Funny Facebook Status-Funny Status Lines

Funny Facebook status? Funny status lines?  You are not serious right?

As of September 2009, Facebook has now three hundred million members all over the world making it one of the leading social networking sites. Imagine that! And one of the things that Facebook users enjoy doing is updating their statuses. There are different postings. Some are downright silly, funny, corny, while others are serious or inspirational. I've noticed a lot of family and friends post their thoughts or whatever activity they are engaged at for the moment. Well, it's a great way to keep in touch and connect with some people I know.

Obviously, I am in the mood for something light and funny for the day. Here are funny facebook status lines collected or gathered which you are free to use and modify as you wish. Enjoy and if you want to add some more..go ahead!

Funny Facebook Status

  • used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!
  • knows she's bored when she has thoughts of what the cat would look like shaved !!
  • is trying to decide if she has an attitude problem today, or not.
  • I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake
  • When she came home I had laid a trail of roses to the bedroom...I had candles lit everywhere, jazz playing in the background and wine chilling with me waiting for her in my the next thing I need to do is introduce myself......
  • giving "the silent treatment" only matters to those who want to hear what you have to say.
  • secretly stalks slimey children's toys
  • wonders whether he'll ever see psychedelic cowboy boots
  • is eating a hearty meal of spectacular hair implants
  • is trying to sell a useless set of feelings
  • says don't you hate it when you miss a call by the last ring, but when you immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail? What did the person do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
  • obsesses over spectacular slam dunks
  • is not scared of heights.... just widths!!!!
  • is your father's brother's nephew's cousin's sister's uncle's brother's friend's second cousin's former roommate on your mothers side.
  • is trying to stop being indecisive, but is not sure about it...
  • has THOUGHT about getting out of bed... still thinking, still thinking...
  • says I get this funny feeling that people are reading the things I type here but maybe I'm just being paranoid.

I Don't Like to Hear Myself Think!

More Funny Facebook Status

  • is wondering if they could invent a self cleaning oven, why can't they invent a self cleaning house?
  • says watch out causeI know karate...and 7 other Japanese words!
  • thinking its funny how,When people talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks back, it's called schizophrenia !!!
  • will not be responsible for her actions if she doesn't get some chocolate soon
  • is playing loud music to keep from hearing her own thoughts
  • says why is it that whenever there’s two women in a profile pic the hot one is always someone else..?
  • The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
  • is pretending that she doesn't exist
  • Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
  • I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up
  • First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering
  • is thinking about doing something! Now just got to think what that something will be!!!
  • you know you are having a bad day, when the bird singing outside your window is a vulture
  • doesn't understand what the fascination is with Camping...You work hard all year to pay your Mortgage/Rent, only to spend your vacation pretending you're Homeless
  • thinks the best part about his job is that his chair spins!
  • says people are always asking what's the meaning of life, why dont they just look it up in the dictionary. Duh!!!!
  • Apparently you have been misinformed, because the ONLY advantage you have over me is... you can "kiss my ass" and I cant...
  • wonders if there is a cure for "dumbassness" if so, I know a few people who need a dose.
  • says I'm tired of chasing my dreams, I'm just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
  • you know you need to get a life when you've just spent half an hour compulsively rearranging your trees in Farmville.
  • had a brief but terrifying bout of sanity, but everything is back to normal now.
  • is riding a pink giraffe wearing her underpants and a top hat
  • is on strike! she will not be talking to anyone, until her demands are met. she wants a baby monkey and an army of Scottish squirrels!
  • Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk
  • was almost killed today when he fell off a horse. Thank god the walmart employee saw me, came over and unplugged the thing
  • would like a refund on this life.
  • if you cant laugh at yourself, ill be happy to do it for you
  • To make it straight, she pulls it. 2 make it stand, she rubs it. 2 make it stiff, she licks it. 2 let it “IN” she pushes it. !!!! True! Threading a needle is not easy!!!
  • Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent
  • says If this was 1999, would you have ever thought 10 years from now you could sit on the toilet while updating your facebook status???

standing on her front lawn with her pants down waiting for Google Earth to come by and take her picture..

  • is trying to keep her eyes open when she sneezes
  • eanie, meanie, minie, moe, caught a Tiger with his ho.
  • has just had Guinness Book of Records on the phone, they want to measure my ironing pile..
  • When it comes to driving, anybody going slower than me is an idiot, and anyone going faster than me is a maniac.
  • Dear Winter, I think we should spend some time apart... I'm gonna try to work things out with my ex, Summer...
  • If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is broken
  • I'm telepathically cleaning my house! So if you're really nice to me, maybe I'll "think" about cleaning yours too!
  • is offering her children on buy 1 get 1 free
  • wonders if fish ever get thirsty???
  • is now on two diets...because she was still hungry after just one
  • is planning a night he can't remember!
  • is going into me when it's safe to come out
  • wonders if we ain't meant to have midnight snacks why is there a light in the refrigerator?
  • is caffeinating.
  • says it's been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom....
  • is thinking if you give a person a fish you feed them for a day, teach a person to use facebook and they won't bother you for weeks.
  • is single...and you're going to have to be freakin' awesome to change that!!

If you want to connect with me on Facebook, click here!

Do you get a kick out of reading or commenting on facebook statuses?

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Comments 199 comments

Mike the salesman profile image

Mike the salesman 7 years ago from birmingham alabama/sherwood oregon

Lol I had fun reading this..Thanks!

Scott.Life 7 years ago thinking he spends too much time online, wondering what other people are doing.

IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 7 years ago from Hawaii

What's life now without FB! A friend told me Facebook deserves the Nobel for connecting the world, the way it has done it. My own personal list of it's merits is quite long (i may write a hub about it), but understand many are still finding their way to it or in it. I thought it was incredible when my daughter and her FB friends managed to overturn the Philippine Govt's ban on relief goods from abroad by making so much noise internationally. Long story, but, all thanks to FB. I'm glad you wrote this hub. I really enjoyed it, and had some laughs!

shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 7 years ago

Gosh so funny :)

"I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake"

Hilarious.... and i like the self-cleaning house too :) Thanks Ate, great and funny hub...

Triplet Mom profile image

Triplet Mom 7 years ago from West Coast

These are hilarious....thanks for sharing!

dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

Wow. My day was "Eh" until I swung by and read this. I think that the toughest choice I'd have to make is deciding which one of the statuses is the funniest. Loved it, Michelle. Thank you!

VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 7 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

Thanks for the chuckles, Michelle! The photo of the woman with the pants down waiting for google earth to take her picture is funny. It would never have occurred to me to come up with that joke. LOL!

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Mike is grinning like a Cheshire cat.

While Scott is using his brains, ripplemaker is hibernating!

Ripplemaker is now intrigued by Island Voice's story.

Shamel are you awake now? Hahahaha

I see Triplet Mom's teeth all the way to the back when she laughs!

Dohn is still unsure.

VioletSun is wondering why google earth would do such a thing.

Guys, thank you for dropping by. I just needed something light to write after a very busy week in school. There are quite a lot of funny status lines around and as VioletSun said some are indeed funny. Thanks for being here. Hugs

emohealer profile image

emohealer 7 years ago from South Carolina

This was a great compilation of status on facebook. The amazing thing is that they really are not random. This is real day outlooks and sharing. LOL, had great fun reading them. I enjoy facebook and all of the different types of interaction, inspiration and humour. Love the pictures also depicting the humorous lighter side of life...Thanks!

livingsta profile image

livingsta 7 years ago from United Kingdom

Lol that was funny :D

KMST profile image

KMST 7 years ago from Dhaka, Bangladesh

Really good funny findings.

lyricsingray 7 years ago

Fantastic! My favorite is ' first the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering' I needed to laugh right now so thanks, Kimberly

masco 7 years ago

the photo of the women with the pants down is really so Funny..

cally2 profile image

cally2 7 years ago from Paraparaumu, New Zealand

I really got to smile. Not the first time today but the best so far. LOL

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Ripplemaker is grinning and waving wildly to emohealer, livingsta, KMST, lyricsingray, masco, cally! I can see you guys, can you see me?!!!

Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 7 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

Hahahahaha! This is a hoot! I am smiling today thanks to you! : ))

Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

Tatjana-Mihaela 7 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

He, he, he...spending a lot of time on FB, Michelle?

I love your choices of FB status... Telepathic cleaning of house is my favorite one.


Blogging Erika profile image

Blogging Erika 7 years ago

Too funny - thanks for the laugh, I needed it!

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Ripplemaker is delighted that she made Cheeky Girl smile today! :)

Guilty of spending too much time on Facebook! Tatjana, if you ever want me to clean your house, I'd be willing to do it telephathically. Hahahahahha

Keep laughing Blogging Erika!

Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Funny and a nice light diversion. I enjoyed it! Thanks!

Carmen Borthwick profile image

Carmen Borthwick 7 years ago from Maple Ridge, B.C.

I loved 'knows she's bored when she has thoughts of what the cat would look like shaved !!' My cat as yet is unshaven.

mikataz 7 years ago

thats funny

myownworld profile image

myownworld 7 years ago from uk

'If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is broken'....ha ha...story of my life! wonderful stuff...had such a laugh! thanks for posting.

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Ripplemaker is rushing for an appointment but just had to stop by to say HOWDY to Christoph, Carmen, Mikataz and MyOwnWorld! I can hear your laughter all the way to my room! LOL

writing4rmysoul profile image

writing4rmysoul 7 years ago from Kansas City, Missouri

Someone that wonders if fish ever get thirsty should wonder if they're still duh!!

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

writing4armysoul: hahaahahahahahahaha

darkside profile image

darkside 7 years ago from Australia

Here's a few more for the collection:

* The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.

* Animals may be our friends. But they won’t pick you up at the airport.

* Sadly, I only have 1 parent... my mum left before I was born.

* I have a friend on Facebook whose status says "Suicidal – Standing on the edge of a cliff"... So I poked him.

* Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

* just watched the World Rock Climbing Championships... it was a gripping contest.

* If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

* Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.

* When I'm feeling depressed, I like to cut myself... another piece of cheesecake.

* I despise cliquishness, for reasons only my four closest friends will ever properly understand.

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Ripplemaker woke up from today's stupor to read darkside's facebook status collection. She's wide awake and laughing LOL profile image 7 years ago from Saint Laurant de Cerdans, Pyrénees Orientales, France


seminars 7 years ago

amazing work

Drew Breezzy profile image

Drew Breezzy 7 years ago from somewhere in my mind

HAHA I read some good one from my FB friends today.

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

It's a sunny Friday in my room! The sun didn't forget to turn on the light today. Hello Chara, seminars and Drew Breezy! :)

raj 7 years ago

very nice post. thank you

dave272727 profile image

dave272727 7 years ago from Kentucky

Good Stuff!!

My Digest profile image

My Digest 7 years ago

I love facebook and reading what people are doing. It's a great way to get little updates. Thanks for the laughter ripplemaker!

Ambersky  7 years ago

That is so funny I will now look a little closer

Jawa Lunk 7 years ago

I update my status a right back, have to post that I'm leaving a post here...

Fresh_Flower profile image

Fresh_Flower 7 years ago from London

Great hub! I'm still proud that I'm not connected to facebook... But I don't know if I can take it anymore...

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Amber: teehee yes do..some are quite funny. :)

Jawa: You do? Maybe I should follow you...

Fresh Flower: Hahaha Go for it! :)

Duchess OBlunt 7 years ago

A nice light Hub for today! Thanks for the smiles everyone

Dennis kirk profile image

Dennis kirk 7 years ago

Lol, My mood is just changed after reading this. Add some more please

StevenCavendish profile image

StevenCavendish 7 years ago

Really excellent hub. Well done. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it:)

jaybojas profile image

jaybojas 7 years ago

o wow, this is so funny. Nice hub. Now i know where to stop in for a short laugh by myself...:)

Mitch King profile image

Mitch King 7 years ago from Wilsoville, OR, USA

These are very funny. You do really come across some interesting stuff on Facebook.

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Duchess, Dennis, Steven, Jay and Mitch - laughter is the best medicine. Keep those smiles frozen in place LOL Thanks for dropping by and sharing a funny moment with me! Blessings!

divacratus profile image

divacratus 7 years ago from India

Haha! Awesome! :)

knell63 profile image

knell63 7 years ago from Umbria, Italy

I was choosing between the noose or the pills but you've made me laugh now. Very funny post.

AshtonCorey profile image

AshtonCorey 7 years ago

Good posting about face book

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Divacratus, knell and Ashton are laughing! And it continues to thrill me that I got drunk with coffee. :)

Fitter profile image

Fitter 7 years ago

funny finding indeed

it takes me hours to make my status look attractive for my friends in facebook

perriwinkle_12 7 years ago


mea09 profile image

mea09 7 years ago

I like facebook I have family and friends on there and also Can meet new people.

perriwinkle_12 7 years ago

lol..if my house is clean that means facebook is broken..that apply to us!!...nice one!!

Facebook Strategies 7 years ago

Another great hub

terrowhite profile image

terrowhite 7 years ago

ahhahhha. cool hub dudette....

mp3crunch profile image

mp3crunch 7 years ago from Kathmandu Nepal

heaheah. lol one . i have also put one of them status. Thanks. If some facebook fan want to see the photo of the person that is not in their friend list pls look at this post.

Springboard profile image

Springboard 7 years ago from Wisconsin

A little levity always makes the heavier part of the day lighter. Thanks. :)

regality profile image

regality 7 years ago from Iloilo City, Philippines

can't help but LOL ;)

here's mine too, just to share:

Glad to see someone from Cebu,

I'm from Iloilo. Take care!

Lioratova 7 years ago

Cute Hub! Very original too :)

Ann Nonymous profile image

Ann Nonymous 6 years ago from Virginia

This is great! I need to add some friends on my account like this....well actually I have a lot of farmville friends...haha! Thanks for the good laugh, ripplemaker!

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Thanks everyone..glad you are enjoying this hub :)

blaise25 profile image

blaise25 6 years ago from close to you...

thanks for the good laugh :)

jayjay40 profile image

jayjay40 6 years ago from Bristol England

Love this hub, just joined facebook and feeling a bit lost. Thanks for sharing

moviemick profile image

moviemick 6 years ago

Hilarious, can't beat facebook status updates. Sometimes there are entire threads of facebook status messages that go back and forth tracking a person, and they're funny too, just like some wall posts and wall-to-wall comment threads. Thanks for sharing these!

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Thanks guys for enjoying these facebook status. :)

mynameisnotpaul profile image

mynameisnotpaul 6 years ago from Kentuckeh'

Too funny. :)

beatriz 6 years ago


wild cat ... nadzz  6 years ago

lol ... very boring !!!

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author


BDazzler profile image

BDazzler 6 years ago from Gulf Coast, USA

All of my facebook statuses are very serious. I never try to make people laugh with mine ...

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Hmmm maybe I should try a hub...Serious Facebook Status...and can I borrow yours?

BDazzler profile image

BDazzler 6 years ago from Gulf Coast, USA

Sure use today's ! *snicker*

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

How I wish the internet connection will speed up...everything is j u s t super s l o w. :)

orgil 6 years ago

no comment

Kev 6 years ago

This was funny

Your Moms Ballzakkk 6 years ago

lol these are funnay as hell

turkan 6 years ago

hahaha ripplemaker ur a jokkwer

Kieran 6 years ago

Are you guys serious? I read that whole thing and didn't crack a smile

Farrr out what's happened to humor

The only funny status are ones where people are pissed of or being extremely sarcastic

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author


neema  6 years ago


jetplane111 6 years ago

why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets

Ajaymax 6 years ago

I like it...Thanks!

ipl (isabella p. l.) 6 years ago

by far very funny....but some of them are really old...:) :)

skye 6 years ago

Mint as like

jae 6 years ago

hilarious stuff

najooooooo 6 years ago

nice ones, bt nt hilarious.......:-/

mobi 6 years ago


fbhypetrafficx 6 years ago

Thank you. A new way to search for friends. I'm going to apply it right away

deja 6 years ago

here something you can put on your wall i did and i made it up! In life the door may shut and lock on you but dont be afraid to jump out the window it may be worth the jump!!!

shimpy 6 years ago

gosh...dey wr ol so damn awsm!!!! stil cnt gt ovr d gr8 laughtr ride dat i'v jst had!!

UNLOVED ROHIT 6 years ago

love love you for this g8t hub keep it up

piggy369 6 years ago

OMG! these are hilarious, your a fb genious :)

gurmeet 6 years ago

nyc..!! =D

virender 6 years ago

awsm out of cntrl wn reading ths

shabaz  6 years ago


Hampton 6 years ago

So funny! Seriously people share things a little too personal on facebook sometimes =)

Pradip Filth 6 years ago

WOW....the page is great...and i a lot of fun while reading this...LOL

aayman ilyas 6 years ago

toooo funnny ..........:P

Becca G 6 years ago

good stuff

diana kaminskaya 6 years ago

I looove this(:


Nidhi kapoor 6 years ago

I m Loving it...

devanshi 6 years ago

every1 really keeps out the request of farmville!!! haha

shahista  6 years ago

lol!!!luvd it... :*

indi collier 6 years ago

ahha made me lmao on all of em lool :) xx

Rena 6 years ago

These were very clever.

aastha 6 years ago

hilarious.,.,thanx for sharing.,.,

imtiaz arab 6 years ago

this is crazy.... and i loved it!

crunchy 6 years ago


Slim Jim 5 years ago

That was amazing.

NAZ 5 years ago

u rock thanxxxxx

Ana 5 years ago

Ok...;-). I had a laugh!

wizbitz profile image

wizbitz 5 years ago

One word===> "hahaha"

jag 5 years ago

great for relaxation.. love it!

amol chaudhari 5 years ago

hahaha funny...!!!

Chinmay Bokil 5 years ago

these is a real funny stuff ! Thanx 4 sharing !

heaven 5 years ago

lol luv it

prototype 5 years ago


brieanna 5 years ago

lol so so funny:)!

virk 5 years ago

i got fed by reading these funny things again nd again so this all seems boring 4 me, please add some new one's.

vishakh  5 years ago

nice status

wexie woodcock 5 years ago

i wuv it

SADMAN 5 years ago

friggin' hilarious... good job maite (:

Olanrewaju sunday 5 years ago

My brother and sister....i beg 4 ur pardon...I am a student and am looking the person that will sponsor me to school...please help me...and GOD will be with you all adieu 4 now.

Abhishek Sachan 5 years ago

hey..interesting funny stuff....loved it

diva99 5 years ago

cool unz.. was rely lukin for sumtin gud 2 post.. i posted 1 of the statuses and som1 immediately likd it.. usually its nt noticed... thnx a lot, realy helpful.. keep it up!! :))

Shada 5 years ago


arti 5 years ago

these are the best posts ever, you ROCK !!!!!

Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

A great hub.

Take care


subekchhya 5 years ago

thumbs up

lesli 5 years ago


cheerfulnuts profile image

cheerfulnuts 5 years ago from Manila, Philippines

"you know you need to get a life when you've just spent half an hour compulsively rearranging your trees in Farmville."- I got to tell this to my dad, haha!

Robyn 5 years ago

` lmao if yu aint got no facebook !

Gerrard 5 years ago

Kewl....It was nice..

Judithc 5 years ago

I was laughing when I saw the one about buy one child get one free! I actually posted that up before I read it here! Haha funny to know other moms think the same.. But I love my kids:)

stella winx 5 years ago

haha..its g8 tym iz on f.b

Lol itz my fav plc 2 sit n enjoy my tym!!

nyc status abv...hhehe :)

marty 5 years ago

three letters "lol" super cool

ashiq raj 5 years ago

thank for that

nikma 5 years ago

thanks 4 posting it.... relly had fun reading thru.

aquib arman 5 years ago

here is some cool comments but i want more...

Me 5 years ago





kripesh 5 years ago

i m having so much fun by reading this

krazy.d 5 years ago

funny, need to add more though,

Lerah 5 years ago

love it!haha

thandie mhlophe 5 years ago

loliiiiiiiiiiiiiing this is really funny

nour 5 years ago

i got my last feelings


Manu 5 years ago

good work ..... keep it up........

raymond pacada 5 years ago

i love to online in fb,,, i want to see more updates about it.. to chat friend... and to see pic.... in short i like it... ROFL....... hahaha

Chihiro susimiya 5 years ago

This was so9 useful and funny!!!

siddharth goswami 5 years ago

its realy vry funny nd fantastic yar....mindblowing...outstanding....thnk u :)

loappe orekeno scorpio 5 years ago

oh...??tht was much fun and hav laugh

sabith sabu 5 years ago

2ha 2hi

E.V 5 years ago

It's this time of nite - When my mind goes into overdrive- WHAT THE HELL WERE GOLDILOCK'S PARENTS THINKING OF?.&.HOW THE F#CK DID THE BEARS GET A COUNCIL HOUSE? 5 years ago

i want some funny pics on facebook so help me get one

shannon dawson 5 years ago

hahaha this is so freakin funny XD

abhee 5 years ago

nice collection

*sumbody stole my english roughbook whn i was in school




nw it is known as 'oxford dictionary'

PRIYA DAS 5 years ago


Anonomus 5 years ago

"Childrens laughter makes me happy. Unless I'm in a dark abandoned hospital and my flashlight isn't working properly

Komal 5 years ago

Its more commnts

rocky 5 years ago

To make it straight, she pulls it. 2 make it stand, she rubs it. 2 make it stiff, she licks it. 2 let it “IN” she pushes it. !!!! True!!! Threading a needle is not easy!!! :P :P diz was awsme manh :P 5 years ago

super likable

i will digg it

jjjj 5 years ago


Eme Michael 5 years ago

its really really very excellent stuff in your blog.very good to reading your stuff. For Those Who Enjoy Statuses On Facebook, We're Just Trying To Make New Status And You Can Also Get Latest Statuses From There Facebook Statuses.

sanjeev 5 years ago


JDB 5 years ago

Like (insert fb thumbs up here)

7amudi shkeir 5 years ago


maria 5 years ago

ur mom is so fat she tryied killin herself by jumpin out of her basemrnt window hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah lolol

bernard baruiz 5 years ago

so nice!

jennifer 5 years ago



patricia gemayel 5 years ago

hahahaha nice quotes

Mathi yazhagan 5 years ago

happy children's day

Binita Pokhrel 5 years ago



HAD A MUCH TIME.................

numbsain 5 years ago

hates it when you wait too long to answer nature's call and it goes to voicemail.

Thinks sarcasm is just soooooo great.

wonders why those tiny blurry people I always see in the distance never come closer. I'd like to hold a little blurry guy in my hand.

penny 5 years ago

sometimes i don't understand how people act to become ur friends in the smetime ur worse night mares.

Bryan Dunstable 5 years ago

Holy crap this is funny stuff lol

Richa Sharma 5 years ago

hahaha all are mind blowing yar..

sum1 over the rainbow 5 years ago

its soooooo funny seeing ppl hav posted 2 years ago lol 2 funny

Put ty tang 5 years ago

Funniest comment: Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time...hilarious and great advice.

Amit Kodi 5 years ago

it was fun reading this!

LOL Angel! 5 years ago

is holding him/herself hostage and if u ever want to see me again pay me 1Billion dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D =D =D =D

I swear my pillow could b a hair stylist.................. I always wake up with the weirdest hair styles!

blueeyes 5 years ago

actually giggleing at these mate dont think have ever updated my status as much in the last 5 mins than i have done in the last 4 years !!

Infobrowser profile image

Infobrowser 5 years ago from UK

This article is a Jackpot for Facebookers! Thanks =)

I've put up a short article about funny Facebook features if anyone would like some more entertainment.

Eme Michael 5 years ago

Thanks For Giving Us Such Wonderful Knowledge.Really i like your information. For Those Who Enjoy Statuses On Facebook, We're Just Trying To Make New Funny Statuses For You Guys Hope You Guys Really Like Our Funny Statuses And You Can Also Get Latest Statuses From

roshan 5 years ago


Ayoosh Adores U 5 years ago

omg i thought i wont laugh but i did like hell!

Sexy me 5 years ago

Funny xD !!!

nikashi_designs 5 years ago

Have to say, that was some funny lines. I like, "you know you are having a bad day, when the bird singing outside your window is a vulture" Thanks.

sophie williams 5 years ago

this is so funny i stole a few for my fb and i have had endless comments thnk u 4 making my day :) xx

nedkc 4 years ago

i do not get it

Jason 4 years ago

I thought it was cool

miro 4 years ago


Brendan 4 years ago

I see that several of mine are on here!

Hollister boy 4 years ago

ladies add me on face book.

martina dazz 4 years ago

it was funny..........

joseph 4 years ago

that was kinda nice :)##@@

asley 4 years ago

haha larious to somebody hmmmmm i have a frog named jeniffer lopez just thought u needed to know ya so hey hey jal-o

Twan 4 years ago

Haha! The first one is the best!

Keep it up.

mo 4 years ago

still laughing hilariously! lov it

Elixir Lee profile image

Elixir Lee 4 years ago from Los Angeles, California

HAHA! These are great. You should also check out this huge collection of different types of FB Status updates

shaira 4 years ago

i love facebook because it make me feel good jejeje

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