haha but no, this was very well done. :) It's an honor to be considered your friend... if only slightly.


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

LOL. Hello, Allora. "It's an honour to be considered your friend... if only slightly." That made me laugh. Yes, your pic is included! Hmmm... I wonder what that means. :) Risk with benefits describes cyberfriendship perfectly. Thanks for stopping by!


LeanMan profile image

LeanMan 6 years ago from At the Gemba

Prefer to make my friends in the real world and move around a little...


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Haha! I have nothing against that, LeanMan. I'm sure many prefer that. I'm not against it, not at ALL.


MPG Narratives profile image

MPG Narratives 6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Friends, whether online or face to face, are still friends. I agree with you kp. We interact when we talk and write. Thanks for a great look at modern friendship.


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Thanks MPG, for agreeing with me and for leaving your comment!


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

That is so sweet! And I absolutely LOVE that song. How did I miss that? Soccer is one of my many loves and I so enjoyed the World Cup but now I need that song. If that isn't the happiest song ever I don't know what is. Thank you so much for doing this hub - great insights into how friendships are made - even on the Internet!


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Hello, Ms. Audrey! Thank you for stopping by. I never once saw this video on television or heard it during the world cup. I discovered it after. It definitely IS one of the happiest song's I've heard. It's like my newest obsession. haha. Thanks for reading and for commenting!


Dobson profile image

Dobson 6 years ago from Virginia

Much truth in this hub Kimberly. I am glad you took the time to collect your thoughts and share them as i am sure many of us will echo them. So good to see you have benefitted from hub pages and the other sites.


Dobson profile image

Dobson 6 years ago from Virginia

Congrats on getting hub 30 done!


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Thank you Dobson. Thank you for EVERYTHING.... enough said. :)


fred allen profile image

fred allen 6 years ago from Myrtle Beach SC

I feel as though I can count many of those I've met at Hubpages among my friends. I try to show myself as a friend to them. Your hub makes me wonder if I shouldn't reach out a little further with some. You obviously have a tender heart. I commend you for reaching out. Voted up and beautiful!


Website Examiner 6 years ago

I am glad I came across this article. It shows HubPages from a very different perspective than what I see. As far as I am concerned, it is not a social networking site but an article publishing site. I just lost a follower and dear acquaintance over the issue of whether or not hubbers ought to comment regularly on each other's hubs. In my opinion, there ought to be no norm in this regard, and there is so much more to this site. I wrote a hub about the issue too. W.E.


starqueen13 profile image

starqueen13 6 years ago from Houston, Tx

hahaha i think i can definitely see some parts that were me! like " she sent me a picture, lol which parts for sure are me? lol great hub, read everything

oh and OMG! haha i see my picture! i didn't recognize it at first bit it looks cool


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Aww, thanks Fred! I'm glad I'm not the only mad person on here who feels as though we've made a few friends. About me having a tender heart... awwww... Thanks!


LizzyBoo profile image

LizzyBoo 6 years ago from Czech Republic

You are definatelly and completally mad lady Kim! You are totally suitable drive madly throught hubpages as you've got a talent!

waka waka LizzyBoo


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Well, we all have different perspectives, don't we, W.E. A lot of people have agreed with me - as you can see from these comments - but not everyone is the same. We're all free to have our own opinions. There's nothing wrong with that.

Honestly, I completely agree with the Hubber you lost - assuming that he/she believes that comments ought to comment regularly. I truly beleive that, as this is so much more that just a blog and go site. It's a community.

However, like I said, there's always room for disagreements in any perspective. So... I DO aprpeciate you commenting.


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Kim / starqueen. That part actually relates to you and someone else. I didn't notice that. lol. Yes, your picture is there too! haha.


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

LizzyBoo, who told you I was mad? I need to have a word with that person. He or she shouldn't be spreading such true rumours about me. :) I love your comment... "driving madly through Hubpages..." lol.


Website Examiner 6 years ago

Kaltopsyd, I beg to differ. I believe that this I-scrach-your-back, you-scratch-mine mentality shows a lack of understanding for the many other ways in which a person can show one's support. Writing reviews about other hubbers is one such example. Critiquing hubbers is another. Supporting hubbers in the help forums is yet another. In my opinion, you and your peers may have a somewhat narrow understanding of what this community is really all about. But nevermind, I wish you and your friends luck in your pursuits. W.E.


LizzyBoo profile image

LizzyBoo 6 years ago from Czech Republic

Well all I can say is this: If hubpages will be only about hubs and not relating to people who actually post them, then we all have no hearts and therefor we would not be able to expect clickers to click on our hubs. So to me Hubpages are a social site as people gather here with the same reason-Earn money and meet people with a same hobby! I am not good at writing and therefor I have many friends here who writes well so I can actually learn from them. It also involves me to contact them from time to time for an opinion.

LizzyBoo


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Thank you W.E. I respect your opinions. Trust me, I do.


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

LizzyBoo! You again! lol. I totally agree with you, sestra.


ACSutliff profile image

ACSutliff 6 years ago

K Alto,

I just wanted to reiterate that I support you and the views of this hub.

Lizzyboo, you took the words right out of my mouth! How refreshing! Thank you LizzyBoo.


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Thanks AC... and LizzyBoo again of course. I appreciate both of you and your support.


nbbatt.com 6 years ago from bear, de, 19701

Thanks, you describe even we are in different town. we are closer. long distance near heart. as of we shake hand each other


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

I like the way you put it, nbbatt. Thanks!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis

Hey, I'm a people too! I'm not just a cowboy hat wearin, gun totin, handsome dude in an avatar!

I've made lots of good friends from HP, people I communicate with on a frequent basis, and many of these relationships have gone on for two years. Aside from the physical part - actually seeing them - they are as important to me as people I see for real. It's an interesting time for us humans.

and nobody else talk Trini to yuh, dat duh trut, guhl!


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Christoph my Trini bredrin, lol

I should've added your picture. You never fail to make me laugh. Yes, you are people too... haha. So you agree with me? Awesome. Thanks! Oh and thanks for all de Trini talk!


kb24fanatic profile image

kb24fanatic 6 years ago from philippines

I joined a lot of social networking sites, I gained lots of friends and I'm real. LOL!


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Hello KB24. I'm glad to hear that you're real. Hahaha. I live your comment. You gave me a good laugh this morning.


wavegirl22 profile image

wavegirl22 6 years ago from New York, NY

Thumbs up big time on this Hub about friends. Online friends are just as real as cyber ones. Funny just this week I met a Hubber, so I guess you can say he is a cyber real life friend. And dont believe what LeanMan says up above. He likes his friends any which way he can get them :) Congrats on completing your 30! I have awhole lot of catching up to do. Maybe if I stopped chatting with all my online friends I couls get some of them published!!


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Haha, thanks for this comment, Shari. I can't wait to meet a couple of my cyber friends so they become real life friends. I'll keep in mind what you say about LeanMan. haha. Good luck with the rest of the challenge!


sammyfiction profile image

sammyfiction 6 years ago from Australia

Great read :) I particularily agree with the soon-not-being-able-to-communicate-face-to-face thing. I am a guilty part in this too, catching the "lol" and "soz" bugs and actually saying in a conversation when talking to my friends, employees and my boyfriend! It is sad and a horrible horrible habit to break, as other people help me say it. Oh well.

But I also agree with the hub in general. The internet and social networking has become such a large part of the way of "western" life - employers now will search potential candidates online for suspicious activity and what-not. (Not that I do this :/ hehe)

Living outside of the computer square is also good too, as you mentioned.

Thanks again! :)


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Well thank you for agreeing with me, Sam! I'm only slightly impressed with the amount of concord I have received on this Hub. I'm glad to know you have cyber friends too. haha. ANd yes! about employers. Employers check facebook before the hire people now. Even some schools do it.

Yikes! It makes you be careful of the things you put on facebook.

Thanks for your awesome comment!


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

It can happen, there are good people here at HP too, You are a good person, I can see that, Maita


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Aww, thanks, Maita! That's sweet.


Arian Rey profile image

Arian Rey 5 years ago from Pearl of the Orient Seas (PHILIPPINES)

Nice hub about online friendship. It's a breath of fresh air, away from the usual info hubs that we used to read here.


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 5 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA Author

Oh, what a nice comment. Thank you, Arian!

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