Funny Facebook Status-Funny Status Lines
Funny Facebook status? Funny status lines? You are not serious right?
As of September 2009, Facebook has now three hundred million members all over the world making it one of the leading social networking sites. Imagine that! And one of the things that Facebook users enjoy doing is updating their statuses. There are different postings. Some are downright silly, funny, corny, while others are serious or inspirational. I've noticed a lot of family and friends post their thoughts or whatever activity they are engaged at for the moment. Well, it's a great way to keep in touch and connect with some people I know.
Obviously, I am in the mood for something light and funny for the day. Here are funny facebook status lines collected or gathered which you are free to use and modify as you wish. Enjoy and if you want to add some more..go ahead!
Funny Facebook Status
- used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!
- knows she's bored when she has thoughts of what the cat would look like shaved !!
- is trying to decide if she has an attitude problem today, or not.
- I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake
- When she came home I had laid a trail of roses to the bedroom...I had candles lit everywhere, jazz playing in the background and wine chilling with me waiting for her in my robe...now the next thing I need to do is introduce myself......
- giving "the silent treatment" only matters to those who want to hear what you have to say.
- secretly stalks slimey children's toys
- wonders whether he'll ever see psychedelic cowboy boots
- is eating a hearty meal of spectacular hair implants
- is trying to sell a useless set of feelings
- says don't you hate it when you miss a call by the last ring, but when you immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail? What did the person do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- obsesses over spectacular slam dunks
- is not scared of heights.... just widths!!!!
- is your father's brother's nephew's cousin's sister's uncle's brother's friend's second cousin's former roommate on your mothers side.
- is trying to stop being indecisive, but is not sure about it...
- has THOUGHT about getting out of bed... still thinking, still thinking...
- says I get this funny feeling that people are reading the things I type here but maybe I'm just being paranoid.
I Don't Like to Hear Myself Think!
More Funny Facebook Status
- is wondering if they could invent a self cleaning oven, why can't they invent a self cleaning house?
- says watch out causeI know karate...and 7 other Japanese words!
- thinking its funny how,When people talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks back, it's called schizophrenia !!!
- will not be responsible for her actions if she doesn't get some chocolate soon
- is playing loud music to keep from hearing her own thoughts
- says why is it that whenever there’s two women in a profile pic the hot one is always someone else..?
- The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
- is pretending that she doesn't exist
- Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up
- First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering
- is thinking about doing something! Now just got to think what that something will be!!!
- you know you are having a bad day, when the bird singing outside your window is a vulture
- doesn't understand what the fascination is with Camping...You work hard all year to pay your Mortgage/Rent, only to spend your vacation pretending you're Homeless
- thinks the best part about his job is that his chair spins!
- says people are always asking what's the meaning of life, why dont they just look it up in the dictionary. Duh!!!!
- Apparently you have been misinformed, because the ONLY advantage you have over me is... you can "kiss my ass" and I cant...
- wonders if there is a cure for "dumbassness" if so, I know a few people who need a dose.
- says I'm tired of chasing my dreams, I'm just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
- you know you need to get a life when you've just spent half an hour compulsively rearranging your trees in Farmville.
- had a brief but terrifying bout of sanity, but everything is back to normal now.
- is riding a pink giraffe wearing her underpants and a top hat
- is on strike! she will not be talking to anyone, until her demands are met. she wants a baby monkey and an army of Scottish squirrels!
- Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk
- was almost killed today when he fell off a horse. Thank god the walmart employee saw me, came over and unplugged the thing
- would like a refund on this life.
- if you cant laugh at yourself, ill be happy to do it for you
- To make it straight, she pulls it. 2 make it stand, she rubs it. 2 make it stiff, she licks it. 2 let it “IN” she pushes it. !!!! True! Threading a needle is not easy!!!
- Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent
- is insanely mad... IF SOMEBODY SENDS ME ONE MORE FARMVILLE INVITE THEN I WILL KILL YOU'RE ANIMALS AND SET FIRE TO YOUR CROPS!!!!!!!!!
- says If this was 1999, would you have ever thought 10 years from now you could sit on the toilet while updating your facebook status???
standing on her front lawn with her pants down waiting for Google Earth to come by and take her picture..
- is trying to keep her eyes open when she sneezes
- eanie, meanie, minie, moe, caught a Tiger with his ho.
- has just had Guinness Book of Records on the phone, they want to measure my ironing pile..
- When it comes to driving, anybody going slower than me is an idiot, and anyone going faster than me is a maniac.
- Dear Winter, I think we should spend some time apart... I'm gonna try to work things out with my ex, Summer...
- If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is broken
- I'm telepathically cleaning my house! So if you're really nice to me, maybe I'll "think" about cleaning yours too!
- is offering her children on buy 1 get 1 free
- wonders if fish ever get thirsty???
- is now on two diets...because she was still hungry after just one
- is planning a night he can't remember!
- is going into hibernation...call me when it's safe to come out
- wonders if we ain't meant to have midnight snacks why is there a light in the refrigerator?
- is caffeinating.
- says it's been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom....
- is thinking if you give a person a fish you feed them for a day, teach a person to use facebook and they won't bother you for weeks.
- is single...and you're going to have to be freakin' awesome to change that!!
If you want to connect with me on Facebook, click here!
Do you get a kick out of reading or commenting on facebook statuses?See results without voting
More by this Author
Do you want to have voice lessons? The following tips on how to sing better include breathing properly, vocal warm ups, improving tone and more.
Here are some tips on teaching children how to draw starting from stick figures and using letters and numbers to create figures.
Need ideas for games or activities for your family reunion? Here are great ideas for you to make sure your family reunion will be fun and memorable.