I Despise The Forwarded Joke Emails But Every Once In Awhile

I Despise The Forwarded Joke Emails But Every Once In Awhile…Don’t Get Me Started!

I’ve told everyone I know that the fastest way to be deleted from my inbox is to send me a joke of the day or something you think is hi-larious and you’ve forwarded it to your seventeen hundred “closest” friends. The only thing worse than these are the dreaded chain emails that tell you that you have to forward it to ten people immediately or become fatter, balder and Satan’s mistress if you don’t. I hate all of these and anyone who is a good friend of mine knows this. And the whole Facebook thing of forwarding videos, jokes, requests for a gun in “Mafia Wars” etc. seems like an extension of the whole forwarded email thing and I hate that too. I despise the forwarded joke emails but every once in awhile…Don’t Get Me Started!

So here goes, the one that was forwarded to me recently that I didn’t delete right away and I enjoyed. They’re rare and I will rarely inflict them upon anyone but hey, it was a slow day for blogging so here you go…

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

 

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Coors Lites than Kay.

"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

I despise the forwarded joke emails but every once in awhile…Don’t Get Me Started!

Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com

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livelonger profile image

livelonger 7 years ago from San Francisco

I agree - I delete almost all of those emails but this list was a real keeper! (I'm off to spam it to my closest 1700 friends)

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