I Am Extremely Terrified of Skynet Google
Alternate title: Skynet Google Is Watching You and Me ... Why I Am Extremely Terrified of Google.
The Untold Story... Warning, humor may be present; but also lots of informational items and resources. In truth, Google does seem to be one of the more benign corporations out there.
Google skynet is everywhere...
Wherever I go, there is Google...
Why am I extremely afraid of Google?
No matter which website I visit, there's the Google API's scattered across my screen. Google knows I've been there.
Whenever I search for something, Google knows and Google saves. And then Google follows me around, telling me all about it for the next month.
Google knows where I've been. Google knows where I am. Google knows where I want to go. But wait, there's more...
- Google knows my name.
- Google knows my gender.
- Google knows my age.
- Google knows my ethnicity.
- Google knows my education level.
- Google knows what I do for a living.
- Google knows what I do for fun.
- Google knows what I buy.
- Google knows the companies I love.
- Google knows the companies I hate.
- Google knows what financial institution I use.
- Google knows where I live.
Google is watching us... Skynet indeed...!
I am extremely terrified of Google because...
Not only does Google want to know, and does know, everything about me; they want to watch me.
So much so, they even send driverless cars with cameras around to follow me wherever I go. Sure, they say it is for their Google Maps; but I know better.
And if the cars weren't bad enough, now Google is launching satellites to watch over me. I mean seriously, satellites!?! They claim it's for their Google Earth, but then they took a picture of me in front of my house. [Yes, they really did. The technology is that good. No, I'm not posting the link; I'm already paranoid enough as it is.]
And then, of course, there's the whole GPS thing...
Google isn't happy just knowing everything about us and where we are at any given moment. Google is gradually buying up the entire planet. If you doubt this, check out acquisitions and partnerships at Wikipedia. Not only is Google buying up everything in sight, they have even partnered with the NASA Ames Research Center.
The NSA certainly loves Google and what they do. So much so, they have been busily stealing all of Google's information about us from Google's data centers; leastwise until Google wised-up and encrypted it. That is also covered in the aforementioned Wikipedia article.
Do you use web-based email? Someone is probably thumbing through your letters as we speak.
Do you use Google Docs? Best not to put anything there that some law enforcement agency might be interested in...
Google Search Page
It gets worse... Google has a sense of humor and can strike at any time...
...and without warning.
Depending on which browser you use:
- Do not do a Google search for the word "askew".
- Do not do a Google search for the phrase "zerg rush".
- Do not tell Google to "Do a barrel roll".
This is only the tip of the iceberg. You can find more at Google Hoaxes and Easter Eggs.
[If you right-click any of the links, you can open them in a new tab or window.]
Where will Google be in 100 years?
Other companies that have survived over 100 years include ExxonMobil, IBM, General Electric, Chevron, McKesson, and many others.
IBM is the most notable of these. Even though they are in the cutthroat technology industry, and even though they have seriously messed up at times, they are still around. And even prospering.
Will Google still be around in a 100 years? Probably. As long as Google continues to keep hiring the smartest people on the planet; and as long as Google continues its company charter policy of "Do no evil", and thus avoiding perturbing the general population; the odds of Google's continuing prosperity are good.
When some new company does come along with a threatening new technology, Google will no doubt do the usual; buy them or stomp on them. Capitalism is capitalism...
Though this page is of humorous intent, it somehow also kind of turned into a Review of Google and of internet life in general. I'm fine with that. All in all, I am fond of Google. One really does have to admire what Google has accomplished since its inception. And as far as corporations go, Google really does seem to be less evil than most.
One of Google's Data Centers
Poll - Inquiring minds want to know...
Are you extremely terrified of Google?See results without voting
This somewhat humorous article was inspired by the Google-search auto-completion: "I am extremely terrified..."
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