How to Pretend Your Landline Phone is a Cell Phone

Landline vs. Cell Phone

In today's day and age, just about everyone has a cell phone. Some people are so addicted to their cell phones, you would think their cell phones have been permanently sewn to their ears. Many people now choose to only have a cell phone now rather than a landline phone. Sure, that might sound like a fun idea until a storm comes along and knocks out the power for a week. Good luck with that.

At any rate, there are those of us that prefer a landline phone. You don't need electricity to use them. You just plug them into the wall and go on with your life. Sure, a cell phone can be convenient, but then people insist on being able to reach you anywhere you go. Personally, I am not on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and don't want to be bothered when I am out. So my preference is the landline phone. I have a cell phone (only pay-as-you-go) for emergencies only. However, people mock me all the time for that.

If you are reading this hub right now, chances are, people mock you too for your decision to use a landline phone as your primary phone. Well, I am now here to help you overcome that. From now on, we can just pretend we are using cell phones all the time instead of a landline phones. You may wonder, just how is that possible? Well, I am here to help!

Add Some Static

While you are on your landline phone, it is a clear giveaway if the reception is too clear. Now everyone will know you are not on a cell phone! Of course, if the person on the other end is using a cell phone, the reception is probably terrible on the other end anyway, so it may go unnoticed.

What you need to do is occasionally scratch on your phone so it sounds like the reception is terrible. There! Now it sounds like you are on a cell phone. If you can make some crazy robot sounding vocals, it will really sound like you are using a cell phone. Perfect! Now, you are cool and using a cell phone just like everyone else.

Pretend You Are Getting Texts

While using your landline phone, you don't have to worry about getting those pesky text messages all the time and having them interrupt your phone conversation. Well, you are just so lame, aren't you? It is necessary while on your landline phone to pretend you are constantly receiving texts. You might even need to make an "beep" sound here and there during your phone conversations to really fool the person on the other end into thinking you are on a cell phone.

Hang Up The Phone Sometimes

If you really want to sell your friends and family members on the idea that you are using a cell phone, you are going to have to periodically hang up on them in the middle of a call. When you call back a few minutes later, just tell them, "Damn cell! I can't believe it keeps dropping my calls!" Then, if you really want to take it to the next level, tell them you are going to report it to Verizon, AT&T, T-Mobile... whatever. You've got to really sell them on this one.

Another aspect of the fake dropped call that works so well, is you can also just "drop a call" when someone brings up a subject you'd rather not discuss. Talking to your boss on the phone? Is she telling you about some annoying project you'll have to do the next day? Oh no! Dropped call time! Of course your boss can't be angry. You are using a cell phone, right? Dropped calls happen all the time! No wonder cell phones are so much more popular than landline phones now.

Add Some Distractions

Are you starting to get bored with your phone conversation? Need an excuse to end the call? With a fake cell phone, you can easily achieve that. Just turn on your TV to a group of people talking and pretend you are at the store! Of course, who wants to be honest and let the person on the other end actually know you need to go? No one!

Act like you are at a store just like every other annoying cell phone talker you have to tolerate at any store. Pretend you are about to go to the checkout line. Of course, that might not be that believable. After all, who is actually polite enough to stop the cell phone conversation while at a store now? Maybe you should just pretend you are driving instead. If you mention you might have hit a deer and you need to check on it, that will work.

I've Got To Go...

Well, friends, I hope I've been able to help you find strategies in your own life so you can pretend you are using a cell phone even when you are just using a landline phone. You wouldn't want people to think you were totally out of style, would you? Of course not! So enjoy your fake cell phone fun, and don't forget to drop some calls and pretend your reception is terrible. That is what being cool and having a cell phone is all about!

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Comments 16 comments

cclitgirl profile image

cclitgirl 4 years ago from Western NC

Hehe...I giggled at some of those excuses to hang up the phone. A few years ago I did the pay-as-you-go thing, but then we moved to the country. Apparently, none of the phone companies knows we exist. So, we had to get cell phones. But, it is resoundingly crazy that people will pay $100/mo. for cell service plus the cost of a land-line. Wowza. One or the other. I had a landline (and got made fun of) until 2008...then was forced to get a cell phone. *sigh* Oh well. :)


Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

This is hilarious. I haven't used a landline since my freshman year of college and it was a pain. I'm hoping I don't have to go back. Voted up, useful and funny.


mljdgulley354 profile image

mljdgulley354 4 years ago

Yes this was hilarious. I actually miss using some of those landline tips. At one time I had a cell phone and a land line. I used to punch in numbers on the land line to make it sound like something was wrong with the phone. lol


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks for the comments, everyone. I am glad everyone enjoyed it. I still like my landline phone, although I am considering switching to a cell phone as my main phone, but still keeping the landline for emergencies. I still keep thinking back to the earthquake in Maryland and no one could call out on the cell phones. I, however, had no problems calling out. And why? Because I was using a landline phone to call another landline phone! I guess I am old fashioned, but I still love a landline. :-)


DougBerry profile image

DougBerry 4 years ago from Abilene, TX

Of course, there is one major drawback to land-line phones: they ring when you call them. Part of the people I work with never answer their phones before noon if they aren't working. They claim they don't ring. Yeah, that's what happens when you turn your phone off, you drunken bums.

Voted funny and up.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Hahaha... that is so true. Except sometimes I do turn off the ringer on my landline phones. If I've had a rough day, there is no way I am picking up the phone, so I turn it off. Maybe the guys you work with can claim they do the same. Thanks for the votes and thanks for visiting my page!


lisa.bom 4 years ago

So funny. My husband uses the land line as a cell phone. It is a cordless. He puts it in his pocket and takes it with him wherever he goes. We were out at a restaurant once and he tried to use it.


lifeintoronto profile image

lifeintoronto 4 years ago from Toronto

Very funny article! There's my favorite way to interrupt unwanted conversations - I simply hang up, and don't pick up if they call again. And if later they ask what happened, I usually tell them that the battery died on me and I didn't have the charger:-) Might work well with land lines.


Genesis profile image

Genesis 4 years ago from Canada

LOL great Hub! I absolutely dislike using telephones/cellphones and just refuse to answer them until I'm ready! However, I will adopt the dropped call, and static in the future. Glad to know I'm not the only one who avoid phone calls... I'm not even sure why! lol

Thanks for the giggles, Voted UP! ;0)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

lisa.bom - Hahaha... that sounds like something I would do. I also try to use the remote control as a phone sometimes or use the phone to change the channels.

lifeintoronto - Oh, yes! The classic "battery dying" excuse. I forgot all about that one, but that does happen a lot with cell phones. Somehow the charger is never to be found either. Good idea!

Genesis - Yes, I love avoiding phone calls. I work at a place where I absolutely have to pick up the phone no matter what, so I love not answering the phone when I am at home. Sometimes I just watch it ring and I love it!

Thanks for the vote up!

Thank you everyone for your comments!


abseventy 4 years ago from india

how can some one talk about the land line in this age


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Ummm.... someone can and did talk about the landline in this age. Some people still like a landline phone.


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

this is really funny. I usually keep a phone lying around and I have a home phone number. I used to use it in my office, but, with business slow, I haven't had as much need.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I am glad you enjoyed it. As much as cell phones annoy me, I still continue to consider switching to one. I just want to save money... once I find one cheap enough, I guess I will make the switch.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

I love your humor Jeannie! I have a cell phone, have for many years. But still have not got rid of the land line. My thoughts go back to 9/11 when I could not make any cell phone calls and was thrilled to finally get home from work so I could call my family. This article was fun, thanks!

Sharyn


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks, Sharyn! I think a landline phone is best for that very reason, too. We had an earthquake recently and no one was able to dial out on cell phones. However, my trusty landline phone still worked and I could call other landlines. Thanks for dropping by!

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