Home Entertainment: What Does a Zombie do for Home Entertainment?

What Does a Zombie do for Home Entertainment?

The explosion of home entertainment options offers a huge variety of choices for both humans and zombies. Zombies typically avoid explosions, but not this one. Virtually all online marketing campaigns target sentient humans: how does a well-meaning zombie identify proper home entertainment applications?

Panasonic TC-L32X2 32-Inch LCD HDTV with iPod Dock

Everyone owns an iPod, even zombies who might be a step slow. This amazing television provides a specially engineered iPod dock: each member of the zombie family can play their favorite music and videos for the entire family to enjoy. The 178 degree viewing angle allows zombie hordes to crowd into the living room and comfortably see everything there is to see. There will be no more pushing and shoving during Wheel of Fortune.

Audio Technica AT-LP60 Fully Automatic Belt Driven Turntable

Home entertainment options should not exclude zombies who became undead before the advent of digital media. No self-respecting zombie would trudge into Best Buy shrieking "What Does a Zombie do for Home Entertainment?" Expect Best Buy gurus to be long gone, having escaped into the safe zone with the first wave of survivors.

For the zombies still maintaining collections of vinyl discs, we suggest the Audio Technica AT-LP60. This record player is easy to load (great for zombies who may have lost a finger or three during unfortunate conflicts with armed vigilantes.) It plays both 33-1/3 and 45 RPM records. Several cables are thoughtfully included, thereby avoiding repeated trudges to Radio Shack for extra parts.

Pentax K-r 12.4 MP Digital SLR Camera with 3.0-Inch LCD and 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 Lens

Too many photo opportunities slip past the typical zombie family. Dad and Mom must be prepared to record junior attacking his first farmhouse. Family reunions during the epic trudge down Main Street to attack the remaining humans call for a reliable digital camera. Analog cameras no longer get the job done: unfortunately zombie film drop-offs are no longer welcome at Wal Mart.

This quality camera has a stainless steel body, which is perfect for that unavoidable moment when your favorite zombie has to dodge a pitchfork unexpectedly thrust out from the terrifiedĀ  mob. It comes in three completely different colors: every member of a 3-zombie family can have their own.

Optoma HD20 High Definition 1080p DLP Home Theater Projector

When the whole zombie horde gets together for one last assault on humanity, it's always important to provide quality home entertainment, lest a few stragglers wander off and give away the plan. Project your movies onto the side of an abandoned farmhouse, an abandoned highway overpass, or, if zombies have already taken over the heart of the city, simply commandeer the abandoned first-run movie theater in the trendy shopping mall.

Nylon CD wallet 100 capacity

Rampaging through populated areas presents unique opportunities for building awesome CD collections. It's extremely unlikely that minimum-wage clerks will remain behind to defend the Virgin Megastore in the trendy shopping mall. Each zombie should be equipped with a convenient CD carrying case than can be easily loaded up with the latest hits. These nylon CD wallets are inexpensive enough to be purchased in large quantities without damaging the Zombie Master Plan for World Domination.

Conclusion

The un-dead just wanna have fun. What Does a Zombie do for Home Entertainment? He goes online and shops 'til he drops, which could be longer than we might think.

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Comments 7 comments

Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 5 years ago from Moundsville, WV

nicomp,

I didn't see the primary option listed. Their primary form of recration is most likely spent Time Traveling listening to their old hits, "She's Not There", "Tell Her No", and "Time of The Season"!!!!!!!!!!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Tom Whitworth : I chose to ignore the obvious. ;)


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

nicomp - just for you - my fave zombie joke:

What do you call zombies in a belfry? Dead ringers.


Robwrite profile image

Robwrite 5 years ago from Bay Ridge Brooklyn NY

This is good news for zombies. They are terrible at sports. Too slow. And they get distracted trying to eat the crowd.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj: I don't get it... oh, now I do.

@Robwrite: Zombies are OK at curling, but that's about it.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

60 views... sigh.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

66 Views. Sigh.

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