Mistrust Massive Moronic Mythical Misrepresentations!
On my controversial How To Destroy Your CPU By Lapping It Hub, a commenter named Matthew who I had previously deleted for spamming asked me two relevant questions:
Hal, why are you negative about lapping? If I said that I have removed the IHS on my Pentium 4, would say that's stupid and a way to destroy your CPU?
I know that my readership which has made me one of the leading bloggers on HubPages looks to me to analyze various situations and provide the most accurate advice I can muster. You can review the 242 Hubs I have written to date and read my position on everything from Harley-Davidson pricing policies to obtaining the lowest quotes to print a magazine to removing phrases offensive to Muhammad (PBUH) and one billion Muslims from a fellow Hubber's article. My readers trust me because I have no agenda: I don't sell anything (except my writing) and am not out to make a quick buck off any of them for any reason. I make the vast majority of my income by ghostwriting bestselling books and providing web content for major corporations: I recently completed over 3,000 tightly focused technical articles for a Fortune 500 company. I write Hubs primarily for enjoyment, thus I call 'em as I see 'em and my regular readers not only appreciate that, but keep coming back for more as my traffic goes up week by week. I have had one Hub alone draw over a quarter million visitors.
I regularly encounter various people/companies/groups/organizations online or offline who are making dubious claims and pitching sheer snake oil. You can see one of the latest by reading the comments at: Top Secret Code . Some of these are out and out scams created only to illegitimately profit from suckers dazzled by the hype. Others are urban myths and legends, beliefs that are widely held but have no basis in fact. Your particular hobby, unfortunately, falls into the latter category. I am not going to stand idly by while ordinary people who do not have sufficient grounding in a particular subject are scammed into paying $47 for a secret web code that does absolutely nothing, and I am also not going to stand idly by while similarly innocent people are told the outright lie that polishing an IHS is going to provide greater cooling improvements to a CPU than a top-ranked water cooling system.
Why? In my many years in business I have seen every sort of scam, fraud, swindle, hoax, deception, scheme, jig, artifice and outright lie applied by the ruthlessly unethical and by the more or less naively deluded. My platform on HubPages has allowed me to gain a considerable readership and I will continue to keep informing my readers whenever the Emperor Has No Clothes. Or Nickel IHS.
I don't spare anyone my tongue lashings. I have long followed a highly respected freelance job site operated by Deborah Ng. However, she stepped out of line and got called out by me in the: How freelancewritinggigs.com Exploited Its Own Writers Hub. I have known Ms. Ng by reputation and thus strongly doubt that she set out to rip off the loyal members of her own writing community. But the bottom line is that whether by design or blunder she created a contest that exploited writers, and she should either apologize and end the misbegotten contest she created, or pay the writers who have been writing for free to enrich her website for over two months.
My weapons are logic and common sense. On the subject of lapping, I have shown that a micropolishing machine costs around $100,000 which would "lap" Intel IHSes and give everyone the "alleged benefits" of lapping. Why on Earth would a $122 billion corporation that spends tens of billions of dollars on fabs refuse to implement a simple metal polishing step in their manufacturing that likely equals their budget for coffee? As I stated in the comments:
The Prescott CPU family's bad rap for magma temps cost Intel millions of dollars of lost sales. So you're trying to tell me that this conversation took place at Intel HQ:
PR Guy: Our Prescott line is melting PCs around the world and one has even been implicated in triggering Chernobyl. Here is a brochure of a micropolishing machine that costs our operating budget for the next three minutes and which is guaranteed to drop CPU operating temps by 20 degrees C. Can we get it?
Paul O.: Nah. Just change the marketing on Prescott to show that it's an effective space heater.
The answer is not that there is some huge Intel conspiracy (which AMD would have to be in on as well) to spend untold billions on developing circuitry and then housing them in pot metal which overheats it. The whole concept that placing a nickel IHS over a copper layer acts as an insulator is absurd. If the heat transfer properties were that significant, then the exterior IHS would be copper as well. No, I'm not referring to a nanojoule or two: I'm discussing the type of inadequate heat transfer that would result in a ten to twenty degree Centigrade temperature delta.
The entire basis of this argument is that there have been reports from anonymous PC tech forum members who have conducted "scientific research" on their own rigs and then gone on to claim this level of extreme additional cooling once the IHS nickel layer has been effectively removed through sanding and polishing. Here is the essence of the conclusions: They are impossible. Why are they impossible? Because if I have a multi-billion dollar technology corporation with campuses full of highly qualified and educated engineers who hold one opinion on one side, and on the other side I have a bunch of teenies who go by nicknames similar to Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po, and choose to manifest their hormonal excesses by competing for Alpha Male forum status in the "Who Can Claim The Highest Post-Lap Temperature Delta" (or for that matter ""Who Can Claim The Highest Overclock" which is similarly pointless and absurd), guess which side I'm going to believe?
As for Matthew's question of removing the IHS completely, you can also choose to remove the backplate from your Rolex Oyster Perpetual Yacht Master II and then run out to your backyard and make mudpies. Dang, it's your money and you can blow it in any way you want. You can defend your choice by stating that you read on the www.idiotswithrolexes.com forum that running your Rolex without a backplate and cramming mud into the mechanism will make it keep more accurate time, regardless of the fact that removing the backplate and sticking mud inside will void your warranty (as lapping will void your Intel CPU warranty). You are fully within your rights of doing anything you want to whatever you own. And I'm fully within my rights, as I have stated previously, to analyze various situations and provide the most accurate advice I can muster, thus inform my readership that anyone who does that is a... yeah, here comes that word again... MORON!
More by this Author
Of all the incredibly stupid things people do to their CPUs, including overclocking them until they are hot enough to melt steel, the single most imbecilic modification has to be lapping. Using absurdly...
The Most Outlandish Computer Comparison Ever! A 1986 Mac Plus pitted against a 2007 AMD Athlon 64 X2 4800+ DualCore in a series of Microsoft Word & Excel user tests. You will NEVER believe who wins!
The one and only real Braciola: a slice of prime, lean mega-pounded beef, filled with the most delectable mixture on Earth; rolled, browned and then simmered in sauce all day long! Yum!