Facebook Is The Neediest Girlfriend I Never Had!
I’ve ranted about people sending me requests to help them on Facebook with their farms, their Mafia Wars or trying to start a snowball fight with me via the Internet. While I’m on Facebook daily and enjoy seeing what (most) of my friends are up to, these types of applications just get on my damn nerves. Now there’s a new rash of stupid “likes” that people are putting on their Facebook pages that prove that Facebook is the neediest girlfriend I never had! – Don’t Get Me Started!
“I feel sad today please LIKE me to make me happy” – yes, this is just one of the newest line of needy attention getters from people on Facebook. Are you serious? I didn’t think I had anyone who was STILL in high school on my Facebook page but apparently I only accounted for chronological age and not emotional age. While I was one of the three people in the world who felt that Sally Field’s Oscar speech of, “You like me, you really like me” was adorable and heartfelt the same cannot be said for the above phrase that is appearing on more than a few of my Facebook friends. I want to slap them across the face like Cher did to Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck and proclaim, “Snap out of it!”
Look, as a gay man it’s taken me almost all of my forty-something years to get my self esteem to where it should be but one thing I always was smart enough to know was to not let my slip nor my lack of self esteem show. I can’t think of anything more of a turn off (speaking of friends or lovers) than needy. Sure we all can be needy at times but let’s do that after you’ve established you can stand on your own two feet shall we? Posting the fact that you’re a needy person is about as much fun to read as how your bowel movements are going, seeing that you “checked in” at the gas station where you also have gas from the burrito you purchased there or some sappy “life affirming” phrase you read on a Flavia card in 1982.
I like reading people who have something clever or funny to say on their Facebook status or wall as it were. It lets me feel as though I know what my pals in foreign lands as well as different states are doing but this new line of needy notices has got to go people. I can only imagine how far this neediness will go and frankly it makes me not throw up a little bit in my mouth but full on puke.
There’s a little phrase that people used to use back in the day and I think more people need to start using it today, “pull yourself up by your bootstraps!” I don’t care if it’s your bootstraps, your wonder bra or your jock strap just get a hold of yourself people and start being responsible for yourself. I can’t take care of one more person, animal or bad driver texting in front of me so please don’t think that I’m going to put on a digital cheerleading costume to make you feel better about yourself on Facebook! Two bits, four bits, Get Away From Me If You Wallow (in self pity)!
I know, I’m a gay, I’m supposed to be sensitive. And for the most part I am but sometimes I think tough love is the better road to take. So here it is. Stop it people. Stop with all the neediness and begging for attention from people you haven’t seen in twenty years since high school and your kid’s soccer coach. It doesn’t make you attractive in the least and let’s face it, while your online presence can, like a photo be photoshopped to not show your imperfections, when you throw your needy all out there, don’t be surprised if you suddenly find yourself with a few less “friends” or less access to the stuff on their Facebook pages. Facebook is the neediest girlfriend I never had! – Don’t Get Me Started!
Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com
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